HAPPY PRIDE MONTH

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH <333

in honor of pride month im going to say my ninjago pride hc’s :D 

also please stay safe y’all <3

Ima go oldest ninja to youngest ninja :P (hc age, also speaking of hc, please remember that these are all headcanons. i’m only saying i think that these fit the characters. i’m not saying you have to agree, this is just what i think.)

Zane - Agender, Polyamorous, pan, + i think he’d maybe use neos (he/they/ze)

Cole - Gay, polyamorous, cis (he/him)

Kai - Demi boy, omniromantic, asexual, polyamorous (he/they)

Jay - Bigender, bisexual, asexual (he/she)

Nya - Lesbian, demi girl (they/she)

Lloyd - Genderfluid, aroace, biromantic (She/They/He)

ps pixal bc i love/p her sm <33

Pixal - Agender, lesbian (she/her)

:3

-Ar

your even more silly!!! >:)

The burning Fate

Post Seabound/season 15

Warning - Attempted suicide, cursing, past overdosing/drowning (attempt), self harm, implied eating disorder, self gaslighting

Heads up -

 - i hc lloyd as Genderfluid, in this their pronouns will be they/them

- Lloyd and brad are dating (brad is two years older then lloyd- so it’s not illegal or smth and like also lloyd is 17)  also Brad is this kid who was in like season 1 and he went to darklys with Lloyd :)

- i hc Lloyd and autistic, i kinda hint to it in one part (also im not autistic- but i have autistic friends, and if i do smth wrong ever, pls tell me)

- also im not saying if you have any mental disorder or smth your stupid- just ppl think that, when your rlly not-

 - also i have no idea how to comfort- and idk how to write i either- so yea-

Lloyd has been up on top of this building for about an hour. An hour numbly looking down below into the busy street as the darkness surrounds them. Some lights flash into their faces from time to time. But it doesn’t matter to Lloyd, this will be their last few minutes.

Ever since Nya left Lloyd's life has gone back to hell. First of all, Kai and Jay will always be yelling at each other, no matter how loud Lloyd made the music, they could still hear their older brothers yelling at each other. Most of the time it'd just get to the point where it was too much for Lloyd and they just couldn’t hold it anymore and cry, they couldn’t help but get overwhelmed by it all. It’s all their fault though. It’s their fault. They're a horrible leader. Nobody wants a stupid, disabled kid to be their savior.

After nya left the ninja, Lloyd also started to relapse… just like after the sons of garmadon and harumi. They locked themself in their room all the time, never coming out. Not eating, and they would get the extra razor that they have to… hurt themself. They have the scars all over them, not just their wrists. Their thighs, shoulders. Just really anywhere that they can hide it. Where they can hide how hard everything really was for them. They had to  hide, they couldn’t be seen as weak. They’re the green ninja, they’re the one who has to protect everyone.

This isn’t the first time they tried to kill themself.. Lloyd thought as they looked over the edge of the tall building. A month after Nya left them to merge with the ocean, they tried to drown themselves, but Kai tried to find them and stopped them before it was too late. They were forced to stay in the mental hospital for a few weeks, it wasn’t because the ninja thought that they were psycho or anything. Just they tried to kill themselves. When they got to be sent back home, they snuck out one night. No word or anything. And just ran away. So they’ve been living with Brad, Gene, and Sally for about 7 months.

The other time Lloyd tried to end it all was after they moved in with brad. They got a lot of pills and just chugged them all down, it worked. But Sally found them passed out on the floor, and called the ambulance before Lloyd actually died. After they were sent home, Brad kept a close eye on his lover.

Lloyds honestly is kinda embarrassed and disappointed in themselves for failing twice to kill themselves. Well… is it them..? because really, they could’ve done it, but then people keep finding them. They should really try to do it when no one is around or anything. But hey… no one is around right now… just five more simple steps.. and all the pain will be over, they’ll no longer feel the stinging sensation in their arms or thighs after this. Because they’ll be gone. Just like everyone always wanted. For the blonde brat , that was Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon, to be dead.

