Some Must Watch Yoongi Performance Fancams

Some Must Watch Yoongi Performance Fancams

In no particular order (Long post warning)

1. 160315 KBS Open Concert Recording: Dope by ARIS 

WHY? Silver Haired Yoongi + Tongue Technology 

2. 151231 Gayo Daejejun: I Need U + Run by It’s Your Day

WHY? Mint Yoongi + Piano + Sleeveless Run

3. 160604 BTS Smart Campaign: Fire by It’s Your Day

WHY? That outfit + Lip bites + Eye Contact

4. 151106 Hope Concert: I Need U by It’s Your Day

WHY? Blonde Yoongi + Iconic look

5.  160723 HYYH in Beijing: Tomorrow by It’s Your Day

WHY? Sweaty blonde Dance God Yoongi

6. 160907 2018 PyeongChang Winter Olympics Concert: FIRE by MeToo

WHY? Cute, fluffy, extra brown haired Yoongi

7.   150920 All Force One: Cypher 2 & 3 by Real Recognize Real

WHY? Because All Force One was a blessing

8.  151229 SAF: Run by Pop! Suga

WHY? Mint haired iconic look

9.  161027 M Countdown in Jeju: Blood Sweat & Tears by M2

WHY? That look! The day the Jeju winds blessed us!

10.  Wings Tour Japan Edition 2017: First Love - TBS

WHY? Close-up First Love shots

Someone: I hate you

Me: No one hates me more than myself

Can we talk about psych wards for a sec?

Can we talk about how they’re not padded cells and straight jackets like in the movies? That they’re not full of people screaming? That they’re not this cold gray hell? Wanna know what it’s really like?

It’s wearing PJs all day and nobody giving a fuck about what you look like. It’s encouraging your new friends to get better, that they’re life is worth living and that they’re valued. It’s making friends in a day or two. It’s realizing you’ve got more in common with people than you thought. It’s watching stupid movies when the staff decides we can have a little bit of movie time that night before lights out. Talking in group, not about the scary, soulless monsters in our heads but talking about how to conquer them. We laugh. We joke. We draw and play with playdoh. Celebrate when the cafeteria sends muffins with breakfast instead of gross hospital eggs or boring cereal. The mixed feelings when someone leaves because you’ll miss them but we all hug good bye and wish them luck because they’re okay. They’re okay now. We’ll miss them but dear god you’re so proud when you get to see someone walk out with their bag of belongings and their family. We remember what it’s like to live. Sure we meet with doctors and one on one therapists and discuss safety plans, but it’s not a scary thing. Let me tell you this, when I spent 5 days in a ward summer of 2016 I was terrified. I got there and went straight to my room once they assigned me a place, made my bed with the blankets provided, got a book from the Game Room and hid under the covers and read. I think I still was wearing my hospital issued socks. I knew nothing about my roommates, only their names from the notecards above the door. When they came in for lights out they smiled and introduced themselves and asked why I was here. They saw my shocked face because I didn’t expect anyone to ask me “what’s your story?” Just didn’t see it coming. They told me theirs so I told mine. I became friends with everyone else there. They were all so sweet. Probably not what you’d expect to hear about a bunch of suicidal, depressed, anxious, bipolar, etc. kids but hey, we’re not our fucking illnesses. We all went through hell and we all walked out again, maybe with scars and bad memories, but we came out strong.

We’re just kids. We complained about the food and made each other cheesy motivational posters for their rooms when they got discharged. We painted each other’s nails and reminded everyone of their strengths. We talked about what we’d do once we were home, the unanimous decision was to shower and finally shave our legs since there were no razors allowed on our ward, and eat some real food and go on Tumblr or Instagram or something.

We’re just kids. Honestly, we’re like you. If you find out someone spent time doing inpatient stuff because of their mental illness, don’t you dare judge them for it. Don’t think they’re crazy or psycho. That’s not what we are. What we are are kids who needed to go away for a bit and escape the world in a safe environment. Where people got it. Where they understood. Where we couldn’t hurt ourselves and got a fighting chance to recover.

