You Can Go Here To Keep Reading [ao3] (this Story Is Finished)

You can go here to keep reading [ao3] (this story is finished) 💜

Carnation 💜 Chapter 1

PAIRING: idol!Jin x OC

SUMMARY: In early 2018, BTS were at a crossroads: after working so hard to set foot in the music industry of South Korea, their sudden jump into stardom became something they never anticipated. Jin believed in his dongsaengs but was just as lost as them when his soulmate entered the picture.

WORD COUNT: 3.3k (Total: 25.3k)

GENRE: Soulmate AU, s2l

RATING: Teen (for drinking, cussing and tension)

WARNINGS: mild angst for talks of disbanding and burnout

(You can also read it on AO3, originally posted June 2023)

A.N. I have this poll I've been meaning to do about my soulmate series and to do so, I thought I should probably introduce those stories first 😅😋Jin's story is the first of the Soul Palette Series though it serves as a prequel to Call You Mine. I'm thinking of uploading each story's 1st chapter to give you all a taste 😋

“ARMY! I remember early this year. We were mentally struggling at the beginning of the year. While talking amongst ourselves, we even considered disbanding. I’m relieved that we got ourselves together and were able to bring good outcomes. I want to thank our members who helped me get myself together and the ARMYs who love us. Thank you so much. ” Jin, MAMA, 2018

January 3rd 2018

“It’s hard… It’s really hard.”

Jimin’s words were lost in the silence of the room as the seven Bangtan members looked either at the floor or at nowhere in particular while they went over everything that had been said.

Jungkook never knew anything else but that life with his brothers and had stated very clearly that he wanted to fight until he couldn’t breathe or move anymore. His passion was only matched by his perseverance because they all knew how hard he had it, how tough it was, and the sacrifices he had to make growing up totally lined up for that life only. It didn’t make the others feel particularly better, but they understood his feelings.

Taehyung was teary-eyed and looking at a random place on the wall. He was quiet, he had the tendency to turn inwards when he was facing something extremely difficult. He admitted he was unhappy with the constant pressure that sometimes felt like a gag, with the continual invasion of privacy, with the lack of control over what the future looked like.

Jimin understood his feelings and agreed. He pointed out the only silver lining — the ARMYs who supported them unconditionally and had done so from the start.

“It feels somehow… like a failure, to disappoint them like this,” Yoongi had quietly answered then. “Because we fought so desperately to be worthy of their love, and now that it’s getting so big… it risks being too much.”

“I feel so ungrateful, seriously,” Hoseok had said in contempt of himself, hiding his face.

“They would understand,” Namjoon said. 

Their leader was sitting on a table, stiff body clearly physically fighting that difficult topic with all its might. He would usually give them the stability they needed but at the expense of his own insecurities and doubts.

Yoongi had expressed he wanted to make music, purely and simply. “After all this time… I can’t see myself without BTS. We’re family, you are family to me.”

“Ah seriously,” Hoseok complained, cleaning his tears as were all others, to one degree or another.

“Hyung,” Taehyung complained.

“You choose to tell us your heart right now?” Jimin added, cleaning his eyes.

“Of course right now, keep going Yoongi,” Jin enthused, and Yoongi nodded with a small smile.

“My heart… would be incomplete without you guys. It would get lonely, in the studio too. My music… would get quiet without you guys. But I won't pressure you, because you’re so precious to me. I just want you to be happy.”

“Hyung—” Jungkook’s voice vanished in tears.

“We’re happy by your side,” Taehyung cried, hiding his face.

“We’re family, that will never change,” Namjoon declared, sniffling right after.

“But can we keep giving a perfect performance?” Hobi’s jaw was a firm line as he suppressed his emotions to be able to ask them clearly. “Can we keep this up? Because I’m not sure what I fear most: disappointing ARMYs, or disappointing ourselves.”

“It’s hard… It’s really hard.”

And now, there they were, staring at each other quietly. Until Jin decided to smile and say something, seeing that even Namjoon was stumped in his own thoughts.

“We should all sleep on it and not decide anything immediately. We started this together, we can decide this together. Tomorrow we can talk better about this.”

“But… we’re not disbanding, right?” Jungkook asked, voice shaking as he eyed his hyungs anxiously.

“No.”

“No, we’re not,” Hobi smiled.

“We’re talking and we should think about this. Jin-hyung is right,” Namjoon said, getting up. “We can think of ways that could make this work and of how to better ourselves. If we decide to disband, it won't be for lack of trying to figure this out.”

Every member got up except for Jin, who stayed behind sitting on a chair while everyone passed by him, and Namjoon, who heaved a deep breath and hid his face, the pressure finally cracking through. Jin could read his tension and stress like one reads the time on a clock, and as usual, he felt for Namjoon. He was the leader and felt like he was failing them at a deeply personal level, and it was so hard for him. He could act tough and provide everyone with the smarts needed, but deep down he was hurting and doubtful.

Jin got up and placed his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder, who then raised his head. 

“This is not your fault. If anything, you guided us well thus far. You’re also a member of BTS, so go and think about yourself as an individual, as an artist. We’ll talk about this again tomorrow.”