Funny thing is right now they're not even fully blonde. They dyed their pink with red tips. It makes them think of valentines though, not going to lie. But does it matter? no. Nothing matters. Everything is all useless. All that matters is that in a few seconds, they’ll be free. Free from being the green ninja, free from being the leader and the reason your team fell apart. Free from destiny. Maybe that’s why they’re still alive. Because destiny needs a puppet to pick sticks at, to try to entertain itself. Fuck destiny, man. Fuck it.

Lloyd lets their mind wander as they take one step closer to the edge, one step closer to death.

They think about when they went to The Wailing Alsps, with Clancee. This snake pirate, who was very familiar and lloyd feels like they’ve seen before. And it wasn’t just because of when the whole thing with chen was going on.. some other time… A time Lloyd can’t put their finger on. But anyways When Lloyd and Clancee went to the wailing alsps and almost died, they thought of kai. How Kai was always there for them, and was like the brother and father Lloyd never had. Lloyd is the one who’s leaving, just like last time. But… this is what Kai wanted… The night Lloyd ran away they and Kai got into a fight… Not Jay and kai. But Lloyd and Kai.  It was in the heat of the moment when Kai yelled that he wished he never saved Lloyd from that volcano. Which right after Kai realized what he said to lloyd. But it was too late. The damage was done.

Four more steps…

Three more steps…

Fuck it all. Lloyd thought.  Fuck. Destiny can go find some other blonde bitch to do its bidding.  In Lloyd's last few seconds they just felt rage. The closer they got to the edge the more they got angry.

The last few years their anger has gotten worse. But it gives Lloyd something to think about. It lets Lloyd actually feel something. Sometimes it’s like they're not angry at all, but the next they’re fuming. Like right now.

Like how right now just the thought of Garmadon makes them want to go smash their “fathers” face into a fucking wall. Or Harumi. Definitely Harumi. She messes everything up and then just goes and dies just like that. At least she’s out of their life. even if they can never stop thinking about her… Or the version of Harumi in The Prime Empire game Lloyd and the other ninjas were trapped in.

Lloyd took a deep breath in through the noise and out the mouth.

Taking another step closer.

Two more steps…

One more step…

Lloyd looks all the way down. Heh… So this is it.. The end of the line. Maybe i’ll get to see my real father.

Just as Lloyd took the last step they swore they heard the door slam open to the top of the building… and some yelling..? But all Lloyd could feel now was the air in their face, the wind messing with their hair. And… It stopped…? did they fall that fast to the ground..?

No…no… No! why.. NononoNO!

They feel a hand gripping tightly on the wrist. A familiar voice yelling for them to stay. A sound that is almost like someone sobbing..?

Lloyd hazily looks up to the person who’s stopping them. Only to see Brad, His eyes red and bloodshot, Tears running down his face as he finally manages to pull Lloyd up. Brad falls to the ground and wraps his arms around his partner. Sobbing and hugging them tightly. Lloyd gets some anger inside of them because Brad stopped them. But they can’t help but just stare blankly as Brad sobs that he almost lost lloyd.

“I-I…”

Lloyd tries to get anything out to brad. But they can’t. They just feel numb again, as Brad holds them.

After a few moments Brad gets it under control and wipes at his eyes. He then stands up and tightly holds Lloyd's hand, it doesn’t hurt. But it doesn’t matter. Brad waits for lloyd to stand up before they say

“I… I love you… I’m sorry.. I’m sorry Lloyd.”

Brad doesn’t seem to know what to say at this moment. I mean… What can you say after you find your partner almost killing themselves…? ‘Why?’ ‘What about me?’ ‘Don’t leave?’ ‘People are going to miss you’ ‘I will miss you’ No… None of it seems right… Brad just stays quiet and looks down at Lloyd, love in his eyes.

He hugs Lloyd again tightly and then lets go. Tightly holding Lloyd's hand.

The door to the top was still open from when Brad came running up here to get to Lloyd before it was too late.