Destroy the stigma around inpatient treatment. Change the mindset surrounding mental illness.

Keep fighting folks

Why my kids will not go to school.

Today In drama class my friends, teacher and I were talking about kids and how many we wanted and what we wanted to name then. I then told my teacher that I was not going to put my kids in school. My friend asked “do you plan on homeschooling them and I replied back with “no” this continued to confuse my friends but my teacher nodded and asked me what I meant by saying that my kids were not going to go to school so I explained to them what I meant. 

I told them that there were way to many things to explore and discover out in the world then be stuck in a classroom for six hours learning things that they will forget after a booklet of papers stapled together to determine their fate at the end of the term was written on and passed in never to be seen again. 

I told them that my children were going to travel the world and learn things that they would never read sitting at a desk or hear listening to a teacher talk at the front of a classroom for an hour. 

My friend then asked “Well what about reading and writing?” 

I told her that yes I would obviously teach them how to read and write and count money and add and subtract and how to tell time. 

They will learn their directions by reading a compass and navigating by the stars that they have looked up at every night and not just said “Oh those are pretty.” They will call them by their names and know what star burns the brightest of them all. They will learn to count money not only in Canadian coins but in other currencies also. How many times have we been taught that in math class?

They will be taught to write about their adventures they take and the people they meet and they will learn to read books about the wilderness and they will read about the different cultures before we stop at our destinations. 

“They won’t have any friends!” One of my friends exclaimed.

Yes, they will…

They will have more friends than any of the kids at school can count because they will have friends all around the world. 

“They won’t get to see them!” 

Just because you don’t see your friends doesn’t mean you don’t have them. 

“Well what about the government?” 

What about them?

“It’s the law that your children have to go to school.” 

They are learning, they are learning more than they will ever learn cooped up in a classroom of 30 kids with one teacher who is barley able to keep everyone quiet let alone be able to have one on one time with their students. 

“What if people tell you your a bad parent?” 

there will always be people judging people in the world. While they sit there judging me their kids are sitting in a classroom for six hours, 7 days a week. 10 months a year for 12 years…

I will be spending time traveling and teaching my kids the true meaning of living.

Happiness. 

My dream

Teacher: What do you want to be in the future?

Friend: A doctor

Friend: An astronaut

Friend: To end world hunger

Me: Dead

Teacher: ....

Everyone: ....

Me: ...preferably anytime soon

What is depression like

Depression is like an uninvited guest at a dinner party you didn’t want to be at anyways.

It is disruptive and loud and takes all of the attention away from everything else.

It pushes you around and brings up events from years ago that you would rather have forgotten about.

It is frustrating and annoying to everyone else, but all you can do is ignore it. Hope it goes away. Maybe even pretend it’s not there for a while.

But you can’t do that forever.

Depression is like a crashing wave while you’re still in the water.

You weren’t prepared for it. It came out of no where and now that’s all you can see.

Your mouth is still open and you swallow it down. You choke. You begin to drown.

It is terrifying.

Depression is like being on anesthetic but you’re still awake.

You can’t feel anything. You can’t move for hours. Days. Weeks…

It takes over your whole body and for a while you don’t really care

All you are is tired.

But you’re not allowed to sleep. You just lie awake, unable to do anything but watch in horror as everything you know and love falls apart.

Depression is like a million alarms going off at once.

It is a warning. It’s all you can hear but nobody seems to notice, they’re used to it by now.

The noise consumes you. It eats you alive. You beg for it to stop, but it never does.

Until one day you can’t fight it anymore.

You sink. Like an anchor, you sink to the bottom and you don’t make your way back up again.

You feel as if you can never recover. You feel like an empty shell of the person you used to be.

You are left more broken then ever before, the kind of broken that isn’t quite fixable.

And it’s all because of depression.