Tw/sh Talk

⚠️Tw/sh talk ⚠️

I want to cut so bad but also I don't want to move

I don't want to undress to find perfect place

I don't have energy to look for razors

I don't have energy to wait for cuts to stop bleeding

I don't have energy to hide those cuts

I don't have energy to cut

I just don't

About that ^

My lungs are fucking fine.....

So now it's time for a train

I am going to the doctor tomorrow for a little control after being ill (yes, it was covid) and if she checks my lungs and they will be fine then idk man...I will jump in front of the train to see if I am unbreakable because man I am a smoker

I wanna disappear

Are we even friends ?

I don't expect you to text me everyday but once in a while will be enough

I don't want to be the only one to start the conversation

If I don't start there won't be any

"If I stop texting them first I'll never hear from them again"

And asking me questions to get to know me is so hard ?

Giving me this kind of hope for anything

I don't want that

When I catch myself smiling at your texts I want to bump my head on the wall, to kick something just to get rid of this feeling

I don't want to get too attached (I probably am already)

Take it from me

Today someone said that I am beautiful...

I didn't know what to do

I just blushed and murmured "thank you"

But it doesn't mean I believe her

No

I was just polite

I'm not beautiful

I'm ugly

Do you ever think of visiting a Psychiatrist? I use Tumblr for venting too but I might need someone to actually talk to. No idea if this will help or stress me more but this idea comes up a lot recently

I had a psychiatrist and psychologist but I gave up on them after seeing their help wasn't helpful

But without visiting one you won't know if he/she helps you

Some people find comfort in those visits and maybe it will help you too

Try it