Lexiloves1314 - Lexi - Tumblr Blog

So we were watching McFarland USA in film studies in school today and we got to the Bridge part and even though I’ve seen this movie 3 times already, I still started to freak out because Thomas is my favorite character.

Then my teacher asked if I was okay and since the scene was over, I said yea. Because for some reason in the back of my mind, I still think the ending is gonna be different then what it actually is 😭

The Picture of Dorian Gray mood-board with a dark/ chaotic academia theme

[All pictures found on Pinterest]

This is one of my all time favorite classics, definitely have to read it again soon.

I’ve been listening to “throwing in the towel” from the Outsiders musical on repeat for a bit now and I want to sob but it’s my favorite song so I can’t bring myself to turn it off 😭

I honestly could talk about this musical for hours if someone gave me the chance. I seriously need to see it. Maybe for my birthday 🤭

Just found out about Outsiders the musical and I’m already in love! I started listening to it and I’m actually crying so hard. This is one of my all time favorite books and I’m literally lost for words by how amazing it is.

I already know this is one of my new favorite musicals.

Bill Woodward mood-bard with a carnival/ eye theme

(All pictures I found on Pinterest. If you guys have any requests, let me know 💙💛)

Chapter four:

Starting to Regret

[Owen’s perspective]

After walking for a bit and trying to forget about what just happened, I decided to go back to my little, rundown hotel room. It is able to fit two people if necessary, but there’s no need anymore, it’s just me from now on.. I walked inside and went straight to the kitchen cabinet. That’s where I kept the alcohol, something I desperately needed right now. I grabbed a bottle of whiskey, shut the cabinet, and opened the bottle while sitting on the couch. I needed to drown out everything right now.

Before I knew it, the bottle was empty. I didn’t even realize that it was all gone. I drink a lot, I will admit, but the bottle usually lasts for some time. All I could was stare at it, the empty bottle which I supposedly chugged in a couple seconds. When I continued to stare at the bottle, I started to think about a lot. About tonight, about the fact that I didn’t even think about looking back when I left, about Curt..

I then threw the bottle at the wall, it shattering into pieces. My eyes started to water as I looked at all the glass on the floor. I only threw it so I could stop thinking about it all. Get all the thoughts out of my head.. But I started to regret what I did, smashing it was a mistake..

This was sure going to be a long night..

-(here’s chapter 4!! This one was also pretty hard to write, but I did it!! Also I’m gonna make some mood boards and post them tomorrow💛💙)-

Going to bed soon. I’m gonna start trying to post more on here. Also chapter 4 will be posted sometime tomorrow :) 💛💙

Just left school. Can’t wait to get home and watch Spies! 💙💛

I’ve never made one of these mood boards before, but I wanted to try it out on one of my favorite characters of all time- Sedgewick Bell from the Palace thief/emperor’s club.

If anyone has any suggestions for one you want me to make, tell me and I’ll tag you :)

Made this on the app Shuffles btw, love the app!!

In my chorus class, the teacher makes us do a warmup where the one person picked has to shout an emotion and we have to sing in the tone of the emotion(and they have to shout out like 10 of them)

So since I’m not normal, I’m just gonna shout random things from Spies are forever. Like she’ll call on me and I’ll go to the front of the piano and just randomly shout.

“UH..STAIRCASE!” and then act out the whole scene from memory instead of singing.

The best part about this is that my best friend is in my class and she’s the only one there besides from me that knows about/ loves SAF. So she said she’ll do it with me and probably laugh at me and everyone else will be weirded out.

Or we’ll just start singing a random SAF song. Just randomly start dramatically singing Spy again while I get stared at.

(I actually can’t wait to embarrass myself this year lol)

Chapter three:

Still on the horrid staircase

[Curt’s perspective]

My knees started to become weak as I thought about what just happened. It was almost too hard to believe. Owen didn’t die after all, and now he’s gone once again. I felt my eyes start to burn with tears as I fell onto my knees. Normal breaths turned into sobs as I thought about the past. Flashbacks were all that came to mind.

