I Don't Know How To Ride A Bike And Unless I Have That Kdrama Moment Where I Learn From My Crush Or Something,

I don't know how to ride a bike and unless I have that kdrama moment where I learn from my crush or something, I'll never learn

I love The Legend of Zelda and I'm sure it's why I write a reincarnation narrative

When I eat Fruit Loops, I have to eat them in a color descending order (yellow, orange, red, green, then blue or purple)

Tagging

@lyutenw

@damekathearasi

@kazenokaori

@vinylandvalium

@risingshards

@reysfictionalworlds

@peakogreen

If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog :D

I thought I didn't like fashion but in reality I didn't like people imposing me things.

I hate mint.

I like drawing

Tagging...

@squarebracket-trick

@the-missann

@spendice

@personalanonymousrants

@littlewritersinspace

@blue-kyber

@roguelov

I'm such a 🤡

Pride Month is almost over and I wish I would have came up with this idea sooner so I could pan it out instead of shoving it all into one post.

Sigh

All is well however and I'll still do it before the month is over!

So, I wanted to let it be known that I sometimes write queer characters into my stories and I'm too much of a perfectionists to write them wrong. Days or research goes into each character who fits under the lgbtq+ umbrella.

So here I wanna detail some of these characters just to be sure I'm not getting anything wrong (of course I'm straight, so unfortunately there will still be some issues)

Brown and Pink

These two girls literally do not have a name because it's a unfinished story I have no ideas for lol. However, I have the plot "finished" in my head, it's just a matter of writing the story.

But, Brown is a IT major who has the biggest crush on a girl she sees around her campus. Not wanting to freak the girl out, she simply is her friend. However, Brown also has a crush on the creator of a queer webcomic artist. Not only does she love the comic, she loves the personality if the artist as well, so she lives an average college life until Pink calls her one day with a delimma.

Pink is super cute in my head, shes actually just a black uwu girl and I love it. (Btw, they're both black). Pink is also pretty shy and is often to herself, so when she calls Brown, she knows it has to be for something serious.

Pink explains she needs help because someone hacked into her "Webtoon" account and she can't log in anymore. Being bad with technology, she calls the only person she can think to help, which also happens to be the girl she's drawing the comic about. I think you know where this is going.

Mandy

This whole story is a satire, but Mandy is my attempt at a Pansexual. Mandy is brought into the story because she flirts with everyone. The main characters in the story are actually introduced to her when she approaches them at a park wondering if they'd be willing to go on a double date, she doesn't even care who she goes with out of group 1 female and 2 males. However, she's not just pan for no reason.

Her family isn't supportive of her in the slightest--even before she realized she was pan--so she acted out. Did whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted and at some point realized it wasn't just acting out, but apart of who she is. She truly has love for everyone in any form they come in.

This story also has abilities and powers, Mandy has the ability to see what others can't. I have a ghost character in this story and she's able to see him despite him being turning himself invisible, just to give you an example.

Ren

He is a character I often have as the twin brother of my MC Cassie. He's been gay since I can remember (he's a mad old character). His boyfriend originally was a "trap" since as a kid that's usually what I saw in Yaoi and BL, but when I got older, I didn't wanna fall into that stereotype too much and instead made his boyfriend a soft boi.

Ren is also very aggressive to somewhat combat the stereotype that all gay men are feminine and weak. I also added a personality trait that Ren is easily influenced by men, but that's to normalize him as, come on, anyone who's straight reading this, you mean to tell me you're not more swayed by someone you find attractive/your type? Come on, don't lie.

Ren more so acts as a normal sibling to his sister, but he just so happens to be gay.

Mari

Just because I talked about Ren, I have to talk about his boyfriend. As I said, originally he was a trap character, but I felt that was kind of... Gross for lack of a better word that I couldn't write a male character who appeared as a man in a gay relationship. It felt like I had to still write a "straight" relationship masquerading as a gay one.