Namjoon rubbed his watering eyes and sucked it all in before nodding. “Thank you, hyung.”

“Of course,” Jin smiled reassuringly. “I’m going for a walk, don't wait up for me.”

“Now?” Namjoon frowned in confusion and Jin scoffed.

“It’s like ten pm, it’s not that late. I’ll be right back.”

He waved Namjoon goodbye quickly after getting ready and rushed out. He needed to breathe as well and the cold new year air would do him some good.

It was hard, it was really hard. However, he felt sort of stuck in a position where he couldn’t say much. Yes, it was hard, but it had always been hard for him. 

He was the oldest, not the leader but definitely the one that looked after them from the day he joined. From making sure Namjoon and Yoongi sorted their differences, to scolding Jungkook for staying in his room by himself, to reminding Tae and Jimin to do their homework, to ordering Hoseok to rest or else, to cooking for all of them— He had become the hyung they needed and he was very thankful he did. He would have never become who he was today otherwise.

But giving and taking care of them was a responsibility, not a chore. What really made it difficult was, well, all the ways he was lacking. He was scouted for his looks, what the heck was that worth?

He chuckled as he made his way down the street to his favorite park. His freaking looks when the others were rappers, lyricists, producers, dancers, and singers. Sure he thought he could act, but that didn't measure up to the others.

So he was always behind and that was really hard. He was the hyung, he had to set an example, but he was lacking in every single aspect of what would make a valuable member. But he tried. That was it, that's all he did. He heard the hate, the harsh comments, the criticism, and he agreed. He was behind, he was slower, he wasn't sharp, he had less vocal range, he—

He sighed, it was hard. But for them, he tried. He wasn't perfect, he was still lacking, but he had worked hard to improve in every way. He had to do it to be able to even show his face to his precious dongsaengs.

So now what?

He didn't want to yell at them for giving up when he had tried so hard, but a minuscule part of him wanted to. Not because his own work would go to waste, he was a better man now than he could have ever hoped to become, but because if they didn't deserve the hype, the praise, and love, then who the hell did?

No one deserved it more than them, absolutely no one! That was what truly made him mad — for all the bullshit they had to take, they deserved every fan, praise, award, and gentleness. They were incredibly talented and kind human beings, he believed they had so much more to do still. So why not stay together?

Was that selfish of him? Sure, every single one of them individually could achieve greatness, be it as musicians, artists, actors, what have you. But he… he loved being with them, being in the group. That life, that family, he didn't want to let it go. He didn't want it to end.

The end was… suffocating. He knew it would come one day, whether now or later, and in many ways it was healthy to debate the end and choose to continue. Only then could everyone be on the same page and happy with the future. But damn was it suffocating. It was worse than letting go of a first love, it was like cutting off a limb. He couldn’t live without them.

They had all done so much. He had managed to graduate from university while shooting and promoting and it had been the most draining experience yet. But he couldn’t hold them back, 2017 was the year of breakthroughs, of pioneering and his degree was in many instances not a priority at all. 

They finished the Wings tour while already preparing for the Love Yourself phase, where they finally had nearly full control of the full artistic process. He was so looking forward to it, it spoke of their fears and wishes to a visceral level. It was their message, ideology, and the footprint they would leave behind. Hopefully, if it was worth it, their legacy. They had to go through with it, the world had to see it.

But in order to go through with it, they had to decide. If the company was to schedule the world tour for the second half of the year then they had to commit. They couldn’t announce projects and concerts and then fall through. And that was where all problems started.

It was just too hard. They had fought so hard to have a spot in the limelight, but now they were basically being thrust into it successively and carelessly. 

Of course they never knew it would get this big, so at first it just sounded good, a worthwhile opportunity to do more, to reach further, to spread their positive message. UNICEF heard of the ‘Love Yourself’ message and one domino pushed the other. They just couldn’t refuse to use their voice for the greater good. They dedicated themselves to spreading the message, creating merch to donate to the cause, and to making ARMY proud. And in return, ARMY helped them reach new heights.

With every award, from Best in Music at the 9th annual Shorty Awards to Top Social Artist at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards, they had hoped to bring someone closer to peace, fend off loneliness, and have more people enjoying their vibe. They were the first K-pop group to enter the Billboard Hot 100 with a single, 'DNA', and album, 'Love Yourself: Her'. They were thankful to their fans, who gave BTS the opportunity to be at the Billboard Music Awards in what was their first television appearance in the US, so later when they were asked to perform, they said yes. BTS was the first K-pop act to perform at the American Music Awards with DNA, and from then on the ball kept rolling. They filmed so many shows, Jin wasn’t quite sure what was what and when. And now they were just back from performing at Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in Times Square, New York, and they couldn’t stop. The next phase was here, not even a week of rest and they were back in the company deciding things and planning. It was exhausting, hallucinating, frightening and that was why they were at the rope’s end.

The company wanted to profit from the wave, the producers wanted recognition, the fans wanted them to achieve new unsurmountable records every day and meanwhile, BTS was just left exhausted, trying to not bite off more than they could chew. Now the opportunity had turned into a heavy constant pressure on their neck that they couldn't shake off. They couldn’t say no, that would be spitting back at ARMYs, that could never be. It was just… hard.

He knew it was, he could see how draining it was but… he still wanted to push through. He didn’t know how exactly and that was what he needed to figure out, because as their hyung—

He suddenly stopped his thoughts and looked around, confused. Yes, he was there at Yeouido Hangang Park as was normal for him when he strolled. It was maybe ten thirty in the evening now, but the street lights made it look almost like daytime. There was no crowd at that hour, but there were still a fair amount of people either coming off work or going to work, or drunk after dinner or going to have dinner. He looked at those people passing him by from where he was seated on a bench and he wondered what was wrong with him. Clearly, everything else seemed normal.

Then what the hell was that hum? He looked down at his own chest and laughed in disbelief at himself. His chest was buzzing, almost vibrating. It was so comical, was he finally losing it with the stress? Was he sitting there, wondering about ways to help the members while his own body was calling it quits?

Tears came to his eyes, he was touched so deeply the hairs on his neck stood on end. He was definitely not above crying, that was not an issue for him if that would release his stress, but that was when he realized he didn’t feel stressed. No, the buzzing hum was warm and soft and gentle, like perfume, and he got up from the bench and started looking around.

Why was he looking around when everything looked absolutely normal and that feeling was deeply sprouting out from his chest? No idea. He just had to go, there was something he needed to find. If there was a perfume, there had to be a flower, right?

There was this unmistaken breeze guiding him somewhere, he felt like a paper wind vane being blown on in a specific direction, but he couldn’t see anything that—

He froze with wide eyes just looking at the woman rushing towards him like a gust of wind. He was standing right in her way, they were on a collision course, but she was looking down while utterly absorbed in the phone call she was having. That’s when he thought, Jin you idiot, you should have been listening, not looking.

The corners of his lips rose the second he predicted she would crash into him, which he absolutely wanted for some reason, but she subverted his expectations. His features went from cheeky to slumped when she dodged him expertly and just walked right past him without even looking up.

He turned to widen his eyes at her in a complaint, but she was walking steadily and quickly away without looking back. Well, he scoffed, how could she just focus so hard on her call or whatever that she didn’t see him standing right in her way? One should pay attention to their surroundings instead of—

He gasped, Wait!

It had to be her, there was no mistaking the happiness in his heart making it bounce around inside his chest. The wind was blowing him in her direction, it was her. Her, huh? He grinned widely in the last meters to get to her, he couldn’t believe he had found her.

He grabbed her hand and she immediately turned around with shock on her face. She had been saying something on the phone, but she was now muted just staring at him with big wide eyes.

He could tell her eyes were big and expressive just at that moment, but he wondered how they would look when she smiled. Her cheeks were pink from the start of the year cold, and the little cloud of steam in front of her small heart-shaped mouth as she breathed was freakishly cute. Her long brown hair was tied in a ponytail and her jacket covered her almost to her knees, not letting him actually see much of her.

He caressed her hand with his thumb gently as he smiled at her, giving her time to come to the same realization as him — this was it. Meanwhile, a tingly sensation was shooting up his arm and filling him with an indescribable euphoria that just confirmed his belief. His eyes were shining as his lips curved in a smile full of endearment.

Yet she was just shocked, staring at him. She had felt the breeze playing with her feelings, but she thought it was the stress, the burnout, so she just focused on getting home. But that tingly sensation… it had to be, right?

But how could it be him?! He was gorgeous, what the heck was that? It was hard enough to believe they had just crossed paths like that at Yeouido Hangang Park (what were the chances?!), but how could he be so… beautiful? Symmetrical? Proportional? Flawless?

Was he real? Was he a painting? A doll? Was he just a dream? Was she dreaming?

“What’s your name?”

Her brain short-circuited. “I’ll call you back,” she murmured without thinking, putting the phone down instantly.

His voice was beautiful too, but that wasn’t possible. None of that could be happening to her, how could destiny do that to her?

“Jaehwa,” she breathed, still quite unsure if she was dreaming, and kind of hoping she was.

He smiled but looked down, he was seemingly shy yet meanwhile she could only focus on his pouty lips. He looked so adorab— 

What the hell was she thinking?!

“My name is Jin. Kim Seokjin.”

She nodded, still with wide eyes though now they were staring at his chest as if she couldn’t face him.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said, raising their hands still clasped together in between them.

She blinked, a deep shade of crimson spreading on her cheeks. She could barely breathe, this wasn’t natural. What was he, a reincarnated prince?!

She stammered, “I’m… I’m not sure about what’s happening.”

“I think we’re soulmates,” he told her calmly, like a summer breeze whispering a secret. She felt a shudder, that was not possible. How could he feel so… intimate with her, like they had no secrets, when she just met him. “You know, tingling sensation and all.”

She swallowed hard, refusing to blush even more, then she bit her lip. Right. She couldn’t even bring herself to walk away, no matter how incredulous she was. She couldn’t rationalize her way around that feeling, and her skin was still humming all the way to her chest now. Her heart was reveling in the feeling as if she had been waiting all along. Well, maybe he was right. It was absolutely impossible and ridiculous but… maybe?

She took a deep breath and adjusted her coat around her neck, preventing the cold from slipping in, and to do so she had to let go of his hand.

“This will sound weird but… would it be okay if I just gave you my number?” She asked and he blinked his long eyelashes in surprise. “I’m sorry, I’m just really tired and I fear I’m just hallucinating this whole thing.”

He chuckled, “I see, I understand. We’re both quite tired, I think.”

She looked up at him — he did look tired with dark circles around his eyes, despite his smile. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, “How about you give me your number and I message you in the morning? Then you know if you got a message, it’s because it’s real and this really happened.”

Her eyebrows furrowed for a second before she nodded curtly, “Fine, that sounds good.”

You can go here to keep reading [ao3] (this story is finished) 💜

🥺

To any fic writers who worry they are wasting their time... I read a fic for a relatively small and inactive fandom about three years ago. And there was one specific scene where a character watched another dancing like an idiot to a beyonce song and it was so sweet and loving that even now years later I have that song on one of my spotify playlist so every once in a while it will play and remind me of that fic, and every time it does I smile and feel a little happier.

The stats on a fic will never really tell you if your writing touched someone. There's no numerical way to show you what impact you made. Maybe you are wasting time, or maybe you are writing something that someone will remember for a long time, something that will never fail to make them smile.

So cool!!!

gone phishing (check back in june 2024) for @wonpiris ♡ (cr. 0613data, namuspromised)

Wow!

HEARTS ON HEARTS | blend 01.

──────── ⵌ RAINBOW ...

──────── ⵌ SWEET ...

──────── ⵌ FLOWER ...

──────── ⵌ PASSION ...

i don’t know if i will be able to do more before Valentine’s Day, but i wanted to drop this at least. :> it’s a smol extension of my animated lines series, but in hearts ! ( I may or may not have stared at this in dark mode for a long time HAHAH )

adding a tw for eyestrain because of the colours, but I hope you enjoy 🤍

blends : 001 / 002

please like, reblog, and credit if you use :)

support me through ko-fi | more dividers →

Seeking the Sunrise 💜 Chapter 1

PAIRING: idol!Hoseok x OC

SUMMARY: Haesun was adrift, her life was happening but she had no idea where she was going. Finding her soulmate was on the wishlist, but it was by no means a priority. Cue in the cutest guy that happens to be a household name in the music industry with his whole life figured out. He's her soulmate, isn't that great? If only he wanted to find love like she did...

WORD COUNT: 4.3k (Total: 32k)

GENRE: Soulmate AU, s2l

RATING: Explicit (for the sexual content in the last chapter)

WARNINGS: angst, tragedy, comfort, minor character death, they're both lost really

(You can also read it on AO3, originally posted June 2023)

A.N. I have this poll I've been meaning to do about my soulmate series and to do so, I thought I should probably introduce those stories first 😅😋Hobi's story is the second of the Soul Palette Series and it serves as the second prequel to Call You Mine. I'm uploading each story's 1st chapter here to give you all a taste 😋

Masterlist | Masterpost | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs

The girls burst out laughing and giggling at the boys trying to jump around the classroom while playing some sort of catch game with someone’s pencil case. The guy chasing it was laughing in embarrassment and even some girls entered the game.

“Are you afraid?”

“Wait until Eusun gets here.”

“We’re so going to tell her.”

“Tell her what?” Haesun asked in a whisper to her best friend, Sunyi, who was sitting at the desk behind her. 

She leaned in to whisper back, “He wrote a confession on a piece of paper and was going to give it to her.”

Haesun smiled, “Eusun would say no…”

“He doesn’t care. She’s just too pretty,” she shrugged and Haesun kept her soft eyes as she eyed the game. 

She could understand that, although it defeated the purpose. “If they’re not soulmates, then what is the use?” She asked rhetorically, preparing her notebooks for class.

Sunyi leaned on Haesun’s table, “You know the likelihood of actually finding a soulmate?”

“We’re too young to worry about it,” she scoffed.

“But not too young to date and have fun.”

Haesun nodded, “Sure, I’m just saying that it feels like a waste of time.”

Sunyi pursed her lips, “Hmm… dating someone who is not your soulmate… can still teach you valuable skills.”

“Shouldn’t all your firsts be with your soulmate?”

The girls turned to see Eusun sitting beside Haesun while adjusting her uniform ribbon. Haesun looked around; the boy had managed to get his pencil case back and everyone was talking quietly in a corner, so of course Eusun didn’t suspect a thing.

Sunyi sighed, “Again, the odds. Are you saying you’re saving your firsts for him?”

“Of course,” Eusun answered softly, brushing her long-styled hair behind her back.

“Your first date? First holding hands? First kiss?”

Eusun nodded to all questions and then smiled at Haesun for support, who just smiled back.

Sunyi groaned, “Imagine that! Seriously, what if you have to wait until you're twenty? Thirty? Forty? What if it never happens?!”

“Then it wasn’t meant to be,” Eusun answered, almost with a dreamlike sigh.

Their homeroom teacher entered the room while saying good morning and they all sat properly, ready to start their lesson. Eusun suddenly gasped and sat up very straight and Haesun looked at her in surprise.

“Is everything okay?” She whispered to the side, yet the teacher spoke immediately.

“Listen everyone. We have a transfer student, be sure to be welcoming. Come on in,” she said louder.

Their classroom door slid open and a tall boy entered with their school’s uniform, white earphones around his neck as if he had just put them down, and widened eyes. Haesun thought he looked pretty normal, so she couldn’t understand Eusun’s reaction: she was staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Well, present yourself to class.”

The boy glanced at the teacher before his eyes fell right on Eusun again. “Hello. I’m Ji Sung-hyun. I hope we all get along.”

“You can sit down.”

The teacher was ready to move on to other things, but the boy stopped right in front of Haesun and Eusun, making the latter look up at him as if she was staring at an angel. Haesun was just frowning, what the hell was he doing?

“Hi,” he said, and from that close Haesun could see he was blushing and that his hands were twitching. 

“Hi.”

Haesun raised her eyebrows, Eusun was blushing too! What were those two morons doing?!

“Ji Sung-hyun-ssi—”

Haesun didn’t hear what the teacher said and probably nobody else did either. Sung-hyun extended his hand to Eusun and they both gasped when their hands touched. The whole class entered an uproar then, with gasps and yells, and the teacher tried to keep the order as Eusun got up to stare into his eyes as if nothing else existed.

“Holy shit…” Sunyi gasped from behind Haesun, who turned to her. “They’re soulmates!”

December 17th 2018

Haesun finished typing on the computer right on time as the teacher announced the end of the class and everyone in the auditorium got up.

“Ahh! I thought it would never end!”

She smiled at the boredom overflowing from Sunyi’s voice, who was stretching without a care in the world now that the professor had left.

“I thought it was interesting…”

Sunyi scoffed and leaped to check what she was writing, “Yeah, right. Who are you talking to?”

Haesun grinned and closed her laptop, “No one much.” Sunyi rolled her eyes and turned to get her things in her bag, Haesun did the same. “But there’s a soulmating party next Friday at the Club M2 in Hongdae.”

Sunyi scoffed as they made their way out of the auditorium. “I thought you were dating… oh what’s his name…”

Haesun shrugged and brushed her long black hair that was starting to curl with the humidity of December. “We’re talking and we had lunch once. Besides, he’s not my soulmate so we’re going.”

Sunyi sighed as they exited the faculty, “What’s the use?” Haesun froze and raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like it’s going to happen…”

“It might,” Haesun argued easily with a smile. “If Eusun found hers—”

“So what? She was just lucky!” Sunyi frowned, looking down. “From our class back in high school, how many found theirs by now? Three? Four?”

“So?”

“And now in college, how many in our class have found them? Ten? Fifteen?”

Haesun sighed and turned around, unwilling to miss the bus over Sunyi’s doubts. “Numbers don’t matter.”

“Of course they do—”

“Having fun is what matters. Finding companionship, admiration, support, and love. That’s what matters. That’s what Eusun has, and that you can find with anyone, he doesn’t have to be your soulmate.”

Sunyi looked down as she followed Haesun to the bus stop. “Eusun…”

Haesun turned back once they reached the post with the right number and smiled, “Eusun was lucky, yes, but we have to live too, right? And we won’t find them by staying at home watching soap operas or dramas.”

Sunyi’s eyes were tearing up and Haesun moved closer to rub her arms. “What if we never find them?”

“Then we don’t! But we might find someone else that we like spending time with. My parents aren’t bonded and neither are yours.” 

Sunyi heaved a deep breath, “I just hate it… I hate that people are searching for something that seems impossible to find and that by doing so, they don’t give a real opportunity to other relationships.” Their bus stopped and they got in as Haesun nodded her agreement. “It’s like, my parents met in high school, they were friends for many years and then decided that they wanted to be together. Nowadays it’s like ‘Oh, but I might meet them just around the corner, so I’m not going to commit’. If they were just around the corner, you would have met them already!”

She sat down with a plop and Haesun laced an arm under hers and dropped her head on her best friend’s shoulder. “That’s true… it’s so hard.” She sighed deeply, “But then, what are we supposed to do? If we can’t find our soulmates and we can’t find another person to love, then what? We stay single and die alone?”

Sunyi grabbed her hand to pull their arms closer together, “You’ll never die alone, Haesun. No matter what, we’ll be friends forever.”

Haesun grinned happily, hugging Sunyi’s arm tight, “We’ll be grannies together.”

“Obviously.”

Haesun smiled and they chatted about all sorts of things, from how dumb it was to have classes so close to Christmas, to how cold it was, to wishing there was a first snow soon though they had no one to kiss at the moment, and then to how Haesun would have to work during the break.

“No! Really?”

“Yap, Yeeun is sick, so I’ll cover her shifts for this week and the week of Christmas.”

“That’s insane!” Sunyi gasped as they stepped out of the bus.