I thought about how I left him to die that night, alone, scared.. I kept trying to come up with an answer on why I did it, why I left?

No answers came to mind. Maybe I was too scared of what might happen or maybe I was in utter shock. But to be fair, those weren’t great answers I will admit. I wish I was able to give him a solid, well-thought out answer.

I tried to get up, but couldn’t. I fell right back onto my knees, clutching my jacket when I fell. I thought that maybe when I grabbed the jacket, I would think it was Owen’s embrace, or him trying to keep me on my feet, something like that. But it honestly made me more depressed. I wish I was able to hug him again, at least one more time. Tell him how sorry I am. I do know that when trust is broken, sorry means nothing, but it would mean something to me, just knowing that I at least tried to apologize, it would mean a lot.

And now, I’m going to spend the rest of my night, sobbing on this horrid staircase, the one that started it all..

-(here’s chapter 3! Sorry if it’s a little shorter than the others, this one was pretty hard to write 😭💙💛)-

Since I’m not quite done writing chapter 3, I thought I’d post the Playlist for My Unreliable Partner because I know most people like when book playlists are added(myself included)

Songs:

- my kink is karma: Chappell Roan

- me and my husband: Mitski

- Promise: Laufey

- Bored: Laufey

- first love/ late spring: Mitski

- Francis Forever: Mitski

- I want you: Mitski

- mama’s boy: Dominic Fike

- carry my out: Mitski

- I’m your man: Mitski

- as the world caves in: Matt Maltese

- blue over you: Mason Ramsey

-(Curtwen is so Mitski coded, it’s not even funny! Like I said, chapter 3 will be posted most likely sometime today. 💙💛)-

Just made a little My Unreliable Partner aesthetic board with pins I found on Pinterest.

I’m almost done writing Chapter 3, so it’ll be posted soon. 💙💛

Chapter Two

I would..

[Owen’s perspective]

I really did leave. And I had every reason to. From being left for dead by someone I loved to being called a “coward”, nothing about this sat right with me, especially the thought of Curt all together. We had a connection, we shared everything with each other. But since he left me that night, he’s only been a stranger in my eyes..

It almost feels like he’s trying to take advantage of you. He’ll tell you he loves you and leave you. It’s hard to understand how he works. Does he mean what he says or is he a liar? I would have to say a liar for obvious reasons. I felt loved by him, sure, but would someone who wanted to be with you, have a future with you when the time was right leave you for dead? I felt betrayed by him that night and I still do.

Betrayal is a horrid thing, it feels like you’re being stabbed in the back by someone who you trusted with your life. And that’s exactly how I felt with Curt. He didn’t care and if I went back and asked him, he would tell me that I'm right.

I also left because I wanted nothing to do with him in that moment. Why would I? He’s an ignorant, self-obsessed asshole who needs to grow up and move on.

Moving on is not an easy thing at all, especially when you’re perfect for someone, but sometimes it’s best. He just needs to forget about me and maybe find someone else to stab in the back, lie to and manipulate.

And the saddest thing about this is I never saw Curt this way until that night four years ago. I always saw him in a positive, caring, loving light who wanted nothing more than to make sure I was alright, make it so we weren’t afraid to talk to each other, but now, I wish I never shared my feelings with him, maybe it would make it easier to forget..

-(here’s chapter 2 of My Unreliable Partner!! Idk when chapter 3 will be posted since I still have to write it! 💛💙)-

Yay I’m so excited you like it so far!!! The idea randomly came to my head one night after watching it and I thought it would just be a fun little side project to work on when I’m not making edits for TikTok. Chapter 2 will be posted tomorrow morning!! If you have any other questions or even ideas, don’t be afraid to ask, id be happy to answer!! And I really hope you like the outcome of the story!!

So I’ve decided to start writing my little Curtwen book on here because Ao3’s being dumb 😭

It’s called My Unreliable Partner and it takes place after Curt shoots the gun out of Owen’s hand.

