So Sometimes I Feel So Bad That I Just Wanna Write A Story About It.

So sometimes I feel so bad that I just wanna write a story about it.

In this case, it's about something that happened recently that I kind of want to add to normalities (some story I wrote).

You see, I'm friendless and have never had a true friend who just cares about me. I don't know if it's me or the world, but either way I'm in the group of people who always feels left out.

So, you have no idea how happy I was when 3 years ago I made a friend who had similar interests, hobbies, and was willing to hear me and my boring ass out.

However, that seemingly ended about a month ago now. Here I am really thinking it's my fault we fell out of our friendship, but I have to keep telling myself that it's not me.

Outside of our shared interests, we weren't on the same wavelength. I'm an introvert who needs to be alone every once and a while and he was more amibverted who liked being around people and talking for hours out of the day.

Even though we were both into video games, I happened to love the LoZ. He didn't. He loved Mario and I'm not the biggest Mario player.

Then there was the issue of my biggest hobby. Writing.

Sigh

You know, sometimes I hate writing because everyone is very intimidated by it. Either because they see it as a "difficult" hobby to be into or they simply don't want to care about a story you got at 3 in the morning.

In this case, I could tell I was pushing my hobby onto him and at some point I disliked talking to him because it always felt like I had to suppress my hobby to not annoy him.

I actually really do hate that I tend to people please. I never say what's on my mind and I instead proactively act different to be sure there's no discourse.

Again, I can see some of my issues and it's impossible to change myself. But it really hurts when you can never find anyone even close to the way you think act or feel.

Years and years have gone by and all of my friends have left me because I was too boring, I stopped being useful to them, or I simply couldn't be a friend to someone who doesn't care.

I'm just venting because I'm always in my feels at night.

I happen to be listening to a video about Tekken Music and I thought why not share this fanfic concept I wrote as like some 14 year old.

She desperately wanted to marry Lee... and Hwoarang... and Forest... and....

So, imagine,

Two young adults, madly in love, are living together in their father/future father-in-law's house. They steal all the money the father has been saving up and run off only to gamble it all away in a night. Knowing what that father will do to them both, they stay at the casino in an attempt to get all the money back. All before the weakened is over.

Well, this is the idea little Miss Ann wrote for herself and Forest Law 😷

All of this is actually me lol. I used to think I was doing writing wrong or something because I never outlined, just came up with an idea and wrote it down, but I could never finish anything because I never felt satisfied with ending the story. Like, I'm effectively ending my characters lives and that's not something I like thinking about.

Can you call something a work in progress if it's effectively done, but you keep opening the file to gaze lovingly at your characters and worry over whether this is really the very best you can do for them?

Why is this exactly how I feel >_< though for me it's more that I think I'm bothering someone by telling them about a wip. If only I could just think it once and everyone knew 🤧

as a writer, i feel like everyone should be able to read my wip telepathically — wdym i actually have to write??

Ugh

I'm starting to fall in my trap again. I'm trying not to fall into the mindset that "no one cares so don't do anything"

Just to keep myself from slipping I'm gonna try and contiune my world building series. (I was actually gonna post a small story about this world, but it wouldn't make any sense unless you read the full piece or at least knew something about it.)

The State of Quandary

I absolutely love this story and back when I first starting writing this, I subjected my friend to explanations about the plot and the characters.

So, this is a long post, be warned.

Oh, but I'll plug my story as usual, check out normalities if you have the time 👋

The plot revolves around a highschool, Holma High, < school colors.

The city the school resides in is littered with crime. Any you could imagine lives here and within this school perpetrates the next leaders, by essentially forcing students to join groups based on some form of oppression they face.

After I decided that, I wanted to make the school the hub and made characters to be the leaders.

So, I'll go through each of them.

Cassie and Fang are unaffiliated but at the start of the story they band together for an ultimate goal Fang has.

However, Cassie is an information specialist and is friends with nearly everyone in the school. If she's not friends with them, then she knows them and anything they get involved with. She also gives everyone she works with a nickname and that is invaluable at the school. Most use it as a sign if you're trustworthy or not.

Fang is simply a rebel rouser who attempts to defend anyone he feels is being wrongly harmed. He's prone to getting into fights and is known around the school for being a hot head.

As for the secondary characters, I'll go in order of their appearance. If you want more detail on them, lmk. I might make separate posts to detail their personalities and such.

Amirani

Pronounced (Ah-me-ra-ne)

(I also drew them so.... I'll post it, but don't judge too harshly 🙇)

Ami is the leader of the group ALTRAZ. It's meant to be a street gang that takes the rep for people involved in the wrong things. They also dismantle groups that are extremely violent. In addition to that, they are also "stationed" in prisons to break wrongfully convicted inmates out and to listen in on any police corruption.

Oh and here's Cassie and Fang

Bushimaru

Pronounced (Boo-she-ma-rue)

His nickname is Levi because I based his appearance on Levi from Obey Me! Sorry not sorry. He is the leader of a Yukuza style gang called Bakesama. I'm trying to learn Japanese and in my nonsense attempt to make a unique name, I came up with this. I took Bakemono (monster) and added the honorific -sama to essentially mean "Lord of the Monsters." Their group saying is "We are children of the earth. We respect those we share a world with; if not, then like the monster you are, you'll be sent back to where you belong." They go after anyone who cannot be tried under the eyes of the law or someone who gets away with a crime based on power, money or influence.

Danai

Pronounced (Dan-eye)

! Trigger warning for domestic and other forms of abuse !

