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BTS (방탄소년단) ’Permission to Dance’ Official MV

are we ready for yeehaw bts mimi 🤠

I-I WAS CONCEIVED READY!! OK OK DROPPING BY FOR MIMI'S RUNDOWN OF "PERMISSION TO DANCE" Fisrt of all: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! Second:

I'm still buffering over what Hoseok was wearing ... these are NOT hope-world approved, but Sin-world designed for easy access of private property!!

Side note that I am taking as a MAIN note: My prayers of seeing Jimin in a crop top before he officially kills me someday by hyperventilating have been heard. Praying towards the HYBE shrine seems helpful.

Emo boi JK is back home. Aside from the strong eyeliner, his EMO 2.0 is stronger, bigger and DARKER!!

That aside: I want doctors, researchers and all scientists to drop whatever they are doing (after we finish with this telenovela led by miss Rona) and FOCUS to let US understand this man's freaking duality. Jungkook ... just pick ONE. FReaking ONE. I am getting older and as you are getting stronger im getting weaker because of YOU. Let me live to see another comeback pleaase.

You know the "I have never seen two pretty best friends" meme? WELL, I HAVE: The soulmates with the perfect BBB, AKA: Butt, Body, Beauty.

I am OBSESSED with this lil dancey dance:

Don't let me get started about THIS Namjoon. I can go all day, all year, all my life and still find things to scream about like his singing voice. HE SANG! So imma just let you FEEL what I felt and SEE what I saw through THIS. Why is Namjoon so perfect tho? Can Socrates come back and help me think of an answer to this? AND his lime hair? When life gives you lemons, think of "Permission to Dance"-Namjoon and you will be healed (To use with precaution as a heart attack might occur due to too much charm). I mean:

Now. NOW. Let me just *breathe in - breathe out* KIM SEOKJIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *clears throat* button that shirt UP before I go to horny town. I mean *caugh caugh* in case you catch a cold. That stumbling moment aside. Jin's vocals gave me the chills in this HOT summer in the best way possible.

Now, let me end this with some little details that hold HUGE impact:

They also included their staff at the end of the MV. They really took "crediting their team" to another level. I just wanna add how these past eras has been helpful. We got "Dynamite" when the pandemic reached its peak. Many of us lost a lot and felt no sunshine behind closed doors and hearts. But that song, was a breeze behind stuffing masks. Then we got "Life Goes On" that taught us that it's ok that our daily lives turned slow. That we are not to blame and that just because we feel like time has stopped, do not mean life did. Some months later, "Butter" was here to bring us as a fandom all together again. As for "Permission to Dance", it felt like some sort of hug you get after a long cry, or a kiss and blow on a wound you got as a child after falling. The reassurance that better days are upon us and that BTS' music is there to comfort us even when this whole blue globe decides to give us blues or when our thoughts are painted shades of gray or when our path fades into the darkest black ... BTS will come through like a colorful rainbow after the rainfall.

Once again, personally, been in this fandom for years and BTS never disappoints.

Cr on pic

Oh my God

Why Haven't I Met You?

bts in map of the soul ON:E

221210 - yoongi on instagram: 😌

^ me

Jungkook in leather makes me weak.

End Of The Love Story | JJK

banner by @archivededits via @archivedkookie <3

excerpt | you fell in love with the new kid in class. the love blossomed to something so beautiful and yet so destroying. you destroyed him. years later and you both finally crossed paths. will there ever be a chance for that love to grow again?

genre | major angst, slight smut, minor fluff

pairing | jeon jungkook x fem!reader

warnings | bartender!jungkook, rich!reader, flashbacks between past and present, arranged marriage, strong language, emotional breakdowns, smoking, short descriptive smut, reader & jungkook hurting a lot, bittersweet ending

wc | 12k +

notes | the story is unedited, but hopefully there isn't grammar mistakes

Eight years ago (the first meeting)

You watched as the small timid boy make his way next to you. When he fully sat down, you finally took a good look at him. He was beautiful. From his big doe eyes to his well-sculpted chin. He had a long nose, but kissable; lips that pout when not intended, pink and soft. He has a mole under his lips, a scar on his cheek, and his skin was -

"I'm sorry, is there something on my face?" The boy interrupted your train of thought. You blurted out, "No. I'm sorry, that I was staring at you. Didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." The boy notices a tinge of red surfacing your cheeks. At that moment, embarrassment made a home in you. The boy reassured you that it was okay. He wondered about your name, “My name’s Jungkook. You?” With your cheeks still red, you answered, “____.” The boy smiled warmly at you, “____, that’s a pretty name.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sudden action. You faced forward trying to redirect your attention to the teacher, but all you could think of was the smile the boy displayed; the dimples making their debut, and its bunny-like appearance.

Present

You were finally free. Free of this marriage that has been brought upon you. Just an hour or so ago you were Mrs. Boyce, now you're not. You have been waiting for this moment for so long, and it's finally done.

You were making your way to your car when someone pulled you aside. You came face to face with your ex-husband. "Mason, what's wrong?" The man let go of your arm and hugged you. He quietly murmured, "Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to hug you one last time before I go." Even though you despised this marriage, you never hated Mason, actually, he was your rock. All those nights, days, and moments you had wanting him, missing him, needing him, Mason was always there comforting you. Just like you, Mason hated this marriage.

You hugged Mason for the last time. Tears started welling up, and you sniffled to him, "Thank you so much, Mason. For being there for me when I had no one." He gave you a big squeeze for your welcome. A few seconds later, the hug ended. Mason placed his hands between your chilled face and expressed, "I'll always be there for you, ____. Not physically, but.... spiritually?" You had your head leaned back laughing at his confusion. "Please, don't be afraid to give me a call." You shook your head and gave him your response, "I won't. Be safe, Mason." Your ex-husband gave you his infamous grin. "Will do."

You're here in a club called Jessamine with your best friend Becky. She wanted to celebrate your freedom by trying to get you laid, and part of that plan was going to a club. She dressed you up in skimpy lingerie that could pass as a dress. The outfit barely covers your ass; one wrong move and you can flash the whole club. If it was your choice, a nice knee-high bodycon dress would be great, but things never work out in your favor.

About 30 minutes into dancing and all you wanted right now was a cold hard drink. You turned to Becky shouting your departure, "Beck, I'm gonna go get a drink!" Still dancing she gave you a thumbs up. "Try finding a hot man to fuck, babe!" You laughed sarcastically, "Yeah, sure."

This club was jammed packed, with no room for movement. You pushed and shoved your way through the crowd until you finally reached the bar. You sat between a woman who looked like she was in her 40s and the other who was accompanied by a man, probably a couple. A bartender came up to you; his figure was tall but lean, had a goatee, and green eyes. He was quite handsome to you.

The bartender plopped his hands on the ledge of the counter and inquired, "Is there anything I can get you, ma'am?" You gasped; you placed your hand to your heart, "Ma'am? Do I look old?" The man before you chuckled, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I didn't want to address you something that you might not like.... like pretty lady." You smile at the man and asked for his name. "Carter," he replied.

"Well Carter, I would like a Vodka Gimlet - if that's possible." The bartender straightened himself up and responded, "Don't worry it is." You smiled and watched the man get to work. A few moments later the bartender offered you your drink. "Thank you, Carter."

He gave you a nod and did a light slap on the counter. "Well, I'm gonna go on my break. If you need anything," the man pointed at the other bartender a few chairs away, "Teo, would be able to help you." You gave the man a thumbs up and said, "Okay. Thank you again, Carter." You watch the man make his way to the back door.

He swung the door open, startling two people. "What the fuck, Carter! I'm doing something here." Carter leaned against the brick wall and dug in his pocket and took out a cigarette. "Yeah, I can see that. Now do you have a light?" The man beside him groaned, "I hate you sometimes." He pushed the girl off of him signing her to go back inside. The man reached inside his back pocket and lit Carter's cigarette.

Carter inhaled the stick and let out a puff of smoke. He dropped his hand down and asked, "Who's the chick?" The man shrugged, "Don't know. Just grabbed the nearest girl and dragged her out here." A moment of silence was taken, the only sound heard was the busy streets at the front of the club.

The man pushed himself off the wall and made his way to the door, but before he had the chance to go back inside, Carter intervened, "Ah Jay, there's this hot chick at the bar. I don't know if she's taken or not, but she is by herself. Kind of thought you when I saw her." The man cocked his head to the side, "What are you saying?" Carter smirked at the man, "What I'm saying is that maybe you should try and get her number." The man opened his mouth to say something, but Carter stopped him, "If you're thinking about what she looks like, you'll know when you see her. Now get the fuck inside, your shift is starting."

The man grumbled at the thought of Carter. "Asshole. Fucking interrupting me." He sulked his way to the bar getting ready for his shift. Teo greeted him, giving the man a quick fist bump. He stationed himself and got ready to take a customer's order.

"Hello, sir. Anything I can get you?" And right before he could get the man's order, he heard a familiar laugh. He whipped his head in the direction of the sound, and his heart dropped. Just sitting a few chairs away was the woman who broke him.

He wanted to run, to hide, he would do anything to be away from you. He was frozen in fear, shaking from the inside out. "Hey!" The customer shouted, "Hello, are you listening? I want my fucking drink now!"

You heard the commotion a few feet away from you. And since you're human, you were curious. You turned your attention away from Becky and to the shouting. What you saw was something you didn't expect in a million years, Jeon Jungkook. The boy you fell in love with, the man you're still in love with.

You guys made eye contact; an unspeakable feeling of confusion running wild. You got up, ignoring the weird stare from Becky, but before making any movements toward Jungkook, he ran. You saw him run through the back door, pushing everybody without care.

Taking the first step to him, Becky uttered, "Where are you going?" She had her hand wrapped around your arm. You gently pushed them off and said, "I'll be right back." Before Becky had the chance to say something you speed walked your way to the door.

Just mere feet away from the exit, it swung open. Carter stepped into the club reeking of Tobacco. You were surprised by the sudden appearance. "Cater!" He gave a tight-lipped smile, wondering what you were doing back here. "Ma'am, you're not supposed to go back here."

As a response, you frantically explained, "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry, but someone I know went back here, and I haven't seen them in years." Carter furrowed his brows; he asked, "Do they work here?" You swallowed in some air and took a deep breath. "Umm... I think so. His name is Jungkook." Carter was getting confused by the second; he's never heard of that name before. He apologized, "I'm sorry, who?"

You were getting impatient with Carter. So, you pushed him aside, not caring about if you were being rude or not. You busted the door open and saw him crouched down with his face between his hands. The door slammed shut, startling you. You looked at the man in front of you with much sadness. With a heavy heart, you whispered, "Jungkook."

The screaming wind drowned out your voice, but even so, he heard. It's been two years since he last heard your voice, two years since he heard his name leave your lips. He slowly lifted his head up, and you saw his tear-stained face staring at you. Your heart stopped at the look he was giving you; hatred was all he was displaying. You wish to take all his pain and throw it at the nearest star, but you couldn't, especially since you were the cause of it.

Jungkook stood up, and you noticed how his build got bigger. He was definitely working out. You were never scared him, however, right now you were. He was not the same man as before - you know that, but you still hoped he hadn't changed.

Jungkook on the other hand, thought the opposite; you had gotten smaller. Not physically, but mentally. Your aura seemed scared and quiet, a complete 180 from before. He wanted to hold you - protect you, but he wouldn't. Jungkook could never forget what you did to him.

He laced his tongue with venom, and spat out, "Why the fuck are you here?" You flinched at his words. You deserve it - you know you deserve it, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Your heart started beating faster, and you tried controlling your breathing, but one could know that you were having a hard time keeping calm. You put your shaky hand to your heart and trembled, "I didn't know you worked here. I came here with my friend to celebrate."

Jungkook stayed quiet and you took that as a sign to continue on, "I came here to celebrate my divorce." Jungkook was taken aback by your sentence. Divorce... it ranged in his head. He'd never thought you would get a divorce. "You got a divorce?" You nodded shyly, "This morning actually. Everything was done and finalized this morning."

Jungkook gulped down some spit he didn't know he was harboring. He wanted to be happy, he was waiting for this moment, but he couldn't find it in himself to be. Jungkook took a few steps back, giving himself more space. You stood there watching him pondering his thoughts.

You took this time to fully analyze him. His hair was longer, reaching close to his shoulders, almost in a mullet style. Two piercings were placed on his face, and tattoos littered his right arm; knuckles all the way up to his shoulder. It's only been two years; how did his appearance change so much? Never once has Jungkook said anything about getting facial piercings or tattoos. At this moment, you wanted the old Jungkook back. You were selfish - so selfish; you have no right to think that, but you couldn't help it.

"Why'd you come here to celebrate? Ready to find a new man for you to break?" You scoffed at his questions, "Are you serious?" Jungkook knew he was being mean, but he didn't care. "Of course, I'm being serious. You broke it off with me easily, and then you got married - only for you to divorce two years later. And what's the first thing you do... you go to a fucking club! Single people go to clubs to get fucking drunk and sleep with people they don't even know."

You felt your heart swell with pain; you felt so offended. "Is that what you think I am? A slut?" Jungkook seemed unfazed by your pain. He shrugged his shoulders and remarked, "I don't know, it's been two years. You could be... I mean look at the fucking outfit you're wearing. It's like you're asking for it." You slapped him; you have never slapped Jungkook before. And without a second thought, your tears came streaming down. Jungkook watched you as you tried wiping them away. The tears and snot came running down; you were hiccupping and whimpering at the pain Jungkook shoved at you.

For a split second, Jungkook regretted his words, but he shook off the thought. If he was a monster, his only reason would be that you made him into one.

Still crying, you bellowed out, "Yeah, you're right! It has been two years. Because in just that period, you've become someone unrecognizable! An asshole!" You dropped down to the cold and dirty concrete floor and wailed. You didn't care if people were to hear you; you didn't care if people thought you were crazy. All that you could care for, and feel was the immense agony shooting throughout your body. "And to think I still love you!"

Jungkook felt himself staggering; he was angry about what you said. He growled out, "Love? You say you love me, but you left me! You left our relationship! You left everything! You left our five years of love so quickly... so easily. I have every right to be a fucking asshole, ____! I fought for us when you didn't."

You shot your head up, and yelled, "You're wrong!" Jungkook started laughing. He bent down to your level and challenged you. "I'm wrong?" You threatened back, "You're wrong. I did fight for us." You sent glares at Jungkook, as he did too. No words were exchanged, but the spitefulness radiated off of each other.

A few seconds later, Jungkook got up. He looked down at you and decided, "I'm not gonna fight with you. Everything that has happened is in the past." He started making his way to the door, but before he placed his hand on the knob, he added, "But know this, ____, you're fucking dead to me." And with that, he left you alone on the cold April night.

Seven years ago (the confession)

Jungkook was sitting in his car, waiting patiently for your tutoring to end. He had his head resting on the steering wheel contemplating whether he should tell you his feelings or not. He's been thinking about it for three weeks and thought today is the day, but like a lot of people, he has the last-minute jitters.

When the anxiety became unbearable, Jungkook stepped out of his car to take a breath of fresh air. He took deep breaths to calm his racing heart. He dug in his pocket to check the time on his phone; four more minutes till you're out. He spent the next minute stretching for reasons he doesn't know. When he got back in the car, he downed the leftover water from earlier and threw the empty plastic in the back.

A few moments later and you were finally exiting the school, along with a few other people. Jungkook watched the way you smiled at the girl next to you, deep in the conversation. It made his heart warm seeing you smile.

You made your way to his car, exhaling the tiredness from today. You swiftly turned your body to give Jungkook a hug. With your body fully back on the seat, you sighed, "Thank you, Jungkook, for picking me up." He gave you a small smile, "No worries." You buckled yourself, ready to be taken home, but you noticed that Jungkook hadn't made the slightest move to leave. "Jungkook, are you okay?" He turned to you and whispered, "I umm... have something I want to say to you."

You got a little worried that something might've happened. "What is it? Are you okay?" Jungkook shook his head at your questions; he informed, "I'm okay. Nothing to worry about," he took a deep breath and continued, "I have just been feeling something for a while now, and I thought today should be a good time to tell you." You gave Jungkook a look to tell him to continue.

When Jungkook opened his mouth, all that came out was a shaky breath. He brought his head down from embarrassment, "I'm sorry." You giggled at his nervousness. You grabbed his hands and assured him, "It's okay. Take all the time you need." Jungkook took another deep breath, and screwed his eyes shut, scared of what facial expression you were to make; he admitted, "____, I like you... like really like you." You let go of Jungkook's hands, causing his eyes to open. He spouts out, "It's fine if you can't replicate my feelings back! I just don't wan-"

You grabbed Jungkook's face between your hands and cut him off with a kiss, and just as quickly you pulled apart. Jungkook was in a state of shock, he didn't know what happened, or why it happened. Since your hands still held Jungkook's face, you gently caressed his cheeks to bring him back down to earth. You softly spoke, "I can replicate your feelings back. I like you, Jungkook - possibly even more than you do."

Jungkook's eyes bugged out from your confession. Never in a million years would he think you had feelings for him. He pointed to himself, "Me? You like me?" You took your hands off his face and waved them around, "I like you, Jungkook! Ever since you transferred to my class, I have liked you severely. Was my kiss not obvious?" Jungkook starts chuckling at the turn of events; he rubbed his face and said, "I'm sorry, I just... Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think this would happen?" You smiled at his words, "Neither did I."

You guys got quiet, the awkward tension swimming throughout the car. Jungkook took the initiative to cut the tension, "Well," he kissed his teeth, "Since we like each other, we should kiss... again." You have never smiled more widely until today. "It's your turn to kiss me, Jungkook."

He gently took his hands to hold your face, and slowly but surely, he closed the gap. Your lips brushed against his, in a teasing manner. Jungkook didn't want to waste any more time, so he crashed his lips to yours. You guys kissed ever so slowly; reeling in the feeling of being wanted. You were the one to pull away first; you breathlessly spoke, "God, how can you hold your breath for that long?"

Jungkook chuckled at your question. He leaned his forehead to yours, staring deeply into your eyes. He feels like he could get lost in them and he wouldn't mind. He whispered, "I like you, ____." You gave him another kiss, and responded, "As do I, Jungkook."

Present

It's been a week since the event with your ex-boyfriend. It took you a fat minute to go back inside. When you did, you tried your hardest to avoid Jungkook, but of course, since he worked there avoiding him was not possible. Carter, on the other hand, went up to you, asking if you were okay, but you shrugged him off. You reached Becky demanding that you wanted to go home; she complied with your request.

Here you are with Becky out on your terrace smoking. You used to hate the idea of smoking, the burning sensation, the horrible smell of Tobacco, but since the break-up with Jungkook, you fell down the rabbit hole of cigarettes. You used to smoke one pack every two days, but it subsided to one pack a week.

Right now, you were feeling very serene. The cold harsh wind screaming in your ears, it was burning your eyes, and stabbing your skin; it felt nice. It made you forget the pain you were feeling inside. Becky was talking to you, but her voice went in one ear and out the other. You were just focusing on letting yourself get lost in this freezing pain. The only time you felt alive was when you suffer. You think to yourself that this is what you deserve, that everything you did should come back to you ten times worse.

Becky was getting concerned about your lack of attention. She was talking about how horrible the weather was right now; she expected your usual sarcastic remark, but you didn't give any. She turned to you, analyzing the way you were engulfed in this harsh weather. She saw the way you stared blankly with your teary eyes at the busy city. She saw the little goosebumps littering your skin. Your hair blowing in every direction, not caring for the tangles it's making. The firing cigarette getting close to your fingers. She saw nothing but a shell of her best friend.

Becky hadn't known you for very long, two years to be exact. She was Mason's coworker; they were in the same law firm. You met her when you were visiting Mason one day, and from then on, she became your best friend. She gets worried about you, knowing that the majority of your pain consists of your broken love. Becky only knows briefly about what happened that night; she wanted to know more, but she respects your boundaries, so, she never pushed the topic.

Becky tapped your shoulder, lightly shouting so you can hear her voice in the loud wind. "____, your cigarette is about to be out! Throw it away and let's get back inside!" You blinked away your tears, and promptly threw your cigarette in the ashtray.

"What the fuck! You wasted a good piece of cigarette, Jay." Jungkook just waved off Cater's complaint. "Yeah, whatever. I don't give a shit. It's mine, not yours." Jungkook and Carter were seated in the clubs' break room. Their shifts usually started at the same time, so they always take their breaks together.

Ever since that night, Jungkook has been on edge. He thought that you had moved away, but since his encounter with you, he's now rethinking that you hadn't left at all. Seeing you definitely brought back memories that Jungkook tried so hard to avoid. The pain you had caused resurfaced and immersed his heart with agony. Right when he thought he finally healed, your pretty face came and ripped off his band-aid.

Carter interrupted Jungkook's train of thought. "Damn, Jay. Crankier than usual?" Instead of responding back, Jungkook threw his head back on the leather couch. He didn't really have the energy to converse with Carter. If he didn't have work, he would've spent a year hiding out in his apartment avoiding everyone and everything, but he didn't have that luxury.

Carter was very persistent in making conversation. "So, Jungkook is your real name? And you didn't think of telling me? Your best friend?" Jungkook swiftly raised his head at Carter's question. He remarked, "Don't fool yourself, Carter. We're not friends." Carter felt hurt by Jungkook's words but choose not to show it. Jungkook continued, "The reason why I didn't tell you my name was because I didn't want to be tied down to my past."

"Past?" Carter questioned. Jungkook dug in his pocket for another cigarette to smoke. He lit it up and took a hit. "I never really cared for my name. I didn't really like it, but I didn't really hate it. It wasn't until this girl came along that I started loving my name - only when she said it. Hearing my name leave her lips made my stomach do flips. One day she ended things, and my name just started to sound horrible to hear. So, that's why I changed it to, Jay."

Everything stayed quiet after Jungkook's confession. Carter didn't know what to say. He wanted to lighten up the mood and make Jungkook slightly happy, but he was scared that whatever left his mouth, the man in front of him would shoot him the meanest glare, and Carter was a sensitive man.

Minutes go by until their shift starts. Before exiting, Carter wanted to say at least something to the broken man. He halted Jungkook's walking, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jungkook turned to Carter with a puzzled look. Carter spoke, "Jay's not a bad name. I quite like the name." Jungkook gave Carter a tight-lipped smile and nodded. He left the break room with a lone Carter inside.

Seven years ago (the first night)

You had arrived at Jungkook's house for a sleepover. You and Jungkook have been dating for seven months, and he thought today was the day you could finally stay over at his house. You actually wanted to stay over at his early on in the relationship, but Jungkook informed you that he wasn't ready yet. Jungkook wanted things to go nice and slow; he was afraid that if things were to be rushed everything would fall apart. You understood his reasons; you took things nice and slow just like he wanted.

You entered his house; it was small but cozy. His house felt like a home, just the feeling the house gives makes you feel at peace. You looked around the place, admiring the family pictures, drawings, and even the little trinkets displayed on top of the T.V. Everything insight made your heart warm.

Jungkook on the other hand, was nervous. He knows that his place is far more different than yours. You had been born with a silver spoon in your mouth; everything was handed to you, even without asking. As he watched you look around the place, Jungkook was sweating profusely. He was scared that you would leave him because of how poor he was compared to you.

Jungkook trembled, "I know this isn't much. I know how ugly this is to you, but I hope that you won't leave me." You flipped towards your boyfriend. You were flabbergasted that he would think that. Everything that he had said was the opposite of what you were thinking. You threw yourself on his soft brown couch cuddling with one of the throw pillows. Jungkook walked in front of you, and you gave him a bright smile.

You chuckled, "Babe, this house is beautiful, not ugly. It isn't much but it's definitely something amazing." You grabbed his arms, discarding the pillow, and pulled him towards you. "I could never leave you because of how much or little money you have. Jungkook, I'm with you because of who you are. And you are someone worth treasuring." Jungkook's heart has never felt so full. He kissed your forehead, "My heart is full of you, I can't even call it my own."

As your response, you gently grabbed his face and kissed like it was the last. He held your waist and gripped you closer to him. There was no room in between you two. Things started escalating when you began unbuttoning Jungkook's shirt. He pulled away the second he felt your fingertips brush against his chest. You were startled by the action; you felt that you had done something bad.

You felt your eyes slightly tear up, but Jungkook was quick to assure you that it was nothing wrong. "Baby, don't be sad. I just think that we shouldn't be doing this in the living room." At first, you were confused by his statement, but then your eyes lit up by his meaning. You blushed and Jungkook smiled at your cheeks. "Let's take this in my bedroom, yeah?" You had never nodded your head this hard until right now.

Jungkook chuckled at your cuteness; you never fail to make him smile. He picked you up like you weighed nothing. You wrapped your legs around his torso, and your arms around his neck. Jungkook had his hands resting on the bottom of your ass, keeping you in place. He marched his way to his room, all while keeping his eyes on yours. You would usually feel nervous about the intense eye contact, but at this moment you were too lost in his big brown eyes. He looked at you with so much longing, and you loved that feeling.

Once he reached his room, Jungkook placed you on the bed and said, "I am so glad my parents aren't here today." He climbed on top of you, caging you in between his toned arms. "So, don't be quiet for me. Never be quiet for me." You were stunned by the words that had left your boyfriends' lips. It was like a different person entered his body. It was hard to muster any type of word, so you just nodded.

Jungkook can see that you were speechless by his behavior. He was actually having fun doing this to you. He wanted to push you even further, so, Jungkook slipped his hand underneath your shirt and inside your bra to lightly brushed his fingers on your hard bud. He saw your mouth go agape; he ordered, "Use your words, baby. I wanna hear you." You can see the mischievous glint along with lust swimming in his eyes. You cleared your throat and shakingly said, "I won't be quiet for you. I'll let you hear all of me."

Jungkook smirked, "That's my girl." He dived his head to your neck and sucked your soft skin. The hand that had brushed against you was now needing the plump area. "Ahh... babe." you moaned at the sensation. Jungkook unclasped his mouth from your neck, admiring the painting he had done. He licked the area grinning. When he had lifted his head back, he already saw the dazed look on your face.

Jungkook caressed your cheeks tenderly. "Why do you already look a bit fucked out, babe? I haven't done anything yet?" You grabbed a hold of his shirt and said, "It feels good." Jungkook chuckled. God, you were too adorable. You tried unbuttoning his shirt again, but Jungkook just swiftly took it off. You straight away raked your fingers along his abs. The feathering touch made Jungkook lightly flex his abs. "Aren't you a little horny?" You blushed from embarrassment at his words. You pinched his skin, "Shut up."

Jungkook grabbed a hold of your arms and placed them above your head. "Spread your legs, baby." And like a dog, you did what you were told. You watched Jungkook position himself between your legs; he was slowly grinding against your clothed pussy. You bite your lip, containing your moans. Jungkook saw the way you try quieting yourself. He released one of his hands away from your pinned arms, dragging your bottom lip down with his thumb. He groaned at you, "____, I said to never be quiet for me. So, stop biting your lips and moan for me, baby."

You released one sinful moan for your lover. He wasn't even inside you yet, but you already felt like cumming. Jungkook fully let go of your arms, and instead, he ripped open your shirt. You gasped at the action, "Jungkook! Babe, I liked that shirt." Jungkook unhooked your bra and threw it on the floor. "I'll buy your another one, baby. Now lift up your hips." You really didn't know what it was, but every time Jungkook demanded something, you would always be compliant.

He took off your shorts along with your underwear, and just like your bra, he discarded them on the floor. You laid bare in front of Jungkook's eyes. You looked ethereal to him like you were an angel living down on earth. Your hair was sprawled out on his sheets, your skin shining even though there was no sun, your legs wide open giving him a view of your pretty pussy, your breasts laid beautifully on your chest, and your face stared back at him with devotion. They say that nothing in this world is perfect, but to Jungkook you were the definition of prefect.

You stared at him while he took off his pants. You saw the outline of his thick cock, bulging on his boxers. You couldn't tear your eyes away; Jungkook noticed. He grabbed one of your hands and placed it on his hard-on, gently rubbing himself on your hand. Jungkook exhaled and said, "You feel how hard I am for you, baby?" You licked your lips and meekly whispered, "Yes."

He placed your hand back by your side and bent down to you. His lips hovering above yours. "Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it." You lifted up your pelvis, it was your turn to grind yourself on his clothed cock. You breathlessly spoke, "I want you to fuck me, but I want it slow." Jungkook groaned at your words.

He slipped out of his boxers and his cock sprung free. It hit you right on your clit, making you jolt. Before Jungkook could continue, he reached behind you, and right beside his bed was a small dresser. He dug into one of the drawers and pulled out a condom. Jungkook took off the plastic and tapped the rubber piece on your lips. He grinned, "Do you wanna put this on me, babe?"

You sat up and took the condom from your boyfriend. You had your eyes locked on his cock. It might've been weird to voice out, but Jungkook's cock was really pretty. His shaft was slightly lighter than his skin, and his tip was pretty pink. You could see the feint veins that circled his member, and he wasn't hairy, just a slightly shaven area that resided on top. You could see some pre-cum leaking out of him. He was pretty thick and long, you would've guessed him to be around eight inches.

You swallowed some air before you proceeded. You took him in one of your hands and placed the rubber on his tip. You tried sliding it down, but since your hand was too shaky it kept coming back up. Jungkook had seen your nervousness. He gently grabbed your hand, and he worried to you, "Need help, baby?"

You shot up at him and quickly replied, "No!" In the midst of your answer, you had gripped your boyfriend too hard. "Shit, babe! Not too hard, please?" You were quick to release him from the stronghold. You apologized, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I don't need help. I can do this." Jungkook nodded and copied back, "You can do this."

You tried sliding the condom back down again, and thankfully this time it stayed in place. You smiled at Jungkook like a kid who aced their pop quiz. He chuckled, "God, ____. Can you get any cuter?"

Jungkook looped one arm around your torso, slowly bringing you back down on the bed. He positioned himself back between your legs again and gently slid his cock between your folds. His movement sent tidal waves through your body. You moaned out, "Fuck, Jungkook. It feels good, but I want you in me." Jungkook placed his cock right at your entrance. He said, "If it hurts tell me, okay? I'll go slow like you want." You nodded.

You hugged your boyfriend readying yourself. Jungkook had licked his fingers, lubing you up. He slowly entered you, feeling your warm walls caging him tightly. Your arms around Jungkook tightened. It didn't hurt having him inside you. You have a dildo, so the feeling was nothing new. But this was your first time having other than a toy inside you. You softly moaned once he was fully inside, Jungkook as well. His mouth was right next to your ear. When you heard him groan it made your mind hazy.

"Am I hurting you, baby?" You shook your head at his question, but Jungkook wanted words. "I need to hear you say it." You murmured your words lowly, "No, you're not hurting me."

"I'm gonna move now, alright?"

"Alright."

Jungkook started slipping in and out of you. You created wetness, making it easier for him to not hurt you. It felt nice, but you wanted him to go deeper. You rasped out, "Deeper, Jungkook. I want it deeper." And that's what he did. Jungkook had reached deeper inside you, hitting your G-spot. Your body thrust up, touching your boyfriends' chest. "Shit!" you cried out.

Jungkook smirked to himself. Seeing you like this, only wanted him to go harder - faster. Placing you back down, he grunted, "Baby, can I go faster? Please?" You wanted to please your boyfriend like he was doing to you. So, you agreed.

Jungkook lifted up his body and moved you to the edge of the bed. With him standing, he placed your legs straight on his chest. He held your thighs with a firm grip and started thrusting you at a fast pace. Your body started moving up and down, your breasts doing the same.

The room echoed with the slapping of your guy's skin. You watched Jungkook as he fucked you. His head was leaned back; he was immersed in the pleasure. Jungkook was so glad that you are his first. He read online that having sex with someone feels so good, but to him, you felt like heaven.

Jungkook brought back down his head and snuggled between your legs. He rubbed his cheek along your calf. He beamed at you, "You're so precious, baby. So precious." You mimicked back his smile.

Jungkook went back to fucking you, never slowing down his pace. You gripped the sheets of his bed when you started to feel your high coming. Jungkook felt you holding his member hard, not letting him breathe. But he took it as a sign to go faster. When your high reached you, you jerked your body up, your body quivering. You moaned his name repeatedly. You never felt this much pleasure until now. Jungkook sure knows how to make you feel like you were in another world.

Jungkook watched as your body shook. He loved that he was the reason for your undoing. When your high came down, you thought that you guys would be done, but Jungkook had other plans. You gave your boyfriend a puzzling look when you felt that he was still in you. Jungkook cocked his head to the side, "Did you think it was over? Baby, I haven't even cummed yet." Your eyes bugged out.

Just as you were about to say something, Jungkook fucked you hard. He took your breath by surprise. You had just came, so when Jungkook added more pleasure to your sensitive cunt, you couldn't help but cry. You tried telling him to stop or slow down, but you could barely muster up any words.

Jungkook felt himself almost there. With one more thrust, he dropped your legs and collapsed on top of you, riding out his climax. His lips were right next to your ear; he was groaning out incoherent words. You both were out of breath, giving yourselves some time to be composed.

When you guys were finally calm, Jungkook pulled out of you. He discarded his filled condom in the trash. He gently pulled you up and asked, "Do you want to bathe together?" You smiled widely; you answered his question with a nod. You were about to walk with him to the bathroom, but Jungkook noticed your legs slightly trembling, so he picked you up bridal style.

You giggled at his action, holding him tight as he walked. When you made it into the bathroom, Jungkook sat you down on the closed toilet. You got worried that you might dirty it. "Wait, Jungkook, I don't think I should sit here. I don't want to dirty your toilet." Jungkook playfully scoffed at your concern. While he went to run the warm water, he shrugged, "It's fine if you dirty the toilet, babe. I can always clean it."

Minutes go by and the tub was finally filled. Jungkook carefully placed you in the tub. "Is the water warm for you?" You nodded your head and then urged him to get inside with you. Jungkook sat behind you; your back rested against his chest. You closed your eyes, letting yourself get lost in the warm and safe atmosphere. Jungkook looked down at you admiring your beauty. He could never get tired of looking at you. You captivated him, and he wasn't complaining.

Jungkook raked his fingers along your stomach; his head rested in the crook of your neck, breathing you in. With your eyes still closed, you spoke out, "You know, they say that a home is a place, but I don't think that's true." You opened your eyes and faced your lover. "Because I found a home in you; you're my home, Jungkook."

Jungkook buried his head deeper in your neck. He rarely blushes, but right now his face was painted bright red. He gave himself a minute to calm his beating heart. When he lifted up his head, he found that you had your eyes closed again. "____?" he called out. You responded to him with a little hum.

Jungkook took a deep breath in and a deep breath out and confessed, "I love you." Your eyes shot open, and you looked at him. Jungkook repeated, "I love you, ____. Every fiber of my being calls for you. My need for you is so strong, that I don't know what I'll do without you." You felt yourself crying, your body trembling. Jungkook wrapped his arms around you; he thought that what he had said made you sad. "____, I'm sorry. Please, don't cry."

You shook your head. You weren't crying because of what he had said, but because you were so happy. You were filled with so much joy and love. You sniffled to him, "I'm not crying because of something bad. I'm crying because you're making me so happy. I'm so happy, Jungkook." You wiped your tears away and grabbed his face. You admitted, "And I love you so much.”

Present

"I would like the veggie wrap, but please don't put in the bell peppers. And some sweet tea - no ice. Thank you." Becky handed her menu to the young waitress. "Ma'am, is there anything I can get you?" The girl had her attention switched to you. Getting ready to write, you gave her your answer, "I'll have the same, but I want the bell peppers put in. And for the drink, I'll just have plain water." The girl collected your menu and gave a curt nod.

After she left Becky spoke out, "I talked to Mason yesterday. ____, he's worried about you. You haven't texted or called him since the divorce. He's wondering if you're okay." You did a deep sigh. You didn't mean to make him worry; you just have a lot on your mind right now. You exhaled, "I'm okay, alright." Becky advised, "I'm not the one you should be answering to. If you claim to be okay, then call Mason and tell him." You nodded your head, not saying anything further.

Becky could see that you're not really here; your mind is someplace else. Ever since that night, you've been more closed off than usual. It's sometimes hard to make conversations with you since all you give is short direct answers. You were always pretty open with Becky, proud to say she knows about ninety percent of you. But recently, Becky has been left in the dark about your feelings.

She worried to you, "____, I want you to know that I'm here... that I'm not some stranger. You can talk to me." You stared at your best friend; you can see the worriedness in her beautiful face. You're definitely not doing a good job of making the people who care about you feel calm. You were ready to talk to Becky, but then the young waitress came up and brought the food. "Here's the wrap with no bell peppers for you," She gave Becky her food, and then you, "Here's your wrap with bell peppers. And your guy's drinks." Once she placed everything down, she added, "If you need anything just call me." And with that, the girl left.

Becky had noticed that you were about to say something. "What were you going to say, ____?" You begged, "Can we talk about this after we finished eating, Beck? Please?" Becky didn't want to push your buttons, so, she agreed to continue the conversation later.

Around thirty minutes later, you and Becky finished your lunch. You guys were now entering your car with a full stomach. Once you guys had your seatbelts buckled, you pulled out of the parking lot. The vehicle was silent, just a whispered voice singing through the stereo.

"Let's go to a park." Becky had broken the silence with her suggestion. You slightly turned your eyes to your best friend. "A park?" you questioned. Becky replied with a yes. With your eyes back on the road, you took some time thinking about the reason for the random pop-up. Then you remembered what you said at the restaurant. "To talk?" your voice laced with caution. Becky replied with another yes. You sucked in your cheeks and nodded. "Sure, why not."

You two arrived at a random park. The area didn't have a lot of people, which for you was great. You put your car in park and pumped up the air conditioning. It was silent yet again. Becky wanted to speak up, but she also wanted you to open up to her on your own. You were trying to figure out what to say to Becky without sounding incoherent. It took a minute before words left your mouth.

"Remember how I said I saw my ex that night?" Beck nodded her head. You continued, "Well, ever since that night I've been feeling lost... or I guess confused - I don't really know how to describe it. But seeing him made my heart swell with longing, but he was not the same as before. What happened that night rearranged my view - my feelings into something unbearable. The more I think about it, the more I know that I'm the reason for this pain. This feeling... it's like it's growing bigger, and it fills my heart with ache. I feel like I'm gonna be gone if these feelings keep being bottled."

Becky furrowed her brows; she was confused by your last sentence. "What do you mean 'gone', ____?" You gulped down some spit, "I mean that if I keep feeling like this, my sense of warmth might be extinguished." Becky's heart broke hearing her best friend say that she might lose any type of love. You've always been there for her, even when you were at your lowest. Becky said something that she might hope will help you. "Maybe you should try talking to him. Find some closure, ____."

You dropped your head to the steering wheel and gripped the sides. You shook your head at your friend's request; you explained, "I can't talk to him, Beck. You know, the last thing he said to me that night was that I was dead to him." You faced Becky. "Beck, he hates me... deeply. And I can't blame him, 'cause I hate myself too."

Becky turned her body completely towards you. She didn't want you to think badly about yourself. "____, don't say that." Just like Becky, you turned your body as well. Your frustration was building. "What am I supposed to say then, Becky? It's my fault that things are like this." Your voice started rising up, "It's my fault that we're broken! If you were there that day, Beck, you would've hated me as well."

Tears started freely flowing down. You grabbed your shirt and cried, "You didn't see the way his face looked when I told him that I accepted the marriage. You didn't feel the want in his hug - in his kiss when he begged for me to stay. You didn't hear the pain in his voice when he told me that I broke him. Becky, I left him alone and broken. I destroyed him. So, please... don't tell me that I shouldn't have said what I have said."

Becky hugged you the minute you ended your sentence. Her tears silently fell, while yours were loud and clear. Becky felt her shirt dampen, but she didn't care. You had wrapped your arms around your best friend tightly, holding on to her while you poured out your pain. You choked out, "I tried telling my parents that I didn't want this. I tried, Becky, I tried." Becky gently petted your hair and said, "I know, ____."

A Few minutes go by, and your crying had subsided. You pulled away from Becky and grabbed some tissues that were placed in the cup holder. You wiped your face from all the tears and snot. Becky softly rubbed your eyes and calmly said, "I wasn't there, so because of that I don't hate you. And if I was there, I still wouldn't have hated you, ____. Even though you couldn't stop your parents, you were still strong enough to try. That itself tells me how much you love this man. I know that I'll probably never be able to understand this pain, but one thing I do understand is the unbelievable love one person can have for the other. ____, this type of love is so powerful, it can heal the weak, but it can also destroy the strong. I know you said that you can't talk to him, but I think you should. If you don't... this feeling will keep being bottled - and just like you said, you'll be gone. I don't want that. So, just try talking to him."

Two years ago (the break up)

You had just gotten done having the meeting of your life with your parents. The discussion for an arranged marriage for you has been brought forth a week ago. Your parents wanted to expand their company by joining another company that was owned by their friends. They thought that marrying you with Mason would bring more publicity and fortunes to their companies. Your parents had known that you were already in a relationship, but they're the type of parents that don't care for their kids' opinions or feelings.

When they had announced that they were going to be marrying you, you shot them down the second the words had left their mouths. You left the room not giving them any time to say something back to you. You didn't want to hear it. That day, you held off on telling Jungkook about your parent's announcement. You had thought that they would respect your decision not to go through with this marriage. You thought that the discussion would end and there would be no reason to tell Jungkook, until today.

Your parents had called you to their office, and right when you entered the room, they dropped the bomb and told you that having this marriage is inevitable. You tried convincing them that this is not what you want, that you are happy with your life; loving and having Jungkook is all you want, but they didn't care. The only thought they had in their mind was strengthening their company. The debate went on for so long, with you crying and your parent's shouting.

They told you that if you didn't go through with this, they wouldn't hesitate on making Jungkook's life hell, starting with deporting his father. You called their bluff, telling them that they're not that cruel, but once they had ICE on call you were forced to agree. Your parents had a satisfying smirk knowing that their plan was working. You had gone up to your parents, wanting to physically hurt them, but your father beat you to it. He had slapped you right across the face, and even more, he did not hold back on giving you a right hook on your stomach. Your mother had a displeasing look on her face when you spat out vulgar words at them.

You ran out of their building to find sanctuary in your car. You didn't cry because of the pain your parents inflicted on you; you were crying because you were now going to be tied to someone who wasn't the love of your life; Jungkook. It took you a few minutes to calm down your breathing, and your crying, but once you did, you texted Jungkook that you were going to drive to his place for something important.

Jungkook got a bit nervous with your message; he tried calling you to see if you were okay, but you didn't answer. You didn't want him to hear the choked pain in your voice.

Here you are driving to your boyfriend's apartment, with blurry eyes. You know that driving in this state is unsafe, but you didn't care. You were lucky to have not run over any red lights or gotten pulled over for speeding. You pulled up to your boyfriend's apartment unscathed and without any tickets. You saw Jungkook pacing around his front door with a worried expression.

When he spotted you, he ran to your car door and hugged you. He expressed, "Baby, why weren't you answering my calls? I was worried about you." You couldn't speak; your body frozen was in panic. Jungkook noticed; he tried picking you up, but your legs collapsed on top of each other. He bent down to check for any injuries. Jungkook searched your body, and then he came across your face.

He let out a short breath, "____, your face! Your cheek! Baby, what happened?" You rasped out, "Can we take this inside? Please?" Instead of answering, Jungkook carefully picked you up and helped you to his apartment. He sat you down on his little sofa, with him going to the kitchen to get you an ice pack.

Your boyfriend returned and placed the cold pack on your bruising cheek. He wanted to question why you needed to talk, why you looked like you'd been crying so much, why your cheek is bruising, but he didn't want to bombard you with so many questions. He wanted you to talk to him when you were calm and ready.

You were trying to think of ways to break down the marriage to him, but no matter how you were to say it, you know that Jungkook would be hurt. Your head was down, but you could feel the anxious stare your boyfriend was giving you. You tried mustering up some words to say, but all that came out was unstable breaths.

Seeing you in this state had Jungkook on edge. He's never seen you like this before, and it quite terrifies him. Seeing you made his heart churn with indescribable panic. All that he could do was hold you, waiting for your mind to be steady.

The clock kept ticking and you still hadn't said anything. You just stared at the floor, with nothing but fidgeting eyes. Jungkook was a patient man, but in this scenario, he was feeling a bit restless. Jungkook tried speaking up, "Babe, ar-" You cut him off, blurting out your proclamation, "I'm getting married."

Jungkook's whole world stopped when those words left your mouth; he felt his heart drop. He stood up and raked his fingers through his hair. You were still seated, watching your boyfriend getting stressed. Your body was still, but you felt your tears slowly fall. The moment you said the words, you knew, you knew that everything was will never be the same.

Jungkook's heart was racing faster than the speed of light. His body felt cold, like what you had said dumped ice all over him. He couldn't control his breathing; his chest heaving up and down in a disbelief manner. He turned to you, catching sight of your broken spirit. He would usually hug you - comfort you, but all he wanted to do right now is ask you, his questions. Jungkook shakingly said, "Are you serious? 'Cause if you're playing with me right now, ____, I'll forgive you. We can move on with this horrible joke of yours." He tired laughing, hoping that you were joking.

You faced back down on the floor; your tears making it hard to see anything. With his question, you shyly nodded your head. You heard Jungkook release a pain exhale. You could feel the pain steaming off of him. You didn't want to lift your head; you were scared of the sight you might see.

You heard Jungkook gasping for air like he was finding it hard to function. You tried muffling your sobs that were escaping, but it didn't work. Jungkook demanded, "Look at me, ____." You couldn't. How could you? After what you said, you don't have the strength to face him. He demanded again, "____, look at me." this time you can hear the plead in his voice.

You lift your head, hating the sight you were seeing. The one person who you never wanted to hurt, showed a face full of agony. You did this to him. Your tears were now rapidly flowing; you tried wiping them away, but they did not prevail.

Jungkook didn't know why you were hurting. He had every reason to feel like this, but you? His voice rasped out his questions, "W-was it me? Did I do something wrong? Wa... was I not good enough for you, ____?" You vigorously shook your head. All his questions were far from it. "Then why?" Jungkook gripped his shirt; his voice was rising. He cried to you, "Why a-are you doing this to me? Did you have a relationship with this guy, and you didn't tell me? Is-is that the reason you're marrying him and not me?"

You stood up quickly, crying to him that his questions were not the reason. He repeated, "Then why?" You couldn't tell him why. You didn't want him to know, because if you did, you knew that he would tell you not to worry about him. He would tell you that you guys can fight through this, but he doesn't know your parents. The vile things they can do to him and his parents. So, you left that part out, "My parents want to wed me with a friend's son to bring more success to both companies."

Jungkook nodded his head, feeling somewhat hopeful that you didn't agree; your parents just told you, you were getting married. "Okay, this was all your parents. Baby, just decline them and then we can go back to normal." You saw him optimistically smile. You wished that was the case; you wished it was that easy. You brokenly said, "No, Jungkook. It was my decision... I accepted the marriage."

Jungkook cried yet again. Why would he think that? Stupid! He felt stupid. "Why would you accept it? You're not happy with me, are you?" You told him a white lie, "I think that as their daughter, I need to do this." Jungkook shook his head, not believing you. "What about what you want? ____, I thought that what we have is everything and more, but you seem so willing to let go of our five years. Is this truly what you want?"

You wanted to say no. You wanted to be with him forever; that this marriage is not what you want, but the words got stuck in your throat. You didn't know what to say. Jungkook knows you like the back of his hand; he could see the hesitation; he could see your body frozen in contemplation. He knows deep down that you don't want this. So, why are you doing this?

Jungkook walked towards you, holding you tenderly in his arms. Dipping his head to the crook of your neck, breathing you in like always. "____, stay with me." Your eyes were hurting from all the crying, but you couldn't help it. Jungkook felt your body tremble; he felt your tears sliding down your face, down your neck, and onto his face, it only made him hold you tighter. He felt himself crying just as hard as you. "Stay with me, ____." He let you go, only for him to cup your face, and give you a passionate kiss. "Please, baby. I need you to stay with me. Can you stay with me?"

You could feel the want in his hug - in his kiss, but you couldn't - you wouldn't drag him down, because of your love. You didn't want him and his parents to suffer because of you. You saw his eyes begging you to say yes. You know that your answer was going to hurt him, but rather this than the long-suffering pain he would feel to lose his father. Pushed him off of you, and you let out a strangled sob. You saw pain taking hold of him. You wailed, "I can't... I won't stay with you, Jungkook. I could never forgive myself if I did."

You saw him clutch a part of his shirt where his heart was. You heard him whimpering. Jungkook hiccupped, "____, please don't do this. We can be together. Your parents - your husband won't have to know." Jungkook knew he was being pathetic; begging you like this, but he would go to any length if it meant that you'll stay with him. "I don't want you to leave me. I love you."

Your face scrunched up, trying to contain the pain you were feeling. His words sent an ache through your heart. You wished everything was that easy. You didn't want Jungkook to love a horrible person like you; a person who would lie to him, a person who would tear him piece by piece. The only way to make him hate you is to say the impossible, "These past six years spent with you, were everything and more. But I don't love you anymore, Jungkook. It's time we took our separate paths."

Jungkook felt himself die inside. He was shaking his head, trying to deny your words, but you sound so convincing. If he knew that this type of pain was to happen, he would've never confessed his feelings to you. The one person who he tied himself with, the one person who he gave his whole heart, the one person who he loved broke him. He whispered to you, "You absolutely broke me, ____. Destroyed me." He didn't spare you a glance; he walked to his front door, opened it, and yelled, "Get the fuck out of my house, before I fully succumb to you, truly!"

You knew that this was gonna come. You knew that sooner or later he would yell and say harsh things to you. Still, you could help but be appalled by his words. You carefully walked your way to the door. Tears come down streaming harshly, knowing that this will be the last time you step foot in his home. Right at the entrance, you faced your now ex-boyfriend and saw the stern and pained expression plastered on his face. You timidly said, "I'm sorry, Jungkook."

Jungkook swiftly turned his eyes out the door, signaling to leave his apartment; you did just that. You turned around wanting to at least say one last goodbye, but before you got the chance to, Jungkook slammed the door, leaving alone on a cold April day.

Present

"So, don't worry about me, Mason. Call me when you get this." You ended the voicemail.

You were outside the club waiting for your ex to be finished. It took a lot of thinking about what Becky had said, and you came to the conclusion that she was right. You didn't want to spend the rest of your life avoiding this, you wanted to have some peace of mind. You don't know how he'll react or how he'll be, but you just hoped that he'll be willing to listen.

Time was speeding up and your body was getting tired. Right when you were about to head to your car to rest your legs, a group of people exited the club. It was hard identifying the group because they were heading in the opposite direction from you.

If you hadn't spotted Carter, you would've thought that this trip was useless. You and Carter made eye contact, and you watched him whisper to another guy who had his arm slung over the shoulders of a pretty woman. You knew that the man was Jungkook. It wouldn't matter how many years have passed; you'll always be able to identify him.

You wanted to get closer to hear what was being exchanged but to be respectful, you gave them their boundaries. The group of people already left, just leaving the four of you alone. You couldn't see his face, but by the way, Carter is expressing, you knew that the conversation was getting frustrating. Your body started fidgeting, you were getting impatient.

The conversation seemed to have ended when Carter gave you a bright smile. He pulled the woman towards him and gave Jungkook a wave of goodbye. Now it was just you two alone. Jungkook still had his back faced to you, but you can tell he was annoyed.

You spoke up, slightly shouting, "Can we talk, Jungkook?" For what seemed like forever, he finally turned to you. He trudged his way to you; he seethed, "Were my words that night not enough for you to know that I don't want to see you?" You were blinking frantically. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"I just want to talk. You don't have to say anything, I just want you to listen. I'm begging you." Your head was down, eyes closed. You started fiddling with your fingers. "I don't deserve it, but will you allow me to be selfish just one time?"

Jungkook stared down at you. He's not gonna admit it, but he also wanted to talk with you. He took some deep breaths through the nose, and said, "Did you bring your car? Where's your car?" You lifted your head in an instant. You exhaled and gave a relieved smile to yourself. Jungkook saw your small smile and somewhere deep down inside him, he felt his heart swell.

You made a beeline to your car, Jungkook following closely behind you. Once you made it inside, everything was quiet. Not a peep was made from the both of you. You thought that since you wanted to talk, you should start first. "Thank you... for agreeing to this. I wanted to talk because I need to have this closure." You faced your head to Jungkook, but all he was looking at was outside your car window. "I feel like we can take our first step into healing through this talk."

Without looking at you, Jungkook mumbled, "I tried to feel something new with someone else, but all I could see in them is how they're not you." You started biting your lips; you felt guilty. "There was this woman I met around close to a year of our break up. She was a customer at the club, and all she ordered was a glass of water." Jungkook started laughing at the memory. "She started coming in more often, and I found a friend in her. She was kind, smart, beautiful... she was perfect. I thought that she was everything I wanted in a girl. But every time we tried to progress our relationship; I kept holding her off. All I could feel - all I could want was you. I didn't want someone perfect," Tears started to slowly fall down Jungkook's eyes. He faced you with his eyes red. "I wanted someone who messy, loud, clumsy... broken. All I wanted was you, ____."

You were choking on your sob. You placed your hand on your mouth, trying to cancel out any noise. Wanting to add to your pain, Jungkook confessed "I went to your wedding. I blended myself with the hundreds of those invited people. I saw you walk down the aisle in your beautiful wedding dress. You truly make a beautiful bride, ____. I saw you guys hold hands, heard your vows, and say your 'I do's'. I saw you guys kiss. I couldn't stay any longer, so I went back home. I laid in bed staring at my ceiling, it took me a while to figure out that I was crying. And I realized that my tears were no longer for you. They're for me; the me you destroyed. How could you do this to us? How could you do this to me? You didn't love me."

You shook your head, denying his last sentence. "Don't say that! You may hate me, and that's fine, but you have no right to say that I didn't love you. Jungkook, my love for you was infinite and it still is. You know, the moment I left you, I killed half of myself. And to this day, I'm still half a person. You know, I have spent the first year missing you, wanting you, needing you." You cried harder like you were reliving your pain. "My ex-husband tried consoling me, and it would work for a little while. But every time night rolls around, the moon brings back my pain. I'll never ever forgive myself for the pain I brought to you."

"It doesn't matter now. You ruined everything." You cried harder because he was right, but you didn't wanna keep being reminded. "I know! I know that everything is my fault. But please, Jungkook, stop reminding me of my faults. I hate myself enough as it is."

Jungkook questioned, "Then why? I want the honest truth now. Don't hide from me. Why would you accept the marriage?" Jungkook wanted answers that you couldn't give to him before.

Now that you are divorced, you have nothing holding you back. "It's true when I said that I accepted the marriage. It was fully my decision, but they really left me no choice. They were going to call ICE on your father. Jungkook, they wanted to make you and your parents suffer." You started shaking your head; your tears falling in the process. "I didn't want that to happen because of my selfishness."

You were crying, but all that Jungkook could think about was one thing. "Is that why you came home that day with a bruising cheek? Did those fuckers do that to you?" You were quiet; you didn't have to say anything for Jungkook to know the answer. He took a deep sigh, "Why didn't you tell me? God, I feel like killing them."

You scoffed, "What would you do if I told you? I think you're forgetting just how powerful my parents are. Jungkook, they will stop at nothing to achieve something."

He retaliated back, "So will I! I don't care how powerful your parents are, ____. If putting in my blood, sweat, and tears means that I could still have you, I will. It was wrong for me to say that you didn't fight back, but I would've started a war for you if it meant that we could still be together. If my father were to be deported, my mom would go with him; they can't imagine a life without each other. That's the same thing with me. I couldn't imagine a life without you, but it's too late now, huh? The chance to fight is over now."

You quietly asked, "You wouldn't fight for me now?" That question had stumped Jungkook. He wanted to say that he will, but it wouldn't sound right. Many things have happened over the past two years. Jungkook has learned to move on, to live without you. Of course, he's not fully healed, but after this talk, he feels like he can fully live his life without the pain you bring. But you, you were still stuck in the past. You had hoped that maybe, just maybe everything would be back to the way it was.

Jungkook answered your question from the truth in his heart, "No... I wouldn't fight for you now. ____, what we had is something I'll always treasure. The years I spent with you felt like heaven. You were my haven. You were my first everything, I could never forget that. I wished it had been me standing at the altar. I wished it had been me marrying you. I wish for a lot of things, but those are just wishes. Two years isn't a lot of time, but during that period I've learned to move on with my life."

Jungkook cupped your crying face. He held you tenderly. His eyes filled with sorrow. "I loved you so much, ____. Actually, I-I still love you. I don't think I'll stop loving you. We were just two people who loved each other but weren't meant to be." He started wiping your fallen tears.

Jungkook gave you one last kiss. You guys kissed with so much love and regret. The tears from both of you made the kiss salty, but you guys didn't mind. You gripped his shirt, and he gripped your waist. This was truly the last contact you both will make.

Pulling apart was hard but needed. You knew that he was right. It's time for you to move on. You whispered to him, "I realize now that I can't keep holding on to something I can't have anymore. I'm ready to let you go, Jungkook."

Jungkook connected his forehead to yours, and said, "If once we're ready, faith will bring us together again. Whether it be in this lifetime or the next, I'll wait for you with open arms." You smiled at his words. You both know deep down that being together again won't happen - at least not in this life.

Five years later

Many things have happened in the five years since your guy's last talk. You had moved out of the city along with Becky and started room mating with Mason. The first two years of moving forward were hard, but with the help of Becky and Mason, everything started to feel just right. Your two friends opened up their own law firm called M & B Laws. You also got a job at a daycare not too far from their work.

Since that night, you have never seen Jungkook again, but you were grateful to have followed his Instagram profile. You guys would exchange DM's here and then, asking about each other's days, new stuff. But after the third year, the texts stopped coming and you guys were now strangers.

You were alone at home, and Becky and Mason were working overtime. In times like this, you wished you had a dog or cat, a companion to keep you company. The TV was playing Iron Man; you weren't too focused on the TV screen, instead, the only thing that had your attention was your phone screen. Scrolling through Instagram, and liking random stuff, you came across a post from Jungkook.

You sat up from the couch. It's been months since his last post. The picture that was displayed on your screen was a photo of Jungkook and a woman. You tucked your hair from behind your ears to get a better look. His post was seven hours ago. The caption from his post said, "Happy 2 years, baby! I'm happy to have circled the sun with you twice, and I can't wait for more. I love you, Yuna!"

You from before would've been so heartbroken. She would've cried herself to sleep, despising herself more and more for losing him. But you are so happy now; you are so happy for him. You looked at the picture and for the first time in a long time, Jungkook showcased a genuine and happy smile. His eyes weren't facing the camera, they were locked on the beautiful woman in front of him. His eyes were filled with so much love and adoration, his smile was shining with so much joy. Your heart's not broken, it's far from it. Your heart is healed, and your heart is happy. You can't wait to see what the world has to offer.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Beautiful Nightmare | JJK

excerpt | as a loving partner, you would do anything you can for them to follow their dreams, even if it means that you were to hurt them. and that's just what you did.

genre | angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

pairing | jeon jungkook x fem!reader

warnings | strong language, shouting, crying, jk being scared, hurtful things said to each other, reader being a little insensitive, long-distance (very minor)

wc | 2k+

notes | this is a very short story, i'm sorry

"What the hell is this?"

Jungkook came barging into the room demanding something you don't know. You set your phone aside and looked at him with confusion. "What? What are you talking about?" Jungkook stomped his way to you and shoved his phone to your face. He repeated, "What the hell is this, ____?"

You snatched his phone and skimmed through the words on the screen until you came across the last portion. Your whole body perked up, your eyes glimmering with joy. You tossed his phone to the area where yours resided and leaped into your lover's arms. "Baby, you got in! You got accepted!"

You tried going for a kiss, but Jungkook lightly pushed you off. You saw the scowl painting his face. Your brows furrowed, you were confused. Why was he acting this way? Why is he angry? You got off of him and off the bed. You stood to him and questioned, "Why are you acting like this? You're supposed to be happy, Jungkook. I did you a fucking favor!"

Jungkook took a step back. He wanted to laugh at your words, laugh at how stupid you're sounding. He looked at you with displeasure, "Favor? You think you did me a fucking favor?" He stared at you waiting for your answer, but all you said was something that hurt him. "What do you want me to say? Sorry? 'Cause I'm not sorry, Jungkook. But if you want to hear me say it, then... I'm sorry, alright. I'm sorry that I did something you couldn't do. I did this for your dream."

Jungkook scoffed at what you had said, he chuckled, "I don't care if you're sorry or not, ____. I'm not angry because of that, I'm angry because you didn't consult with me about this! This is my life you offered up! And that is not a fucking favor!" You flinched at every word he spat out. You've never seen him this angry, but even so, you still didn't understand why he was angry. You thought that what you did was amazing. "You're angry, I see that. Jungkook, you weren't going to send them your resume, so I just took the initiative. They were only hiring for a limited time. The longer you wait, the shorter it will take for you to get this position. This is your dream, Jungkook! I did this for you and if you can't see that then we're over."

Jungkook felt his tears well up. He understood your reasoning, but you weren't the best when it comes to understanding others. He wanted you to understand what he was trying to say. Your last sentence panged his heart. He was angry - yes, but he was hurt that you were ready to break up. He didn't want that. He stepped towards you and pulled your body to him. He cupped your face and kissed you aggressively.

He kissed you with so much pain, with so much anger and want. You gripped his shirt trying to close any gap between you two. Teeth started clashing together, quiet moans being swallowed, hearts racing, tongues fighting. It went on for a few more seconds until you pulled apart from him.

You opened your mouth wanting to say something, but Jungkook interjected you. His voice choking, "You really know how to hurt me, ____. I have feelings and they matter! We matter! And you can't throw us away - I won't let you. I won't let you toss me aside because you think I can't see you. I see you! Eyes wide open, I see you, ____. I understand why you did it, but you should have told me first."

The man before you started crying and all you could do was watch. You were frozen, you didn't know what to say or what to do. Jungkook continued, "Babe, there's a reason why I didn't apply. I'm scared... so scared. This company - this position is miles and miles away from here... away from you. And I know this is my dream, but how can I pursue that if you're not with me? I need you with me, and if I were to take this job you'd be gone. Nothing matters if you're not there. So, I'm gonna stay here with you where you won't be able to get rid of me. I'm gonna stay here because this is where you are."

It was now your turn to cry. You made this decision selfishly. While you were thinking about how amazing this opportunity is, you didn't stop to think about how this would make Jungkook feel. You didn't think to understand him. You tried muffling your sob, but it came out strangled.

Jungkook held you tenderly. He knows how you are. He knows how hard it is for you to express or understand feelings. He knows that you're not the easiest person to like. And even though sometimes you hurt him without realizing it, Jungkook will always love you. If being with you means that he has to love your frustrating and annoying flaws... he will. He will accept all of you with no judgment.

Jungkook stared at the window behind you and saw the shooting stars. He called your name and asked you to turn around, but by the time you did, it was gone. "What am I looking at? There is nothing there, Jungkook." He laughed at your lack of vision. He wrapped his arms around your torso and dipped his head in the crook of your neck. He softly whispered against your skin, "Look at the sky," and you did, "What do you see?"

You're puzzled about what your boyfriend is trying to get at. You wanted him to get straight to the point. You looked at the night sky and saw nothing but stars. "All I see are stars. Boring, small stars." Jungkook lifted his head to look at your beautiful face. You never fail to take his breath away.

"I saw some shooting stars, and I wanted you to see them, but they were done. Even though they're not shooting there are still stars in the sky. I wanted you to see that, but you," Jungkook littered the right side of your face with tiny kisses; you giggled at his action. "Have no vision. The sky is beautiful."

While staring at the stars, you had closed your eyes. You wanted to make a wish, hoping that it will come true after what you will say next. Jungkook watched as you closed your eyes thinking about something he wished he knew. Your being glowed under the bright moonlight. You looked like an angel in this dark world. Your beauty was something to treasure, to keep safe, and never let it go into the wrong hands.

You opened your eyes when you had finished your wish. You lightly turned your head and faced Jungkook. You were a bit confused about why he was staring at you. "Is there something on my face? Why are you looking at me?" Jungkook smirked, "Why? I can't look at my beautiful girlfriend?" You blushed at his compliment.

You fully turned your body to face him, wanting to see him eye to eye. You almost fell prey to his bunny-like expression; he looked confused to you but also enamored; you wanted this look to stay on forever.

You took a deep breath in and spoke, "Don't do this, Jungkook. Don't blow this away." Jungkook tried to speak but you held your hand up to stop him. "Let me finish. This company accepted you for a reason. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Jungkook! Who knows when something like this might happen again? I shouldn't have said what I said. I want us to be together, and I want us to live happily. But the only way that can happen is if you take this job. 'Cause if you don't, Jungkook, I'll forever hate you, and you will have missed out on a dream you could have lived."

Jungkook cried, shaking his head to deny your words. You gently grabbed his face, wiping away the fallen tears. You pleaded to him, "Please, take this job... move to New York and thrive. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here waiting, and when the time comes, I'll go to you, and you will welcome me with open arms." Jungkook stopped his crying; he looked at you sorrowfully. You smiled at him hoping to lighten the mood, "You will welcome me with hugs and kisses. I'd also like to be welcomed with presents. Maybe?" You two laughed at your ending sentence.

Jungkook engulfed you in a huge hug. Everything that you had said was right. He has dreamed about this for so long, and with the help of you, he can finally live it. He shouldn't take this for granted. He shouldn't waste this amazing opportunity. Jungkook murmured against your hair, "You know, you make my life worth living for. I wouldn't have gotten this far without you. I wouldn't have gotten this job without you. My dream starts with you, ____. And you have done everything and more for me. And I love you so much that words can't even describe this infinite feeling I have for you." Jungkook unhooks his arms around you, so he can cup your face and kiss you.

Your guy's kiss this time was more soft, gentler. He pulled apart and said, "I'll take the job and move to New York. I'll work my ass off for us. I'll get us a place. And when you come here, I'll welcome you with open arms, kiss you, and get you a present... Thank you, ____. I promise that not only will I not let myself down, but I won't let you down. I won't disappoint you."

Two Years Later

You finally arrived in New York, and the first thing you noticed was that it did not feel nor look the same as it did in the movies. You kissed your teeth and said to yourself, "What a disappointment."

A voice from behind questioned, "What's a disappointment?" You swiftly turned around and came face to face with the one you love. "Jungkook!" you yelled. Just like he said he would, Jungkook welcomed you with open arms. He kissed you with so much eagerness, with so much longing. A few moments later, you both pulled apart breathlessly. Your smile beamed and your eyes twinkled; you were so happy right now. Just like you, Jungkook was also so happy. You had finally come back to him.

You turned your eyes beside your boyfriend and saw a tall one-year-old Doberman. You looked back at him and smiled, "Bam, is much bigger than I expected." You gently reached out your hand and called his name. You were scared that the boy in front of you might not like you, but your voice was enough indication that he knew you were the woman on the phone. He wagged his tail with excitement and barked out his joy. You had given him all the love you couldn't for the past year. You felt your eyes tear up; you had your family.

"Your present is big boy now.” you giggled. “Come on, babe, let's go home." You and Jungkook held hands and walked side by side to his car. Once you guys arrived, he helped put your stuff in his trunk and placed Bam in the backseat. You sat in the passenger seat, but before Jungkook went to the driver's side, he kissed once again and said, "I love you so much, ____. And I'm so happy you're here." You gave your lover a bright smile, "I love you, Jungkook."

Jungkook finally sat in his seat and left the airport. While he was driving, he held one of your hands with his. Bam was already sleeping in the back, so there was no need to worry about him. You looked at Jungkook and confessed, "I made a wish, and it came true." He promptly turned his eyes to you. "Yeah? What was the wish?"

With his eyes back on the road, Jungkook could feel your smile without looking. You announced, "I made a wish for you to be happy. It matters that I wasn't here. I didn't want you to feel like you couldn't do this without me here, because you can, Jungkook. You showed me not only today, but during the time we spent apart, that you can do this, and you did. During our calls, I could hear how excited and happy you were to take this job - to do this job. And that's all I ever wanted. I can't fathom how happy and proud I am for you."

Jungkook felt his heart swell with love. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't since he was driving; a few tears did escape his eyes. You saw this, and you helped wipe them away. Jungkook smiled and he said once again, "I love you. And I'll never stop saying it, no matter how tired you get from hearing it. I love you, ____."

The Path Of A Singer | JJK

excerpt | the appearance of your old lover pops up on tv, and the horrible memories showed itself once again.

genre | heavy angst, cheating, abuse, minor fluff

rating | 18+

warnings | strong language, present & past, toxic relationship, mental & physical abuse, jk cheating, panic attack, alcohol and drug consumption, lots of crying, heartbreaking conversations, jk being vile, lots of yelling, jk manhandles the reader, mention of abusive father, mention of ptsd, reader being selfless (you might not agree with the decisions she's made, but don't hate her; she's a broken person), maybe more

wc | 4K+ (very short)

notes | it's been a hell of a long time since i wrote and posted anything....!!!

my inspiration came from watching the movie insidious: the red door lol. the reason for the mature rating is because of the strong language, the heavy conversations said, and the talks of alcohol and drugs. i want to say that i'm not romanticizing this type of relationship or the behaviors of the characters, i'm just making a story that maybe some people might have gone through. sometimes the decisions made or thought of does not make you a bad/horrible person. everyone had a reason good or bad; you just have try to be understanding. i also tried to make this as heartbreaking as possible, but for some reason i feel like it's not. hopefully it does pull some heartstrings for you guys.

You finally arrived home after an exhausting day of work. Your roommate wasn't home yet, so, luckily for you, you're able to binge eat without the concerned eyes of your friend watching you.

You walked your way to the kitchen and made yourself some sandwiches, you also grabbed some water on the way to the living room. When you made it to the couch, you plopped down heavily. You grabbed the remote and started scrolling through the channels. You came across a channel that was showing a music festival, and without thinking about who might be performing you clicked on it.

The first performer was a group called XG. As they were performing, you happily ate while vibing to their songs. At one point, you started singing as well, not caring that you still had some food in your mouth. If the neighbors were able to hear you, they would probably think someone is dying - yelling for help.

When you finished, you got up put away your dishes, and made your way to your room to change your clothes. As you were changing, you felt a bit lonely. You and your friend don't have any pets, no companion to keep any of you guys company. You exited your room with a simple sweater and shorts.

You made it back to the living room with a content expression on your face, unfortunately, it wouldn't last long. As you were about to get yourself situated on the couch, you looked at the TV screen, and the one person you never wanted to see again was singing.

You fell to your knees with a hard thud, watching the screen with horrid eyes. It's been three years since you saw him. In those three years, you tried your damned hardest to avoid anything and everything that involved him in it. The pain he caused you still resides in your little heart.

You didn't realize but you started crying; the tears rapidly falling. Your body started shaking; the little goosebumps displaying your skin. Your chest felt heavy like a huge wave crashing on you, and the water is rising up into your nose, making it hard for you to breathe. You felt like you were suffocating, and the lack of air was making your head light; dizziness taking its place.

On the outside, you were frozen, but on the inside, you were trying to claw your way out. You felt like you were scratching every surface of your body, but you weren't moving an inch. Your brain was screaming for help, but the only thing leaving your mouth was the hardness and unstableness of your breathing. Right now, you were wishing for your friend to come home right now and save you.

Three Years Ago

You were in your car driving your way to your boyfriend. Jungkook's manager called you demanding that you come and pick him up. You don't really know what happened, but from how his manager sounded, you were thinking that he got himself drunk and high again, causing thoughtless actions.

Not too long ago, Jungkook was able to get into his dream record label. After years and years of hard work, passion, and dedication he was able to pursue his dream. What you didn't realize is that with Jungkook getting to follow his dream of being a singer, he would soon lose his sense of self. In just two weeks he was starting to drink, and in another week, he started experimenting with drugs.

As time went on, so did your patience. You would try and try to stop him - to help him, but every time Jungkook would stop your advances. Pushing you away and causing you pain made Jungkook feel superior, it made him feel proud that he reached a certain height in life.

Your guy's relationship now consists of yelling and crying. Jungkook started to mentally abuse you, but even so, you would accept it. You didn't have the strength to leave him - to leave the man you love since middle school. You couldn't leave the man who would write songs about you, the man who would wake up during dawn and make you a big breakfast, the man who would call you no matter the time, the man who would always tell you how much he loves you every second of the day. You didn't have the strength to leave him.

With all your anger, you finally made it to the studio in one piece. When you entered the building, the looks on the staff's faces were concerning you. One of the staff went up to you and told you to not go inside the studio. You looked at them judgingly and pushed your way through them, but they still tried to stop you.

"What is the problem? Let me through!" you yelled. They gave you a sad look and apologized, "I'm sorry ma'am, but Jungkook is very busy, and I don't think it's a good idea for you to go inside there." Your anger was boiling, steam coming out of your ears. "Sorry for yelling at you, but I don't fucking care if he is busy. Jonny called me saying that I need to pick this asshole up, okay? If you're worried about me finding out that he is high or drunk - even both, don't. This is not new to me."

The staff in front of you looked like she was on the verge of tears. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she got the chance, a disheveled woman left the room your boyfriend was in. You watched her with wide eyes as she left the building with a smile on her face. You stomped your way to the studio door ignoring the pleas from the staff. You pushed open the door causing a loud bang, startling the man recognized as Jonny.

Jonny swiftly got up and the first thing you noticed was the bloody nose. You walked your way to him digging in your bag grabbing some tissues for his nose. Gently placing it on him, you politely demanded, "Where is he, Jonny?" The man before you faced his eyes on the floor. "Jonny, you called me here, so, don't fucking hide anything from me. Where is he?"

The man took a step back letting the blood freely fall again. He shook his head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you. I've ruined everything." You gritted your teeth and threw the bloody tissue at his face. "Where the hell is he, Jonny?" you yelled.

A second later, Jungkook swung the bathroom door open with nothing but some sweats on. Your heart dropped from his appearance. It was evident that he had fucked the girl from earlier. You guys made eye contact, and you could tell immediately that he was high out of his mind. "Get out, Jonny," you said without looking.

When you heard the door shut, that's when you crumbled. Your eyes started blurring with the tears that were coming. Your body shaking with rage. You walked up to the fucked-up man and slapped him. "Why? Why? Why the hell would you do this to me?"

Jungkook harshly grabbed your wrists and laughed. He laughed like what you had said was something funny. You can smell the horrible alcohol leaving his mouth as he laughed. "Because it's fun, babe."

The pain rippled throughout your body. You snatched your wrists away and bellowed, "You're hurting me! You're destroying me! What does she have that I don't? I thought you loved me?" Jungkook towered over you; he grinned, "I don't love you." Your whole world died. Never had Jungkook spouted those words. It tore you limb from limb, slowly but surely. And that was all it took for you to call it done.

You were fine dealing with his hurtful ways. You were fine being the punching bag. But you were not fine being cheated on. Even with Jungkook in this fucked-up state, not once had he said that he didn't love you, and not once did he ever cheat on you. You felt lower than before, and you didn't want to feel like that. You knew that the moment he started doing drugs and drinking alcohol, the man you once knew would be gone. Still, you had hoped there might be a tiny sliver of him inside, but today proved - his words proved you wrong.

Your eyes hardened and your expression became stoic. Without trying to sound broken you seethed, "We are done! You fucking hear me? I am done with your shit - with everything!" As you walked your way to the door, Jungkook rushed in front of you and pushed you to the ground.

The wind got knocked out of you; you started bawling your eyes. For the first time, you were scared of the man before you. Jungkook locked the door behind him and dragged you by your feet. You tried kicking your feet, hoping that his release would loosen, and you could run away. But before you knew it, Jungkook locked you both into the soundproof booth.

When his grip on you was gone, you scurried to the corner of the booth shielding yourself with your bag. Jungkook walked to you and kneeled to your level. "Don't hide from me, baby." He gently grabbed your bag and tossed it to the other side of the booth. You closed your eyes; you couldn't see the monster of the man you love.

You felt Jungkook tenderly cupping your jaw. You trembled beneath his fingertips; quietly whimpering. It stayed like this for a few seconds until you felt his touch disappear. With your eyes still closed, you could hear Jungkook digging for something. You heard a rustling sound of a Ziplock bag. You knew better, you knew that he was using drugs right now.

"Open your eyes, ____," Jungkook demanded.

You didn't answer, you didn't move. This pissed off the man in front of you. He slapped you, making your body jolt, making your eyes open. You brought your hand to your cheek, tears threatening to fall. "See, it wasn't that hard?"

"W-what do you want... from me?" you stammered.

Jungkook seethed, "You can't leave me. I won't let you leave me. You owe me. All that money I spent on you, all those years I wasted on you - I want that back! And the only way you can pay me back is by being my bitch. You are fucking mine, ____!"

You finally let the tears fall again. Your whole body shook like lightning shooting throughout you. Shaking your head, you wailed, "No! No! No! Please! Don't do this to me, Dad! Stop hurting me!" For the first time today, Jungkook felt his senses come back. Your words panged his heart.

Your mother was never in your life. It was always you and your father, but your father was an abusive man. He would try to find any little thing to blame you for, just for him to lay his hands on you; from hitting, kicking, even to cutting. You had met Jungkook when you were thirteen years old, he comforted, protected, and helped you. When you finally turned eighteen, that's when you moved in with him - that's when you finally felt peace.

Jungkook cupped your face into place. He frantically said, "____, it's me. Your dad's not here. It's me, Jungkook." His touch burned you; you felt like dying. You mustered all your strength and pushed him away. You gripped your shirt and yelled, "No! You're not him! You're not Jungkook! You're a monster and I don't even recognize you!"

Monster... That simple word rang in Jungkook's mind. Monster... Such a terrifying word. If he was a monster, his reason would be because of you. Unfortunately, all the drugs and alcohol in his system weren't enough to keep him sane for one minute. Jungkook launched at you. His hands wrapped around your throat, choking you, but still letting you breathe.

You started clawing your nails on his bare arms. Digging deep that blood starts making its presence. But all that Jungkook could see right now was red. He couldn't feel the pain you were giving him; he couldn't hear the agony in your voice; he couldn't see your wrecked state. Red became his friend.

"You are the reason for my horrible being. You are the reason why I'm a monster. You bitch! If you hadn't kept pushing me to pursue this fucking career, I would've still been the same. If you hadn't been so loving and caring and supportive, we wouldn't be in this predicament. I can't believe that I fell in love with a disgusting person like you. I can't fucking believe that I let you take control of my whole being!"

Right when you were on the verge of passing out, Jungkook released his hold on you; he backed himself on the other side of the booth. You were catching your breath. Your hands shakingly touched your neck, throbbing against your frail fingers. You were painfully coughing; mentally asking God to help ease your pain. Your eyes went in and out of vision; red and black dots were the only thing in sight.

Jungkook watched you with dark eyes. He watched as you were struggling to regain your previous state. He watched as you were crying from the pain, he inflicted on you. He watched the one person who was always with him, the one person who loved and cared for him no longer be the same. He killed you, painfully and slowly.

Present

"____, look at me. It's okay. It's okay." Your friend Lia gently held your face in place. She called out your name, praying that you would settle. She watched as you were frantically breathing; your eyes looking everywhere but her; your body shaking like the room was freezing.

Your panic attacks rarely happen, but when they do, Lia feels so useless. She wished that she could help ease your pain, she wished that she had the power to prevent this. But all she could do was hold you and tell you that you're okay.

Minutes go by until you are finally back. "____?" Lia cautioned, "____, look at me. Are you okay?" As you looked at Lia, you could see the worried expression painting her beautiful face. You hated yourself for making her feel like this, but you couldn't help it. This feeling will never go away; it gets buried six feet under, but once he appears they come back.

"Lia," you whispered, "I saw him again... on TV." Lia took a deep sigh; she hated the pain he caused you before and now. She wrapped you in her arms, holding you with such care. The second you were in her arms, you broke. You cried and cried, loudly speaking your pain.

Lia felt her shirt dampen, but she didn't care. Whatever you do to her, she will take it all in, as long as you feel better in the end, Lia will gladly be your tissue, your enemy, your punching bag. Lia murmured against your hair, "I'm here. I will always be here." She held you tighter; she didn't want you to fade away from her.

You took deep breaths to calm down your nerves. You pulled away from Lia and made your way to the couch. You brought your knees up and buried your face in the space between. You hissed, "I hate what he does to me. He's not even here!" This time you whispered, "And yet, he's able to bring me down to my knees... scared."

Lia met you three years ago; months after your event. You were just a newly hired TA. When Lia first saw you, you looked like a girl who was barely keeping her life together. You told her beforehand - when you started room mating with her, that you have PTSD and that your panic attacks happen from time to time. You didn't really tell her the whole story, just that you were in a very abusive relationship and that you experienced something so terrifying. She accepted you with an open mind and open arms; from then on, Lia became your rock.

Lia got up and sat right next to you. She wanted to ask you a question, but she was scared that you would hate her or push her away for asking. But this question has been in her mind for a while now. After taking a few seconds thinking to think it through, Lia wiped her sweating palms on her pants and inquired, "____, if you don't mind me asking... why didn't you call the police on him? You should've, 'cause I don't think he should be performing after everything he's done to you."

Your eyes started getting blurry; you told yourself the exact same thing, but there was a reason. With your head still buried, you softly replied, "It's easier said than done, Lia. I wished I called the police on him - I wish I could call the police on him, but I can't. Because in simple words... I love him. I hate myself for loving him. Even after everything he has done to me, and everything he has said to me, I love him. Does that make me a horrible person?"

Lia felt herself invisibly jumping out of the couch. No way does she think you're a horrible person. You're just a person who's been through something horribly traumatic. Her heart was filled with so much pain for you. Lia positioned herself so she was facing your small figure, and expressed, "____, no way in hell are you a horrible person. Far from it! I won't be able to say that I relate or know what you're going through, because I don't. But I am able to say that I'll support you and understand your feelings and decisions."

You lifted your head but still kept your eyes on your knees; you muttered, "I met him when we were thirteen years old. He was a very shy and reserved kid - hated social interactions. I remember..." you quietly giggled without realizing when you were remembering the fond memories, "I remember when he used to make small mixtapes every anniversary with letters. He wasn't always a horrible person. He used to be kind, supportive, and loving. One of my favorite things about him was his selflessness towards me. I loved that he would always think about my needs, what I wanted, what I was thinking, and how I was feeling, but in turn, he did the opposite for himself. It was a blessing and a curse."

Lia looked at you and saw the small smile showing. This look was rare for you, and every time it made its appearance, Lia would always treasure it. "He must have been a great person for you to smile like that." You furrowed your brows; you turned to Lia with confusion. "What smile?" you questioned. Lia rolled her eyes, "Well, there's no smile anymore."

You took a deep sigh and apologized, "I'm sorry for talking about him. It's just - just talking about him in this light makes me happy and warm... even if it only lasts for a few seconds." Lia noticed that you started tearing up. Your face was slightly contorted with pain; you were trying not to cry, holding it in but it didn't work. Your tears were freely falling, and Lia comforted you once again. You quietly whimpered, "During that time I called him a monster, but really, I don't want to remember him as the monster in my life because at one point he used to be my prince who saved me from one. I try to think and talk about him in this beautiful light that he used to be under - I want to remember him as that, but the pain he brought upon me is too hard to ignore." You started wailing at this point, "It continues to haunt me, and I hate it! I want to hate him, but I can't! I can't!"

Lia felt herself crying for your pain. She felt herself slowly dying by your words. It truly kills her that her most precious and beautiful friend is going through so much pain. As you both cried into each other's arms, you could hear Lia continuously apologize through her cries. You were so grateful to have such an amazing person as her.

Once you were calmed down, you pulled away from the still tearful woman and wiped her tears away. "Don't cry anymore, Lia." you sniffled, "What happened to me - what's still happening to me would never be fully cured, but I know that whatever happens next, you'll be by my side, and slowly but surely, I won't be able to be to feel the pain anymore. Okay?" Lia nodded her head with a soft smile. You're right, as long as she's with you and as long as you are with her everything will be fine. You guys are each other's glue - each other's person.

There is no doubt in your mind that this pain will pass by. You don't know how long that will take, but until the day comes, having Lia with you eases your heart from pain as much as possible.

"You mailed her my letter?"

"Yes, Jungkook."

The tired man finished his show with a bang, and even though people enjoyed his performance, Jungkook couldn't seem to feel all that happy. For the past year since he finished his rehab, nothing has felt more depressing.

The morning of that night when he woke up, Jonny had told him that you had left, and he was to go to rehab immediately. He hated you for leaving, he hated that you left him in such a messy state. Jungkook blamed everything on you. Jonny had told the ill man that if it wasn't for you, everything that he had worked so hard on would go down the drain. At first, Jungkook didn't understand why you left or what Jonny was saying, but as time went on, he knew that everything was his fault. His addictions and his abusive behavior were all his fault. The reason for your disappearance was his fault. Your pain - everything was all him.

Jungkook knows that there will be no way for him to fix the things he has done and the things he had said, but even so, he would try his damn hardest to fix it. When he finished rehab, Jungkook made it a mission to send you a letter every week, telling you about his days throughout the week, how much he loves and cares for you, telling you how much he is so regretful. Deep down he knows that he is being selfish, he knows that he should let you go - let you move on, but the helpless man is stuck in the past. The past is what keeps him alive. The past is his only source of reason. Jungkook doesn't want to let go of that one thing he has left of you.

Jonny felt so much pity for the man, he didn't have the heart to tell him that he didn't know your address. He would accept the letters, promising that he would mail them, but when night rolls around your letters would be burned. Jonny wanted to quit being Jungkook's manager, but you begged and begged for him to stay with the broken singer. You wanted Jungkook to at least have one person for him to lean on when things get hard. Jonny admires your strength - how strong of a woman you are, so, he agreed.

"You should just stop already, Jungkook. She's never gonna mail you back. I know your reason, but you lost her, and you can never fix that." Jonny was getting tired; tired of seeing the broken singer trying with no prevail.

Jungkook walked up to his manager and lowly whispered, "You think I don't know that, Jonny? Ever since I learned that everything is my fault... I knew that she would never come back to me. Yet I still hope - even if that hope is microscopic or nonexistent, I hope that I will be able to see or be with her again."

The fatigued man took a few steps back and lowered his heavy head down. His eyes searched the floor trying to keep his tears at bay, but it didn't work. The salty tears of this poor singer escaped and landed harshly on the wooden floor. Sniffling, the fatigued man uttered, "You think I don't know that you burn my letters?" Jungkook lifted his head up and saw the ashamed manager looking back at him.

He continued, "You're not as discreet as you think you are, Jonny. I went to your hotel room to ask for a favor... and I saw you burn my eighth letter with sadness swimming in your eyes. I connected the dots from there, and I realized that you never sent any of my letters because you don't know her address, huh? You're left in the dark like I am, huh? You know nothing about her whereabouts, about how she's doing, about anything, huh, Jonny!" The manager kept quiet; didn't know what to say.

Jungkook slumped down on the nearest chair with a hard thump. He leaned his head back with closed eyes and softly whimpered, "I now understand the meaning ‘You reap what you sow’… I'm never gonna stop. I know I can never fix this, but I promise you Jonny, I will never stop. Ten years - fifty years from now, I will keep writing her letters... knowing that deep down all of this is for nothing. I don't care if I'm shaming myself by doing this - I don't care about anything but her. She's not mine anymore but I'm forever hers. Let me live like this. Let me live with the consequences. Let me drown myself in this regret."

The destroyed man opened his eyes and gently moved his head to the side to see the lone figure of his manager feet away. With a deep sigh, Jungkook claimed, "You're just my manager, right? So, don't involve yourself in my pitiful life. Just do the job you were hired to do, along with getting my letters. Don't care what you do to them - burn them, keep them hidden, rip them up... doesn't matter, just don't let me know about it; let me falsely believe that you mailed them to her. Alright? Now please get the car... I wanna go home."

Helping Hand | JJK

Sometimes all you need is a helping hand.

♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (also a teeny bit of Jimin x Reader)

♡ Genre: Roommate AU, Best Friend AU, Best Friends to lovers, Smut, Fluff, Angst???? 

♡ Rated: D for Down Bad 

♡ Warnings: Lotte concert 2019 Jungkook, PTD concert black swan Jimin (yes these are warnings), Y/N needs some dick, jk is also pretty down bad, mentions of past substance abuse, mentions of depression, mentions of character death, very brief and vague mentions of su*cidal thoughts, this fic is heavy and horny please beware, jk a lil bit of a dummy, masturbation, semi public sex(ish), grinding, car sex, cumming in pants, fingering, oral (m + f receiving), overstimulation, protected sex (follow they lead kiddies), gets cute towards the end I promise~ 

♡ Word Count: 23.4k

♡ Summary: A double blind date was your suggestion. Everything about it should make him happy, but this sinking feeling just won’t go away. All he wanted was to get it over with. 

♡ Now Playing…: X by Tinashe, Backseat by Khalid, and Good Days by Sza 

♡ Author’s Note: A story from the vault of the 2020 works I started but never published! This was meant to be posted on Valentine's Day, but life got in the way so I’m just posting it now instead of keeping it for another year. Let’s just pretend 🤡 Happy Valentine’s Day to all the couples out there, and for all my singles, we’ll get ‘em next year 😩✊🏽 Also a big thank you to @kth1 for the graphics and @jessikahathaway for reading over this for me! 

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much :D

Fuck everything.

It was dismal that these were the first words that came to mind as you stepped out of your last class for today. 

It was dismal that these were the first words that came to mind as you stepped out of your last class for today. 

It was dismal that these were the first words that came to mind as you stepped out of your last class for today. 

To put it frankly, this day has not treated you kindly. 

These feelings of deep anguish were all caused by the simple fact that it was Valentine's Day. Couples everywhere were trapped in a lovestruck trance by the holiday, wanting to do anything and everything to celebrate. You had nothing against it but you were not in the right mental state to handle all of the affection. It made going anywhere unbearable, promotions for the perfect date spots all over campus, posts all over social media about your friends going out with their partners, every corner you turned you couldn’t escape it. 

After your classes, you were tired of it all. It just made the journey back to your little apartment even more exhausting. Lovey-dovey couples holding hands, kissing, being together everywhere you looked had made you so riled up to the point where you were even considering calling your ex, Incheol, to help fill that void. 

Why were you so hot and bothered? Sure all the PDA can get to any single person, especially on Valentine’s Day, but what got you to the point of even considering going so low as to call your ex again just to get some dick? 

It’s just been a long year.

It’s not that you wanted to go this long without sex, but it just ended up that way. After your break up with Incheol you really just weren’t in the mood to look for anyone else. 

When you first started college, you couldn’t really be tied down. You partied and whoever held your attention long enough was yours for the night. Unintentionally, you started a bit of a crusade with different guys around campus because of this. You didn’t want to, but you were just too busy for anything more than a one night stand. It was that way until you met Incheol. He was your first serious boyfriend and it was a nice, satisfactory relationship. You made some really great memories together, even the break up was clean. 

It sounds amazing on paper, but it made it hard to jump back in and start seeing other people. By the time you were even considering going out on dates again, preparing for law school began to take up all your time. 

In turn that left you with no dick for a year.

You swear if you see one more couple stuffing their tongues down each other’s throats, you might actually go insane. Lucky for you, your apartment wasn’t too far from campus, an 8 minute bus ride was all it typically took to get back home. It wasn’t too long before you were busting down the door ready to break something.

“Jungkook!!” You called, a strong sense of agitation in your voice as you kicked off your shoes, knowing you needed your best friend for support. 

You two had been friends since high school. It was when you both got accepted to colleges in the same city, after talking it out a little, you decided it would just be easier to share an apartment when you moved to Seoul. Now it’s been a little over 4 years since you’ve moved in together and became the best friend and roommate dynamic duo. 

You were first greeted with the sight of his shirtless back, the tattoos all along his right arm on full display, his fluffy hair was sticking up in all different directions, telling you he was likely just getting up. 

Jungkook was hunched over the counter eating his cereal, nothing strange, but you were in no condition to see him like that. 

“Jungkook?” You questioned seeing the peculiar state he was in. You hadn’t even seen his face yet and you could already tell he was exhausted. 

“Oh Y/n you’re back…” He sounded so drained. 

“Yeah classes are over for me, you didn’t go today?” You wondered, though the answer was pretty obvious. 

He shook his head and laughed tiredly. “Not after the night I had.” Hearing that all you could do was roll your eyes. You knew exactly what happened last night. 

“And whose fault was that Jungkook, you were the one who had to play and I quote ‘just one more round of cyber hunter,’ which judging by how you look now, wasn’t just one more round.” You recounted. 

See the two of you, though you were best friends, have some things about you that are just polar opposites. Jungkook was creative, you used logic. He liked the cold while you liked it warm. He was neat, you were oftentimes a mess despite your love for cleaning. He liked to procrastinate everything to the last minute, and you always made sure you were never behind schedule. Polar opposites in some cases, but over the years you’ve learned that it can be beneficial at times.

“Do you have to lecture me? I'm still like half asleep, it’s too early for this shit.” He sighed, eating another spoonful of cereal. You were not really in the mood to fight him, you needed someone to rant to anyways. 

You kept your mouth shut as you took a seat at one of your bar stools. “So did you finish?” You finally questioned. 

He nodded slowly. 

“2 minutes before the deadline, I've never felt so stressed in my life.” He chuckled lightly. You almost fell off your barstool. 

When you had asked Jungkook about his project when he was playing cypher hunter instead of working, he would always brush you off and say “It’s not due till before class starts, I have plenty of time~” The fact that he finished 2 minutes before means that he was working until 7:58 this morning. 

“Jungkook what did I tell you–“

“I know, you’re right, but I had things under control until I fell asleep color grading… it set me back like an hour and–” he rubbed his eyes “–and then you–” Jungkook’s eyes widened realizing what he was about to say and stopped himself real quick. 

He must be out of his mind or more exhausted than he thought, thinking about telling you about last night. “I– I uh got distracted…” he simply put, not wanting you to know how complicated his feelings were right now. 

Seeing you in front of him now already had his mind remembering the events of last night.

Jungkook put his spoon back in his bowl with a loud clunk. He only got a mere 4 hours of sleep after pulling an all-nighter, he was beyond tired. You could tell.

“And this Jungkook is why you should stick to the schedule I make.” You pointed to the board on the wall beside you. 

In efforts of organizing your assignments and remembering the countless deadlines you had, you started writing everything down on this whiteboard. You found it extremely helpful and when Jungkook, after seeing you use it when he was hanging out in your room, pondered the idea of doing it for his own work. Well, you took the initiative of buying a bigger whiteboard and sticking it up in the kitchen so you both could use it. 

Jungkook fell into the habit of writing everything down a lot quicker than you thought he would. He said it was helping him out but complained about still coming too close to deadlines that you decided to help him out by giving him advised deadlines in order to combat procrastination. It worked a lot better at first but despite your efforts you still found him in his room rushing to get things done last minute more often than not. 

“I know you’re right, I’m sorry,” he sighed.

Your brows furrowed. “You don’t need to apologize,” you tried to laugh. You were expecting a snarky remark, not an apology. 

“I’m still so out of it I’m sorry, I can’t think straight at all. Anyway, did you need something? You sounded pretty angry when you walked in,” he chuckled weakly. 

You were still a bit worried. “We can talk later if you’re not up for it…” 

Jungkook shook his head. “What’s up?” You eyed him suspiciously but you decided to continue. 

You took a deep breath. 

“I’msofuckinghornyI’msorryIknowthat’stoomuchinformationbutit’sbeensohardgettingthroughthedayandIthinkI’mthisclosetolosingmymind.” You sobbed. 

Jungkook nearly choked on his cereal. 

“You’re— You’re what?!” He coughed, somehow understanding your convoluted sentence. 

“It’s been hell, Jungkook. It’s Valentine’s Day and all the couples on campus have been all over each other and—” you laid your head on the counter. “I’m so lonely.” You whined.

Oh, did he know.  

Jungkook’s been trying his best to tell himself that last night was just a delusion, so tired and out of it that he imagined everything that happened in the wee hours of the morning.

His eyes had been heavy, the lights in his room all off besides his computer screen sitting righting in front of him, sharply illuminating his features. He was barely awake at that point, his eyes glassy, and probably had a concerning red tint to them, but he was determined to work hard to make sure every scene was colored the way he wanted it to be. 

It had been faint at first. His noise canceling headphones drowned out most of the sound, but he swore he could hear the faint buzzing sound coming from the wall in front of his desk. It wasn’t until the moans started that he finally took them off and understood what was happening. 

His face had flushed realizing what he was hearing. You were… 

Oh. 

He told himself it was just out of pure human curiosity that his ears tuned into the sounds next door. Even without the headphones it was faint, but it was just enough that he could hear the little groans, moans, even the way you whined, fuck. It was enough that something scary started to stir inside of him so he quickly put back on his headphones to drown it out. 

Jungkook tried to get back to work, pretending that everything was normal, but even with his headphones on he could hear you. His fingers typed away on his keyboard, his leg bounced restlessly, because the more time passed the tighter his pants seemed to get.

He tried not to think about it but with your moans growing louder, the longer he couldn’t pretend. 

You sounded so pretty. 

It was awful, you were his fucking best friend. He could have easily turned on some music, or actually listened to the contents of the project he was working on, but he never did. The more he listened the harder it was to ignore the quickly developing problem in his pants. He was so fucking hard and you sounded so sexy. 

At some point, lust took control, completely forgoing the morality of the situation, he found himself throwing off his headphones, forgetting about his project, and slipping his hands in his pants. Any sense of self control out the window. 

At first he tried to reason with himself and say he was just trying to ease the ache but as soon as his hand wrapped around the shaft, he was a goner. 

With a hand over his mouth, Jungkook pumped himself hard and fast, your pretty moans on the other side of the wall made it way too hard to try and control himself.

So many thoughts were bouncing around his head. He imagined how you might look on the other side, a toy between your legs, as you tried your best to get yourself to cum. He imagined going over to your room, helping you, fuck would you want that? He knew he could make you feel so good if you just let him. Thoughts of getting the chance, oh he knew you would feel so good around him.

It was disgusting, you were his friend, but the tabooness of the situation turned him on even more. He should have been ashamed. 

He was, but in the moment he didn’t feel it at all. As the sounds of your moans grew relentless, he couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t long before his orgasm was hitting him like a freight train, he spilled all over his hand, shirt, and pants. He had never come that hard before and all it took was the sounds of his best friend behind a wall. 

As his breathing slowed, the regret was quick to creep in. 

What the fuck did he do? 

What was the worst though was that little voice that told him it was real, and how much he truthfully enjoyed hearing you. 

He must be down bad too because he crossed some serious boundaries last night… 

Jungkook felt his face heat up at the thought. 

“—and so now I’m like, what should I do?” Jungkook suddenly fazed back into your rambling. 

“Huh?” 

“I was saying what should I do? Here I am single on Valentine’s Day, hornier than I should be admitting… Like Jungkook, it's seriously been a year!” You cried and you didn’t miss when he mumbled “You’re not alone” as he was sipping up the last of the milk in the bowl.

You looked at him wide eyed. “You too? I thought for sure that...”

Jungkook shook his head. “I’ve been trying so hard to get back on track that I… I didn’t want to get distracted.” You slowly nodded, understanding. 

Jungkook had been through a lot this past year to put it lightly.

It started back in your first year. While you were going around enjoying the party scene, hooking up with pretty much anyone you could, Jungkook had managed to get himself a girlfriend soon into the year. 

You remember they were pretty much together all the time. He was hardly at your shared apartment and anytime he was, she was right there with him. Yoona was her name. You were honestly convinced that they would get married someday, the couple seeming to be the perfect pair. They lasted for nearly two years. It was up until one day you came home later than you normally would, to hear the two of them arguing inside. 

You were nosy and a little tipsy, so you began eavesdropping behind the door. You were shocked at the words thrown at each other, and you’re almost sure you heard your name come up in the mix (though you chalk that up to the alcohol). Whatever happened Yoona stormed out leaving you to deal with an upset Jungkook who was on the brink of tears. 

You still blame yourself for convincing him to go over to her place a few weeks later to talk to her. You remembered being surprised by Jungkook being back so soon, but what you remember even more was the slam of his room door only seconds after. It took a good week to get Jungkook out of his room and tell you that he found her with another guy, who was a close classmate and mutual friend apparently. 

Things just kept getting worse. 

It really was the day right after he told you that he got a call from his parents letting him know his uncle, someone who he had been so close to all his life, who had inspired him to pursue a career in the film industry, had been in an accident. You can’t say much from there because that’s pretty much all he told you before he was on the next train back to Busan. He called you a week later after you began blowing up his phone (you were worried) that his uncle had passed and that he needed his space. 

He was gone for about a little over two months. 

It was also around this same time that you started to get involved with Incheol. He was there when the apartment felt so empty and honestly he was the one who really helped ground you and get your priorities straight. It was a match made in heaven.

You were cuddling up with Incheol one day when you heard the knock at the door. You still can’t forget the shock that you felt on the day that Jungkook came back. 

He was back, yes, but the moment he seemingly brushed right past you, paying really no notice to you or Incheol who was looking confused on the couch, was when you realized he still was elsewhere and hurting. 

You tried to be there for him, you really did, but any attempts you had of getting close and talking about any issues failed every time. 

He was distant. 

You blame yourself though for not trying harder and letting Incheol sweep you off your feet the way he did, but it’s like you started seeing less and less of each as the days passed. 

You had no idea about what he was getting up to, where he was most of the time. It really didn’t feel like he came back from Busan. 

Any remnants of your friendship seemed few and far between until nearly halfway through your 2nd semester in your Junior year. You had been getting ready for a date with Incheol later that day when you heard him come back, he was clearly disheveled and honestly looked so stressed. You decided to try once again asking him to talk to you and it was then that all the hardships of the last few months came rushing out. 

He told you everything. 

He told you how hard it was dealing with Yoona and his uncle’s passing at the same time. He told you the only reason he came back was because he missed you so much and that he had missing assignments starting to pile up. Apparently though, even after coming back to Seoul he just couldn’t seem to pull himself back together. 

Jungkook started doing shit he wasn’t proud of. He was partying, carelessly sleeping around, hanging out with people he knew he shouldn’t have, and he said he did things that he wasn’t even comfortable telling you (and he’s normally fine telling you everything). He let you know that he was also so behind in assignments that he had a meeting that day about them suggesting he drop the semester and that he risked getting kicked out of programs he worked his ass off to get into. He even said they were considering to expel him because of his sudden disappearance even after he explained the situation. 

It was that day when things began to take a turn. You assisted Jungkook in talking with his administrators to create a plan and helped him catch up on his assignments to finally get back on track. 

You were there with him through the dark days, trying your best to be by his side. You knew he wasn’t telling you everything that happened while you two were distant, at times he would completely isolate himself and shut you out. 

It was obvious there was more going on. Jungkook would sometimes lock himself in his room and you could just hear the torment that was happening behind that door. Sometimes all you could do was knock occasionally to make sure he was ok. You made him food and would stay by his door to try to let him know you were here for him. Other times he would tell you openly about the depression he was battling and would just want an ear to vent to. He was always vague, but you made sure you were a shoulder he could lean on. You even helped pay for him to get professional help, sensing he needed it, and the fact he wasn’t working at the time.

It was a rocky road, but after some time Jungkook started to convalesce. You started to see the life in Jungkook’s eyes that you didn’t realize you missed so much until one day when you randomly started crying when you both decided to take a break and watch a movie together. 

He was just critiquing the movie as he usually would, but it just made you realize that he was back. 

This whole thing did have some consequences for you though. As you were busy helping Jungkook, you started having less and less time to balance Jungkook, work, school, and a boyfriend. After a while it was decided that you and Incheol were drifting apart and it was best to just end things. 

As much as you knew it was the right decision, it still hurt because you really did care for him. You found yourself in Jungkook’s arms more than once as you cried your eyes out, binge watching your favorite series over and over again. 

Since then though, it really has just been you and Jungkook. You both would sometimes hang out with your other friends, but after everything that happened you just seemed to not be apart too often. 

“Well I guess that means we’re both desperate, am I right?” You chuckled lightly. 

“Too right,” he sighed. 

Silence seemed to come in between you two, but your mind was busy trying to come up with some sort of solution. 

“Wait… I have an idea.” You enthusiastically got up from your bar stool, a habit of needing to stand whenever you were working things out in your brain. Jungkook smiled when he noticed.

“What if we set each other up?” You looked at him but you could tell he was still very much so confused. 

“Listen listen listen. So what if we set each other up with some of our friends, like maybe you have a friend who would be interested in me, and I know I definitely have a friend who likes you. We pick a day to meet up and…” You voice got all sultry, trying to hint at the result of your glorious plan. 

Jungkook didn’t miss the way his heart tightened at your proposition. 

“Like a double date would be perfect. We could have fun and go out together which I think we desperately need. I could meet with one of your friends and you mine. We could hang out together, separate later in the night and, if things go well, we both get laid. Jungkook, I think I really might be a genius.” You bounced around, your eyes trained on him to see what he thought. 

Jungkook was just waiting for that sense of enthusiasm to hit. It was a great idea, but the more he thought about it, the more that tightness in his chest seemed to get worse. Why wasn’t he excited? He should be as happy as you were. 

Maybe it’s just because it’s been awhile? 

Jungkook forced a smile. “I’m down.” 

You smiled. 

“Ok so let's surprise each other. I already have the perfect girl in mind. She’s your type personality wise, she’s really pretty, and I know for a fact she likes you so you can have full confidence in me that you’ll have a great time, ok!” You reassured him. 

“That sounds nice.” Jungkook didn’t mean it, and he didn’t do a good job of hiding it.

“Do you have anyone in mind for me?” You questioned, honestly a little curious.

There’s that weird feeling again…

“Ummmm I think so, I’ll have to check with him though…” Jungkook shyly rubbed the back of his neck. 

He did for a fact have someone in mind. He had no doubt that he’d make time to come and he knows that you’re his type. 

Jungkook shouldn’t be feeling like this at all. He’s helping out his friend and you’re helping him out. And it’s not like he isn’t horny, because if last night proves anything, he definitely needs to get laid. 

He couldn’t seem to pinpoint why he would rather spend an evening with you watching another season of the Great British Baking Show than out at a club for an easy hookup. 

He was never the type to hate parties. Sure he was definitely an introvert and you’re the opposite, but he’s always had a great time going to them secretly whenever you would drag him along. Especially with the circumstances, he should actually be excited for this… 

Definitely something was wrong with him. 

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep? 

“Ok! Let me know as soon as you can so I can start planning~” He couldn’t stop smiling this time at how enthusiastic you get about planning. The look on your face had him feeling all warm inside. 

“Anyway, I have work to do so let me go ahead and get a head start!” You smiled, grabbing your bags. 

“Go get some sleep, I’ll fix dinner later so you don’t have to worry.” Jungkook felt his heart warm, a fluttery feeling spread throughout his body. 

He was undoubtedly the better cook between the two of you. He usually took it upon himself to fix dinner and sometimes even lunch if you were around. It’s not like you were horrible, it’s just the difference was that Jungkook liked to cook, and you did it because you had to. He would know certain spices, recipes, and would always add that ‘love’ to your dishes that had your eyes watering with how good they were. It was because of this that Jungkook took up cooking for the both of you pretty much every night. You would never hesitate though in taking up that duty whenever you were needed. 

“Thank you~” He meant it. He really couldn’t ask for a better roommate. 

And with that you were off to your room. 

Jungkook quickly put his bowl in the sink before scurrying off to his room. 

Only a little bit of light was shining in from the crack he put in his blackout curtains. The dim mood had him both sleepy and confused as hell. 

His mind was busy playing the events of last light over and over again. Your moans were still echoing in his head clear as day. 

This and the discussion he had with you had him realize just how horny he really was. 

It really has been a little over a year since he’s even been touched in that way. 

Maybe that’s why he was thinking about you so much, why last night he wanted to watch you, would have liked even better to help you. He needed someone badly because his best friend should not ever get mixed up in his sexual fantasies no matter how desperate he is. 

This thought had Jungkook quickly shooting a text to Jimin about them hanging out tomorrow. He’s got to make this happen if he’s ever going to get you out of his head. 

That’ll solve everything. He’s sure of it.  

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“That’s your roommate?!” The loud exclamation seemed to reverberate throughout the spacious apartment.

Jungkook tried to shush him. 

“And best friend, yes, yes she is.” 

They had paused the game they were playing together when Jungkook finally brought up the question he came to ask. His hyung was quick to ask for a picture and Jungkook pulled up your latest post on your Insta.  

Jimin looked at the phone and back at Jungkook, absolutely baffled. “Are you sure?” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

He sighed, a little confused why that was so hard to believe, and switched to a picture of you two together. It was the day you went out to celebrate finals being over last year. 

Jimin brought the phone way too close to his face tryna see if he saw any signs of editing. “Either this is the greatest prank ever or Jungkook your best friend is…” Jimin did that thing where he rubs his thumb over his nose and a giddy smirk couldn’t seem to leave his face. 

“Double, triple yes to that double date thing.” He quickly agreed.

Jungkook noticed the way his heart seemed to do a tug of war. That weird feeling he’s been having ever since you suggested this plan was back, but he was happy this means that he is closer to the end of this madness. 

While Jungkook was out of it, Jimin already had managed to get your Insta and switched to his phone so he could shamelessly stalk. 

“You guys hang out a lot?” He questioned. 

“Huh?” Jungkook snapped out of it. 

“You’re in most of the pictures she posts.” 

Jungkook smiled at that thought for some reason. “I mean yeah, we live together and we’re best friends.” 

Jimin nodded. 

He managed to scroll all the way down to a photo session you had when you and a friend went back to Busan for a beach trip. Jungkook felt his face warm at the sight of you in your simple black bikini, but his attention went more to Jimin who was enjoying the sight a little too much. 

Jungkook snatched his phone. 

“I’m right here.” Jungkook scoffed. 

“I was just trying to find pictures where you weren’t in them.” 

“But do you have to look at her like that?!” Jungkook didn’t even realize the words that came out of his mouth until Jimin’s face started to morph into something unreadable. 

“Jungkook… Nothing ever happened between you two?” He finally questioned, sensing something suspicious was going on. 

Jungkook shook his head, almost appalled that he even thought that. 

That seemed to connect the dots in Jimin’s mind. “You sure you don’t like her or something?” 

Jungkook felt his face heat up. “N-No-No, why would you even say that?” The accusation made him more flustered than it should. 

“Jungkook I’m not an idiot, you guys spend so much time together so I’m sure you guys get along well, she’s very very pretty, I don’t see a reason why you wouldn’t like her…” To Jimin it honestly seemed more strange if he didn’t like you. 

Jungkook turned toward the window, the city shining bright down below as the sun continued to go down. “We’re just friends.” His voice was static, but the words still affected him for some reason. 

Jimin looked at him questionably “Right... so you’ve never liked her?”

Jungkook turned back to his hyung “No-Well, I mean…” 

He leaned in intrigued. “That’s a yes, now tell me.” 

Jungkook sighed. “I mean… Back in highschool—“  

“HIGHSCHOOL?” Jimin nearly screamed.

Jungkook tried to shush him again. “I told you about how I moved right before my second year?” 

Jimin nodded. 

“Well it was when we were just getting to know each other. I’m pretty quiet so it was a little hard for me to make friends, but she was there and we got close and—“

“You caught feelings?” Jimin finished.

Jungkook nodded hesitantly 

“And how long was this for?” 

“When we moved in together. We had our separate lives so we weren’t as close as we used to be, plus I started dating Yoona around that time so–“

“Wait wait wait wait… so you liked her for 2 years?” 

“More like a year and a few mont–“ 

“Jungkook I don’t care about specifics, that wasn’t just like a little crush that went away, you liked her for a long time.” 

“It was highschool.”

“Highschool my ass, feelings are feelings. Now are you sure you don’t like her, or better yet, those feelings ever even went away in the first place?” 

“Yes I’m sure.” Jungkook noticed the way his voice wavered. He didn’t expect that to come out like that…. it made him seem so unsure of himself. 

“Ok then give me back my phone, I’m Insta stalking your cute friend or should I say my cute date~” 

Jungkook hesitantly handed his hyung’s phone back. 

A weird feeling buried deep somewhere spread throughout his body as he watched his friend oogle you. 

He must be going insane…

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“That’s your roommate?!” The loud exclamation seemed to reverberate throughout the spacious apartment.

Jungkook tried to shush him. 

“And best friend, yes, yes she is.” 

They had paused the game they were playing together when Jungkook finally brought up the question he came to ask. His hyung was quick to ask for a picture and Jungkook pulled up your latest post on your Insta.  

Jimin looked at the phone and back at Jungkook, absolutely baffled. “Are you sure?” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

He sighed, a little confused why that was so hard to believe, and switched to a picture of you two together. It was the day you went out to celebrate finals being over last year. 

Jimin brought the phone way too close to his face tryna see if he saw any signs of editing. “Either this is the greatest prank ever or Jungkook your best friend is…” Jimin did that thing where he rubs his thumb over his nose and a giddy smirk couldn’t seem to leave his face. 

“Double, triple yes to that double date thing.” He quickly agreed.

Jungkook noticed the way his heart seemed to do a tug of war. That weird feeling he’s been having ever since you suggested this plan was back, but he was happy this means that he is closer to the end of this madness. 

While Jungkook was out of it, Jimin already had managed to get your Insta and switched to his phone so he could shamelessly stalk. 

“You guys hang out a lot?” He questioned. 

“Huh?” Jungkook snapped out of it. 

“You’re in most of the pictures she posts.” 

Jungkook smiled at that thought for some reason. “I mean yeah, we live together and we’re best friends.” 

Jimin nodded. 

He managed to scroll all the way down to a photo session you had when you and a friend went back to Busan for a beach trip. Jungkook felt his face warm at the sight of you in your simple black bikini, but his attention went more to Jimin who was enjoying the sight a little too much. 

Jungkook snatched his phone. 

“I’m right here.” Jungkook scoffed. 

“I was just trying to find pictures where you weren’t in them.” 

“But do you have to look at her like that?!” Jungkook didn’t even realize the words that came out of his mouth until Jimin’s face started to morph into something unreadable. 

“Jungkook… Nothing ever happened between you two?” He finally questioned, sensing something suspicious was going on. 

Jungkook shook his head, almost appalled that he even thought that. 

That seemed to connect the dots in Jimin’s mind. “You sure you don’t like her or something?” 

Jungkook felt his face heat up. “N-No-No, why would you even say that?” The accusation made him more flustered than it should. 

“Jungkook I’m not an idiot, you guys spend so much time together so I’m sure you guys get along well, she’s very very pretty, I don’t see a reason why you wouldn’t like her…” To Jimin it honestly seemed more strange if he didn’t like you. 

Jungkook turned toward the window, the city shining bright down below as the sun continued to go down. “We’re just friends.” His voice was static, but the words still affected him for some reason. 

Jimin looked at him questionably “Right... so you’ve never liked her?”

Jungkook turned back to his hyung “No-Well, I mean…” 

He leaned in intrigued. “That’s a yes, now tell me.” 

Jungkook sighed. “I mean… Back in highschool—“  

“HIGHSCHOOL?” Jimin nearly screamed.

Jungkook tried to shush him again. “I told you about how I moved right before my second year?” 

Jimin nodded. 

“Well it was when we were just getting to know each other. I’m pretty quiet so it was a little hard for me to make friends, but she was there and we got close and—“

“You caught feelings?” Jimin finished.

Jungkook nodded hesitantly 

“And how long was this for?” 

“When we moved in together. We had our separate lives so we weren’t as close as we used to be, plus I started dating Yoona around that time so–“

“Wait wait wait wait… so you liked her for 2 years?” 

“More like a year and a few mont–“ 

“Jungkook I don’t care about specifics, that wasn’t just like a little crush that went away, you liked her for a long time.” 

“It was highschool.”

“Highschool my ass, feelings are feelings. Now are you sure you don’t like her, or better yet, those feelings ever even went away in the first place?” 

“Yes I’m sure.” Jungkook noticed the way his voice wavered. He didn’t expect that to come out like that…. it made him seem so unsure of himself. 

“Ok then give me back my phone, I’m Insta stalking your cute friend or should I say my cute date~” 

Jungkook hesitantly handed his hyung’s phone back. 

A weird feeling buried deep somewhere spread throughout his body as he watched his friend oogle you. 

He must be going insane…

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“Wait wait wait, you’re kidding?!” Eun Ae nearly screamed in the middle of the cafe. 

You gave her an ugly stare telling her to be quiet. 

“Sorry, but I never thought I had a chance with your “roommate.”” She sat back in her chair, amazed. 

“What do you mean? You’re totally his type.” You said remembering the girls you’d see Jk hang around when you used to party together. “And what’s with the quotations? You know he’s my best friend.” 

Eun Ae burst out laughing “I thought you guys were together or something if I’m being honest.” 

Your heart did a flip. “Why’d you think that?” 

Eun Ae put down her latte. “I see you guys leave together sometimes and I thought you were dating!” She rolled her eyes at your confused look “I see the way you look at him, I seriously thought you were in love.” 

“I mean of course I like him, he’s my best friend, but nothing more ok.” You chuckled nervously.

“Hmmmmm, if you say so.” She looked like she didn’t believe you but decided not to push the subject anymore. 

“Anyway we should go out and get some things for this weekend.” You smiled liking the idea of that, it really has been a while since you’ve been out. 

“Yeah, I’m free tomorrow if that’s good with you.” You mentioned.

“Yeah that works for me.” She responded by taking a sip of her latte. “By the way, where did you get your necklace? It’s pretty.” 

You looked down at the small heart shaped diamond and smiled. “Jungkook gave me it yesterday so I have no idea, I can ask for you though.” You saw your friend’s eyes widen. 

“He gave that to you? On Valentine's Day?” She looked at you a little funny and it had your cheeks warming up. 

“Yeah…” 

You thought back to it. Jungkook had finally come out of his room later that evening after you told him dinner was ready. You were shocked to find him coming out with a velvet box in hand. 

“It’s nothing too special, just wanted to give you something after all you’ve done for me.” He opened the box to reveal the little Diamond. You had to admit, your heart fluttered at the gesture. 

Eunae just laughed. “And you’re sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” 

“Yes.” Looking at it now, it did look pretty romantic. But no, this was Jungkook who gave this to you, he would never see you that way.

“And you’re sure Jungkook doesn’t like you?” Eunae asked, putting her hands on the table. 

“Jungkook?” You just laughed. “No, I don’t think he’d ever be into me.” 

“You don’t think? Maybe you’re just an idiot and can’t realize that her best friend is seriously crushing on her?!” Eun Ae practically yelled. 

“Yah!” You tried shushing her, realizing people were starting to look over in your direction. 

“I don’t know Y/n this is pretty suspicious if you ask me. But whatever, I’m still down for the double date. This still just seems like a bad idea but…” She raised her cup.

“To hoping we get lucky~” She smiled and you held your cup as well and clinked it together.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

The weekend came quicker than expected. It was weird, but Jungkook tried to get as excited as you were. He would see you happily bouncing around the apartment, counting down the days, but he wasn’t feeling the same way whatsoever. As the big day finally approached, the more that weird feeling seemed to get worse. He just wasn’t into it as much as you were, part of him wanted to tell you to cancel but he couldn’t ask that seeing how happy you were. 

Instead he just tried to keep his eyes on the prize. Make it through the date, maybe get laid, it’s Sunday. He had no doubt in your pick, he knew this date wouldn’t be an absolute dumpster fire and hard to get through. You wouldn’t do that to him. 

Why did he feel so weird? Maybe it’s just nerves about getting back out there? That became his next excuse he latched on to. It really had been a while. He wasn’t the most social guy so things like this can be a bit nerve racking. 

That had been his mantra. You’re just nervous, you’ll have fun once you get there. Over and over again, he would try to tell himself, but that didn’t make it go away. 

The day still came and he couldn’t escape the sinking feeling he felt as he drove over to Jimin’s apartment. You had decided it would be better if you would arrive separately, making the meeting an even bigger surprise once you all would make it to the club. 

When his hyung made it downstairs, as he was getting in, Jungkook felt the strangest mix of emotions. He was nervous, extremely nervous, and that sinking feeling was there. Why couldn’t he be excited? At the very least this was still the first time he was getting out in a year. The only thing he could think about was you. 

“Ooooo Jeon Jungkook. You clean up nice~” Jimin awed after he got settled into the car. This was also going to be the first time he was going out with Jimin. Jungkook would come over sometimes to mostly hang out at his place, but they never have gone anywhere together. 

Jungkook looked down at his outfit. He was wearing a suit accented with thin sparkly stripes and a simple black button up tucked into his pants. He permed his long hair a few days ago and now it was filled with these loose curls. It was a look for sure. 

Jungkook just laughed. “Y/n did most of this actually…” He cheesed remembering you pretty much took control the minute he questioned what he was going to wear. 

His attention turned back to his hyung who was looking at him strangely. 

“What?” Jungkook questioned. 

“You got that look on your face…” Jimin pointed out. 

“What look?”

“When you said her name, your face got all funny.”

Jungkook looked appalled by the statement. “What are you talking about?!”

“You were like, Y/n did this for me~~~” Jimin said in a mocking tone, exaggerating the smile he noticed. “What’s up with that?”

“Nothing! You’re the one making it a thing… I don’t even sound like that.” Jungkook mumbled, turning away. 

Jimin just looked at him, and then turned away. “I still think this is a bad idea. You obviously like her.”

“…”

“Don’t even try and deny it, I’m not dumb.”

“I don’t.” Jungkook said calmly, but he sure didn’t feel that way. His palms were sweaty and all he could focus on was the way his body reacted when his hyung put so plainly that he liked her. He made it seem so easy, but that couldn’t be it. 

You were his best friend. Any and all feelings were left far back in the past. He couldn’t like you. It was out of the question—

“Alright I’m not fighting you on this anymore. If you don’t want to see it then whatever, I’m enjoying tonight.” Jimin sighed. 

That would be impossible. You were best friends, roommates, nothing more. Yes, he liked you in the past but that was then. You both have gone through life and over time he just didn’t feel the same way for you anymore. You were his best friend—

“Jungkook, are we gonna go? We’re already late…” Jimin finally asked, seeing the way he was just sitting there staring off into space. This finally got his attention and he started the car back up. 

That feeling was just getting worse and worse the closer they got to the club. At this point he really was only going because of you. Everything in his body was telling him to drive back to the apartment and sleep away whatever’s got him feeling this way. Was he sick? Maybe that was it… 

It wasn’t too far away from Jimin’s apartment and so they were pulling into the parking garage before he knew it. Too fast in his opinion. 

It took them a little while to find a parking space, the garage filled to the brim with cars on each level. Jungkook could already tell the club was probably going to be packed today, but it was to be expected a week after the infamous holiday of love. So many new couples, new romances, new flings all celebrating the start of a brand new journey. Love was still in the air here in Itaewon. 

As soon as Jungkook pulled in he noticed the giddy smile on his hyung’s face. In this moment he decided what he was feeling was envy. He wished he had the same excitement.

“You ready?” Jimin playfully slapped his arm. He was beaming.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Jungkook’s voice was shallow and monotone. The difference in energy was uncanny. You wouldn’t think they were going to the same place.

“Where are the girls?” Jimin questioned reaching in his back pocket.

“Y/n texted me and she said they were at the front waiting for us…” Jungkook’s attention turned to his hyung who had taken out his wallet, looking through its contents. 

“ID… card… cash…” Jimin mumbled to himself, checking that he had everything. Jungkook was hardly paying any mind, too focused on trying to pep himself up for this date, until his eyes spotted the condom in one of the pockets. 

Jungkook’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. That sinking feeling seemingly exploding to new heights. 

“What’s up with you?” Jimin noticed the way Jungkook sighed and the way he wasn’t even looking at him anymore. 

“Nothing… just hurry up please.” 

“Ooo, is Jungkookie excited for his date?” Jimin tried to tease, but there was no laugh, not even a chuckle from the younger one. This was just getting depressing at this point. 

“Jungkook. Are you sure you’re ok?” Jimin’s tone turned to concern. 

“Yes, I told you I’m fine.”

“It doesn't take rocket science to see that you’re obviously not.” 

“…” 

“What’s wrong?”

“…” 

“Is it Y/n?” 

“I told you it’s not about her!” Jungkook’s voice was a little too high saying that. 

“Then what is it then? You’ve been all mopey since you picked me up.” 

“…” 

“Jungkook…” 

“I don’t know why I feel this way.” It was annoying, he was annoyed at himself. He was already ruining the fun and they haven’t even left the car yet.

“Hey.” Jungkook felt Jimin put his hand on his shoulder. He was surprised to see him look so serious. 

“I know you’ve been through some rough times and this is the first time you’re going out in a while. Do you think it may be that?” Jimin was truly concerned at this point. 

Jungkook sighed and looked out the window. 

“I know I’ve been making jokes about you and Y/n but if this is really about you being out again…” Jimin’s eyes were full of worry as he started rubbing small circles across his back. “Is that what it is?” 

“Maybe,” He was definitely nervous about doing this again, there was no doubt about that. “But don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I just need to get used to being back. I’m pretty sure it’ll go away as soon as we get inside. You just focus on your date with Y/n. She’s been excited to meet you.” He tried to force a smile. 

He noticed his hyung’s giddy smile at the thought. “She has?”

“Yes, now don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’m sure I’ll have a good time.” He was trying to convince himself more than Jimin. 

“Alright, but let us know if it gets to be too much.”

“Hyung…”

“Ok ok ok ok, let’s go! Didn’t you say we were late?” Jimin asked as he opened the car door. Jungkook took a deep breath before doing the same. 

“Yeah we are. We should probably run or Y/n’s never going to forgive me.” And with that the two friends made their way out the garage building and across the street. 

It only took his eyes a second of searching before he spotted you and your friend already in line to get in. Jungkook grabbed Jimin’s hand and pulled him to catch up with the both of you. 

“Y/n!” Jungkook called out and your eyes immediately met with his. You smiled and waved them both over. By the time they made it to you, they were noticeably out of breath. 

“You finally made it…” You sighed in relief. Your eyes trained on Jungkook checking over his outfit, noticing he put on what you picked out. He looked good, well good would be an understatement, but he wasn’t your date tonight. 

Your eyes traveled over to the slightly shorter man who was standing right beside him. You smiled eagerly, silently thanking Jungkook, he knew your taste exactly. 

His black hair was parted right down the middle, his long bangs cascading down his face and framing it perfect. Despite the cool chill of the February air, he wore black pants with a matching blazer held together only by a single button, a shirt underneath nowhere in sight. You even noticed the chain around his neck that continued down his body. If you didn’t know any better you would have sworn Jungkook’s friend was a Greek god or something. 

While you were gawking at Jimin, Jungkook’s eyes were glued to your form. He hadn’t seen you get dressed before you left. You were wearing a simple, tight-fitted, red dress that showed off your curves perfectly. Jungkook could hardly remember the last time he had ever seen you this dressed up. He didn’t try to show it but he was shocked. You looked really good… 

He certainly wasn’t the only one who thought so. 

His eyes went to his hyung to see he was shamelessly checking you out, before happily smiling at you. He was already putting on that natrious Jimin charm. His gaze then went to yours who had that same giddy expression that for some reason made him want to punch a wall. 

“Hi, nice to meet you~ I’m Y/n!” You extended your hand to the handsome stranger and he eagerly grabbed it. 

“I’ve been excited to meet you beautiful~ I’m Jimin~” Jungkook felt his blood run cold at the nickname and the giggle you let out as a result. That wasn’t even funny, why were you laughing so hard? 

Too caught up with his own thoughts, he was a bit shocked when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and in that moment Jungkook remembered why exactly they were here in the first place. This was a double date. 

“Jungkook!” You came over and put your hand on your friend's shoulders. “Sorry I almost forgot, but this is Eun Ae and she’ll be your beautiful date tonight~” You smiled before returning back to Jimin’s side. 

Just as he knew your taste you also certainly knew what he liked as well. She was absolutely beautiful. Her face was round, the curve of her nose accenting her features, the red tint to her lips lured him in. Her skin was like porcelain, contrasting perfectly with her long black hair and dark eyes that held a sultry gaze that made him shiver. Her body was decorated with a gorgeous short, silver dress wrapped around her curves, the back low hanging down her body, making his simple brain lose it at the slightest piece of exposed skin. She really was just stunning. 

Maybe this really was exactly what he needed. 

He never doubted you when it came to picking his date, but just seeing how on the nose you managed to get it had him feeling all funny inside. You both really knew each other so well. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Y/n talks about you a lot.” Her voice was sweet and he liked it. Maybe this won’t be so bad, he could at least try and enjoy himself. But his growing hope dwindled when eyes traveled back over to you and Jimin who had his arm already wrapped around your waist. The two of you were already smiling, laughing, and the more he looked the more he wanted to leave and never come back. 

It wasn’t too long after that the four of you made it inside of the club. As he predicted the place was indeed packed, wall to wall was just a sea of people drinking, dancing, having fun with each other. It brought back a lot of memories. 

The times you would bring him out and you would party together. It feels like so long ago at this point. It was just yesterday you went to your first party as college students. He remembered how he watched you go crazy on the dance floor from the corner of the room. You had pestered him to dance with you, but he was shy and cared way too much what the sunbaes all around thought of him. That didn’t stop you though and he couldn’t stop the smile enveloping his face as he watched you and you watched him, still trying to get him to join you.

Jungkook shook himself out of the memory when he realized he had fallen behind the rest of the group. 

All of you talked and quickly came up with a game plan for the night. You all would eat dinner together real quick, hit the dance floor later, and sometime after that you would split up your double date for some alone time. 

With a little more waiting you all found yourselves in a circular booth, Jimin and Eun Ae got in first with you and Jungkook sitting next to them on the ends. You all ordered soon after.  

“You didn’t want a drink?” Eun Ae asked after the waiter left. Jungkook just shook his head. 

“This idiot thought it’d be a great idea to drive here.” You playfully teased. 

“Yeah I meant to ask you why didn’t we just take an Uber or something?” Jimin questioned. 

“What’s wrong with wanting to drive here?” Jungkook pouted and you instantly realized the reason. 

“Ah I got it. You just wanted to show off your new car, didn’t you?!” You pointed your finger at him and knew the way he started getting all shy that you got it right on the nose. Everyone at the table started to laugh. 

“I worked hard for it…” He tried to interject but everyone was too busy laughing to pay attention. He didn’t fight it though because as always you were right. After working many different part time jobs over the years, doing odd jobs for friends, and saving everything he ever earned, Jungkook was finally able to buy himself a pretty nice car a few weeks ago. A sleek black higher end Hyundai was what he got for the fruits of his labor. 

What’s so bad about wanting to show off a little? 

It wasn't the only reason though. Driving his car gave him an easy excuse to not have to drink. With a history as recent as his, he didn’t want to chance going back into that dark depressive hole that encompassed him for a few months. It’s not like he hasn’t had one since that time, but especially with how odd he’s been feeling these days, it was better not to chance it. 

The last thing he needed anyway was to drink himself into a hole. He didn’t want to do anything stupid in front of everyone. 

The waiter arrived soon with a plate full of brightly colored drinks and Jungkook’s club soda. 

“So Jimin… I guess an easy first question… How do you and Jungkook know each other?” You were honestly curious. 

“College. We were in the same psychology class his first year and we’ve been friends ever since.” Jimin smiled thinking back to the shy kid that came up to him all those years ago.

“Jungkook, you need to tell me about your friends more often.” You reached across the table and hit his hand. How dare he keep this beautiful man from you for almost 4 years? 

“Look what happens…” Jungkook mumbled but there wasn’t any way anyone would be able to hear him with the loud music playing. 

“Tell me about yourself then~” You turned back over to Jimin with doting eyes. Even in the dim light Jungkook could tell his hyung was already flustered. 

Oh no. 

“Uhhh well, I’m Park Jimin. I grew up in Busan just like you both. Um, I went to the same college as Jungkook. I was in the dance department though and—“ 

Jungkook felt a tap to his shoulder. “What about you Jungkook, what do you study?” Eun Ae asked which made his own cheeks flush. It wasn’t for the same reason as his hyung though. 

“Film Production.” He answered back shyly. 

“It was one of my last shows I did before I graduated that I was scouted for the show I’m currently doing.” He watched as you gleamed with excitement. That look on your face was exactly why he was embarrassed. Jimin was accomplished. 

Not even 2 years since he graduated yet and the man’s already made a name for himself in the modern dance world. Jimin landed himself a great gig as soon as he was free from college. It was a big production that was directed by someone Jungkook remembers was enough to get his hyung to squeal when he found out that they wanted him to play the lead role. 

There are billboards around Seoul with him and his dance partner, it was a really big show and he’s seen many of his classmates and many other people on various social medias talk about it. You could even say that it’s gone a little viral— a young, hot, talented lead dancer in this production. People were definitely going to tune in. The one show alone managed to get him enough attention that he doesn’t even need to worry about what happens when production ends. Jimin told him how he already had a long list of coordinators who were wanting to have him in their next show. He was definitely still up and coming but he’s captured the eyes of the people, experts in the field, and best of all, a variety of directors. 

Jimin was accomplished, the most probably out of everyone graduating in his class. A few months ago he was even able to move into this really nice apartment, no roommate needed whatsoever. 

Jimin ended up explaining this to you all and Jungkook felt that sinking feeling continued to grow more and more. He hated seeing that look in your eye or the way you subtly would move a little closer as he kept adding more and more impressive stuff to his list. Jungkook grabbed his cup a little tighter, taking a long swig. 

Maybe he really shouldn’t have driven today, this wasn’t strong enough. 

“Ahhh! I knew you looked familiar!” Eun Ae smiled. “It took me a minute to place your face but a few of my friends have seen your show! I wanna go see it now.” Now even his own date was getting swooned by the amazing Park Jimin. 

How could he compete with that? 

All he had to his name was his Hyundai and student loan debt. He suddenly regretted bringing him here. 

Everyone’s eyes for the most part remained on Jimin even after their food got here. He continued to talk about his life, typical first date topics but Jimin was charming you and he knew that. You had that same stupid look that he remembers you had on your face whenever your ex was at the apartment. 

Jungkook was hardly there to see it but there were moments he remembers coming home to the two of you in the living room, your eyes gleaming as he talked, that weird laugh you would do whenever he’d make a horrible joke, or the way your hands had a habit of resting on his thighs. All he’s come to realize were telltale signs that you were in fact down bad. 

Jimin also had that same dopey look with you. You made sure to engage in any of the stories he would tell, adding your own anecdotes here and there before the conversation changed to be about you. You talked about your journey preparing for law school and Jimin had that same sparkle that you did in his eyes.

This was a match, Jungkook really nailed it with this one.

…

Sometimes Eun Ae would try and spark up a conversation with him, but usually they were all relatively short lived. It wasn’t like it was hard to talk to her, in fact it was quite the opposite. She would try and ask him general first date questions and a nice back and forth would get going. She would laugh and that would make him happy, he would as well sometimes. It was nice. 

But somewhere in the middle his attention would always drift back over to you and Jimin. Eun Ae would notice and the conversation would die out before it hardly began. He hated it. 

By the time everyone finished eating Jungkook wished for nothing more than to go home. The whole time that sinking feeling he’d hoped would go away only seemed to escalate further and further, this double date harder to get through than he could have imagined. He was too sober for this. 

It was you who suggested that you take your party over to the dance floor. Popular songs everyone knew were playing as the four of you made your way to the rainbow colored floor. Couples, friends, and singles all were having a blast moving their bodies to the sounds of the music. 

Your party made it through the thick crowd and managed to wedge yourselves in between everyone. You danced all together for a while, jumping around screaming the lyrics for any of the songs you guys knew. It was the first time Jungkook was fully able to enjoy himself, hoping this was finally the turn around he needed. 

It was that same feeling he used to have whenever you dragged him to parties when you both were in your first year. He missed it so much. Spending time with you and actually enjoying himself at places like this. 

That was until the DJ decided to switch it up. Instead of the fun, hype songs for everyone, the DJ announced that the next set was for all the new couples from Valentines Day. The songs transitioned perfectly, they were a little slower with very clear and obvious sexual undertones. 

Oh no. 

Jungkook watched as you smiled at him and Eun Ae before you decided to wrap your arms around Jimin’s neck. He wasn’t bothered by this at all and placed his hands on your hips. Even in the dim light he could see the flirty exchanges, the longing glances, and subtly touches. 

Taking him out of his dazed stare was Eun Ae grabbing his hand asking to dance with him. He tried to smile and pulled her close, but his mind was elsewhere.  

No… no he wasn’t gonna do this anymore. 

Jungkook turned them around so he couldn’t face you and Jimin and turned his full attention to the beautiful lady who was his date tonight. This seemed to be just what he needed to focus. 

The two of them talked, finally having an ongoing conversation. It was nice, very nice actually. Jungkook liked her, she was funny, pretty, so pretty actually. When the songs changed to slow dance he couldn’t help but pull her even closer. His arms were wrapped tightly her waist, his head buried in her shoulder. Jungkook was already planning the next time they might be able to meet each other. This is really all he needed, alone time, away from the others. He was happy.

But that didn’t last long. 

All it took was one glance over to realize they had turned around. In Jungkook’s peripheral he saw you two… You were just inches away from each other, your faces so close he had to look twice to see if you were… your arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, your fingers gently running through his hair, and Jimin’s grip on your waist had lowered even further to grab at your ass. He saw red.

Jungkook felt sick.

He quickly apologized before running to the bathroom. His heart was practically jumping out his chest, his skin burned with fire. As soon as the door closed he headed straight to the sink to splash some cold water on his face, hoping to soothe whatever this horrible feeling was. 

Jungkook looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t even recognize himself anymore. What was wrong with him? Was he actually sick? 

Jungkook thought back to you and Jimin and it took everything in him to not throw something. It was obvious at this point he was upset at the sight but why? He couldn’t even explain it, he should be happy for you?! You were his best friend and you were clearly having a great time. Fuck he hated it. Why him? Why was it Jimin? He couldn’t stand seeing the two of you together. Just the thought of it had him balling his fist. 

Why was he so angry? Jungkook let out a loud sigh, not even caring who was in here with him. It hurt so much, that sinking feeling making him scrunch up his face tightly hoping he could just stop it. 

How far was tonight going to go for you? Would you smile at him the same way that Jungkook knows lights up a whole room? Would you laugh at all his jokes, no matter if they’re not funny or not? Would you let him make your heart flutter, that feeling of excitement that always comes from a new romance? Jimin was a great guy, of course you probably fell into that trap. Would you let him kiss you? Your hands pulling him close to feel your sweet lips, a heated desire that you couldn’t allow to continue any longer. 

He remembered the condom in his hyung’s wallet. 

Would you let him touch you? Your fervent hands grappling, touching, pulling, needing to feel each other closer than ever. Would you let him make you cum tonight? Your desperate pleas on the verge of release, ready for him to relieve all that pent up tension from the past year. 

Jungkook’s back hit the wall, the thoughts becoming overwhelming. This was his fault. All of this was his fault. If he wasn’t so pitiful last year you wouldn’t even be in this situation, you would probably still be happy with your boyfriend. You wouldn’t need to crave the touch of Jimin. 

But he didn’t want that either. 

Jungkook just wanted to go back to the way things were before. Just you and him. 

At this point he considered leaving right now. How could he go back out there and see you out there with him? He couldn’t. But that wasn’t fair to you and it certainly wasn’t fair to Eun Ae.

Jungkook sluggishly made it back to the main area of the club, instead of going back to the dance floor he just took a seat at the bar, resting his head at the counter. It was probably a second before he felt a tap on his shoulder. It was Eun Ae. 

She smiled at the shocked look on his face and went ahead and took a seat right next to him. It wasn’t long before you and Jimin were making their way over too. Jungkook hardly realized though, too focused on the way your hands were intertwined. 

“I guess this would be a great time to split up?” You smiled at them and Jungkook felt sick all over again. 

Eun Ae nodded. “You guys have fun~ We’ll just be over here.”

“Ok then…” Your gaze turned toward Jungkook. “Treat Eun Ae nice ok~” 

Jungkook tried to smile and he nodded. He really should have just left.

“We’ll be at the other end of the bar, bye guys!” Jimin beamed pointed to the opposite end. Everyone said quick goodbyes before Jimin was leading you off for some alone time. 

He hated this. 

“Sooooo…” Eun Ae started, but Jungkook was hardly listening, his mind swirling with too many thoughts.

He didn’t even notice when she ordered herself a drink or when she tried having a conversation with him. Jungkook would try his best to focus but his eyes would drift over to you and Jimin at the end of the bar.

He felt a tape on his shoulder. It was Eun Ae again. 

“Jungkook.” She sounded annoyed, her arms crossed. She had every right to be mad at him. “Is there something going on?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You’ve been looking at Y/n all night.” Eun Ae sounded less annoyed this time, in fact her grimmer turned into a smile. “It really isn’t hard to see that you like her.”

Jungkook felt his blood run cold. 

“Ahhh I should have seen it coming, you guys are so close and a guy like you is never just single.” She sighed, taking a swig of her drink. 

“I don’t like her.” Jungkook tried to say as dryly as he could. His words said one thing but his actions said another as his attention focused on the way Jimin took your hand and started leading you back into the sea of people. 

Eun Ae laughed, it was a hardy laugh like it was the best joke she ever heard. “You’re joking right?” She was wiping her eyes, trying to calm herself down. But Jungkook looked like he was dead serious. 

Her face fell. 

“Do you think I’m dumb?” She playfully hit his arm. “Jungkook, you've been looking at her all night. I don’t mean to brag but…” she gestured over herself “I look amazing tonight yet you haven’t been able to take your eyes off her! I can’t blame you though…” 

“We’re just friends, I’m serious.” Jungkook sounded so dejected. He surely felt that way. 

“Oookkkk, well go over there and confess, change that right now!” She pointed in the direction you left with Jimin. 

“But I can’t! I don’t like her like that, I can’t like her like that! She’s my best friend, that’s it.” Jungkook was a little too emotional in his words. Eun Ae just stared at him, accessing what the issue might be, but she finally realized the problem here. 

“Alright. Ok. Jungkook, you know it’s ok to have feelings for your best friend right? It’s Y/n too, she’s beautiful, funny, smart, you guys are best friends for a reason. Why are you treating it like it’s the worst thing in the world…” 

“I can’t lose her. Feelings make things complicated and the last thing I want to do is make things complicated with her.” Jungkook had no idea why he was spilling his guts right now. “But I really don’t like her like that so that doesn’t even matter…” He tried to save himself but Eun Ae was seeing right through it. 

“I understand these things can be scary. I know you guys have been friends for years now, taking that leap can be difficult. But Jungkook, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. It’s hurting you… at some point there will be a ‘too late.’” 

Too late…

Jungkook couldn’t resist at this point and ordered himself a shot of whiskey. It wasn’t enough whatsoever to get him drunk but he enjoyed the warmth as it went down his throat. He held his face in his hands as the reality of her words was starting to make things obvious. 

Just imagining you and Jimin together made his heart ache so much it made it hard to breathe. As much as he tried to convince himself this was all a product of just being a little too close over the last year, he would actually have to be stupid to realize it wasn’t that. 

But admitting it was a different challenge. Making it an issue he needed to address was terrifying.  

He didn’t say anything. Eun Ae didn’t either but rubbed his back gently. 

The revelation was horrifying. He was jealous, so so fucking jealous. Jimin had everything, but the one thing that was his Jimin had to come and take that too. 

“I don’t… I can’t like her…” 

“I don’t mean to be that person, but Jungkook… turn around.” Eun Ae pointed out. Jungkook turned around and it felt like his whole world ended. 

You and Jimin were in the far distance, even in the dim light he could see your back against one of the pillars in the club, your arms wrapped around Jimin as he kissed you passionately. 

In an instant he felt his heart shatter into two. It was like the end of his perfect world, the lie had come crumbling down and he was facing the consequences. You weren’t his, nothing about this scene was wrong, but the longer he looked the more his heart pounded in his chest. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, it was too much. 

Without thinking Jungkook got up to his feet and looked at Eun Ae.

“I’m sorry—“ 

“Go! I’m rooting for you!” She cheered and Jungkook was pushing himself through the crowd. 

He couldn’t think whatsoever, his heart being the one that carried his feet over to the two of you. Furry, anger, sadness, it hurt so bad. He could hardly breathe. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he can’t be too late?!

As he got closer the more he got sick. He could see the way Jimin eagerly ran his hands down your sides, grabbing anything you could, he could see the way your tongues danced around, the more detail the harder it was to look. If he didn’t get there soon he knew his hyung would be dragging you out of a club, inviting you back to his fancy apartment a few blocks away. 

The thought had him speeding up as he made it up the stairs and behind the two of you. He pulled Jimin off of you as quickly as he could, an obvious agitation and roughness to his actions. Immediately Jimin turned around, a little shocked to find Jungkook there, but he could hardly process it before Jungkook was grabbing your wrist. 

“What the–” 

“Sorry, I need to talk to Y/n.” He didn’t elaborate at all and, maybe a little too roughly, started pulling you toward the exit in the back.  

“Jungkook what the hell?” You were clearly mad at him and honestly you have every right to be, but Jungkook didn’t pay any attention and quickly led you to the doors at the back of the building.

He forced them open, the doors parting violently, as he led you down the ramp. Outside was an alleyway, a dim light over the door that would flicker occasionally, it being the only thing lighting up the area. The sounds of the loud music from the club faded as the doors shut behind you, but the violent booms of the bass in the music continued to bleed through the brick walls. No one was out here but the two of you. 

“Jungkook?! Hello?!” You called out and he abruptly let go of your wrist. He started pacing back and forth, seemingly very distressed. “I don’t know if you noticed but I was clearly in the middle of something!” You said even more annoyed that he wasn’t saying anything.   

Silence.

“Did something happen?” You asked a tad bit of concern in your voice this time, but all you got was more silence. 

“Jungkook, talk to me please!” You begged, getting even more frustrated. He just dragged you away from Jimin for seemingly no reason and all you got was silence. You were pissed, you wanted him to say something… anything. 

You didn’t know how the silence seemed to grow even louder. 

