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i really hate coming out but still want my extended family to know, so my mother took it upon herself to invent the game “guess which one of my kids is gay.”

the rules are simple.

sit down with uncle so-and-so

he says something about gay people in passing

my mom says “there’s a gay person at this table right now. guess which of my kids it is!

he looks frantically between the three of us trying to figure out if she’s joking or not and trying desperately not to offend anyone but also she won’t continue with the conversation unless he makes a guess so he has to make a guess

we all enjoy his discomfort immensely

Quack, damn you!

Jamie Hyneman Mythbusters

“available with premium subscription” “will be removed on the 31st” “available free with ads” “rent 4.99 buy 20.00″ “not available in your country” “not available on this device” what if every streaming service fucking killed itself and films ran around their fields free and organic in their natural state

Dangerous times favor dangerous men.

Reblog if you understand and have felt the pain of your glasses never being clean no matter how many times you wipe them

Sherlock Holmes (2009) dir. Guy Ritchie

As someone who wholeheartedly subscribes to the “book! Watson is an unreliable narrator” theory my ideal Watson is actually a blend of David Burke and Edward Harwicke’s Watson’s in the Granada series and Jude Law’s witty, snarky, combat proficient Watson in the Downey movies (even if I do dislike Downey’s version of Sherlock, Jude Law’s Watson amuses me greatly). Basically, I like the thought that Watson waters himself down quite heavily in his writings and everyone who actually knows him is like “you’re never this polite to me” or “didn’t you stab this guy in the leg?” and in Sherlock’s case: “you never fainted when I came back from the dead you punched me and broke my nose”

“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

HAPPY BDAY TO CLIVE MERRISON THE SHERLOCK HOLMES' VOICE !!!

Tell me it isn't the perfect summary of their relationship...

"old friends" is an underrated relationship dynamic because it's such an innocent boring sounding term for what is usually some of the wildest shit imaginable. it's always like 'oh yeah we go way back, we have history' and then you find out that history includes sex, drugs, murder, divorce, war crimes and The Incident

Text: My new client’s eyes are a little too black, his teeth a little too sharp. I assure him right to counsel is a human right, and he looks even more worried.

“You know I cannot possibly leave London while old Abrahams is in such mortal terror of his life. Besides, on general principle is it best that I should not leave the country. Scotland Yard feels lonely without me, and it causes an unhealthy excitement among the criminal classes.”

 - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax  

Albus Dumbledore: Would you still love me after death?

Gellert Grindelwald: You think that death can take you out of this relationship?

these new bots are NOT OK. Them having actual tumblr names is giving me psychic damage. I feel like curling up in a corner and crying.

yesterday "remainingforefinger" followed me and the fact that this ISN'T a nonbinary autist from Poland who works as a dentist's assistant, but A BOT, makes me want to SCREAM.

I'm a little depressed about the fact that bees get more sleep than I do.

love how tumblr staff has time to censor words like “paint mixing” and “my face” and yet they can’t get rid of ssexsophie8127 thats been liking my posts from 2017

This guy raised an abandoned moose calf with his Horses, and believe it or not, he has trained it for lumber removal and other hauling tasks. Given the 2,000 pounds of robust muscle, and the splayed, grippy hooves, he claims it is the best work animal he has. He says the secret to keeping the moose around is a sweet salt lick, although, during the rut he disappears for a couple of weeks, but always comes home…. Impressive !! MINNESOTA CLYDESDALE