Are We Even Friends ?

Are we even friends ?

I don't expect you to text me everyday but once in a while will be enough

I don't want to be the only one to start the conversation

If I don't start there won't be any

"If I stop texting them first I'll never hear from them again"

And asking me questions to get to know me is so hard ?

Giving me this kind of hope for anything

I don't want that

When I catch myself smiling at your texts I want to bump my head on the wall, to kick something just to get rid of this feeling

I don't want to get too attached (I probably am already)

Take it from me

Do you also feel worthless when other people succeed when you don’t? Is there anything to stop this?

Yeah I do

I feel guilty

I could work harder, do something better but I didn't

They did it instead

When you think about it it's a good opportunity to find motivation....

Like when you see people succeed and you don't you can try to put a goal for yourself "next time I will be better"

It might work

Setting goals for yourself sometimes help us to get grip of ourselves and work harder, work more successful, be even better version of ourselves

My "parents" don't believe that I've lost almost 2kg a week

They're like "that's not possible"

It's fucking possible!

I've been restricting myself to eat only max 650 kcal a day and now it shows!

And they tell me to stop dieting

Oh no

I have a goal

I need to achieve that

This will sound weid but last night I was really close to ending it all and then turned to tumblr and somehow ended up on your blog and for some reason it comforted me and calmed me down a bit. Still in a shitty place but in my head I’m like hey there mutual let’s be miserable together and comfort each other lol

Sorry for the random rant, i just want to say i appreciate you

Thank you for those words, they mean a lot to me and don't be sorry for saying what you want to say...never

You're always welcome here

I don't know what happened last night or what's happening in your life but I want to say that you're strong....not ending it when you wanted ? So strong mind and will

I am proud of you

You got added to my mutuals list ! (It's not long...only one or two people now one more!)

I'm signing out from helping suicidal people

I can't do that anymore

Knowing that I am useless at this point

It's not helping

Do you ever think of visiting a Psychiatrist? I use Tumblr for venting too but I might need someone to actually talk to. No idea if this will help or stress me more but this idea comes up a lot recently

I had a psychiatrist and psychologist but I gave up on them after seeing their help wasn't helpful

But without visiting one you won't know if he/she helps you

Some people find comfort in those visits and maybe it will help you too

Try it