Intoxicating

intoxicating

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word count: 4.1k

warnings: grinding, drinking, cussing, plz lemme know if i forgot anything else :3

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the first thing people took notice of when they looked at you -

that mesmerizing smile.

the way you carried yourself was so profound, as if every bad thing thrown your way would just bounce right off.

your bubbly energy enraptured everybody around you, feeding off of your wide grins, and constant laughter bringing a sense of joy into their life.

earning your nickname; sweet girl.

everyone loved you from the moment they laid their eyes on you.

i mean... who wouldn't?

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part 2 here!

"Sweetheart, you have got to get ahold of yourself."

"I do- I don't know what makes you think I don't."

A scoff left Garcia's stained lips, as she stared at your frantic fingers messing with your hair, trying to apply everything all at once. Reaching for your signature perfume, spraying a good dosage on to ensure it stays on the whole night. The blonde had come over to get ready for a night out in the town with her fellow co-workers, including a certain brunette that you had a soft spot for.

Your hair was not cooperating with you. Not. In. The. Slightest.

Does this dress make me look- too much?

Who the hell made this damn mousse-

"If you touch your hair one more time, I will personally make it my life's mission to get rid of your existence." She grabbed a hold of your arm, tugging you out of the bathroom despite your protests. "Spencer won't care what your hair looks like when he's got you underneath him."

A gasp left your lips, smacking Penelope's giggling behind as she ran away from you towards your front door. "Or above him- whatever you're into sweet cheeks."

"Oh! I'm going to get your ass, Pen."

"Run that by my boss first!"

Penelope ripped the front door open, revealing a startled Hotch who had just raised his fist to knock on your house door. A smug smirk graced the blonde's lips, sticking her tongue out at you as she ran towards the SUV where Morgan was waiting. You stood there with a pout on your lips, grabbing your purse from your entrance table. Hotch eyed your dressed up figure, feeling his heart rate pick up as you made your way over to him your perfume engulfing his senses.

"Hiya Hotch." Wrapping your arm around his waist, giving the older man a tight squeeze letting your free hand lock the door behind you stuffing your keys into your purse. Penelope and you might have had one too many shots, the constant cheesing on your face giving you away. 

"Hello sweet girl." Hotch had known you long enough to see you in every situation imaginable, including your drunk side. He chuckled as you left your arm around him, not minding it for a second as you guys walked down the steps to the car. "Are we sure this isn't the aftermath of the bar?"

You let out a small giggle, knowing he was partially right. Hotch opened up the car door for you, helping you into the lifted vehicle a small thank you leaving your lips as you scooted further in as he squeezed in behind you.

The car smelled like people who had were planning on getting laid.

Hotch’s cologne smelled of leather and cinnamon. Discretely trying to hide the fact that you were inching closer to him like a dog sniffing out a treat.

Whilst Morgans cologne smelled of coconut and sugar; not enough to be irritating to the nose.

Both you and Penelope's perfumes smelled nice and sweet, contrasting with the guys.

Penelope was blasting Kesha through the SUV, while Morgan attempted to turn it down without her noticing. Either she noticed or didn't care, allowing her voice to do the work for her as she embodied Kesha.

"We are just getting started, I promise. You should join us! Didn't Morgan draw the short stick for tonight? Leaves you perfectly able to get wasted with us,"

Morgan gave you a glare in the rearview mirror, not letting your mocking affect his driving as he tried his best to follow the law with his boss as his passenger. Hotch just shook his head as you unzipped your purse showing him the contents inside.

His eyebrow raised, he saw several colorful shooters clinking around in the small accessory adorning your body, a smile gracing your warming skin. You took out a bright green shooter, shoving it into his hands.

"What in the-"

"Pen. Catch." Penelope didn't even have to move, her hands expertly catching the pink shot you had picked out just for her. You opted for a blue one, knowing this flavor in specific masked the taste as best it could making it easier to down.

You raised your eyebrow back up at Hotch cracking your drink open, a soft sigh left his lips knowing you wouldn't back down. He proceeded to crack his open, whoops leaving the girls lips. Clinking your shot against his. Your arm moving to wrap around his bringing the cold glass to your lips, allowing the burning sensation to trickle down your throat. Hotch felt his breath hitch at your touch, downing the shooter back.

Hotch was used to harder liquor, but something about the neon colored vodka was already making him feel a little warm. Shaking his head at the taste, putting the lid back on the drink as he watched you reach for another.

"Woah, sweet girl... you sure you can handle another?"

Your rolled your eyes at his concerning words, easily tossing another shooter back as you opened your mouth to show it was gone. Hotch felt a small smirk tug at his lips at the sight, adjusting himself in his seat subtly.

"I almost flunked out of college my freshman year because I was getting drunk every weekend. I learned my handful of tricks- I would put Dr. Reid to shame." Morgan whistled, making Garcia laugh as she reminisced on some of the stories you had told her. An ever-growing smirk graced your lips, re-applying a generous amount of lip gloss to your lips. 