“Yeah, but it will pay well.”

Sunyi pursed her lips, “You know, I’m sure your parents, even your aunt would help out if they knew you—”

“I know, but I don't want them to. I’m going home, I need to take tonight to sleep well before the next two weeks of work.”

She waved at Sunyi and turned in the opposite direction. As she walked down the residential street on the outskirts of Seoul, she wondered about Sunyi’s words. 

She always thought that at twenty-one years old she would have her life figured out: her soulmate, a pet, a degree, and her own place. She was twenty and none of those things were true.

After Eusun found her soulmate all those years back in high school, Haesun had actually fallen into the trap of believing the exact same would happen to her and Sunyi. Because why not? They were the trio of best friends, it made perfect sense. 

But life didn’t work that way. Eusun grew up faster than them — at seventeen she was going through things most people they knew never fully understood or experienced. She was maturing faster, seeing things as an adult, and she was with her soulmate all the time. Soon, their trio became a duo and Haesun was forced to admit something she only ever thought happened in dramas was real: society did separate between mated and unmated people.

Not out of malice, but naturally because one side envied or didn’t understand the other. No one shunned anyone, obviously, but there was a rift between them. After all, how could Haesun comprehend the depths of Eusun’s feelings if she had never felt something quite like it?

She kicked a pebble on the road at the memory of Eusun’s words. Pathetic, ridiculous. She had cried so much after that, at losing her best friend, when in reality it was all bullshit. She didn’t have to be bonded to be in love, to experience happiness, passion, companionship, or empathy. And it did look a lot like bonded people lost the ability to empathize with those who weren't.

But Eusun’s attitudes were not enough to give soulmating a bad name. Haesun had read a lot on the subject with her aunt, who was utterly obsessed with the topic, and realized that indeed it was a state of grace. Eusun was just a bad apple she had once called her best friend. Big deal.

No, it was still a nice idea, but at twenty years old she was done waiting. She had started dating the year before and decided to have fun. Odds were she would be unmated anyway, so there was no point in not getting to know a few men and seeing if anyone clicked. 

The pet wasn’t a reality yet because Auntie was taking medication that made her sick to almost everything, so she was not risking her health. She had her whole life to have a pet, no big deal.

She would have a degree in nine months, she just wasn’t excited about it. She wasn’t eager to tell her parents, who busted their asses off working in a shoe factory so she could study, that Literature wasn’t the most employable degree and that after almost three years she was finding that she didn’t enjoy it. Not only that, but the perspective of going into journalism or something else also didn’t excite her. She felt incredibly lost. 

And she would never have her own place. She typed the password of the apartment building on the keyboard by the front door with a small smile. She was happy to have the chance to live with Auntie so she got to be in Seoul and study there, but she wasn’t delusional: having an apartment in Seoul was a luxury someone like her would never afford. Especially now that every penny she earned went to paying the tuition of a course she didn’t like so her parents didn’t have to do it and make her guilty out of her mind.

“Sunnie, you home?”

“Yeah!”

She took off her shoes and jacket and quickly went to the kitchen to help her aunt.

“Woah, it smells so good!” She rubbed Auntie’s arms in support and not even the woolen coat and layers of clothes could hide her thinness. “Let me help you.”

Her aunt was joyous as ever to have her niece spend the evening with her, but her smile disappeared fast when Haesun told her about her shifts.

She frowned as they sat down on the low table to eat. “You don’t have to kill yourself working.”

Haesun smiled, “I know. And I’m not, I’ll be on vacation anyway.”

She served them both as the eldest shook her head. “We should visit your parents for Christmas…”

“And we will, the restaurant closes on Christmas.”

She sighed, “You know that is not what I mean.” Haesun just smiled because that was the way to get away with it. Auntie sighed again, “You should tell them.”

“What?”

“That you want to study something else.”

“And tell them their hard-earned five million won went to the trash? No.”

“They want you to be happy, they don’t care about that. They only paid for one year, anyway—”

“They paid for everything up to that point too and I’m not sure I’ll ever repay them.”

“Hey,” Auntie stopped, giving Haesun a firm look. “Are children supposed to repay their parents? Did you ask to be born? Do you think they do it out of obligation? Or out of love? Because you’re the sun in their eyes? Stop saying nonsense.”

“I’m sorry, Auntie.”

“If only, missie,” she puffed and reached for the water. “Unfortunately, you’re as stubborn as my brother.”

“And you,” she grinned again and her aunt stifled a laugh.

They chatted throughout dinner and cleaned the kitchen together.

“How’s the boy… What's his name…”

Haesun puffed her hair out of her face because her hands were wet with the soap as she did the dishes. “Seriously, we’re just talking, it’s not a big deal.”

Her aunt shrugged as she dried the dishes, “Well, alright. If he’s your friend, I see no reason for not asking about him.”

Haesun shook her head with a smirk, “We’re not really friends.”

Auntie sighed and grabbed the next dish, “You know how I feel about that.”

“And I’ve told you it's a different generation…”

“I understand that, but you’re not settling down with a partner like my brother did. You’re just talking around, dancing around, doing who knows what—”

“Auntie!” Haesun gasped in shock.