But Mari is still super adorable. He's meant to be really cute and soft to contrast Ren's aggressive demeanor. He's passive, but can still stand up for himself and he's usually a voice of reason when Ren is being irrational.

Kit

These next two are the couple in an erotica I'm writing. With the first book drafted and the second in the works I can tell you a but about him without spoiling the story.

Kit is a hard working voice actor who's the absolute worst to be around lol. He's made to be very high strung and unbearable, demanding people do more work than they're already doing.

However, he's good at what he does so people still love him. Even when he comes out as gay, his fans still love him and support anything he wants to do. I actually love writing Kit because I get to be unreasonably annoying when I write him haha.

Also, their story was made after I got an idea about making a story with a "cat dude and a dog dude" they're not actually animals, they just have personalities like some. In this case, Kit is a cat personality and actually owns a black cat.

Phelan

Phelan is built to be the total opposite of Kit. He's kind, caring, charming, nice, and sweet. It's actually so healing to write him because he's so nice it almost bleeds into my life.

He's also written to never really take insults. Not because he's dense and can't understand them, but because he just doesn't really care when people insult him. Case and point is his boyfriend, Kit. From belittling to outright insulting, Kit has done and said every bad thing there is to say to Phelan, yet, the golden retriever can't seem to resent the black cat.

Phelan is actually very pursuant and tries his hardest to get into a relationship with Kit because... Well, if you ever read it, you'll find out why~

Side note, I wanna talk about his ethnicity. Because since Kit is meant to be a "cat" he's obviously a dog, specifically he owns like three golden retrievers. However, this made me imagine him as a white/fair skinned male; but when I was self-editing the story, he started coming off as some kind of poc. I'm not sure what group, but he gave me vibes of a poc. An example is that as a voice actor, he was asked by a friend to voice a character and almost everyone at that place is a poc (Black/African-American, Filipino, and Hispanic) so I thought "why would they invite some random white guy?" It just seemed to on the "checking the ethnic diversity box" and I'm sure some would assume I only included a white character because there just had to be one. Man I really wish I had a concept artist just to see what version of him matches more.

Gabe

I made the story he's in around the time I started to learn about trans people. The story's whole plot revolves around three kids coming of age in a ever changing world. Specifically, Cassie's plot is her coming to terms with who she is. Not a shy, introverted young girl but a passionate and determined young woman.

So, I wanted to represent her change in a physical manner and when I was learning about trans issues, I decided to add it as a physical showcase of her development.

Gabe is a trans man who wants to mentor Cassie after seeing some potential in her. While I'm not finished with the story, I do know there's a conversation I was going to put in there where Gabe reveals to Cassie he's trans because he feels she's going through a similar struggle he did as a child. Not feeling like he could properly express himself or identify in the way he felt most comfortable in.

And those are all my most prominent queer characters! I would love to add more, that would require me to learn more so I don't portray harmful stereotypes and can characterize them properly.

But, thank you for reading and I hope you can write well tonight or tomorrow; and...

Happy Pride Month!

So sometimes I feel so bad that I just wanna write a story about it.

In this case, it's about something that happened recently that I kind of want to add to normalities (some story I wrote).

You see, I'm friendless and have never had a true friend who just cares about me. I don't know if it's me or the world, but either way I'm in the group of people who always feels left out.

So, you have no idea how happy I was when 3 years ago I made a friend who had similar interests, hobbies, and was willing to hear me and my boring ass out.

However, that seemingly ended about a month ago now. Here I am really thinking it's my fault we fell out of our friendship, but I have to keep telling myself that it's not me.

Outside of our shared interests, we weren't on the same wavelength. I'm an introvert who needs to be alone every once and a while and he was more amibverted who liked being around people and talking for hours out of the day.

Even though we were both into video games, I happened to love the LoZ. He didn't. He loved Mario and I'm not the biggest Mario player.

Then there was the issue of my biggest hobby. Writing.

Sigh

You know, sometimes I hate writing because everyone is very intimidated by it. Either because they see it as a "difficult" hobby to be into or they simply don't want to care about a story you got at 3 in the morning.