A victim of childhood abuse from her father, Dani has a strong dislike for men and created a safe group for battered women, abused young girls and small children of any gender called Celestial Haven. She aims to catch "john doe" in the act by setting them up or outright exposing them. Her group also infiltrates the lives of the rich and powerful by dating or being the "sugar baby" of the individual. She made a safe space for women who have had any kind of violence or crime acted against them and actively turns men away unless they prove they're "one of the good ones"

Cecilia

I think this is a normal name lol

Cece is the head of the Costa Family which is a mob family. While she has many duties, her main goal is to eliminate anyone who unnecessarily puts her city in harms way. So drug and weapon trafficking are her main concern. She's friends with many high ranking officials including the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. Cece is known for her beauty and she uses that to her advantage, getting meetings with people who would otherwise wouldn't even look in her direction.

Emeryk

Pronounced (Em-mer-rick)

A young genius who at the age of 15 engineered a biochemical weapon. He doesn't really care who wants something made, his group is formed based on their desire to experiment and find new ways to old solutions. Their group is named the Chemical Compound, but they themselves don't often refer to themselves as so. Their desire is to learn and experiment on things no one else will. So if someone approaches them with a less than appropriate offer, if they take an interests in it, they'll help regardless of the problems that may arrise.

Now, onto the main antagonists.

This story does have a "man vs. Society" conflict, but it only happened because of these two:

Gavin and Jayvee Reller

Two of the most infamous individuals. Born as twins, by the time they were in middle school, they were controlling most of the city by their good looks and charm or by brute force. They both take any means necessary to get what they want and there's not a single person who wants to be on their bad side.

Gavin (left) is the older of the two (by two minutes) and is charming to a degree that's almost frightening. He's good with his words and has a way of understanding exactly how people act and feel just by speaking with them. Out of the two, everyone fears him the most.

Jayvee (right) talks more with his fists and is constantly used as their "muscle." However, he's not just brawn and has a similar manipulative streak about him. He uses his good looks against women to con them into doing what he wants. Anyone who doesn't listen, he makes it his mission to break them.

I made this story based on the feeling that the world I grew up in as a kid felt anxiety inducing. The internet was (and still is) a dangerous place for kids, the world was crumbling right before my eyes and it never felt like any adult could understand the fear I held for growing up or even going outside. I wanted to physically show that and I think I did a good job considering some of the things I heard from people as a kid.

Also, this is a manifestation of my love for True Crime and Psychology. So there's that too lol.

< The Demonic Repentance

> A Fourth Dimension Reality (TBA)

Let loose and let stories plan themselves

Here's something else that seems like I'm slowly losing my mind. I guess when I'm struggling, I distract myself with more work. It's not healthy but this is a good idea to me

So, I was gonna post this since I was already up at 3am yesterday, but I decided to get some sleep instead. Well-being +1

I have three stories that never went anywhere no matger how hard I tried to work on them.

One is about a unknown species that lives in the sky awaiting the day they can leave the sky to find their "human half."

The second was about a orphaned boy, living in a foster home with fiveish other siblings, that wants to be seen as normal at his new school.

And the last is the idea I got last night of a human who has the ability to tame monsters/creatures with just their voice or something like that you know?

So after spending an unhealthy amount of time plotting this idea I wasn't even sure about, it dawned on me that these three stories are perfect for each other!

You see, usually I don't "outline" how my stories connect or what I plan on happening. Past the main idea, I don't plot very much out. That works in my favor with stuff like this.

So here's the idea properly.

A trilogy of the strange and mystical world in which some people find stones that hold creatures that are their spirit. Sometimes these beings can be that person's human half, but they only reveal themselves when that person most needs it.

Residing inside of stones that appear no different than a pebble on the ground, once someone obtains a stone a whole new world opens up to them.

As they grow and get stronger, these stones can turn into crystals indicating the strength of the individual and their being.

The trilogy of stories would be as so:

Untitled prequel: Creatures that reside within the realms of the sky spend their lives waiting fir the day to go out and be with their human half on Earth. However, Quana is one without the easiest life as she hasn't gotten a sign her human needs her. Thinking there's something wrong, Quana sets out anyways in search of the human she knows she's supposed to be with!

Untitled main story: The world is pretty normal for Cassie right until the moment where she is confronted and told she attracts monsters with... Her voice? Not knowing anything about the foreign concept, she assumes she's just crazy until she's found by a creature saying she's her human half. Perhaps it's real after all.

Untitled Sequel: Years after the events of the last story, Cassie wants to help more than just the monsters of the world and sets up a foster home for both abandoned monsters and orphaned children. One boy who is sent to the house wants nothing more than to understand why he can't be normal like everyone else. Especially when he has a crystal that resides a being unlike the animals of their world.

Outside of me feeling like I'm losing my mind, one reason I like to tell people to not outline as much because it prevents organic ideas from forming. Stifled by out inherent nature to assume no one will like it or it won't work, ideas are often squashed before they can even have a chance to live.

In this case, these were three separate ideas that had nothing to do with one another, but I let them sit and eventually they formed something I'm interested even daunted to try out.

If you take anything from my weird post/rant it's to not say something can't work because you have no ideas for it.

That's fine, put it to the side and don't worry about it.

I tend to believe the human brain already knows what it wants with an idea, but it's just a matter of letting everything else show up too. To showcase that, I'll probably make another post to show how crazy it is that ideas I had as a 14 year old came back into this beautiful idea.

Thanks for reading and I hope you can write well today or tonight.