“I know, I know! I’m not shaming! I’m saying you should, I don’t know, do something outside of your comfort zone!” Haesun took a deep breath. “Maybe then you’d activate your thread of fate and finally cross his path.”

“Or maybe that’s dumb and I’ll meet him on the bus tomorrow, the same one I always take to school and back home,” she argued with a shrug. Her aunt was pursing her lips in annoyance, yet Haesun just sighed and decided to keep going with the dishes. “You know I dislike the thought that I need to wait or activate my fate. As if my life only starts or becomes valuable if I meet him. I want to live on my own too. What if I never find him? Will my life be worthless then?”

“Of course not! Sunnie!”

“I know, of course not!” She nodded vehemently as she gave her aunt the last plate. “Look at your life, auntie, as an established author who traveled the world and met so many people. Maybe that’s the life I want one day, hm? A life lived for me, not waiting for someone else.”

Auntie dried the plate and placed it on a pile before putting her hands on her niece’s shoulders. 

“My life was filled with adventure, I surely had a lot of fun. I don’t regret much, but I do regret not ever feeling that deep love and connection. The soul that would have matched mine. I’m not saying I would have sacrificed everything I have experienced, but it would have certainly been even more fun and meaningful with him. Not to mention…” her hands went to adjust her headscarf. “Not even for myself, but… chances are he is or is going to be sick too. I wish… that wouldn’t happen, even if I never meet him.” Haesun reached to hug her immediately and she smiled. “I wish no one would feel this pain. Ever.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Auntie smiled and petted Haesun’s hair. Whenever she did that, Haesun always had the impression that Auntie was consoling her, not being consoled herself. Maybe it was because she knew Haesun was so scared of losing someone so important to her. 

“Nothing to be sorry for, life happens. This included.” She hugged her for a silent moment before pulling away. “Now enough babbling, you need to rest if you’re meant to work so many days in a row.”

Tuesdays are not the worst. Tuesdays are fine.

Haesun kept repeating that to herself as a smile was plastered on her face trying to deal with semi-drunk overbearing people. And she wasn’t wrong; usually, Tuesdays were not the worst dinner shifts at all. But maybe because it was the week before Christmas, everyone was out. Every freaking one. 

From students to families to workers, to whoever, it seemed that everyone had decided tonight was the night to go out for dinner. And as she held onto her tray and sought a moment to breathe before taking on the last group, she wondered how she would deal with that chaos for the rest of the week.

Yet as soon as she lifted her head, she felt dizzy. She frowned and pressed her temples, What the hell?

“Haesun, all good?” Screamed the chef and owner from the kitchen, seeing her through the pass.

“Yeah!” She yelled back, surprised he had noticed. She must have stayed like that for a while. “Yeah, I’m… going.”

Of course, she had to move, her boss was watching, but that wasn’t why her feet were guiding her to the last room of the restaurant, the one where the group had been settled in by the host. She was frowning because she felt really lightheaded, but her body was moving on its own because she had somewhere to be. Somewhere that wasn’t the bathroom, in case she needed to barf, or the kitchen to get something with sugar, but somehow… something better.

“Haesun, are you okay?” 

She glanced up right before she slid the door to the room. Her hand twitched. 

The host continued, “Do you want me to handle this? It’s late and you’ve had a long day, it’s a big group—”

“No! No, no, of course not. I got this. Just… this one.”

She tried smiling, but she had no idea if it worked because her fingers were already hooked on the handle of the door to slide it open. Her eyes fell immediately on a random guy with a green beanie and a gray sweater and he got up, so pale she would think he had seen a ghost. Maybe she was pale too?

But… Why was his nose so perfect? His cheeks were high but framed a beautifully round and perked-up nose. And his lips were so full, how?

Wait… Was she staring?

“Haesun?”

She turned to the host whispering her name, but she couldn’t think. All around her, the group of people seemed worried not about her but about the man with the green hoodie standing up.

“Are you okay?”

“Is something wrong?”

His eyes were so wide she feared that maybe she was being an eyesore or something. What the hell was she doing? Why couldn’t she think? Why would she think that? It was because she couldn’t think.

She hugged the tray and bowed to the group, slowly backing away out of sight.

“I think I need a moment,” she confessed to the host, swallowing dryly. 

“Of course you do, take a break, I’ll take their order.”

He entered the room to meet the guests so that should have been her cue, but her feet weren’t moving. Her heart was speeding so fast she could have collapsed, but somehow it was building up to something she did not know what.

A second later someone passed the doorway and stopped right in front of her, as if searching for something. There was no one to the right, but there she was on his left. She thought she should get out of the way but as soon as she saw his eyes, she froze again. No way she could move now.

He turned to her, still pale, still wide-eyed, but this time his chin was dropped a little. He heard the commotion from the room and raised his hands before taking two steps forward. And wouldn’t you know, suddenly her feet moved on their own because her brain surely wasn’t capable of that level of awareness. Her body moved in his tempo as if by just raising his hands she knew exactly what he wanted. 

