Im Actually Sobbing Why Do I Do This To Myself

i’m actually sobbing why do i do this to myself

i actually need to stop reading angst

ILY FOR THIS ITS SO GOODHSISNSISBX

bandaids are no good for heartache - y.j.w.

summary — with jungwon so busy with work, you've been feeling like less of a priority to him.

pairing — bf!idol!jungwon x gf!reader

genre — angst with a pinch of fluff

wc — 4.5k

warnings — lots of break up talk, super brief mention of potential cheating (no cheating happens tho), jungwon on his knees begging (very much self-indulgent and i am not sorry)

a/n — #ILOVEANGST <3 tbh i'm not super proud of this but i rly wanted to put smth out during my lil uni break. also i almost wrote my name instead of "y/n" multiple times while writing this ... the delusions are getting to me i think. anyway this whole fic is extremely self-indulgent (mostly the begging i just love when men beg *evil laughs*)

your eyes sting as they stay trained on the screen of your ipad, illuminating your face in the dark room. it’s been weeks since you saw him last, and now you watch your boyfriend dancing across the stage in a livestream of his concert, catching it in the early hours of the morning because of the time zone difference. he looks so happy. he always looks the happiest on stage, doing what he loves. you continue to watch him jump around and laugh with his members, trying to remember the last time you saw him smile like that with you.

as the concert comes to an end, you watch jungwon’s sweet grin as he waves goodbye to his fans. fans. honestly, that’s what you’re starting to feel like too. it’s been months since you felt his presence in yours—even when he’s with you, it feels like his mind is spiraling elsewhere, never keeping his attention on you. is it his fault? of course not, and you know that. being as young as he is, and having as many responsibilities as he has can definitely take a toll on someone, especially on top of constantly being on the road. although you’ve always been supportive of him, there are times where you feel like you’re not getting enough back. this is something that’s been in the back of your mind for a while now, but you could never bring yourself to voice it to him. you know how much jungwon appreciates your support and care, and you cannot fathom putting more of a burden on him when he’s already so stressed and busy. so, you stay silent, just as you always have. it’s just a little seed of concern anyway.

what you didn’t notice though is how over the years, that seed of concern started growing as resentment in the silence of your heart, spreading roots that tangled with your love for him, making it harder and harder to separate the two.

your thoughts and worries fade into nothing as you fall into a quiet slumber, your body curling into just one side of the bed in jungwon's absence.

--

the day of jungwon's return home arrives like any other. it’s a routine you’ve fallen into—knowing he'll walk through the door sometime in the evening, bringing with him the familiar mix of exhaustion and relief. as you await his arrival, you decide to make his favourite dinner as a small surprise. 

as you prepare the dining table, you hear the rattling of the door knob, turning around just in time to see your fatigued boyfriend come through the door. despite his exhaustion, he wears a lazy smile on his face, always so happy to see you.

“wonie! i missed you so much!” you jump into his embrace, his arms instinctually wrapping around you, dropping his bags in the process. you feel his face fall into the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath as if to ingrain your scent into his mind.

“i missed you a lot too, baby,” he pulls back to look at you and give you a chaste kiss before setting you down, keeping his arms wrapped around you. “i’m hungry as hell though. we had snacks for the road but fuckass sunghoon ate them all in the first half of the ride.” 

you snicker at his expression of distaste towards his friend’s actions. “well, lucky for you, i made your favourite!” you gesture towards the table set up with your home cooked meal. you watch jungwon’s eyes sparkle with excitement as he looks between you and the dining table. you feel his arms wrap around you tighter as he pecks the top of your head. “what did i do to deserve you, y/n…” he asks rhetorically, affection prominent in his voice.

“yeah, sometimes i ask myself the same thing,” you reply teasingly.

as you two start to eat away at your hard work, jungwon tells you all about what happened at the concerts they had in the past two months. 

“no way, he did that? oh my god, that’s so dangerous!”

“i’m serious, he jumped off the platform while it was still in the air! it was insane, but you know what jay’s like during concerts, so it’s not too shocking.”

you sigh as you poke the food on your plate with your spoon. “i wish i could’ve been there. the livestream didn’t show that,” you huff.

jungwon smiles at your pouting. “well, we’re having a show here in two weeks, so you can come to that one!”

he looks at you expectantly, waiting for your squeal of excitement, but it doesn’t come. what he gets instead is a blank stare, that quickly turns into a hesitant smile. “oh, nice!” you try to muster up as much excitement as you can, but your disappointment is too evident. he just came back and they’ve already planned the next concerts, meaning he’s not going to be around at all for those two weeks since he’ll be too busy preparing and practicing. you’re going to be alone again. you can’t help but feel a bit selfish for thinking this way, but you’re starting to feel like you don’t know how much longer you can handle this for. at the same time, you feel like you can’t bring it up because you don’t want to burden jungwon even further.

he raises an eyebrow at you. “nice? that’s all i get? i thought you’d be more excited about this.”

“i am excited, wonie,” you lie as you start to get up to clear your plate when you feel your eyes begin to burn with tears. as you walk towards and into the kitchen, his eyes don’t leave your face for a second.

“okay, obviously you’re not, y/n. i know you, and i know when you’re not telling the truth,” he says, his eyebrows so furrowed that they’re almost connected. “what’s wrong?”

an uncomfortable tension starts to settle in the air as you continue to lie to him. “nothing’s wrong! i’m just tired.” you hope he didn’t hear the slight crack in your voice as the tears start threatening to fall. unfortunately for you, jungwon knows you better than you know yourself and he knows when you’re upset. he heard the familiar crack loud and clear, and he knows exactly what it means.

“wait, baby, are you crying?”

you swallow down the tears rising in an attempt to hide them from jungwon. “no, what do you mean?” you try to mask your sadness with a chuckle, but jungwon knows you better than that.

“my love, you know you can tell me anything, right? talk to me,” he says softly.

and apparently, that’s your last straw. the second his words hit your ear, the dam breaks.

alarms blare in his mind as soon as he sees the first tear fall, screaming for him to get up and wrap you into his chest, as he usually does in this type of situation. and so, that’s exactly what he does, just as he has in the past. the only difference here is that when he reaches for your crying form, you brush him off and leave for your room. jungwon feels his heart crack while he watches you walk away from him in this state. this is the first time he’s felt like he didn’t know how to help you, since he doesn’t even know what he’s done wrong.

after hearing the door of your shared room shut, jungwon cleans up the rest of the dining table. he decided to give you some space to cool down, while also giving himself some space to figure out how to approach this. now that he’s thinking about it, he hasn’t seen you cry in months. you’ve always put on a smile for him, and now he can’t help but wonder what he's been missing. after what feels like a long few minutes, he decides he can't wait any longer and heads to your room. he doesn't want to push too soon, but he can't stand the thought of you hurting alone. lifting his hand to knock on the door, he calls out for you.

“y/n? can i come in?” hearing a muffled noise of approval from your side of the door, he hesitantly enters the room. the first thing he sees is you lying under the covers with your back facing him.

you feel a dip in the bed behind you as he sits next to your sad figure. not knowing what to say, he gently smooths down your hair, hoping to relieve you from even an ounce of your heartache. the tenderness of the act, although small, is enough for you to start crying again.

before jungwon came into the room, your mind was reeling with thoughts about how this is going to work out. how can you tell him that you need more from him when he’s already working himself to the bone for his career? you can’t put that pressure on him, so instead you came to the conclusion that maybe it’s time to let go. he deserves to focus on his career, and you can’t keep waiting for someone who's never fully present. when he starts petting your head to cheer you up, the guilt hits you like a truck. you sit up, thinking it’s better if you just bite the bullet now.

jungwon worriedly looks into your teary eyes, now filled with sadness and a hint of something more complex. he’s never seen you like this before, and it scares him. sure, he’s seen you cry before. many times actually. after all, you’ve been together for two and a half years. but usually, the first thing you do when you’re upset is lean to him for comfort. the second he opens his arms for you, you fall right into them. this time, it almost feels like you’re pushing him away, like you don’t want his help. and that terrifies him. 

his eyes are stuck on your wandering ones, as you don’t have it in you to look at him as you say this. jungwon’s hand goes to hold your cheek, gently urging you on, encouraging you to speak. he holds you so softly, so delicately, as if you’re the most fragile thing in the world. your eyes shut with guilt. you need to get it out now, before the moment slips away from you.