Hotch eyed the bubbly girl, as she made herself comfortable against the taller man. He spread his jean cladded legs as she plopped her purse on his lap, using him as a table rummaging through the contents. Choosing to ignore the sensation of her nimble fingers ghosting over his dark wash jeans, adjusting his position on the leather seat. She pulled out another shooter and mingled it into his hands, a small chuckle bubbling in his chest.

"You're going to have to show me one day, sweet cheeks.”

"Wouldn't you love to see that, sweet boy?"

Morgan smirked up at you as he pulled up to the valet who were excited to take the keys from your favorite Agent, sending a wink to the blushing girl holding the keys. You were about to open the door, almost jumping as you saw Hotch had already beaten you to it. Looking back and forth between the door and your now empty seat beside you, the grinning raven haired man made your heart skip a beat.

"How-"

"Your intoxicated state is making your reaction time slow," His deep voice hummed into your ear, his hands splaying across your back allowing his warmth to keep you from shivering. Hotch lent his arm out, grasping onto his bicep firmly as you made your way into the bar. The shooter you had given the tall man tucked away in his jeans, holding your body close to ensure you wouldn't run off.  His cologne smelled even stronger up close, allowing yourself to engulf the scent a soft sigh leaving your glossed lips.

It didn't take long for Hotch have to glare at the wandering eyes of plenty of men who were attempting to undress you with their nasty eyes. He knew men were absolute garbage as time had gone by, but he knew that he would never let these ones especially anywhere near you tonight. 

It didn't take long for you to find your other co-workers even in all of the chaos, the place bordering a club atmosphere. The bar was currently playing one of your favorite songs, allowing the music to guide your body. You let your grip loosen as you made a beeline towards JJ who was smiling widely up at you, a bright pink coating her cheeks. Your heels clicking mesmerizingly against the stone floor, having mastered the art in running in those strappy shoes.

"JJ!! I missed youuuu," You hurriedly wrapped your arms around her neck, pressing a sticky kiss onto her cheek. She let out a muffled laugh as she held you tighter. "Where is-"

"Spence? Right behind you, honey." The giggling girl whispered into your ear, you spun on your heel making eye contact with the man you had been thinking about all night. A smile made its way onto your lips, taking a seat beside the brunette. 

As if he couldn't get anymore attractive.

The sight of his dark green cardigan bringing out the green in his hazel eyes, hidden behind his god forsaken sexy ass glasses. His cologne wafted over to you, the soft scent of coffee and something sweet. The smell was enough to make your mouth water.

What kind of test do they have to pass to work at the BAU? It seemed like every man and woman had to make your knees buckle to work there.

"Hiya Spence."

The flustered boy tucked his hair behind his ear, turning in his seat to give you his undivided attention. Your perfume infiltrating his nostrils, before having heard your voice. A smell he was all too keen on knowing, wetting his bottom lip nervously. "Oh h-hi!"

The conscious part of your brain attempted to send signals to your body to be smart, your drunk limbs ignoring it as you allowed your legs to entwine with his slack cladded leg closest to you. His breath hitching the smallest of gasps leaving his pink lips. 

The sound of someone hollering behind you made you turn around in your seat, waving excitedly at the dark hair girl approaching. Elle feigned a dramatic hand over her chest, her dress showing off her curves in all the right places. The girl walked over to you, your smile having not left your lips since getting in the car. Smacking a wet kiss on your dark haired friends cheek who just wrapped an arm around your waist. "We were about to send out a search party. We thought Morgan got you guys lost again,"

"Oh he most definitely did, I think the aftershave has made him lose some brain cells over the years." You teased the burly man, who shot you a glare reaching over the table to flick your forehead a gasp leaving your lips. You detangled your legs from Spencers missing the warmth almost as soon as you detached, sending a harsh kick to Morgan who hissed at your heels.

"Son of a bitch. Watch your back, sweet cheeks."

"Want me to kiss it better?" A small twinkle shone in his eyes, his usual flirty smirk making its way onto his face. You turned on your charm, resting your face on your hands as you batted your eyelashes at the man your glossy lips parted open. Everyone at the table watched in amusement as Morgan practically melted at her doe eyes looking up at him, leaning closer to her face. 

"I would love nothing more-"

"I call dibs first, Chocolate Thunder." Penelope butted in, making her first appearance at the table a tray full of drinks. She handed you your signature drink, the vibrant color matching her outfit. Clapping your hands as you blew a kiss to the blonde, wrapping your lips around the straw humming happily at the cold liquid making its way down your throat. 

"No need to call dibs when I've already kissed you, baby cheeks."

"You're not special, Derek. We've all kissed, sweets." All the girls threw in their words of agreement, a chuckle leaving Spencers lips as he watched the look of disbelief on Morgan's face. "Sweet as her name, she is." 

"Don't make me kiss you on the mouth again, Pen."

