32 posts
Serotonin-archives - Bianca M Writes - Tumblr Blog
the most eye-opening thing i've read on the internet is: "you thought you were denied a thing when, in fact, you were spared of it."
and it's not just about that job you wanted or that item on sale that wasn’t the right size. it’s also about friendships, you know. you will always have a fallout with people who are not meant to stay in your life because they are just not right for you—no matter the intentions. you will grow out of relationships that gave you more anxious nights than peaceful mornings. your body will refuse to give you the energy needed to talk to people who can't be straightforward with you, and that's how you will eventually be spared.
but the human tendency is to try, try for things you care about until you don't, and then wish it didn’t have to be that way. until you realize that, yes, you were, in fact, being saved.
being anticapitalist with a strong work ethic is so fucking embarrassing like my managers don't deserve this
I feel like I pretended to be a functional adult who had her shit together and set her direction for her entire life from the age of 15 to 23, so I can afford to be a little stupid and a little lost now that I’m in my late twenties — kinda reclaiming the years I could have let myself mess around have fun and make mistakes
Decided to webbed weave a series of my favourite posts about an incredibly hard to swallow pill
UPDATE: Part 2 of this is here now
Anaïs Nin, from a novel titled "A Spy in the House of Love," published in 1954
when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”
One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.
one time a stranger on neopets years ago told me “school makes you think you have to be good at everything but sometimes it’s ok to just be good at one thing. even if it’s not something you get a grade for. they don’t grade you for being a good person” and tbh i still think about it little did i know all i needed this whole time was in glowing purple text and that icon of the goth fairy
This is for the people who didn’t party in their teens and twenties. For the people who didn’t have that “coming of age” movie experience with shenanigans and revelations. This is for the people who mostly keep to themselves. Who maybe prefer things to be quieter and gentler. This is for the people who don’t feel like they belong in a culture that values loud parties and flashing lights. I see you. And you are valid.
Shout out to my Arabic teacher that looked at us yesterday mid-lesson and said, “I’m worried. You all look exhausted and depressed.”
Of course we were all like, “Oh yeah we’re dead inside, you haven’t noticed?”
And he snapped shut the textbook, threw up his hands and said, “That’s not healthy! No more vocab! Time for dancing!”
And he taught us a dance from Iraq and we danced instead of doing vocab. We didn’t stop dancing until he saw all of us laughing and was satisfied that we were all feeling better. It was perhaps the coolest, most kind-hearted thing I’ve ever seen a college instructor do.
Shout out to my Arabic teacher that looked at us yesterday mid-lesson and said, “I’m worried. You all look exhausted and depressed.”
Of course we were all like, “Oh yeah we’re dead inside, you haven’t noticed?”
And he snapped shut the textbook, threw up his hands and said, “That’s not healthy! No more vocab! Time for dancing!”
And he taught us a dance from Iraq and we danced instead of doing vocab. We didn’t stop dancing until he saw all of us laughing and was satisfied that we were all feeling better. It was perhaps the coolest, most kind-hearted thing I’ve ever seen a college instructor do.
EDIT:
YOU GUYS MADE THIS POST ESCAPE THE TUMBLR. NOW I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO MY ARABIC TEACHER THAT HE’S INTERNET FAMOUS.
EDIT AGAIN:
It found its way to Facebook and someone tagged me so I gave up and just tagged him.
YET ANOTHER EDIT:
Apparently he’s chill with it.
I love you people going into "useless" fields I love you classics majors I love you cultural studies majors I love you comparative literature majors I love you film studies majors I love you near eastern religions majors I love you Greek, Latin, and Hebrew majors I love you ethnic studies I love you people going into any and all small field that isn't considered lucrative in our rotting capitalist society please never stop keeping the sacred flame of knowledge for the sake of knowledge and understanding humanity and not merely for the sake of money alive
we were meant to live slowly!!!! we were meant to savor moments and feel unabashedly lazy and frolic and smell the flowers and laugh with our entire hearts and love with our entire souls!!!!! don’t ever feel guilty for resting!!!!!! don’t ever feel guilty for slowing down!!!!!! enjoying life shouldn’t be something you’re ashamed of
one of my favorite fucking feelings in the world is when you’re having a discussion with somebody about literature and themes and storytelling and etc or even just like, your feelings, and as you’re rambling on about the interpretation of something-or-the-other you have this lightbulb moment where two ideas connect in your head all of a sudden and you couldn’t have done it without the context of another person there and you both get so excited about this new theory you’re developing
like. collaboration. trust. complexity. awakenings. this shit isn’t just analysis, it’s art.
“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you
they’re called. th. they’re called responsibilities bechause theyh keep fucking respawnjng
“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.”
— Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms
"You don’t tell people you’re not okay,“ she said, "because it’s hard watching them not know what to do".
"Then you end up comforting them, even though the one who needed comforting was you".
-Sue Zhao- Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #222