Fuck.

“Fuck.”

“Is this...Like do they really not know or?”

“Are they threatening us?”

“I’d prefer that to be honest. I don’t want to be the guy to break alien hearts.”

“Dude, I will make Jurassic Park happen if it means not telling them.”

Humanity receives a message from space. It reads:“So, what did the dinosaurs think of the giant rock collection we sent them?”

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Born and bred in southern Illinois and I can tell you, it’s a strange ass place. There are animals here that shouldn’t be here, bears and mountain lions and we know that black mass in the night was a panther. We know. Because if it was something else we don’t want to know.

We’ve made deals with the creatures in the corn. No one talks about it. No one would even believe you if you brought it up. But we have. They don’t bother you until it’s late at night and those couple idiots you’re not even sure you invited to this bonfire/tailgate/party in the corn decide they’re going to venture off.

The things that live in the soybeans, when there are soybeans, are more unsettling. Lurking beneath the green.

We are the only ones in Illinois in tornado alley. We are neither southern nor northern. Our weather is never the same for more than a few minutes and we get every extreme possible. The fog rolls in and it never leaves. Mention the weather, it’s fine. Do not ask for anything different. Something will hear you and it will not appreciate the request.

Irish people; The faeries aren’t real

Irish people; No fucking way will I go in that faerie ring

At 18, everyone receive a superpower. Your childhood friend got a power-absorption, your best friends got time control, and they quickly rise into top 100 most powerful superheroes. You got a mediocre superpower, but somehow got into the top 10. Today they visit you asking how you did it.

“Why in the fuck would you need to do that?” Crissy questioned, face twisted with utter shock. The box of bullets she’d picked up were quickly put back down, the metal inside rattling loudly from the impact, the heart decal seeming to vibrate. She winced but Cupid didn’t seem to notice or care as he picked up the black cap he’d placed on the table and started to drift further into the weapons vault.

“People are stupider than they used to be, kid.” The ethereal being answered as he made his way past several tables, fingers ghosting over options he ultimately decided not to take. Crissy hurried after him, tripping over her own feet in her haste not to be left behind. Even if now she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to be near him. “In the old days, people would see me, recognize me, and ultimately, most of the time, just let me do what I needed to do. People had sense back then. Nowadays everyone’s an idiot. They see a god/being/creature and they decided to try and capture him. Demand answers. Find what makes him tick.” Cupid stopped for a moment, hand clenched so tightly around another box of bullets that his knuckles had gone white and his fingers started to look gnarled. Crissy took a step back, wary of the sudden anger radiating off the immortal. But just as quickly as it’d appeared, it was gone, and he was back to rushing through the vault, picking up more and more as he made his way back towards the door. Once again, Crissy was left to jog after him, barely catching the words he shouted back at her. “That’s why the long range, kid! Gotta stay hidden!”

He was out of the vault by the time she made it to the door. The guard huffed at her as she stumbled out, sending a wave of chills down her back that she failed to ignore. He glared at her a moment before slamming the door shut, jolting her back into action. She turned and ran, sprinting towards Cupid who had made it to the end of the hall. The door he was beside radiated a dark light and the colors were off, like how a boat’s paint job looks when its been sunk for a long time. Crissy nearly ran into it trying to slow down but Cupid caught her, two deft fingers closing around her elbow and jolting her to a full stop without even moving the embodiment of love. He didn’t even look at her as he did it, too busy resecuring one of the straps of his vest.

“So where do I come in to all this?” Crissy questioned as she fought to get her breathing back to normal, lingering fear making her shake slightly. She had no clue what that guard was but he was definitely not someone she wanted to mess with.

In all his magical glory, Cupid shrugged. “No clue. But Boss wants you with me and I’m not questioning it.” Well. Wasn’t that helpful. Crissy pouted at him as he did one last check of his gear. When he was done, he reached for the door handle, stopping just short of grabbing it to look at her seriously. “Are you ready?” He asked her, eyes locked with hers. They kept changing colors on her, she could have sworn they were pink earlier and now they were so dark she couldn’t distinguish his pupils.

“Where are we going?” Her hands clenched and unclenched, her whole body bouncing slightly.

“Your realm, kid. We’re gonna go play with the mortals.”

“Gotta move move with the times.” Cupid said, Barret .50 BMG over his shoulder and wearing his heart decal’d black tactical vest. “I can make people fall in love at ranges of over 2200 meters now.”

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