You had enough of his games.

“Ok… If that’s how you wanna be then…” You were mad and you made sure he knew that. 

You started heading for the ramp but a hand on your wrist pulled you back, suddenly your back was against the brick wall and Jungkook was closer than you remembered. A lot closer. His grip on your wrist was still tight and you both just stared at each other, your breathing heavy.

Your heart skipped a beat.

Jungkook didn’t give you much time to think about it because before you could process anything his lips were suddenly on yours. He didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t know why he had brought you out here. You were with Jimin, but he didn’t want to think about that right now. Your lips were so soft and his entire body lit up with a fire he had never experienced in his life. 

This was it, everyone was right. 

The kiss didn’t last very long, he finally came to his senses to realize what he had done. 

Jungkook pulled away slowly, waiting for you to push him away, waiting for you to scream, waiting for that look on your face that told him you’d be moving out the next day, but none of that happened. Jungkook saw the look of surprise on your face for a split second. He searched your eyes for any indication of what you were thinking, but you didn’t give him much time to look because you used your hands to pull his face to yours again. 

Jungkook was shocked but was easily able to melt into it, him bringing a hand up to tilt your head so he could kiss you better. He had never felt like this before, the adrenaline was pumping through his veins making everything even more heightened. Your body, your lips, your hands, oh fuck your hands. They had moved to pull at the long strands that covered his head.  

Jungkook knew at that moment he couldn’t be your friend ever again. He liked this way too much for that to be possible.

You were so good, so beautiful, how had he not seen that before? Why hadn’t he done this before? 

Jungkook used his other hand to rest on your waist and pull your body closer. It just wasn’t enough, nothing was enough at this point, he wanted you so much closer. 

Jungkook sent you further into the wall, needing a better angle. You both got more antsy, fevorant touches all over, your lips hastily moving together, the tension that’s been building for years finally… he’s finally…

Jungkook pushed you even further, the hand on your hip going to your thigh and traveling up your soft skin, pushing your dress further up your leg. He needed you now, the desperation becoming too much at this point. 

Jungkook broke away from your lips to dive straight for your neck, planting hurried kisses along your burning skin. You gasped at the feeling and Jungkook ground into you at the sound. He wanted you to keep making pretty sounds for him. 

He decided to suck a little harder this time and the moan you made had him hurriedly chasing his hips into yours as he moved back to quiet you and himself. 

He could have cried at how much his body was screaming at him to have you.

Jungkook had zero regard for the fact they were still in this alleyway, he didn’t care whatsoever. All he wondered was how soon he could get inside you.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jungkook’s mind was hazy and the thing he could focus on was how nice your lips felt and how good it felt to rub himself along your thigh like this. You wouldn’t mind right? If he takes you right here and now…

Fuck, your lips, your skin, your body, so good, you were so good, so amazing. Everything happening and he just had to–

Before things progressed any further, both of your attentions turned back to the door that led to the club. A couple, smiling, laughing together, who were likely heading home walked out. You saw the way their smiles dropped when they quickly noticed they were interrupting something. They both tried not to make eye contact as they came down the ramp and headed down the alley. As they passed it was obvious they were talking about the two of you, them hushingly complaining about PDA these days.

Jungkook couldn’t even look at them, knowing what might have happened if they hadn’t interrupted. The awkward encounter didn’t sway him whatsoever though and as the couple made it out the alley, Jungkook turned to face you to see a pained expression on your face. The both of you knew what you wanted.

“Car?” Jungkook rushed out hurriedly and you nodded. You were about to make your dash for the car but you felt his hand pull you back and you looked at him confused. One glance behind you was all you needed to see to notice the very obvious problem that you had made.

Jungkook looked around, his face flushed, a sense of embarrassment clouding over him as he pulled you close. If you didn’t feel it before you certainly could now. It made you even more excited. “Don’t walk too far ahead…” He whispered and you got the picture. 

As quickly as you could you made the dash across the street and up all the stairs to the parking garage. Somewhere in the back of his mind he silently thanked himself for bringing his car with him and laughing at anyone who decided to make fun of him for doing so. There wasn’t any way he was making it back to the apartment like this.

When you finally made it to the car he couldn’t resist and pushed you into the door. He kissed you hard, not being able to stand being away from you any longer. The little bit of extra privacy and desire to feel you made him bolder, quickly snaking his hand up your thigh and grabbing a handful of your ass. 

“Jungkook—“ You whined way too loudly considering where, instantly having him chase his hips into you. He hurriedly picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist, as he leaned you against the door. The new angle allowed him to practically fuck you with your clothes on. Jungkook kissed you desperately, touching and grabbing everything he could, as he rutted into you. 

Fuck, he needed you now. 

“Jungkook— I need you so bad please—“ You whispered right in his ear. Your words triggered something primal inside of him. If he didn’t get you both inside soon, he wouldn’t give two shits anymore. He was fucking you on his car.

He felt like a fucking teenager all over again, you were literally right in front of the door. 

Jungkook racked his cloudy brain trying to remember where he put his keys. At the same time, your lips started trailing down his neck. You quickly found a spot that instantly had him moaning for you, a particularly hard thrust assuring you that this was the spot. As soon as you figured it out, you kept going, kissing and sucking, getting such pretty whines to fall from his lips. 

“If you keep doing that shit we’re not gonna make it into the car.” He groaned, so fucking tempted to just take you right now, like this. 

Where the fuck did he put his keys?! 

He haphazardly searched through his memories, trying to pinpoint when he had them last when it suddenly came to him. They were in his suit pocket. It couldn’t come soon enough that he reached his hand into it and just like he remembered, he managed to find the fob. 

He hastily pulled it out and unlocked his car. 

He sat you down and hurriedly opened the door. Jungkook climbed in the back seat and you went right in after, climbing straight onto his lap, and slamming the door behind you. 

Jungkook just stared at you for a second, his mind unable to process the beauty that was in front of him. Oh fuck…

You didn’t give him too much time to admire and pulled him back into a kiss, this angle making it so you could easily grind yourself against him. The friction made the both of you moan out, your bodies brushing against each other in a rush to feel. He wanted so much more. 

You broke away from the kiss and focused your attention on kissing his neck right on that spot, enjoying the soft sighs of pleasure he would let out as his grip on your waist tightened. 

Jungkook was going to lose his mind. He tried to come back enough to pull your dress up back over your ass. His hands were quick to feel, making you groan softly. 

That’s it. Foreplay was nice but it’s been so long and he needed to feel you now, his whole body screaming at him to take it up a notch. He wanted to feel you around him, make you his and his alone.

Jungkook hurriedly tugged at the thin strings of your thong. It took him a moment to remember the fact they were in his car, with how cramped it was back here, it would take you way too long to try and get them down your legs. Instead, he moved his hand and used his finger to gently massage your clothed bud, instantly earning him a gratifying moan from you as a reward. 

You were already so wet for him, the lacy fabric soaked and he could have just died right there. You were enjoying this, you were enjoying his touch… Did you want him as much as he wanted you? Has your body been longing for him, waiting for this day to happen? His mind was fuzzy so he didn’t think about it too hard, but it just made him that much more eager to finally be inside you. 

He got a little braver as he pushed your thong to the side, letting his fingers finally slide through the slickness of your folds. 

“Jung–Jungkook, fuck please…” You begged, throwing your head back in pleasure. Maybe in other instances he would have been more inclined to tease you a little but he couldn’t be bothered with you begging for him like that. All he wanted was to please you. 

Jungkook watched your face intently as he curled a finger into you, the both of you moaning out in the process. His whole body reacted, you were so warm, tight around him, so fucking good. If you felt this good around his finger just imagining you around his…

Jungkook couldn’t help rutting into you at the thought. Just wait till he fucks you… 

He eagerly got to work, a finger in your hole while he used his thumb to rub circles around your clit. It wasn’t his best work since he didn’t have too much room to work with, but that didn’t matter whatsoever. 

He marveled at the pretty sounds you would make, he could even feel your arms shaking as you held onto his shoulder. At this point he added another finger, hoping you could take him soo—

Oh my fucking gosh… In an instant he remembered a very important item he left in his drawer in his room. 

He didn’t bring condoms.

They weren’t at all a top priority in his mind since he really didn’t think he was going to have sex tonight. He was so disheveled about the date there wasn’t any ounce of him that considered he could very well be having sex at any point, but fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was the worst possible time he could have forgotten to bring a condom.

Jungkook took out all his sexual frustration of the situation on you, turning it up the notch in making sure he can at least make you cum. He added another finger and his attention focused on your neck till he managed to find the sweet spot that got you to whimper for him. 

You quickly used your hand to cover your month, the only one the tiniest bit aware of the fact that you were getting fingered in a public parking lot. But your efforts to keep quiet didn’t last for too long, Jungkook’s fingers brushing past the spot that made you practically a mess on top of him. 

“There there please!” You tried to whisper but it was no use. Jungkook already knew he found it and you buried yourself in his suit jacket. You were going to scream at this point, your body on fire for a touch you’ve longed for for over a year. 

“I wanna hear you…” He said it so softly you barely caught it with the way your mind was spinning. 

“Fuck— but we’re in public,” you ended up moaning out. You were gonna cum soon at this rate.

Jungkook quickened up the pace of his fingers sliding in and out of your soaking pussy, this angle making it so he hit that spot over and over and— Your back arched instinctively and a moan you just couldn’t contain escaped your lips. He wasn’t going to let you be quiet. 

A fire seemed to burn brighter and brighter inside you, your whole body tingling and ready. You were so close. 

“Fuck fuck fuck, Jungkook please I’m so close!” You cried, throwing your head back. You didn’t care at all who heard you anymore, all you wanted was that sweet release. 

Jungkook’s breathing became heavier as he watched you fall apart on his fingers. The feeling of your warm walls soaking his fingers and the beautiful moans you would let out had him spiraling out of control quicker and quicker. He wanted to fuck you so bad. 

“Please—“ Your moans got louder. You were close and he knew that. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you were so close. His grip on your hips tightened and his hips hastily came up to meet nothing. Why did he have to forget condoms? He was moaning along with you. Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuc—

It will forever be ingrained into his memory, the time you came all over his fingers in the parking garage in front of the club. Every single detail. The way you looked him right in his eyes, that look as he saw you reached that sweet release, your moans stopping, the moment so overwhelming you couldn’t even scream. The feeling of the way your walls tightened around his fingers, soaked beyond belief at this point. The way his heart swelled because you were so fucking pretty like this. What made this even more memorable was the result. 

Right in that moment he felt it too, hitting him like a freight train, his whole body shook as he felt that sweet release right along with you. 

You both stared at each other, trying your best to come down from that high feeling. Your breathing was heavy but your body buzzed with excitement, you wanted to feel him, no, needed to feel him at this point. 

You were about to reach down to grab at his belt but your attention focused on the way he hurriedly looked down between the two and back up at you with panicked eyes. 

Confused, you looked down and you saw the issue. The only lights in the car were the little ones bleeding in from the neon signs outside, but the angle was just right for you to see the wet stain that painted his pants. 

“I’m sorry! Fuck, I’m so sorry.” It was clear he was embarrassed, you were almost sure in the darkness you could see his cheeks turning a brighter shade of red by the second. 

You couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Don’t laugh!” He cried, getting more and more flustered. 

“You’re so cute! No need to be embarrassed~” You tried to reassure, but you weren’t really helping. 

“I don’t even know what happened…” Jungkook was in disbelief. This has never happened before and of course of all times it did it had to be with you, the girl he wanted to impress the most. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m serious Jungkook…”

“I know we couldn’t go all the way but fuck I just had to—“ He was ranting but you quickly interrupted, wondering what he meant by that. 

“I forgot condoms…” He sighed, hating to admit the fact but was still shocked when he felt the light slap on his shoulder.

“How could you forget condoms? We literally went on dates today, it’s a date Jungkook, you always bring condoms on dates.” You were flabbergasted by this fact. You knew you should have helped him pack for the date as well. 

The mention of the fact that you both were in fact still on dates with other people had an awkward tension arising and words that needed to be said became even more obvious. 

You were about to say something but Jungkook shushed you. 

“Not here, while I’m like this…” You knew what he was referring to so you just shut yourself up and moved off top of him. Jungkook’s eyes hung onto your form, a worried expression on your face, before he was pushing out the car door and getting out. 

Jungkook tried to hurry and get to the door in front, as it was extremely obvious the minute he stepped out what the two of you were doing in his car. The stain on his dark gray suit was a dead giveaway, but your lipstick was smeared all over his face and neck, and you could even see faint marks of hickeys.

You resisted the urge to laugh as he struggled to get the door open. You were quick to follow him and got in on the passengers side. 

“Uh— we should probably text Jimin and Eun Ae letting them know we’re leaving.” Jungkook pointed out and you felt horrible realizing you already forgot about them. You were actually terrible. 

You and Jungkook sent quick texts to the friends you brought along and Jungkook was pulling out of the parking garage on the way back to your apartment.

Not a word was said to each other on the way over, the silence loud enough to leave your mind spiraling. What the actual fuck did you just do? 

When you both made it back, you both still didn’t talk then, Jungkook immediately headed to the shower before you could even attempt to bring it up. Your mind was flooded and you ended up turning to what takes your mind off stress best and that’s cleaning, more specifically you decided now would be the perfect time to do laundry. 

You just had sex with your best friend. You had sex with Jungkook?! Jeon motherfucking Jungkook. Your best friend. 

You just crossed a line you knew you were never going to be able to come back from. That platonic barrier you tried your best to hide behind was gone and there was nothing you could do about it. 

The fact you both haven’t even talked about what happened made you even more worried. Did he like you? Were you a desperate attempt at a quick fuck? Were you about to lose your best friend? Your mind was so clouded as you loaded clothes into the dryer, you didn’t notice when Jungkook came up right behind you.

“Hello?” Jungkook asked and you nearly screamed. Your body reacted on its own and you turned around to start swinging, or rather more so waving your arms around hoping it’d do something. 

“Hey wait—“ He tried to say but you didn’t even process the fact it was just Jungkook until one of your swings actually did a little damage, a firm slap right across his chest was enough for him to cry out and you finally opened your eyes to see your friend right behind you. 

“Oops” You mumbled already feeling that guilt start to creep up. But Jungkook didn’t look mad whatsoever, if anything he looked amused. He thought you were absolutely adorable. 

Instead of saying anything about it though, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a hug, resting his head on your shoulder. “It’s me stupid…” He mumbled into your skin.

You couldn’t help but melt into his embrace, that fluttery feeling spreading all throughout your body. He was so warm and you enjoyed the sweet scents of his body wash. “You should have said something sooner..” You pointed out. 

“I did, I kept calling your name but you didn’t hear me.” He retorted and it just made you feel worse. 

Silence passed for a little while before you finally muttered “I’m sorry…” Jungkook didn’t say anything but pulled you tighter against him. 

“What are you doing by the way?” He finally asked and let you go. You got back to working on getting the clothes in the dryer. 

“Laundry, you know when I get stressed I start doing chores…” You muttered. 

“I know that, but why are you so stressed?” He chuckled and you quickly turned around to face him again. 

“Because you’re my best friend and you know what we just did in the back of your car! We just crossed a whole lot of lines and I’m confused—“ You were stern but your eyes couldn’t help but take in his appearance. His long hair was damp and still curly, a white shirt hung loosely around his frame and he had on those strange, bright blue shorts underneath. 

He was absolutely breathtaking.

Jungkook sighed but leaned forward so his hands were back on the washer, caging you in. He was so close. 

“I’m an idiot, I'm sorry…” He sighed as his eye focused right on yours. You were intrigued, waiting for him to continue. 

“This whole week I’ve just felt off, you know? Ever since you brought up you wanted to go on a double date… I tried to convince myself that it was all because of the fact that we were going out again after all this time. I knew deep down and apparently others did as well, that it was because I liked you…” His words made your heart do a backflip.

“I couldn’t accept it for a while because feelings are complicated and the last thing I wanted to do was make the relationship with the person who’s been by my side even during my worst times complicated. Losing you…” You noticed it, his eyes were a little glossy. 

“I couldn’t lose you.” You could have just melted into the floor right there, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to spill over. 

“But when I saw you and hyung together…” His eyes turned away. “I knew I couldn’t pretend anymore… I had to do something before it was too late.” He tried to smile but you could hear the pain in his voice. 

“I’m sorry I was too forward, I just had to do something before you walked away… I didn’t even ask how you feel…” He finally met your eyes once again and he was shocked to see your eyes filled with tears. 

“How do I feel? You really are an idiot Jungkook…” You tried to laugh but you were getting choked up. He looked utterly confused. 

“I’ve liked you since highschool! I spent all this time thinking you didn’t like me back. You never made a move back then, but then we came here and you got a girlfriend pretty quickly. I thought it must have been one-sided, you know? I started dating Incheol but when you came back… I had a little hope over the past year, but when you agreed to go on a double date, I thought it was finally time to give up.”

If Jungkook wasn’t so consumed in questioning his own feelings for you he would have noticed the signs. The way you meticulously analyzed his face when you suggested a double date, hoping he would hate the idea, or at the very least show some disdain to it. He would have noticed the way you slammed the door after he agreed to it and cried silently to yourself in your room at your silly feelings for your best friend. He would have noticed long before the event of Valentines weekend the look in your eyes whenever you spent time together. He would have guessed maybe he had something to do with you and Incheol breaking up. You tried to put on a brave face, at this point thinking Jungkook really didn’t see you that way.   

“What…” His voice was small and he was just staring at you in shock. 

“I think we’re both dumb—“ Jungkook hardly let you finish your sentence before he was pushing you against the washer and finally closing the distance.

The kiss was soft and nothing like what happened at the club. It was just pure passion that had years of negligence behind it. It was a little scary taking this step with Jungkook, you couldn’t lose him either, but you were glad that you were. Your heart was full and you wanted nothing more than to have him closer.

He lifted you on top of the washer, the angle allowing him to pull you closer.   

Jungkook pulled away slowly, the pull of your lips way too enticing but he had something to say. His hand came up to caress your cheek softly before 3 words you’ll never forget left his mouth. “I love you.” His voice barely above a whisper but you heard it loud and clear.

“It’s probably too soon to say that but I just needed you to—“ You didn’t give him time to finish before you were pulling him back, kissing him hard. 

“I love you too…” You probably could have cried in the moment but the words lit a fire in you and you needed him closer. 

Your words sent Jungkook to a new level of insane, he needed to be inside you. You certainly felt it too, the nudging against your thigh made it obvious. 

Jungkook broke the kiss, your breaths were heavy and he was eagerly playing with the hem of your dress. ”Y/n do you wanna—“ He didn't need to finish, you were already nodding your head. 

You were suddenly lifted off the washer, laughing as Jungkook practically sped his way over to your room, kicking in the door and throwing you onto the bed. 

You both giggled but the moment was not lost, Jungkook quickly climbing on top of you and finding your lips once again. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer, you needed him closer. Your body was on fire and all you wanted was to feel him. 

Jungkook pulled away slowly, hand trailing down your body, and his eyes staring right into yours.

“You’re so beautiful…” His words were soft and had you melting on the inside. 

“Jungkook…”

His eyes scanned over you once more. “We should have done this sooner…” He chuckled lightly, but he was serious. This whole evening wouldn’t have been necessary if he was just honest with himself sooner. 

Jungkook started kissing you lightly down the neck making you gasp. 

“We’re dumb, aren’t we?” You replied breathlessly as he started to suck a little harder. You moaned lightly, knowing this was likely gonna leave a mark. 

“Extremely…” He was hardly paying attention anymore, his full attention now on making you feel good. He wanted to devour you, make you his and his alone.

Jungkook’s attention focused on your eyes as he started pulling your dress up. “Just think about it… instead of all this sexual frustration we could have been— oh.” You couldn’t even finish at the way he rutted into you. 

“We’re so fucking stupid… I feel like I’m gonna explode…” He said bashfully.

“You did earlier...” You playfully teased and could stop yourself laughing at the way his mouth dropped. 

“I hate you so much.” He mumbled, trying to feign being upset but you could see the smile on his face. 

“Says the man who just confessed he loves me~” You giggled and at this he couldn’t help but laugh along with you. Jungkook sighed knowing it’s true. 

You didn’t miss the way he started moving down your body, in between the commotion your body lighting up at what you knew he had in mind next.

He eventually got to the point he was staring right at your long ruined thong and took a shaky breath. He wanted to taste you so fucking bad. 

Jungkook looked up at you. “Please?” He asked hurriedly and you nodded. With your permission he quickly pushed up your dress even further and tugged your panties down your legs. 

“You’re so pretty.” He said absentmindedly, like you weren’t supposed to hear. You chuckled at his words making him look back up at you. 

He flushed realizing he said that outloud but smiled because you did. His shy demeanor quickly shifted as you saw the mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“Who were you imagining the other night?” Jungkook asked suddenly as he moved a finger through your slick folds.

“What are you talking about?” You questioned, but his finger now circling your clit had your mind elsewhere. 

“That day I was working on my project. Valentine's Day.” 

Silence passed for a little while until you suddenly sat up realizing what he was talking about. Jungkook laughed at the look on your face. 

“You put too much faith in the walls, my desk is right on the other side.” Jungkook had a slight teasing tone to his voice, an adorable bunny expression on his face like he wasn't fingering you right now as he admitted to hearing you play with yourself. 

You laid back down, embarrassment creeping up making your face hot. 

“No need to be embarrassed.” Jungkook recounted back to the words you told him earlier. You just groaned, somehow that made it worse. Jungkook chuckled, but his attention turned toward what he was doing between your legs. 

“I’m serious though. It was hot… really hot.” He smiled. 

“Stopppp…” You cried, both in the way you still couldn’t even look at him, but also his finger started picking up the pace.  

“You were the reason I was up all night trying to work on it.” He chuckled darkly. At this you finally peered down at him. 

“You sounded so pretty, I wanted to come over and help you. I thought you would never be down for that but after tonight, I can’t help but wonder who it was you were thinking of to make you sound like that?” His face was just as innocent as it normally was, but his words were dangerous. 

Your embarrassment in the situation faded immediately and instead a cocky grin spread across your face. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You laughed. 

“Tell me.”

“Make me.” You retorted back quickly. You were playing with fire at this point but you wanted to see what he would do. 

Your words were a challenge, a fire alighting inside.

His sweet smile disappeared as he turned back to your soaking pussy. He smirked and with that challenged head tilt he always did, he said nothing more as he dove straight between your legs. You hardly had any time to react before he was spreading your legs and taking one long lick between your folds. 

Your body reacted on its own, a fire spreading throughout your body and a soft moan escaped your lips. You looked down at him a little shocked but you were a little surprised to find him looking up at you. You saw him smirk quickly before diving straight back then, this time with full intent on making you scream. 

You never really knew what you pictured Jungkook to be like during sex. You never saw anything weird when he was dating Yoona and when you were still dating Incheol you and Jungkook hardly ever ran into each other. You were over at his place mainly, but you would occasionally come back to your shared apartment to hang out. You can still remember all the times you would be lying in bed awake to the sounds of girls moaning their hearts out in the room next door. It wasn’t the quiet guy who had been your friend since high school, but you knew whatever was happening next door was good. 

You finally found out today what all the fuss was about. 

Jungkook was skilled as he swirled his tongue around your clit. Your hands quickly found their place in his dark locks, your body being set ablaze at the pleasure. 

“Oh fuck–” You whinned.

His movements got faster and the more you wanted. “Jungkook, please…” You pleaded. 

He pulled back at your words and smiled. “Tell me then, who were you thinking of that night?” His fingers got back to work teasing your clit. 

“Just forget that and make me– ohhh gosh.” You cried as he moved them to finger your clenching hole. With experience in the car he was quickly able to find the spot that had made you a mess so quickly for him. 

You whined. “Jungkook, fuck, please.” You were practically begged, needing more. 

“I said tell me.” His voice was calm as he looked at you already a mess for so little. The work of his one finger alone was enough to have you brushing against the edge. If anything it made it worse, you could almost taste the release. 

He made sure to speed up the pace pushing over that same spot, maybe it was the drought that made you so sensitive, but you moaned, your back arching at the feeling.

“Tell me Y/N–” Jungkook said again. 

“It was you!” You cried, you couldn’t play the game anymore. “It was you Jungkook!” You made sure to say it again so he heard. Suddenly he stopped. Confused and a little annoyed you looked down to see a stupid smile on his face, both in the fact that he won and you had thought of him like that. 

It was just like this almost, him between your legs as he ate you out for hours, was the fantasy your brain had chosen to go with to try and soothe the ache between your legs. 