"Maybe that's what I'm hinting at, sweet girl."

A burst of giggles left the girls mouths as they all grabbed ahold of the shots Garcia had bought everyone. 

Well, everyone except Morgan. 

Penelope had grabbed something strong; wanting to ensure it did what it was intended to do. You had seen Spencer had also proceeded to throw back a shot a small wince leaving his lips. "You would think after 9,006 years, that we would know how to mask the taste of alcohol."

"I like the pain. Gives a little thrill, don't you think?" Tilting your head at the doctor whose eyes widened a little, his cheeks flushing pink. A small giggle left your lips placing your hand dangerously close to his thigh, turning your attention to the raven haired man beside you.

"What are you nursing there, Hotch?" He turned to his left, eyeing the flustered girl a soft chuckle leaving his lips as he showed her his glass. "Mind if I have a sip?" 

"Of course. Go ahead." The girl gently took the glass from his hands, taking a small sip of the drink a soft hum leaving her lips. He felt his chest tighten at the sight of her lips on the same glass his were just on. She just grinned at the man, handing him back his jack and coke. "Not bad- too Hotch for me." 

Gently rising from your chair at the table, gaining the attention of everyone at the table a grin already plastered on your face. Spencer eyed your radiating body, his brain turning to mush as he tried to focus on the words leaving your pretty lips. Chugging the rest of your cocktail, the cold feeling nice on your warming face. "Time to dance!"

Penelope wasted no time, dragging a more than ready Morgan onto the swarm of people on the dance floor. JJ and Elle had already partnered up, their swaying bodies entwined together. Leaving you in between Spencer and Hotch. Both who looked absolutely delicious-

Hold on- what?

Delicious?

I mean... 

Hotch's black polo did absolute numbers for his muscular body. His biceps just about bulging out of the shirt, snug around his lean torso. Wanting nothing more than to wrap your arms around his waist. And don't even mention his gorgeous eyes, with their specks of green becoming visible the closer you got to him.

And then Spencer.

That boy looked like straight out of a rom com. His puppy eyes staring at you intently like nothing around you existed. His chiseled jaw and those puffy lips were all you could think about at work. His button ups fitting him just right, the cardigans about to swallow him whole wishing you were in them as well.

"Sweets?"

The sound of Hotchs raspy voice speaking broke you out of your trance, blinking away your borderline wet dream about your co-worker and superior. Taking notice of Spencers empty seat, turning to Hotch with a confused look on your face. "He went to the restroom. Everything okay? You were unresponsive there for a second."

"Y-yes. Sorry, I was- I don't even know. You guys both looked so good, my brain started short circuiting." The words were spewing out of your mouth like muscle memory, a shocked expression filtering over the usually furrowed mans face. "How about that dance?"

"Oh no, I don't-"

"Hotchner, don't start. I was promised a dance,"

"-I think that was you doing the promising." You grabbed ahold of his wrist, tugging the protesting man whose eyes had grown soft. "You're awfully strong when you're drunk. Did you know that?"

"I think it's similar to when crack heads do crack, except without the crack." You shouted into his ear, the music practically making it near impossible to hear. Hotch just let a laugh slip out, his hands having found their home on your hips barely touching you, afraid he would mess it all up.

Pitbull had begun to blast through the club, your body swinging to the beat having known the rhythm a little too well for your liking. The clubs lights had gotten dark, except for the strobe lights and stage lights lighting up the crowd every now and then. You could see Penelope shouting the words at Morgan who bared an amused stare at the blonde, dancing with her drunken form the pink spotlight lighting up her blonde hair perfectly.

A whine left your lips at the lack of contact with your dance partner, pressing your body against the towering man above you knowing this exact situation must be written somewhere on what not to do with your boss. He almost halted his movements if it weren't for your hands finding his and wrapping his arms further around your waist. Hands finding their home around his neck, chills going down his spine as he felt how close you were to him.

The music took ahold of your body. Every beat sending your hips to follow half a second later, memorizing the way Hotch followed your every move. As if your bodies were made just for one another; you moved in sync with each other, neither of you having to give cues as if you guys had been doing this for years.

Hotch felt this body growing hotter the longer you were grinding up against him, a small line of guilt bubbling inside but his body seemed to be doing all the thinking for him. His hands tightening their grip on your hips as he pulled you impossibly closer to him a soft gasp leaving your lips. Your body swaying and turning in his grasp pressing your ass against his growing member, Hotch's head leaning into your neck.

You rolled your head back leaning against Hotch's muscular body, trying to see if it was your mind playing tricks on your or if it truly was what you thought it was poking against your ass.

Every touch felt- electric.

The pawing at your body from Hotch made your body writhe in his grasp, feeling yourself getting drunk in his touch. Shaking hands reaching behind you to find his head full of hair and run your fingers through his gelled hair, enjoying the soft rumble against his chest. Turning back around to face him, wondering what was running through his head right now.

