19 May - Day 26

19 May - Day 26

I'm most excited to be able to not feel self-conscious. My body shape is kind of odd because I'm a pear shape with hip dips, short legs, and a long torso and "ciao so anyways." Nevertheless, when I lose weight, my chest shrinks, my collar bones and shoulders and neck look smooth and sharp, and my face thins right down. I look good in spaghetti straps and bikini tops, etc.

June me here: YES! THIS IS TRUE! I've lost almost 2kgs (seems like not a lot, but it is on me) since the 19th, and I'm already more confident and happier taking pics, etc!

11 May - Day 21

I'm at a weird in between place at the moment. My top is a medium, my leggings are a medium but medium is slightly too big, my jeans I'd say are a 34. Everything is different depending on what it is and where it comes from.

21 April - Day 9

The first person that I remember making a comment about my weight in a negative way was a girl in grade one. She said I was chubby in a cute way, but mockingly. She was thin and has stayed thin and sporty her whole life. From there, I noticed how my extended family commented negatively on other people's weight, family, friends, and strangers alike. They never directly commented on my weight, but when I lost weight, they started buying me clothing and taking me out.

I thought you guys were dramatising those bing3 dreams???

Like I ate something in my dream a few nights ago that I'd never even seen before, it was blue with a hard coating on the outside and a stiff marshmallow inside. And that's not even the first one😭😭

Also, I've had an ed for 5 years, and this has never happened before...

15 May - Day 25

I have purged before, in 2020. I had started gaining weight because my mom had forced me into recovery. I hated how much I was gaining, and I wanted to it to stop. The first time I purged, my gran had brought some banana muffins, I ate three without thinking, and then I realized what I'd done. I started panicking and rushed to the toilet, and tried to purge. To this day, I can't help but think of that moment. I continued for a few weeks to a few months, but I eventually stopped. I never purge anymore.

June me here, don't purge guys. There's only so much harm reduction you can do. Many of us thought we wouldn't even be here years later, but we are and have to pay the price of our younger selves who thought it didn't matter!

08 May - Day 18

My food weakness.. Usually, I'd say things like ramen noodles, ice cream, or chocolate. But I've been very good at saying no to those things recently. There was even sushi today, and I said no. Pizza is very hard for me to say no to. And starbucks drinks. Gin. Milkshakes. A lot, actually..