Interviewer : So, Dynamight, Have You Ever Had A Pet?

Interviewer : So, Dynamight, have you ever had a pet?

Bakugo : I've had a-

Shouto : He has a pet rock at home.

Natsuo x Shigaraki au :

Dabi : Dear diary, brother is a pre med and is very smart.

Dabi : Brother is also dating shigaraki and is therefore also very stupid.

Dabi : Dumb may be genetic. (See: hawks and I) Will do more research.

Dabi: Results : dumb comes from endeavor. Smart comes from mother. Females are somehow exempt from this gene.

When the villains arrive at USJ everything is quiet for a second, and then out of nowhere,

"what the actual HECK Tomura??!"

"....... I did not expect you to be here"

ok so hear me out: an au where like… baby izuku ‘saves’ afo

baby izuku (lets say hes like 5 yrs old here) is running away from some older bullies. he succeeds in getting away, but he ends up stranded in a neighborhood that he doesn’t recognize. it also looks kinda dangerous.

he tries to go back in the direction he came from but he was so stressed while running away he cant quite remember the turns he took.

while trying to find his way back, he sees a tall man in a suit being ganged up on by three guys way bigger than him. the guy in the suit doesnt look very strong, and izuku assumes hes just a normal businessman (the man in question is of course in no danger at all, but izuku is five years old and doesn’t really understand nuance)

of course, this is cause for concern to izuku

izuku runs up (with no sense of self preservation, worryingly enough), grabs the man’s hand, and pulls him out of the situation, which he is only able to do due to the stunned surprise of every person in the group (except the bastard in the suit, who had heard him muttering from the very beginning)

izuku pulls him a few streets down, the man in the suit sending a warning glare to the guys who had him surrounded (they are his subordinates after all) so they wouldnt follow him. once izuku is satisfied with the distance, he looks up and asks if the man is okay

afo looks at the bigass puppydog eyes and squishy cheeks of the baby child who thought he’d just rescued him and his heart does the grinch thing and grows a couple sizes

absolutely unused to this feeling, he asks izuku what his address is, teleports him there, then bounces

after spending a couple weeks getting himself together and creating a non villain persona, he begins to insert himself into izukus life because “cant you see kurogiri, the child needs to be protected!”

kurogiri kinda just glances at shigaraki

afo poses as a parttime counselor at izukus school, and gains izukus favor by never letting him get bullied ever

in this au, bakugou does not have a superiority complex. no, that is crushed before it can fully develop

over time, afo becomes kind of a surrogate father to izuku, and shigaraki a surrogate brother bc one year after kurogiri was sure that afo had developed one singular ounce of moral conscience he mentioned that izuku probably wouldnt like how he was treating his enemy’s child

afo makes a face of pure disgust but resigns himself to treating the shimura brat with a modicum of decency

how does inko feel about all this? well, afo is very good at acting and although she gets some Off vibes from him at times, he’s also the only person in their lives who shares izukus near obsessive fascination with quirks

that being said

for solidly the first three years, inko would not let them be alone together, for reasons that we all understand

but she grew comfortable with him too, eventually

when afo is not off committing villainy, he can be found hanging around izuku, the only source of positive emotion other than revenge

the only cause for concern to inko is that afo gives izuku some pretty expensive stuff and parttime counselors are not paid that well. given his formal demeanor and dressing habits tho, she just kind of assumes hes from a wealthy family

afo pretends to have moved away when izuku is nine bc thats when all might fucks up his face, but he still sends books and videos and games that he thinks izuku will like. izuku and shigaraki often meet up online and play video games.

so izuku grows up a lot more confident, and also learned how to fight from light sparring with his fake dad and brother, so hes not weak at all.

still quirkless, but all might changes that.

how do afo and shigaraki feel abt izuku becoming a hero? he can do whatever he wants. literally. whatever he wants

if izuku asked them not to kill all might theyre so fucking weak for him they probably would listen

Ok, so the cuffs are more of a personal thing since the lies are not necessarily about two people, but i can definitely see people accessories them, and like couples can definitely match.

Izuku being his son? 10/10 A+ he would definitely be more mellow and more.... i guess nighteye esque in his fanboying.

AM : my successor was foreseen by the previous One fo all holders and as such I do not have to worry about it and give Izuku ofa.

Gran : you are so lucky Izuku is as eager to be a hero as he is, otherwise you'd be so fucked.

Izuku learning better analysis ftom Nrdzu. That's enough to be said about that.

Also Aizawa? Man has informal custody battles with All might every day.

Hisashi : you two do realize you can share fatherhood over him right.

Midnight : shhhh the passive aggressive insults are just getting started.

As for all Might's fatherhood, i meant both? That man panicked ok? He had an epiphany about three years before Izuku's birth, and brought every single parenting book and planned to follow every single advice on there.... Until he actually met Izuku. From there he was a natural.

AU where you're born with one thing written on your wrist that everyone assumes about you, but is untrue. You may think this is an angst prompt about quirked and quirkless but I want you to imagine Izuku being born with All Might's Son on his wrist.

(Aizawa, 5 year old : mom why do I have 'father of 20' written on my wrist?

Aizawa, 35 year old : I don't have 20 kids, I have 21)

Eyyyyyyyy

Pro hero Shouto : *showing off an empty pedestal.*

Pro hero Shouto : And this is where My husband would keep his self preservation instincts.

Pro hero Shouto : *clenches fist* If he had any!

*Distant offended Pro Hero Deku noises*