Hotch knew he must have looked as crazy as he felt. Scanning every inch of her face, cupping her face in his warm calloused hand tucking her hair away from her face.

He could see every tiny freckle, and scar on your face.

The sparkly gloss coating your lips enticing him the longer you mouthed the words close to his chest.

Every one of his senses was focused on you.

Your perfume.

Your body.

Your gorgeous eyes.

He couldn't look away-

"If you wanted to kiss me Hotch, you could have just asked,"

Before Hotch could lean down and press his awaiting lips on yours, you spotted a tall lanky figure looking around detaching your limbs from the man a giant grin gracing your features. Waving at the approaching figure, tugging the brunette closer to you. The older man almost rolled his eyes, keeping his hands tucked into his pocket his fingers knocking with the shooter you had gifted him earlier.

"Spence! I was about to send out a search party,"

The blushing boy tried to stammer out a response, his eyes locking with Hotch's.

His boss- correction. His friend was staring at him as if he had just came out and told him he was the unsub on a case. Wiping his clammy hands against his dark slacks, wondering what he had interrupted.

"The line to the bathroom was long. If it weren't for the fact that I had to-"

"Did you know that Aaron is a good dancer?" You shouted in Spencers direction, the name slipping off your tongue sweet like honey.

Hotch turned to face the girl replaying the sound of his name falling off of her lips over and over again, hoping she would say it again. Spencer raised a surprised eyebrow at the cheesing girl, whose hold on him hadn't faltered.

"I'm not too surprised. His stature and athleticism point him in the direction of having better coordination than the average person."

"I have no idea what you just said! Maybe Pitbull is having some affect on my hearing," 

"Maybe we should go sit down, hm?" Hotch whispered into your ear, his breath fanning over your face. Nodding along to his words, grabbing ahold of his unsuspecting hand tugging them over to the back corner table you were sitting at. A soft sigh left your lips, as you reached for Hotch's glass tossing the rest of the drink back. 

Spencer eyed your hand that was still holding onto Hotch's practically burning a hole into his much larger hand, a million thoughts coursing through his head. "Next one is on me, Aaron."

"Don't worry about it, sweet girl. Let me go buy another drink, I'll order you a water."

"What! I'm not even close to being done, please..." A pout found its way onto your face," Just one or two more."

Hotch couldn't say no to that face. "One more. Reid, want anything?"

"Can I just get a water, please?"

Hotch untangled your hand from his, his retreating figure hard to miss even with all the people surrounding him. Spencer took this chance to try to erase any progress Hotch had made, his figure seating itself right beside you. His shaking hand found its place on your thigh, a choked sound leaving your lips eyeing the nervous boy standing before you. Your heart just about dropped into your stomach, a fluttering in your stomach as the guy you had been crushing on had made a move.

Please move it higher-

"I wish we could have had our dance, Spence... I'm sure you've got some more tricks up your sleeve I haven't seen."

"I don't think I would have been able to keep it professional if I got my hands on you,"

Fuck.

"What if I didn't want you too?"

You were playing with fire. 

Knowing full well you had just basically had sex with your boss out on the dance floor, but your brain wanted them both. 

And bad. 

Spencers face heated up, his face leaning closer to yours feeling your chest tighten as he almost brushed his lips against yours his warm minty breath burning your eyes slightly. Holding your breath as you felt him pull back a confused look on your face, taking notice of a looming figure coming your way. The feeling of your blood rushing to your already burning face made you feel a little faint, fanning your face to try to cool off.

Morgan raised an eyebrow at the pair of you a knowing look on his face, clapping Spencers shoulder with a smirk on his lips. "My man. I never knew you had it in you,"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, okay. I didn't know it was a secret, sweet girl. Does this mean the nicknames are off limits now?"

You giggled at the reddening of Spencers face, nudging him playfully. "Not at all, baby. But, Spencer is right. We have no idea what you're talking about."

"What is Spencer right about again?"

"Oh, him and our sweets are-"

Spencer had read your mind, sending a swift kick towards Morgan who let out a yelp turning around and giving the brunette a harsh punch to the arm. Hotch felt his face tense at the words Morgan was insinuating, hoping Morgan was just playing a joke on him taking the seat closest to you leaving you sandwiched in between your two wet dreams once more.

"Don't tell me you're all out of dances, sweet girl. I still haven't gotten mine."

"Oh trust, I'm not. I was just waiting on a good song to come on-"

As if someone was listening in on your conversation, Club Can't Handle Me came on a fan favorite between you and Morgan. A loud laugh leaving both of your mouths as he made his way over to you dragging you over to the huge crowd that you had just escaped. Morgans hands expertly found their place on your hips, having danced with the famous flirt many times. 

The way he grinned against your body had you almost a mess, allowing your legs to slip around his thigh dancing on him as if your life depended on it. By this point there was a layer of sweat on both of your bodies, making you look pornographic on the dance floor. His tight v-neck showed off his muscles well in the dim lighting of the bar, his arms practically engulfing you. 

