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— Donte Collins

i know someone who works in conservation, who on the side has a large outdoor aviary and roughly 20 rainbow lorikeets they’ve taken in as they’ve been dumped/unwanted gifts or long-term pets/pets that have been released/etc, and she’s very knowledgeable and keeps them in great condition

i love seeing them though because we have a terrible and hilarious game. in the aviary i will be leaving out fruit skewers and things for them, and then i’ll dramatically lie on my side and pretend i died. it takes about 5 minutes, and then there’s an entire flock of lorikeets climbing on me, squeaking, nibbling and investigating.

the next part of the game is popping up my head and going “boo!” which is where the real fun begins, because the little rainbow nightmares jump, and then get delighted and start happy squealing and bouncing around (and chewing because they truly never stop)

while we all love this game, ive been cheerfully informed from the outside it looks even funnier, because it looks like I’ve been jumped by a group of lorikeets and they won

The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil

it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

whenever i see another tiktok girlie talking about how she wishes to have been a fangirl in 2010s i feel like a seasoned veteran overhearing a foolish youngin boasting about wanting to go to war for glory and adventure. you naive little idiot. you know nothing. you understand nothing. you weren't there in the trenches. i have seen things, terrible things. i cannot plug in my phone charger at night without being plagued by the visions of Him

crawling out of august covered in blood

it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed

Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.