Brad closed the door and walked down the stairs with lloyd.

Lloyd just blocked everything out and thought… They were almost free.. Free from it all. But they couldn’t have it. They can’t die apparently. Damn. Destiny really doesn't want Lloyd to die.

Fuck.

Why are y’all so upset with lloyd in crystallized and how he treats garmadon and harumi? it makes sense-

!! ninjago season 8/sons of garmadon, season 16/crystallized spoilers !!

also btw this is not a ship with lloyd and harumi- it’s toxic and i don’t ship it.

ok so, i’ve seen a lot of hate towards lloyd in the season crystallized- and it doesn’t entirely make sense. I think that he actions and the way he dealt with everything made perfect sense for lloyd’s character and who he is and all. 

Because in crystallized you see lloyd like wanting to be with harumi, wanting to like make it good and just all of that. But yet with garmadon, he keeps yelling and him, and just overall acting very mad and upset with his father.

But it is understandable for lloyd to act this way. 

So with Harumi, it’s called that is literally the example of a toxic relationship. Because lloyd wants to see the best in harumi, he’s trying to make them both believe that she can be good. Because what he wants is that harumi who was fake, the harumi who pretended to love him, who cared for others, who was nice. He just simply thinks that harumi doesn’t want this, which she doesn’t entirely want, so he is correct- but still, there’s that part of harumi that does want this. But lloyd doesn’t want to believe it, he just wants the “old” harumi back. 

Then with garmadon… i’m sorry but i don’t understand why you all think he should trust garmadon again. While yes, i said it makes sense for harumi. But that’s a toxic relationship. This is his father. Lloyd loved his father, when he was a kid he strived to be like him. After though, learning that lloyd was to be the green ninja. Garmadon left. From lloyd’s perspective he keeps seeing garmadon leave him, time and time again. In that episode in season 8/sons of garmadon, when lloyd went to fight him. He thought he could get his father back. But this garmadon hurt lloyd, remember how garmadon literally said to lloyd ““I have no son” then threw him though a wall then almost killed lloyd’s friends? Yea. That affects someone. I would hate my father too if he did that to me too. The later, time and time again, garmadon shows no care for lloyd. Unlike harumi, who manipulates lloyd into him thinking she loves him. With garmadon, he doesn’t show that love and care to lloyd. He shows hated and disappointment to lloyd.

So basically, in short. Lloyd tries to give harumi a second chance because he wants her to love him again, and she has literally manipulated lloyd into feeling things and just used him. Causing lloyd to act like this. Showing that they have a toxic relationship.

With Garmadon. Lloyd has tried to give garmadon a chance but is always hurt in the end. In crystallized, lloyd is simply done with doing that. His father hurt him, and lloyd can’t forgive him anymore. 

also im dyslexic so if i mess anything up pls don’t be mean abt it :’)

Green cousins rant

So I was thinking abt lloyd and morro and just ya. I rlly just wanna talk abt their relationship and stuff

!!NOT SHIPPING. NO SHIPS. GO AWAY GREENWIND SHIPPERS.!!

also i have like no motivation to write the second part of the greenflower/we drank the poison from the same vile fanfic but i will try to write it soon, im really sorry for the wait- 

more under the cut!! :P

so basically as a fandom we have made Morro, Wu’s adopted son, and so that makes him like yk lloyd’s cousin and so ya.

I just wanna like talk about how I see there show relationship VS movie relationship-

So basically for the show I like made the super angsty hc that during possession when Morro had Lloyd and stuff i just like hc that he abused, and starved lloyd, and like deprived him of general human needs.

 I saw a post a few days ago tho that made me think abt the hc- and like the post questioned if people hc that morro did that to lloyd for the sake of angst or if they generally believe it. And to respond to that post, I honestly just kinda hc for the sake of angst- lol

but back to topic- I just like hc that show Lloyd is deeply traumatized from morro and his possession and has made bad responses and reactions post possession. Like panic attacks, breakdowns(i’m dumb- but like what’s the difference between a panic attack and break down-?), and just idk t r a u m a ig. So ya, like for show universe I feel like they’re relationship isn’t good bc like morro is like lloyd’s abuser and so lloyd’s scared of him.