"You're too hot to be here by yourself,"

"Shut up, Morgan."

The pretty boy leaned into the cusp of your ear, his lips brushing up against you. "If looks could kill, your two lover boys would have killed me tenfold." 

Peeking over his shoulder, noticing the evident glares of Hotch and Spencer who looked like they were 2 seconds away from walking over. "Want to help me make them make the first move?”

"You're an absolute minx, you know that?"

You knew Morgan was right, but the alcohol in you just wanted them to walk over and make you theirs. The music had changed to a slow sexier song, knowing if you were to do anything it would have to be now when the music would show everything off.

Closing your eyes allowing the music to guide you, putting every ounce of your being into grinding against Morgan. It didn’t take long of Morgan putting his hands closer to your ass before a cough interrupted the pair of you.

“Mind if I but in, Morgan?”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

a/n: guys this came to me in the middle of the night and i did NOT stop writing until 5 am. it just kept coming out. and FUCK, i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure rn. this is my first criminals minds fic pookies.

a/n: GUYS WHAT THE HECK! i am literally writing part two right now, you guys have been so nice to me :,)

Me, writing something at 1 am: Omg I'm literally a genius this words sound amazing I ate totally whith this one omfg

The writing:

that. is. what. i’m. saying. 👏🏼

for those who ask for part twos, or still don’t understand why content creators ignore requests for those part twos, or stop creating in general, i made a super easy diagram to follow that will help you get those part twos from your favorite writers, or more content from your favorite creators!

hi lovelies! i currently have some time off from work, so if you would like to request anything feel free! if you would like me to use your name, your hair color, your eye color then let me know. thank you lovelies! <3

also! if you guys would like to read my work and give me any feedback or criticism i would greatly appreciate it :)

amen 🙏🏼

The real barbie is Y/n.

Y/n’s a doctor, a cop, a scientist, an agent, vet, hero, villain, astronaut, lawyer, spy, criminal, artist, chef, engineer, psychologist, architect, journalist, firefighter, event planner, mechanic, photographer, musician, actor, interior designer, bartender, fashion designer, barista, florist, forensic scientist, flight attendant, profiler, tour guide, translator, etc.

valentine ~ h.s 

i listened to valentine by laufey while writing this. and i highly recommend you do as well. this got me all in my feels and i hope it does the same for you :3

i've rejected affection for years

and years

"you absolutely amaze me. you can't just do that to people,"

"and why not? it's my life- and last i checked i could do whatever the hell i wanted." you retorted back at your best friend who was shaking her head at you. you were spending your day off of work with one of your closest friends, secretly trying to make her head explode with your mind from all of her cristisim. your feet dangling on the back of the couch swiping through your phone, popping another grape into your mouth.

the tall girl was getting onto you for rejecting a guy who had been pining over you since you were 15. you guys had been playfully flirting with one another for some time, but you personally didn't take him seriously up until last year.

the two of you had gone on a couple dates, and while he thought things were going great, you just couldn't see yourself with him. hence the beginnings of this conversation because she had just found out that you had flat out stopped responding to the guy after he had said something that had irked you the week before.

"he's literally perfect for you! he's got the same sense of humor as you. he loves being outside. AND he wants kids."

"honey, i know you're trying to be helpful, but it's not that simple. i tried. i really did, but i couldn't. i just know when things click. i can feel them falling into place. but we were just a little too similar. we were butting heads, even this early into the relationship. he was hardheaded, so am i," sighing as you threw your phone down on the floor, your fluffy rug cushioning its fall. bringing yourself to get off the comfort of your sofa. padding into the kitchen, while speaking over your shoulder as you refilled your bowl with more snacks. "i'm indecisive, and so is he. the entire car ride was spent with us saying 'oh i don't mind' 'whatever you want' 'it's up to you'. it drove me INSANE. and i figured he would finally get the message. hey! I really don't like you, and maybe next time think about what you're saying before telling me you were expecting something different with me. stupid asshole..."

"i think it's just cause you're picky. you guys would have made cute babies,"

"if you like him so much, then why don't you date him?" the slight jab made her throw her pillow at you, a loud laugh leaving your lips. grabbing the biggest cube of cheese you could find on your bowl, chunking it at her face a cackle leaving the both of you guys' lips.

now i have, and damn it

its kind of weird

"hey, honey..." the sound of your nickname rolling off your boys tongue made you smile softly, turning to face the brunette whose face was currently smushed against the sofa. you eyed his sleepy frame, feeling your heart melt as you saw all of his bouncy curls sticking out from his hoodie. "i miss you."

a soft scoff left your lips, quirking an eyebrow up at him. you set down your batter covered spoon, crossing your arms across your chest feigning annoyance. harry had just woken up from a nap, his eyes still puffy. he just kept on smiling up at you, your facade crumbling with every second you spent looking at his face. shaking your head at the boy, strands of your hair falling onto your forehead.

"you're crazy, h."

"crazy for you." it was almost laughable how quickly that boy was able to respond to your comments with cheesy lines. even after a year, he still treated you exactly like he had in the early weeks of your relationship. taking it upon himself to woo you every chance he got.

you tossed the rag you had used to wipe off cookie dough from your arms, the dark red fabric plopping on his head of curls. "mmm. those cookies smell delicious, honey…red velvet?"

"your favorite." making your way over to harry, running your arms over his as you wrapped them around him. swatting the rag off his head, his green eyes popping out from behind the rag a playful glint in them. he adjusted his position to where he was sitting up, trying to drag you closer to him. "h, baby, i'm trying not to burn cookies over here."

"the quicker you get over here the quicker you get back to the cookies," he teased, his voice still raspy from having woken up. you allowed the brunette to tug you onto his lap, your knees on either side of his waist nearly melting into him due to how warm and cozy he was. his hands quickly finding their place on the small of your back, his thumbs rubbing over the exposed skin a small shiver made its way up your spine.

"you know- i feel like you do this on purpose. you get all nice and comfy, so whenever you wanna cuddle me you just pull me in; knowing damn well i can't resist you. and next thing you know, i'll never want to leave."

"that's the plan, lovey." a small flutter made its way to your chest, blush dusting your cheeks as you nuzzled into his face pressing a soft kiss onto his forehead. harry let out a noise of appreciation, nudging your nose with his as he tugged you closer. "your mouth smells like chocolate... were you eating the batter?"

"shut it,"

he tells me i'm pretty

don't know how to respond

bright. so damn bright. a soft whine left your lips as you attempted to twist away from the sunlight burning your eyelids. after spending a couple minutes of trying to ignore the bright white light, you decided to make a better use of your day and attempting to get up. your bleary eyes making eye contact with an inked chest, stiffening slightly. a small sound left your lips, as you rubbed your eyes to see if it was truly real life or if it was just a dream.

"pretty girl... did i wake you?" a soft flutter erupted in your stomach, smiling sleepily at his choice of words. he wrapped his arm around your frame, tugging you close to him laying your head on his chest. a soft whine left your lips as you nuzzled further into his warmth, allowing your legs to entwine with his. "still sleepy?"

"mhmm... so warm."

"then go back to bed, pretty girl." the sound of his morning voice, and with your head on his chest made him sound so good. so unreal. it was heavenly. you lifted your head up just to press a soft kiss on his startled lips, a chuckle leaving the brunette. you locked eyes with his bright green ones, wanting nothing more than to just spend all day staring at him.

"you're so pretty..." the brightest shade of pink dusted your cheeks, shying away from his stare. he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss onto your face.

i tell him that he's pretty too

can i say that?i don't have a clue

it truly didn't matter how many times your eyes looked onto that man, you were absolutely breath taken every time. he was gorgeous. absolutely beautiful. every tiny little scar, and the dark ink coating his toned skin. slowly lifting your hand up to trail it over the exposed skin. you traced the outline of every tattoo you could get your hands on, leaving featherlike kisses on his chest after you had finished a tattoo.

harry had told you many times about how insecure he got at times, especially after being on tour and most of his outfits being quite tight on him. so if he did have something he wasn't happy with, he knew his fans would end up capturing it from every possible angle.

but you couldn't see it.

you just couldn't.

he always told you about how sometimes his hair annoyed him because it never wanted to style just how he wanted it. his curls were always sticking out, every which way. he didn't like the little wrinkles by his eyes, that showed that he wasn't as young as he was whenever he first started. but you loved every inch of that man.

you made it your mission to shower that man in as much love and endless compliments, knowing it not only made him feel good but you would be able to see his cheeks flare up a bright red.

which was huge plus in your book.

one things you did every once in a while whenever you felt he was a little down; press a chaste kiss on his forehead, down to his left cheek, and then to his right, and then a nibble on his nose. if he hadn't already interrupted your nibble with his own lips, you would press a much awaited kiss onto his awaiting ones.

with every passing moment, i surprise myself

im scared of flies

im scared of guys

someone please help

"you have to get your shit together,"

"you think i'm not trying? i'm fucking terrified..."

"of what..?"

"of falling in love. i'm scared to let myself fall in love, cause i know the second i let that wall fall down he's gonna leave."

"you can't think like this-”

"i know! trust me i know. i just can't stop... every single person that i've dated, has always broken my heart like this. its only whenever i allow myself to relax, that's when they do it." your voice wavered at the end of that statement, tugging at the loose hairs that were falling out of your bun. your best friend was currently trying to get you to calm down, her worried eyes scanning your distressed figure.

you and harry's 1 year anniversary was coming up, right after valentines day and you were absolutely stressed. everything felt too good.

a little too good.

you were scared shitless. you felt like everything in the relationship was great. amazing, even. but you couldn't stop your anxiety from being at an all time high. harry had been a little distance, not incredibly, but enough for you to be stressed.