He doesn’t kill him when he had the chance because he thought that maybe they could talk about what happened, but instead, Owen just walks off the staircase, leaving everything behind just like Curt did 4 years ago.

(I’ll most likely be posting chapter 1 later and start posting other things about it on here.)

-💙💛

Basically Owen just leaves/gets away for the sake of the story because we hear from him in chapter 2. I didn’t want to kill either of them off right away because they’ll bump into each other at random times(like one chapter will be based at the bar) and the last three chapters or so will be based around the staircase. He might fall at the end, but I didn’t think of an ending yet!!

So I’ve decided to start writing my little Curtwen book on here because Ao3’s being dumb 😭

It’s called My Unreliable Partner and it takes place after Curt shoots the gun out of Owen’s hand.

He doesn’t kill him when he had the chance because he thought that maybe they could talk about what happened, but instead, Owen just walks off the staircase, leaving everything behind just like Curt did 4 years ago.

(I’ll most likely be posting chapter 1 later and start posting other things about it on here.)

-💙💛

Chapter One

Would you walk off?

[Curt’s perspective]

I shot the gun out of his hand. It all happened so fast.. First, I just figured out that Owen was alive this whole time, and now we’re standing on the same staircase that I thought I lost him on.

I couldn’t bear to use the gun on him, even though I felt so wronged at the moment, I simply couldn’t..

“So this is it? Here we are, standing face to face once again. You’re now free to make your own decisions Curt. You shot the gun out of my hand, you can do anything you put your mind to if you try hard enough. Why don’t you shoot me? Move on, you will have to at one point. So why not now?” Owen stared into my eyes as I dropped the gun and kicked it out of reach. Maybe now he would know that I can’t pull myself to, not after all this time, all the time we’ve spent together..

Owen now looked pissed. I thought that what I did was the right thing, a sign of peace. He looked over to the side, seeing if the gun was still there, which it was not. All I could do was just wait for him to say something, anything..

“Why didn’t you shoot? Why did you throw away the only thing that made you invincible in a moment like this? That gun was the leverage that you had on me since day one. You could’ve easily gotten rid of me this time, and you blew it. You blew it like you always did!” He was practically screaming at this point. I wasn’t even able to hear his own voice. It sounded so different..

“You can’t blame me for something I couldn’t bring myself to do. I have my reasons for not shooting you and I also have my reasons for leaving you that night, now that’s something you can blame me for. What are you going to do, walk off this staircase like the coward you’ve always been!” I covered my mouth when I said that last part. Owen was definitely not a coward. He was fearless when it came to our job. And he showed it very well. He didn’t let anyone mess with us, get in our way. Even if it meant killing them first.

After seconds which felt like hours at this point, Owen walked off after all, not looking back at me as he left. I felt my body begin to become numb. I regretted my words, my actions. I didn’t even try to stop him, I just froze. This was my only chance to talk with him and I did truly blow it.

-(Here’s Chapter 1 of My Unreliable Partner. I hope you guys like it and chapter two will probably be posted tomorrow or the next day💛💙)-

So I’ve decided to start writing my little Curtwen book on here because Ao3’s being dumb 😭

It’s called My Unreliable Partner and it takes place after Curt shoots the gun out of Owen’s hand.

He doesn’t kill him when he had the chance because he thought that maybe they could talk about what happened, but instead, Owen just walks off the staircase, leaving everything behind just like Curt did 4 years ago.

(I’ll most likely be posting chapter 1 later and start posting other things about it on here.)

-💙💛

Just made this funky little thing. Dangerously yours and Curtwen have my heart completely. So why not combine them?? 💛💙

Definitely making more Buffering edits soon! I’m so ready for more people to fall in love with this funky little web series 🤭🤭🤭

Buffering in 2024? YES!! I think we should definitely bring Buffering a web series back, I love it so much!! ❤️🤭

Can’t wait for Cinderellas castle tomorrow!!! 🤭💙💛🥳

My boys 💙💛🤭😭

I have so many Curtwen edits, it’s crazy! Just made this one today