NOW! with movie universe, i feel like they have a good relationship and are like actual cousins and not like morro is really abusive and toxic, i just feel like movie au theyre a lot more wholesome and actually friends.

Because like in the show morro was so blinded by jealously and wanted to be the green ninja so much, but i feel like in the movie the green ninja prophecy wasn’t something important, i mean it may not have even existed so ya- so i just feel like morro was a lot nicer to lloyd.

Like him and lloyd would come to each other’s places and have fun and tease each other like actual happy, friends/cousins. idk- lol i’m bad at writing my thoughts

just basically i feel like movie!green cousins are super wholesome and nice to each other and morro would do anything for his little cousin but show!green cousins are like-… you know

Heya! I'm the greenflower request sjxnks

I really don't have preference

But you can make something connecting with when they live in Darkley, like, Brad or Lloyd remember something similar happened in their children's

Maybe after the s8, or any season after s8 likee s10 or s15

Ok! :D also i realized like a sentence or two before I finished it that I didn’t really have lloyd sick- i was more focused of hurt/comfort and like darklys and all- im really sorry, if you want I can do a part 2 where it focuses more on lloyd being sick, again i’m really sorry. But i hope you enjoy and also if you do end up disliking this fanfic please tell me and and I can always remake it- so the fanfic will be under the cut and also if you do not know, I am dyslexic so to anyone reading, please don’t be rude or mean if I misspell anything wrong or phrase stuff wrong, you can always politely tell me and I will gladly fix it, please and thank you! :D

Heads up

This is after seabound/season 15

I hc that after nya left lloyd ran away to live with brad in a apartment so that’s where lloyd is :)

This takes place after the burning fate oneshot :P

Trigger warning

Suicidal thoughts

Cussing

Depression

Implied Self harm

Implied and mentioned Child abuse(different parts)

Mentioned Suicide attempt

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and I Drink The Poison From The Same Vile

The rain was falling around Lloyd as he blankly looked over the balcony and into the busy streets on the busy city. He often stood here, just wondering what would happen if he jumped off and ended it all… would anyone miss him? No. No one would. 

He was letting him tired mind wonder in this moment of sorrow. He thought about many things… Nya, The others, His parents, Master Wu… He was thinking about it. How this was all his fault. If he wasn’t the fucking green ninja none of this would’ve happened. Nya would still be here if he wasn’t a shitty leader or friend. 

He wonders how different life would be if he hadn’t gotten kicked out of Darklys… would Nya still be here? Yes. She would. Because then Lloyd likely wouldn’t have become the green ninja and so she wouldn’t of had the sacrifice herself for his stupidity. 

Hair falls in his face but he doesn’t have the strength to move it… he’s so tired and his wrists sting so badly and he’s so fucking tired form being unable to get sleep without having night terrors. But he deserves it, does he not? He doesn’t deserve to be content and happy in life. Not after he was the reason Nya, his (adopted) sister, is gone. 

Everyone probably hates him. Why hasn’t Brad broke up with him? He’s a monster. He killed his own sister. All he does is kill. His father, Harumi, Zane with the overlord, Morro, and… Nya. He could’ve saved all these people or taken their place and things would’ve been so much better. But no, their paying the price. The price he deserves, not them…. Okay maybe Morro does deserve to die… but… Even if he did hurt Lloyd so much, Lloyd still feels sick thinking like how Morro does. 

“You’re going to get sick like this, Lloyd…”

The sudden voice made Lloyd jump and he quickly looked back into the apartment balcony door to see Brad, his boyfriend, give him a worried look… Lloyd still can’t get that look out of his face from when Brad “saved him” from committing. The absolute terror and sadness Brad had in his eyes that day… it as only a couple of weeks ago. Lloyd feels like a absolute dick for making Brad so worried. He’s such a burden for Brad. He should just jump. Maybe this time nothing will be in his way and he would make Brad so much happier.