"he could just be busy, hon."

"he always tells me whenever he's busy. i just- what if i did something wrong?" she pursed her lips as she eyed you, her demeanor softening as she was realizing how worked up this was getting you. she wrapped her arm around you, allowing you to lay your head against her. "i'm sorry i get like this."

"no need to apologize. we just need to work on your fight or flight mode. and hopefully turn the flight off of auto."

"it's not my fault-"

"i know, sweets. but you can't just prepare for the worst whenever you get the slightest thought that he could be 'leaving'."

"i know... i'm just so scared of getting my heart broken, that my defense mechanism goes a little haywire."

cause i think i've fallen in love this time

i blinked, and suddenly i had a valentine

the sound of something crashing behind you made you jump, hastily turning around in fear of what the sound was. a groan leaving your lips as you realized your basket had fallen over.

you were in the middle of trying to build your boyfriend a gift for valentine's day, and things were going pretty good. well. they were.

you had taken it upon yourself to make him a goody basket with all of his favorite things; some throws for his house, a couple of his favorite brand of candles, his favorite sweets, and even a little crochet cow that you had made yourself as a spur in the moment decision. all you needed to do was throw them in the basket in an organized manner.

as a spontaneous decision you wanted to tie some balloons on the back of the basket; awful choice truly. for some reason you weren't thinking about using something to weigh down the basket before attaching the balloons, and next thing you knew the basket was laying sideways in a puddle of paint.

"you've got to be kidding me," you uttered some curse words, hurrying to grab some paper towels from the kitchen and trying to wipe the red blob of paint on the front of the basket. to no avail.

"everything okay in there, lovey?" the sound of harry's voice made you stiffen, halting your hurried movements. you scrambled to chuck the basket into the empty coat closet, struggling to get the balloons to cooperate with the door. you could give two shits about the paint getting on your clothes, successfully getting the door to shut.

the sound of harry making his way down the stairs made you jump into hyper speed, hastily grabbing a half done project of yours and plopping some of the bright paint on it and smearing it around with your hands to make it look like you were doing something. harry stopped as he spotted you sitting criss-cross on the floor, a smile making its way onto his face once he realized the mess you had made on yourself.

"lovey... you do know the paint goes on the canvas, right?"

"jesus, honey you scared me. and for your information, yes i do. the paint just doesn't like to stay on the canvas." you pouted, looking up at your boyfriend who was dressed in nothing but a pair of black sweatpants. you offered the brunette a paintbrush, a cheeky smile sported on your face. "wanna join? i can't make any promises that the paint won't get on you."

what if he's the last one i kiss?

a soft gasp left your lips. a small chuckle left harry, his face buried against your neck as he covered every inch of your neck in wet kisses. your hands buried themselves in his curls, tugging softly.

"lovey..." the warning tone in his voice made you giggle, allowing your thoughts to encourage him. tug. "don't tell me that i didn't warn you,"

a loud squeal left your lips as he hoisted you into the air. his hands finding their place on your waist your legs wrapping around his waist as he made his way towards your made bed.

what if he's the only one i'll ever miss?

"i don't want to go on tour,"

"then don't" you bluntly stated, a small smile tugging at your lips. harry just shook his head at you, chuckling at your statement. the brunette was currently packing all of his belongings from his closet that he had wanted to bring with him on tour, stuffing the last of his toiletries in a small bag.

"you know its not that easy-"

"i know, h. i'm just joking"

"but i wish you weren't... i don't want to have to miss you." he mumbled, running his fingers over the exposed skin on your torso.

today was the last day before he went back on tour, one of his biggest yet. while he was excited, the thought of leaving you behind still made him want to second guess himself. he was choosing today to take advantage of seeing you.

spent the morning cooking you breakfast, bringing it to you in bed where the pair of you cuddled and ate some delicious pancakes. and for lunch he insisted on cooking some pasta for the two of you to share, which was delicious.

and now as the sun was hiding behind the horizon, streams of purple, pink and orange coating half of the sky. you guys were in your favorite lounge chair, with his head on your lap watching the sun go down. your hands were running through his locks wanting to remember every second of this.

his lips.

his smile.

his dimples.

and even just his scent.

maybe i should run, im only 21

i don't even know who i want to become

"i feel like i don't have my life together, whatsoever. all i do is paint, and substitute teach like a couple times a week..i'm not doing what i wish i was doing. i just feel like i'm back in high school again. trying to kill time by picking up a job so i could at least make money and be bored."

"honey, if you're not happy, then why don't you just go out and try to find a job in what you like doing." harry's words sounded muffled over the phone, but the message was still clear. you nibbled on your bottom lip deep in thought as you were looking at your last paystub.

