So...lets Talk About Hela, Shall We?

So...let’s talk about Hela, shall we?

We all know that she’s basically a version of Baldur. Odin’s first born, perfect golden son. The blessed child of Odin and Frigg, but I’m thinking Frigga in the MCU never would’ve allowed Hela to grow up the way she did...

My theory is that Hela is the daughter of Odin and Freya, who was likely Odin’s first wife in the MCU who died at some point before Hela was locked away and he met Frigga, etc. I think that Freya loved her “perfect daughter” so much that he cursed her the same way she did Baldur in Norse Mythology. Making him immune to all things with only a single loophole left out, being mistletoe.

Odin likely would’ve made up the loophole just in case, because he was obviously paranoid about everything down to his own children’s intentions. Though, because of his love for her, he chose mistletoe because of its poisonous nature. If he suspected any sign of madness, or she committed an atrocity, he could’ve just poisoned her food or drink and let her die peacefully in her sleep. A merciful death to spare himself the act of having to kill her with his own hands, but when she inevitably grew bloodthirsty, he still couldn’t kill his own child (just as he couldn’t kill Loki) and locked her away in a prison all her own (much like how Loki was locked away in Mythology with Sigyn protecting him from the venom dripping serpent.)

My thoughts on what might’ve happened to her if she were poisoned could go one of two ways. She either would’ve died as any human would, or the spell keeping her invulnerable would’ve been broken and she quite possibly would’ve reverted to the “perfect golden child” that Freya was trying to protect. Meaning, blonde like Odin with creamy skin rather than pale and quite possibly less insane, because she would finally be able to feel again. Pain, anguish, all of it. She’d be normal just like every other Asgardian for the first time since she was a small child and it would be quite the humbling shock to go from this:

To this:

Because of one teeny, tiny little plant probably mentioned in Human legend in the MCU by Odin as a warning, should she ever return/escape upon his death or for some other reason.

Just thought this might be an interesting idea for any of you out there trying to figure out how to write a Hela x Reader fic without getting stuck.

How do people take short showers? Like I’m 5’8-5’9”, I have VERY long legs and I’m built like a Snoo-Snoo Amazon made of bricks. I have a lotta square footage to cover and that’s not even including my hair and skin routine. How fuckin’ small are other girls that they can get everything done in like 10 minutes...??

If I only had ten minutes of hot water, I’d be halfway through scrubbing one leg and might be done combing in my conditioner. I simply do not understand...

So, was no one gonna tell me that Sirius Black was only 36 when he died...? And 22 when he went to Azkaban...??? Or was I just supposed to do the math myself...? I am deeply hurt both by the fact that you people not only don’t throw out enough random HP facts/spoilers, but that you just made me sit down and do math. How dare you all...

Pieces of my Picrew Art (Part 3)

Scratch that, Dani’s a lying hoe

I wanna see negative effects of the Infinity Stones...hear me out...

The Power Stone obviously overpowers anyone of “a lesser strength,” whatever, I don’t care about wispy purple explosions...

And we all know what the Reality Stone does to a person, Jane Foster and her possibly getting cancer from it’s exposure to her body alone being exhibit numero uno...

I wanna see somebody take the Time Stone and be plagued with nightmares of atrocities throughout history. Past, present, future, shit that almost happened and the infinite possibilities that have yet to come to pass! The days, ways and exact moments down to the very second you or your loved ones are going to die and not being able to do anything about it! Just like the Ancient One in Doctor Strange! Be burderned with knowledge of time!

I wanna see someone snatch the Space Stone and accidentally make a black hole every time they get depressed or shift gravity around based on their mood- like floating off the ground every time they have a panic attack or being physically dragged down to the floor in a depressive episode. I want them to have dreams of neutron stars exploding or solar systems being born at the core of the Milky Way or any other galaxy.

With the Mind Stone, I want ya boy/girl to be cursed with the knowledge of other people’s thoughts. Good, bad, ugly and down right disgusting. You have somebody stalking you? You now have to hear everything they’re thinking about doing to you, but do you know where they are? Probably not. And if you think that’s bad, imagine never being allowed to forget a single detail of your entire life or the details within the memories of others. For example, your mother’s possible turmoil in debating whether or not she was going to keep you. Or your Dad contemplating whether or not he wanted to be a father or take his chances on the run. Or perhaps even a former babysitter who thought about killing you when you were little.

You wanna take a moment to get weird and think about the ramifications of the god damn Soul Stone...? Because I wish I hadn’t. Can you imagine being the only human in the world who could genuinely see ghosts? Who could likely control the Ghost Rider and maybe even cure his madness...? Being the only person in the history of the world to hold the power of life and death in your grasp? Having to see ghosts trailing behind their loved ones, trapped on the mortal plain with unfinished business and you can’t acknowledge them or you risk being haunted by a spirit begging you day and night to bring them back...? Or to take revenge on their behalf...? You would essentially be taking on the jobs of Charon, Hades, Thanatos and Cerberus all at the same time and that sounds like a particularly shit occupation, because let’s not forget about the Ghost Rider’s boss. The literal Devil himself who would more than likely try to murder you for the Soul Stone to get his revenge on the One Above All (who is God in the Marvel Universe) which would likely then bring on the apocalypse! The Biblical End of Days, because you gave Red Skull the finger and killed a loved one!

I really, really wish I hadn’t just spent the last four hours thinking about this, but I had to share or I was gonna scream...I’m not sorry...