Lloyd flinches a bit when Brad took Lloyds hand in his. Gently intertwining their fingers and giving Lloyd a soft smile. He gently pulled Lloyd into the apartment and closed the balcony door behind him. Brad pulled Lloyd to the couch, which Lloyd followed him with hollow eyes that kept their gaze on the ground. 

Lloyd didn’t say or do anything as Brad sat him on the couch with a soft but worried expression. Ever since Lloyds last attempt Brad has been even more protective and watchful of Lloyd. 

His dull green eyes looked up to see Brad walk into their bedroom and walk out with a blanket a second later. When Brad walked up to Lloyd he draped it across his shoulders and Lloyd looked to the ground as Brads soft blue eyes tried to lock with his.

Brad gently sighed and plopped on the couch next to his blonde lover. The blue eyed boy wrapped his fingers around the green eyed boy’s. A look of love was on Brads face as he looked at the beautiful blonde. 

“Do you want to talk about it Lloyd…?”

Brad tried to tilt his head so he could be in Lloyd’s field of vision but Lloyd turned his head to the side so he couldn’t look at brad. Lloyds shoulders tensed and he shook his head.

Brad was upset but he knew it would only get better if Lloyd talked about it, he gently squeezed Lloyds hand in his and rubbed his thumb across the back of Lloyds hand as he said in a soft voice.

“Please, I just want to help.”

Lloyd knew that Brad wouldn’t stop until Lloyd told him what was bothering him so Lloyd just sighed and leaned onto Brads side and whispered with his voice filled with guilt.

“I was thinking about Nya… and how different things would’ve been if I was never kicked out of Darklys. Like… would I still be the green ninja? Would Nya still be here? Just so many questions….”

Brad flinched as Lloyd mentioned Darklys, the place was hard for them both. But especially Lloyd. The teachers knew how good Lloyd was so they thought that beating it into him would “fix” him. It didn’t. It just made him more traumatized. 

So, Brad thought for a moment of how to respond to Lloyd. He wrapped his arm around Lloyds shoulders and kissed his cheek, Lloyd glanced at Brad with that but then looked away. Brad understood how much pressure Lloyd put on himself… so he didn’t mind. He knew Lloyd loved him.

“Lloyd… I think, in full honesty, being kicked out of Darklys was honestly the best thing for you… I don’t think you would’ve… I don’t think you would’ve survived. They were so brutal, and to you the most. You… You were so skinny and always had cuts and bruises… And with Nya. That wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s. Nya choose to do that, and I don’t think she would want you to blame yourself for her decision.”

Lloyd sat quietly thinking about it, he laid his head on Brads shoulder as he looked up at Brad. He tensed when Brad mentioned how harsh Darklys was… he understood why Brad thought that, but maybe just give Lloyd a few years and he would’ve been just like his father in that hellhole. 

Then he thought about what Brad said about Nya, and how she wouldn’t want him to blame himself. Now, he can see that. But that doesn’t stop him. He feels like a failure, and that’s never going to go away. He’s the leader. It’s supposed to be his role to keep everyone safe, and he failed. He couldn’t save her. He quit when she needed him most…. ninja never quit? Well he must not be a ninja then. 

Brad carried his fingers through Lloyds soft blonde hair, and kissed his forehead. Lloyd felt like melting at the affection. But at the same time he felt like yelling at Brad and telling him to stop, Lloyd doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve Brad. Or anyone for a matter of fact. 

Instead of doing anything though Lloyd just laid in Brads arms. He was still a bit wet and shaking from standing in the rain… Brad was right, Lloyd would get sick… great. 

He wrapped the blanket from Brad more around himself and then sneezed. His noise started to leak and Brad playfully rolled his eyes and joked to Lloyd.

“Now, what was it I said about you getting sick by standing out there?”

Lloyd just whined in response and Brad playfully rolled his eyes. He stood up and handed his hand out to Lloyd as he smiled to him.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up.”