When Eileen Myles Wrote This Intolerable Sadness I Am Learning To Tolerate

when eileen myles wrote “this intolerable sadness i am learning to tolerate”

the most eye-opening thing i've read on the internet is: "you thought you were denied a thing when, in fact, you were spared of it."

and it's not just about that job you wanted or that item on sale that wasn’t the right size. it’s also about friendships, you know. you will always have a fallout with people who are not meant to stay in your life because they are just not right for you—no matter the intentions. you will grow out of relationships that gave you more anxious nights than peaceful mornings. your body will refuse to give you the energy needed to talk to people who can't be straightforward with you, and that's how you will eventually be spared.

but the human tendency is to try, try for things you care about until you don't, and then wish it didn’t have to be that way. until you realize that, yes, you were, in fact, being saved.

being anticapitalist with a strong work ethic is so fucking embarrassing like my managers don't deserve this

one of my favorite fucking feelings in the world is when you’re having a discussion with somebody about literature and themes and storytelling and etc or even just like, your feelings, and as you’re rambling on about the interpretation of something-or-the-other you have this lightbulb moment where two ideas connect in your head all of a sudden and you couldn’t have done it without the context of another person there and you both get so excited about this new theory you’re developing

like. collaboration. trust. complexity. awakenings. this shit isn’t just analysis, it’s art.