In this case, I could tell I was pushing my hobby onto him and at some point I disliked talking to him because it always felt like I had to suppress my hobby to not annoy him.

I actually really do hate that I tend to people please. I never say what's on my mind and I instead proactively act different to be sure there's no discourse.

Again, I can see some of my issues and it's impossible to change myself. But it really hurts when you can never find anyone even close to the way you think act or feel.

Years and years have gone by and all of my friends have left me because I was too boring, I stopped being useful to them, or I simply couldn't be a friend to someone who doesn't care.

I'm just venting because I'm always in my feels at night.

Coincidences are the easiest way to get me to think of something, so...

Today's topic is getting up to write

Very specifically the challenges associated with not feeling up to writing.

Writing is hard as hell. Anyone who says any different obviously forgot their middle school essay they felt they couldn't finish in a week.

It's not easy to sit alone in a room for hours on end with just your thoughts. Personally, the only reason I'm not out of my mind insane is because I love this shit.

I enjoy detaching myself from reality and falling into my ideas or stories, but sometimes I get lonely. Sometimes I struggle and need some help, and other times I wonder:

Why the hell did I have to be a writer?

I despite writing sometimes and often feel like it's the worst profession right next to the one who cleans the crap in our sewers. That feeling overtakes me and I suffer from "writer's block" in reality, I'm not stumped on a story, I'm just tired of writing and annoyed at the lack of substantial progress.

So, my advice is this. Let that feeling exist. Don't try and pretend like you love writing all the time or maybe you're just a little tired one day. No, chances are, you're probably thinking it was the worst decision of your life to start writing seriously.

And that's okay.

Unlike other professions where you typically have people in your corner cheering you on, no one cares about your writing until you make something they care about. So let yourself be upset, take a break, do other things because when you finally remember that wip you abandoned, it'll welcome you with open arms.

Most, if not all, my stories came from something like this. Especially since I don't have people in my life who even care to acknowledge I'm doing work, this happens all the time, but I've been able to power through it by letting it happen.

You're not gonna love writing all the time, but the times you do love it, will be the most important moments of your life.

With that in mind, I hope you write well today or tonight.

Oh, I wanted to do a little mini world building, this'll be character building for my favorite relationship!

I actually drew this and was so proud of it since I love them so much 🤧

Cassie and Bushimaru from The State of Quandary, are childhood friends who both have insecurities that keeps them from dating.

It's nothing spolier worthy, so I'll explain.

Cassie usually suffers from anxiety and feelings of inadequacy so I just put it in here as a roadblock that makes her feel like she's not good enough for Bushimaru, no matter how much she likes him. Also, the nickname I gave him "Levi" is one she told everyone else to call him by, but she calls him Bushi because she didn't want anyone else calling him that.

Bushimaru is a slightly insecure young man who's struggled with body image. As a child, he was a bit on the chubby side, but as he grew up and with his training, he gradually became thinner and now he has a complex about it. He feels he's too skinny and will try to gain weight if his feelings get too strong.

Their relationship is really adorable, to me, because they both don't think they other would want to date them. They're aware they like each other, but they both feel like the other would be better off with someone else.

As kids, they were friends who really liked being around one another since Cassie doesn't like to be at home with her family and Bushimaru is subject to intense training he typically wants a break from.

Here's a little scene of their typical interactions

Overall, they're my favorite ship and I love doing stuff for them ☺

My love for Ateez is also my inspiration sometimes. They've helped me come up with a few ideas and this is just a example of what them as artists makes me do.

Btw, I love the Limitless MV

That feeling in the pit of your stomtch when you can't stand anymore, when you know things are over.

You try and get up, but your legs won't move, your head won't rise, your heart stops trying. A wave washes over you, thinking of the moments leading up to this failure. The sacrifices you made weren't enough and in the end, your loss came from the one person you thought you could take.

The tip of the glimmering metal forced you to look up and there you saw the face of the only person who knew exactly how to defeat you.