“I can promise you I’m better in person.” Jungkook suddenly said and you just playfully rolled your eyes. He already proved that to be true. 

“I’m sure you are, now get back to work, we’ve been deprived way too long for you to try and edge.” You giggled and he laughed at that. 

“What’s wrong with taking our time a little? I like seeing you a mess for me.” He cheesed and your heart swelled. You loved him so much. 

“Jungkook…” You warned and at this he finally took the hint and got back to work. 

He eagerly went to add a second finger inside and his tongue was back to suck on your clit. The combination had that flame quickly returning. His fingers curled inside you and he made quick work of his tongue, not having any shame in making it messy. He groaned against you, an added pleasure he quickly could tell had an effect. 

Jungkook thought you were absolutely beautiful, so pretty and all for him. The sight had him quickly reminded of the fact he didn’t get to finish the way he wanted to in the car and how much he wanted to fuck you. His hips unconsciously collided with your mattress trying to chase some sort of pleasure. It hurt at this point but his attention remained on you. 

He saw you hastily pull down the straps of your dress to play with your tits, and one hand coming back to tangle in his hair. He felt the gentle tugs whenever it just felt so good and he could have died happy right there in that moment. Right between your thighs.

“Fuck, I’m so close–” You hastily cried out. Jungkook took the hint and took it up just a little more and it was more than enough to have you quickly spiraling toward the edge, your orgasm hitting you like a wave. Your body shook and your thighs clamped around his head. As you slowly came down from the experience he continued to devour you until you pushed him away slightly from overstimulation. 

He finally sat up, his face wet from your juices and a big smile on his face. You smiled back at him. Your eyes though quickly went from his face to the obvious tent in his shorts. Jungkook didn’t give you much time to think about it before he was back on top of you and hastily kissing your lips.

If you didn’t see it before you definitely could feel it now, the tip nudging right where you wanted him making you even more eager to finally feel him against you. But you had other plans first…

You made quick work of flipping you both over, leaving you on top and in control. He looked at you a little confused before you kissed him on his cheek, making him smile. 

“What are you doing?” He chuckled lightly as your kisses trailed back up to his lips. You kissed him with a heated passion, wanting him to know how much you loved him. Jungkook was quick to get in the groove, his hand coming up to cup your cheek and pull you closer while his other hand trailed down your back. 

You finally felt him reach the hem of your dress and attempted to try and pull it back up but you pulled away and looked him right in the eye. If he wasn’t confused before he definitely was now. 

You smiled at him and leaned so you were right next to his ear. 

“Not yet, let me repay the favor first.” You whispered and gently took his ear between your teeth before moving to his neck and sucking on it lightly. 

Jungkook was speechless for a little while, the pleasure your mouth was bringing made it hard to think, wanting to just get lost in the pleasure. 

“I don’t know…” He eventually chuckled, the grip on your waist tightening. You finally moved to look at him again. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked a little confused. 

“Wanna fuck you so bad, plus… you looked too good while I was eating you out. I don’t know if I could make it.” His face was flushed, clearly embarrassed by the confession. 

At this you smirked. Oh you were definitely going to repay him, not only for the orgasm but for teasing you earlier. 

You let your hand travel down his body till it rested on the waistband of his shorts. “You sure you wanna say no?” You questioned playfully as you slipped your hand underneath grabbing a fistful of his length. Your antics got an immediate reaction from him, a moan quickly escaping his lips. 

You made quick work and slowly pumped your hand slowly over his length, watching his face scrunch up in bliss. He was so fucking pretty. 

“I–” He couldn’t even finish his sentence as your thumb traced circles over the tip, you could already feel the precum leaking from the tip. 

“Y/n please…” he eventually cried out, making you smile. 

“Do you want me to stop?” You asked teasingly. 

“No, fuck– please.” He finally peered over at you and saw that teasing look, knowing this was probably because of earlier. 

With the go ahead you moved down the bed, helping him pull his shorts down and tossing them somewhere around your room. The both of you giggled before you found a comfortable place right in front of his cock. 

You stared marveling at what was in front you. His dick was already making your mouth water, the length, the girth, the slight curve, the tip was a flaming red, and precum sliding down the sides. Of course, what more should you have expected from him.

You wrapped a hand around him, right at the base. You wrapped your mouth around the tip, sucking it lightly, enjoying the delicious moan Jungkook let out as a result. You popped off quickly though, earning a groan of annoyance. 

“What happened to no teasing?” He questioned breathlessly. 

You just smiled at him before diving back again. You had every full intention of teasing him just a little longer, but you felt Jungkook’s hand on the back of your head, clearly intended to keep you in place. 

Oh so he wants to play like that?

At this you finally started to take more of him, getting about halfway before you let your hand do the rest of the work at quickly pumping him. You felt him grab your hair tightly and you’ll never forget the way he whimpered, clearly not expecting you to do that. 

It wasn’t long before he let go and you popped off with a smile. You won this time. 

“Y/n please.” No playfulness to his voice anymore, he was begging you. 

You couldn’t resist and you got back to work. You grabbed him again and pumped him quickly and got to work gently massaging his balls. At this you instantly had his arm coming over his eyes, a long groan falling from his lips. 

“Y/n oh fuck, fuck fu–” He was so fucking sensitive. 

He hadn’t been touched in a year, plus your little rendezvous in the car, and now here you were going down on him. Every little flick of your tongue or jerk from your hand had him speeding toward the edge, but he still wanted to take you. 

Your mouth came around him length once more, doing your best to make him feel good. Jungkook couldn’t resist looking, he finally glanced down at you and moaned instantly. You were taking him so well– fuck fuck. 

“Y/n…” He finally moaned. You could already sense what he was about to say. At this you sped up your pace. 

“Oh fuck, you feel so good– but– ohhhh” He cried, his hand coming up to grab at your hair again. 

“If you keep doing that I’m gonna–” He could have cried. The image of just cumming down your throat made him want to let you continue. 

He was so close. 

“Y/n I’m gonna cum…” He sighed, honestly a little embarrassed at how sensitive he was but you were just too good. 

His words didn’t sway you and if anything you upped it a little more. 

“Shit wait wait!” For a second he thought he wouldn’t even be able to tell you to stop, his orgasm so fucking close for a spilt second he wanted it to happen, but right along that edge you popped off and took your hands away. 

His body cried out at the lack of contact and he had to take a second to get himself to calm down. When his attention finally went to you, smiling up at him.

He couldn’t even joke around at that moment and sat up to pull you up so you were hovering over his cock.

“Please…” He was breathless and his desperation was starting to affect you. You pulled down the zipper on your dress and pulled it over your form, you also saw Jungkook hastily ripping off his white shirt and throwing it across the room.

He grabbed your hips and attempted to try and guide you down but you stopped him. He looked at you confused

“Condoms, remember?” You laughed and he did as well realizing his mistake.

“Please hurry…” He whined playfully, watching you reach over to your nightstand, shuffle through its contents, before pulling your hand out empty handed. He was once again confused.  

You stared at him in horror and it had him instantly wanting to commit a crime. “You don’t have any?” He asked in disbelief. You just stared at him.

He tugged on his hair in frustration. “Do you think that the convenience store down the street is still open?” He was trying to come up with some sort of solution. “I don’t even know if there are any in my room, do you think we can find some at this time of night, fuck fuck, why does this keep–” As he was trying to find a way at of this predicament you went back in your drawer and pulled out what he’s needed this entire evening.

“Just kidding~” You cheesed, watching the look on his face. If he wasn’t so horny right now he might have tackled you, but instead he laughed at your antics and he playfully rolled his eyes as gestured for you to put it on.

You ripped open the packaging with your teeth and hurriedly slid it down his length. He was so sensitive from earlier he made it difficult trying to put it on, bucking himself into your hand in search of any type of friction. 

Once you managed to get it on, you wasted no time and lined yourself up before sinking slowly down his dick, enjoying the way he filled you up. 

You both moaned at the feeling. Jungkook hurriedly grabbed your hips at the pleasure. You were so warm, wet, and tight around him, you felt so good and looked so pretty on top of him like this. Oh this isn’t gonna last long.

You sat there for a second, allowing your body to get adjusted but you could tell Jungkook was antsy at the way he subtly ground himself into you for some sort of friction. 

“Y/n– fuck, you’re so–” He cried and you chuckled at his reaction. 

“Does it feel good?” You asked. 

Jungkook just smiled at first, wondering how that was even a question at first. “So go– engghhh fuck…” He sighed as you slowly started to move your hips. You watched him intently as his face scrunched up and you felt the way his grip on your waist tightened. 

With new motivation you finally allowed yourself to get lost in the pleasure and just enjoyed the way he felt inside of you, steadily speeding up your pace.

Jungkook just stared up at you. Ever since he met you he never would have imagined himself in this position, you on top while you worked to please him so well. Yesterday he was so adamant he felt nothing but platonic feelings for you and today… He had spent so much time trying to lie to himself, if only he had been honest with himself from the get go you could have done this so much sooner. 

His heart swelled at the thought. He was so stupid. How could he have tried to tell himself he didn’t want this? You bouncing yourself happily on his cock, looking so pretty while you took him so well. Fuck, he was so happy. 

With the way you teased him earlier it didn’t take very much for him to feel that ache once again. Jungkook grabbed your hips and took control, he watched your face turn to one of shock before you melted into the new pace he was setting.

You moaned and he could have sworn he’s never heard such a beautiful sound. He wanted to please you, make you feel good, and in a weird way, repay you for all you’ve done for him. 

“Jungkook, shit, hghhh–” You cried.

Fuck he was close. 

Before you even knew what was happening, suddenly you were on your back, staring Jungkook right in the eye. 

He was quick to set a punishing pace, you could have screamed at the sudden pleasure. Jungkook buried himself in your neck and you could hear all the little grunts and moans he would let out and it was almost too much. So good, you were getting close.

Jungkook could certainly tell, the feeling of your walls gripping him even tighter– fuck. He couldn’t take it anymore. He kissed you sloppily, wanted to feel you even closer. You wrapped your arms around his neck moaning into the kiss, sensing what was happening. 

It didn’t take much time till he was pulling away and burying his head back in your shoulder, a glorious moan spilling from his lips. A wave of pleasure washed over him as you felt his hips still and his whole body shake lightly.

You rubbed his back softly as you helped him work through it. 

You thought this was the end of your game, but you were shocked. Jungkook immediately turned to your nightstand, opening up and shuffling through the top drawer. 

“What are you doing?” You asked breathlessly. 

It was almost immediately that you got your answer when he pulled out another condom. “I’m not done with you yet.” He said as ripped open the packaging with his teeth. 

You were left stunned as you watched him swiftly throw away the used condom and put on a new one, before quickly pushing himself back inside you once more. 

You saw the way his face scrunched up, likely at the pain of overstimulation. His pace was slow, but he continued with deep strokes that made it so he was hitting your clit each and every time, making your toes curl.  

Oh so he was a freak?

For some reason you knew this wasn’t the first time he’s done this. You should have known the way he nearly fucked you out in public in that parking garage. 

Jungkook’s full intention was to make you feel good. He was quick to get back at a moderate pace and then he turned his attention to kissing and sucking on your neck, making sure it was going to leave a mark. 

As much as he wanted to pretend that the rage he felt in the club watching you and Jimin together was far in the past, now that everything was all said, it fueled him even more to want to tell everyone that you were his and his alone.

And just to think, if things didn’t go the way they did his hyung would have probably been in this position… Just the thought of him seeing you like this pissed him off more than it should. 

He wanted to prove himself, that you made the right choice. 

Jungkook was eager to make you cum around him, he needed to feel it. The breathy moans you would let out motivated him, you were so fucking pretty.

Jungkook looked you right in the eyes as he fucked you. Oh you were close. 

“I love you.” He moaned quietly. Oh you were a mess, three little words were enough to send you to another dimension. 

“You feel so fucking good and all fucking mine.” Jungkook groaned, fucking you a little faster. 

For some reason Jungkook getting all possessive while he’s buried deep inside you was so hot, the feeling in the pit of your stomach growing more restless. 

“Jungkook, please, I’m so close.” You cried. 

The pleasurable sting from overstimulation made that fleeting feeling return all too soon for Jungkook as well so he made quick work of finally pushing the both of you over the edge. 

“I love you too, Jungkook, love you so much.” Jungkook had no idea if you said that just because you were close, but the confession was enough for his orgasm to come crashing over him, not once did he slow down though, if anything he went a little faster. 

His efforts were enough as with just a few more strokes you moaned and he was feeling your walls tightening around him. He watched intently, now with the better light, he saw the way you crumbled in his grasp, so pretty as your third orgasm of the day hit you even harder. 

For a little while, it was just the sound of your labored breaths as you both tried to recover from everything. It was peaceful, almost like the calm after a storm. After the exhausting year you’ve both had, it finally led to this moment, together in each other's arms at last. When you both calmed down, Jungkook smiled as he kissed you gently, you couldn’t be happier. 

He was quick to throw away the condom and snuggle up next to you. A moment of silence passed before you both giggled. 

“This day was something…” You smiled. 

“It was, wasn’t it.” Jungkook responded absentmindedly, too busy tracing your features with his gaze. 

You both still didn’t say anything for a while, choosing to let the events of today speak for you. Jungkook was just so enamored by you, happy that everything finally made sense, happy that he was able to be with you like this. For some reason it had his mind going back to the previous year.

The newly revealed sentiment of how much you truly cared for each other made him think back to the dark days and how you helped him through it all. Without you, would he really be here today? You really were there for him, never once asking any questions. As soon as he told you he was struggling, you never left his side and helped him navigate through the path that seemed so endless. 

Even to this day he never really explained himself and you never asked what happened.  

“Hey Y/n.” He finally said, getting you attention. “Last year… I don’t think I ever told you what I was really going through during those months, did I?” He asked suddenly. 

You were a bit taken aback by the question but you answered nonetheless. “Not in much detail.” You noticed his gaze changed from you to peer straight up at the ceiling.

He took a deep breath. “I want to tell you what happened...” It only seemed right, before you take this next step in your relationship, all the cards from his past he kept hidden from you should be laid on the table for you to see. 

He was scared though. Would you still want him after he tells you? 

“Is that ok?” He turned back to you, his gaze unreadable. 

You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t curious. On the day Jungkook told you he had been struggling you knew he was keeping the details as vague as he possibly could, for a reason you had no idea about. You didn’t want to pry, you knew that he had gone through a lot over the last few months so you were content with him telling you anything. All you knew was your friend needed help and you were going to be there for him through that process. 

“If you’re comfortable telling me, I’ll be here to listen,” you settled with saying. 

Jungkook noticed the look in your eyes that told him it was truly fine for him to continue. 

Would you hate him, ridicule him, shame him? All of these were outcomes he wanted to avoid. It’s why he didn’t tell you back then. He was ashamed of himself. 

“At the end of our first semester as you know Yoona and I had a big fight. It all had to deal with you, funny enough. She was upset at how close we were, the fact that we lived together, and that she thought I could have been cheating on her with you. At the time I was upset that she even thought that was a possibility, I was with her, you were my friend and that was it.” Jungkook had to pause for a second knowing the irony of the situation.

You couldn’t hide the look of shock on your face at the information. You thought you were just so drunk that you had somehow heard your name come up in conversation. It had been about you entirely. It stung a bit to know that you had gotten in the way of their relationship like that, but the one detail you did know about this story made that guilt dissipate quickly. 

“We said some pretty hurtful things to each other, with her eventually leaving and that’s when you came in. I really liked her at the time so I wanted to do my best to try and repair the damage that had been done, but when I saw her… when I went to her apartment and saw she was actually cheating on me, it really really hurt.”  Jungkook didn’t even have the words to describe how much pain the revelation brought him. For a while he blamed himself, that he was such an awful boyfriend, an awful person, that it led a girl he would have never in a million years thought would ever do something like that to him, to anybody really. It only made the next unfortunate event even harder to bear. 

“I can only say this now in hindsight, but I didn’t understand at the time how much I relied on her. My mental health wasn’t the best for various reasons, a difficult semester taking its toll, life, I don’t really know the root cause but as soon as I knew she was cheating on me, it all came crashing down harder than I thought it ever could. I shut everyone out, it was too much, but if it couldn’t get any worse I got a phone call from my dad about my uncle.” You could hear the slight quiver in his voice, just at the mention of it. 

You remember the exact moment it happened. You had just woken up. You had been in the kitchen trying to figure out what to have before you head out to your first class. It was nearly the end of the final semester, finals were coming up and you had a whole day of studying planned. Despite your packed schedule, you had also wanted to have enough time to try and be there for Jungkook since he had just gone through a pretty rough breakup, you having gone to bed early as a result. It’s probably why you didn’t hear when he got the phone call late the night before.

You had been making a little breakfast when he suddenly came bursting through his room door, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. You noticed immediately he looked frantic, his face was red, and you could see his cheeks were still stained from tears. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night. 

Jungkook ran straight to the door, but you stopped him concerned and a little confused about what was happening. 

He was barely able to explain to you that his uncle had been in an accident and that he was going back to Busan, tears just were streaming down his face. Without thinking you had pulled him into a hug, Jungkook completely just broke down in your arms. 

He was out the door before you truly could say goodbye. 

“I went back to Busan and tried my best to process everything, hoping that this sinking feeling would pass and I could get back to some level of normalcy. Weeks started to go by and all I could feel was nothing. I didn’t cry anymore, I wasn’t angry, nor was I ever truly happy, it was just gray everywhere I looked.”

“Christmas came and went and the new year started. All of those holidays only made it worse, seeing how happy friends and other family were, the fact that it was just nothing made me even more desperate for anything.”

Jungkook had to stop again, knowing what was coming next. 

“It was around the time we were supposed to start heading back for the spring semester that some friends had called me and asked to meet up. We talked and I ended up telling them things have been hard lately so they invited me to a party to try and cheer me up. I was desperate so I said I’d be there, hoping it might help me feel anything. I drank a lot, tried to have fun, but again things just became worse when nothing helped.” 

He couldn’t even look at you anymore.  

“They invited me to another one, this time I thought maybe sex might help, it didn’t, not at all and left me feeling more empty than ever. It was sometime after this that I started having some pretty scary thoughts bouncing around my head.” It truly had gotten so bad so quickly. The depression had quickly consumed him and any effort he made to try and make things better only seemed to make things worse. He felt trapped, that there was no way out of this hole. 

“I was desperate for anything at that point so when those same friends called and asked to meet up again… this time… this time they offered certain um… illegal substances. I should have said no, I know, but I was looking for anything to make it better so…” For some reason Jungkook was waiting for you to say something, to scream at him, anything, but you remained silent as his words hung in the air. 

He didn’t have the courage to face you to see your expression. Instead he kept going. 

“It wasn’t perfect, but for a little while I finally felt ok, better than ok even, but the crash was horrible and I felt the regret starting to take hold. It was only once when I was in Busan, but by then the semester had started and I needed to get back. That’s when I came back to the apartment. I wanted to tell you everything but then you opened the door and I saw Incheol with you… I didn’t understand why at the time, but seeing you with him… It made me so angry so I just shut everyone out.”

“Before I left my friends gave me the number of a friend they had in Seoul who carried and so instead of focusing on my work that I should have I turned to chasing that high and dealing with an even worse low. I stayed out as much as I could, I didn’t want to see you with Incheol, plus I was ashamed what would happen if you saw me like that. I didn’t want you to see me like that.” Your eyes were teary and his was as well, a couple had even begun sliding down his cheeks. 

“Jimin hyung saw the worst of it actually. Too many times would I head over on something and he would yell at me but he would always help me through it. I was also at his place a lot dealing with sober thoughts and he kept my mind occupied so I wouldn’t do anything rash.”

“It wasn’t until that day I got the message from my advisor telling me how bad everything was that I snapped out of it enough to try and look for help. That’s when I told you. Besides the work you helped with, you were just being there for me without asking too many questions… It was more sympathy I deserved considering how weird things had been since I left. You brought me back and I can never be more grateful.” It was only then that Jungkook finally looked over at you, your face was stained with tears and you were trying your best not to make too much noise so you didn’t disturb his story. 

“I mentioned this now because being here… I should have known after all that what I felt for you was more than just being my best friend. I didn’t want to lose you so I tried to push away the obvious and tried to just keep being just your friend. I’m so happy I can be here with you now, like this, together. And I wanted to thank you for the millionth time, you pulled me out of a dark place that I never thought I was going to come back from. I’m just so happy.” He tried to chuckle but seeing you crying made this difficult discussion that much more emotional.

It felt so good telling you. 

You quickly pulled him into a hug, finally letting the emotions spill over. 

“I wish I was there for you more, you struggled so much I– I–” You sobbed, absolutely heartbroken that he went through this. “If only I had noticed, if I wasn’t so focused on Incheol I could have–” 

“Don’t say that. You were happy, I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.” Jungkook said, trying to wipe away your tears.

“Burden?! Jungkook, I was your friend, don’t think you would ever burden me.” You sobbed, the tears continuing to stream down your face, making more and more go down his as well.

“Fuck, I love you so much, of course you would say that.” There were no words in any language to accurately describe how much he cares for you and how he will eternally be grateful for being there with him. 

You both smiled and Jungkook reached over to grab some tissues to wipe your faces. You both tried to make light of the situation and giggle at how messed up you truly were. Between the sex and now the crying your makeup had smeered all over your face. 

“Jungkook, truly though. If you ever go through any sort of hard time again know I’ll be here for you ok.” You reassured him.

“If you ever go through a rough time, I’ll be here for you and then some.” He smiled. 

“Don’t be afraid to lean on me, life gets hard but at least we have each other.” You leaned in to kiss his cheek, but he moved to make sure you hit his lips instead. 

You both laughed, but quickly went back in for another.

“You actually can’t get rid of me.” Jungkook giggled as he started peppering kisses all over your face.

“And I don’t want to.” It was just love, you loved this man. 

“By the way, I wanted to ask whose room should we stay in? Should we just get a new apartment?” Jungkook questioned, kissing down your neck.

You thought about it for a second.

“We could move after graduation. We could figure something out so that it’s a little closer to my law school, or maybe something closer to your job, whichever one you decide to take.” 

Jungkook was pretty talented in his field, over the years managing to work as assistants for camera operators and editors in movies and various kdramas. He already had a promising resume. He worked a ton of jobs, did various commissions for friends, peers, even his school had him shoot something. He also was working some type of internship most of the time, the only time you can remember him not working was when he was going through that hard time. 

It was certainly going to be impressive to the production companies. With all the jobs he applied for, Jungkook’s professors and advisor assured him that he was bound at least to make it to the interview stage and was probably going to end up with multiple offers. 

His achievements were certainly amazing, but he had a tendency to downplay them.   

Jungkook nodded, the plan made sense. “For now though, you could move to my room. It’s a little bigger, maybe you could keep your clothes in your closet, but you could sleep here most of the time if you want.” You added. He just nodded along, until his brain actually processed what you were saying.

“What, aren’t our rooms the same size?” He recounted what you told him all those years ago once you decided to move here. 

You cringed at the mention of that. “5 extra square feet makes you do some crazy things.” You chuckled weakly. 

“Yah wait– what did you just say?!” 

“You never noticed!” You tried to defend but it was too late and he was already tackling you back down to the bed. 

Was he mad, not at all, if anything this was just an excuse to get you in this position. It’s strange what a year does to your libido. He couldn’t get enough of you. 

Jungkook kissed you all over your face and neck, making you laugh at the way it tickled. 

“I love you.” He said between kisses. 

“I love you too.” You made sure to look him in the eyes when he said it. You wanted him to know how much you meant it.

You were so happy. 

The fucking butterflies his fucking gives me….LORRDDDDDD I AM NOT YOUR STRONGEST SOLDIER!!!!!

all mine officially @moonmiyul on pintrest<33

hi, if you like my moodboards, find me on pintrest! @moonmiyul, im new on posting here but im looking forward to branching out a bit ^^

bts army, tots feminine, and enjoy making cute things match whether it be clothes, moodboards, or lip glass shades <3

now heres my fav pic mimi TT

Jimin: Devil may happy :)

Yoongi: Wouldn't it have made more sense to say devil may smile?

Jimin: Critique my post ever again and devil may angry >:(

very expensive photo and it took a struggle to get it😭

reblog/like if you want to save it! don't repost!

My boys! *-*

‘’The one who isn’t sick in the world that is sick gets treated as a mutant, isn’t it strange. The one who has his eyes open in the world that has its eyes closed — now they make him blind, isn’t it strange. The one who wants peace, the one who wants a fight — each taking each end of the ideology, isn’t it strange.’’

-이상하지 않은가 (feat. RM) (Strange, feat. RM)