"it's not that, h. i just don't want to be a burden for you-"

i've lost all control of my heartbeat now

got caught in a romance with him somehow

i still feel a shock through every bone

when i hear an 'i love you'

cause now i got someone to lose

breath.

god damn it say it back.

stop looking at him like a fucking guppy.

"i love you too." a soft voice emitted from the tip of your mouth, feeling a warm sensation course through your body. you hadn't even noticed that your eyes had watered until a tear escaped and made its way down your cheek. harry's face lit up, bringing you by wrapping his arms around your waist. the warmth of your bodies pressed up against each other made the room 10x hotter, wanting nothing more than to remove your jacket and toss it across the room. the second your lips touched, you felt a small shock. like electricity making its way through every little vein in your body. allowing yourself to melt into his embrace.

that was the first time he had ever uttered those words and dear god if those were the most holy words you had ever heard in your life.

"i love you so much." harry mumbled those words onto your lips, his breath fanning your face feeling your knees buckled slightly as he tightened his grip on you. "are you glad i didn't say it months into us getting together?"

"i would have done it the first day if you let me," you teased, a rumble of laughter coming from harry who threw his head back in laughter. you joined in on his teasing, knocking into his shoulder. even though this moment was everything you could have ever hoped for and more.

there was the tiniest little voice whispering to you that harry could leave you at any second, and absolutely destroy you.

the first one to ever like me back

i'm seconds away from a heart attack

how the hell did i fall in love this time?

and honestly, i can't believe i get to call you mine

i blinked and suddenly

today was valentine's day, or as you liked to call it; one long ass anniversary day. you guys had officially been dating for over 3 years now, the best three years of your life. nevertheless, you were still terrified to see how harry would react to the gift you had made him.

that was your whole thing.

you love giving gifts.

absolutely loved it.

but you also took gifts incredibly serious. you just want everything to be perfect.

"before we went to dinner, i wanted to give you your gift. if you're okay with that." he chuckled, knowing you had been begging to shower him in gifts since you had woken up. but he wouldn't let you. he wanted to wait until after you guys had dinner.

you practically jumped into the air, almost breaking your ankle from your shoes. he just smiled at your newfound energy, practically vibrating from excitement.

"can i give you mine first?"

"absolutely you can, lovey."

after he had finished the first word you spun on your heels and made a break towards the couch. you would pay money to see what his expression looked him, as you proceeded to toss the cushions to the floor making small signs of approval as you found exactly what you were looking for. a small book; a beautiful leather cover that you had engraved yourself. h's initials were at the bottom of the spine.

"what in the world did you hide in the couch-"

his words were cut off by you spinning around with a nervous smile, showing the book to him. you felt like a toddler whenever they hold up something to their parents, a cheesy grin on their features. harry took the book from your hands as tenderly as he could, his fingers running over the intricate detail on the cover.

"love... wow. this is- this is beautiful. where in the hell did you find this?"

"i-i made it. i started working on it a couple months ago... i know how you're always trying to find new things to read. and to find inspiration for your songs. so i wrote you a book."

"you wrote me a book?!" the flabbergasted look on his face made you giggle. you went around the other side of the book so you could show him, turning the cover over so he could see that you had written it by hand. you had practiced over and over to make sure you didn't mess up the ink on the paper, or to ensure that you didn't misspell anything. "honey... i... my gift is gonna look like- i don’t- this is amazing. this is the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me. thank you so much, i love you so much"

"oh hush. and of course honey, it’s no biggie... i love you most,"

"well... i- i don't even know how to follow that up." you giggled at what he said, pressing a soft kiss onto his cheek. his eyes were doe eyed as he stared at your face in complete adoration. you noticed a small movement from his hand, flickering down to a small box he had in his left hand. "honey... i love you so much. you have been one of the best constants in my life. i've never been this happy; ever. seeing your face every morning when i wake up just further proves my point. i know that you're the last person i ever want to miss. the last person i want to have to kiss. you have made me into a better person. you taught me patience, and learning how not to take things for granted... and i really can't imagine being able to see you walk down the isle with anyone other than me."

"harry..."

he took that as his cue to drop down on one knee, his eyes brimming with tears. a small sob left your lips, drawing your shaking hands up to your mouth. he propped the box open, your eyes falling on the prettiest and daintiest ring you had ever seen in your life.

this can't be real.

"will you please... make me the happiest person on this planet- no... in existence and do me the honor of spending the rest of your life with me?"

breath.

a second passed by.

"i-what- of course! yes. yes! a million times yes!" you struggled to choke out, throwing your arms around the brunette who just let out a small cry as he held you tightly against his chest. he struggled to get the ring on with both of your hands trembling, small laughs leaving both of your tear stained lips.

and at that moment... your mind was silent.

there was no little voice.

no anxiety.

no second thoughts.

you knew. you knew that this is exactly as it should be.

i had a valentine

a/n: ahhhh! i haven’t written about the loml in forever, so please lemme know if you have any feedback. my requests are also open! feel free to spam me. thank you lovelies 🫶🏼