She swallowed dryly again, nearly deafened by the beating of her heart pumping blood too fast through her brain, so fast it probably wasn’t reaching it at all. That’s it. She had no blood, that’s why she couldn’t think straight.

Wait, what?

He suddenly grinned and clasped his hands as if to contain his excitement, “Ahhh, I can’t really believe this is happening. Right? It’s happening, right? It has to be.”

She nodded. Whatever it was, it was surely happening.

“I’ve never felt like this, so it has to be… right? Ahhh, seriously, woah,” he rubbed his face, then adjusted his green beanie, smoothed his gray sweater, then extended his right hand to her politely, “Nice to meet you.”

She blinked, she was staring at his hands. Totally, from the start, from the moment he touched his face. He was tall, clearly thin despite all those layers of clothes, and his hands looked delicate. He moved delicately, in fact. She wasn’t delicate, she didn’t move like that. Weren’t they supposed to be the same?

“Miss?”

Her eyes moved from his chest to his eyes and blinked. His lips twitched as if he debated on whether to say something else and she huffed in a breath.

“Right! Me, right? Yes!” Her cheeks blushed instantly, but at least she was breathing. At least she had blood again. “I’m Haesun. Shin Haesun.”

She took his hand and bowed deeply, and her whole body tensed like a wire being overcharged. She gasped quietly and looked up with descended eyebrows while he made sure to use both hands to hold hers, making that sensation even more intense.

His joyful smile vanished slowly as his eyes lingered on her and those feelings treaded to their chests. Her heart was beating so happily, now fully with the only reason that mattered, that her whole body warmed and relaxed in successive waves. It wasn’t really a pleasure as one would receive in a massage for example, but it was definitely pleasurable. She would have melted into his arms if there wasn’t a burst of energy that almost had her hopping around, and preferably into his arms too.

“Hobi, we’re waiting for your order!”

Hobi? She furrowed her brow, where had she heard that name before?

“I’ll be there in a minute!” He answered dismissively before turning to her again. She was already too hot and the more he looked at her, the more she was convinced her legs would give in. “We… I have to go back, it’s our Christmas dinner.” 

She blinked with a nod, of course. She, uh… she could… do something else other than hold his hand and stare at him. Surely.

“But you… I need to know all about you.” His thumb brushed her skin absentmindedly and she blinked yet again. Then why not right now? She wanted it right now, she didn’t want to be separated from him now. He reached for his phone in his pocket, “Please, give me your number. Let’s meet again tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes. Please.”

“When?”

“I don’t know, I…” She had to split their hands to take the phone, which was not pleasant at all. She felt like a battery that just got disconnected from the grid. “First thing in the morning?”

“I have classes.”

“Oh, okay, ahm…” She was typing as he hummed. “Tell me when you could make it.”

“Between class and work, so around four to like five thirty… six if I ask for it.”

She extended his phone back respectfully with both hands and he wrapped his around them, not that concerned about the phone. They stayed just like that.

“Hobi!”

“Sir,” a polite male voice called from the entryway and he let go of her immediately. “Should I order ahead without you?”

“Yeah, I will need a minute. Please,” he asked with a bow and the host bowed back. He gave a glance to Haesun with an implicit question and she smiled at him in reassurance. Hobi turned back to her once the host left and took his phone gently from between her fingers. “I’ll text you the address so meet me tomorrow, okay?” She nodded. “It’s a promise.” His tone almost spoke of relief and she smiled. “Can I… can I take your photo? I— All my contacts have their photos, so…”

“Sure!”

She tried rearranging her messy black hair falling off the ponytail, then her black turtleneck that was surely out of place. Her makeup was very bland, but there was nothing to do there. She probably did not look good but that didn’t even cross her mind — her soulmate was aiming his phone camera to take her picture. Her lips curved.

You can go here to keep reading [ao3] (this story is finished) 💜

Short and sweet!

— lube job | kth

⟢ pairing: racer!Taehyung x racer!reader   

⟢ word count: 1.6k

⟢ genre + warnings: motorbike racing au |exes to lovers | nsfw 18+, minor angst, smut, fluff (smangst © & smluff © are we surprised?) || cursing, yelling, illegal racing, semi-public outdoor unprotected sex, dirty talk, oral - female receiving, creampie 

⟢ summary: Your late father taught you and your ex everything you know about motorcycles. Tonight, you have to make him proud and beat your ex for the grand prize. Your future—and heart—depend on it.

⟢ an: sorry not sorry for the sexual innuendos that made writing this so much fun LOL am i cheesy yeah a little bit but honestly? dad jokes for the win! Jin understands me. edited to present tense.

“You gotta tighten it up, babe… It’s not my fault if you’re loose!” Yoongi leans forward and you push back into him, causing him to groan.

“Just don’t be up my ass!”

Twisting the wrench, you tighten the last screw and step back, admiring the finished product. Your wheels are ready for the race. Being in the illegal racing scene, tonight is a special night; co-ed motorcycles line up at the faded white paint line of the abandoned track you’re gathered at. 

“3 minutes ladies and gents! Get your bikes ready!” 

Continuar a ler