“jungwon, i don’t think i can do this anymore.” your eyes are still closed, afraid that seeing his face will make you regret your decision. the words leave your mouth much weaker than you intended them to, but jungwon hears you loud and clear. hoping you don’t mean what he thinks you mean, he asks for confirmation.

“what can’t you do anymore, darling?” although you can’t see him, you hear the shakiness in his voice, suggesting that he’s holding back tears. when you finally open your eyes, you’re met with the view of his glistening eyes and sad smile, as if he’s unable to accept your words.

your heart aches at his state, but you have to do this. for the sake of both you and him. “jungwon, please don’t make this harder than it has to be.” 

his heart shatters at that. disbelief, sadness, and anger seeps into his bones. harder than it has to be? his beloved girlfriend of almost three years is breaking up with him, is this supposed to be easy? 

what part of losing you could ever be easy?

“what? are you serious?” he manages to muster out, the words barely audible in his state of shock.

he stands up from the bed, hand going straight through his hair in frustration. “okay, y/n, what the fuck is going on? why are you doing this? you’re breaking up with me, for no reason, and you think i’m just going to be okay with it? what, you think i’m not going to fight for us?” 

“jungwon, i’m sorry--”

“no, y/n, you’re not sorry, because this isn’t happening. we’re not breaking up, because there’s literally no reason to.” he looks at you with a twinge of insanity lingering behind his eyes. have you lost your mind? no way in hell is he letting you go, especially when you two have been fine until now.

but now you’re starting to get frustrated with the tone he’s taking with you. jungwon’s talking to you like you’re crazy, as if this is something you decided on a whim. you’ve both raised your voices at each other before, but this time it feels like new territory. “alright, tone it down, jungwon.” you say, gentle but firm.

your demand seems to anger him even further as he stares at you with disbelief etched into his features.

“oh my god, y/n, can you even hear yourself? telling me to tone it down when you just tried to dump me, of course i’m going to be upset!”

“i really don’t want to fight right now—”

“do you think i want this to be happening right now? of course not! i just came back from tour and i’m so fucking tired. i don’t want to be here right now either!” the words slip out quickly, before he can even think about them. for a split second, his face twitches with a hint of regret, but he quickly masks it again when he sees your stare piercing into his.

at that, you snap. “yeah, i can tell! you never want to be here, and i know that because you never fucking are! you’re always off on tour or at group dinners, and i basically live by myself at this point!” the words spill out uncontrollably, too late to stop them even if you tried. your tears are all dry now, the previous feeling of sadness in your body now being replaced with anger.

“you’re never here, jungwon. and even when you are, it’s like i don’t even exist to you!”

jungwon blinks at your outburst. you’ve never vocalized these feelings before, and it takes him by surprise. he had no idea you felt this way.

“y/n, that’s not fair. this is my job—you knew this when we started dating.” his voice is calmer now, but there’s a hint of wariness, as if he’s trying to tread carefully, afraid that your frustration with his career might mean you’re really ready to walk away.

before you can respond, jungwon’s phone buzzes, interrupting the charged moment. he glances at the screen, and you can see the frustration carve deeper lines on his face. “it’s my manager,” he mutters, eyes narrowed. “i can’t believe this is happening right now.”

the irony makes you scoff, jungwon head snapping away from his phone to look at you. “this is what i mean, jungwon! i know it’s not your fault but i can’t keep doing this anymore! even when you’re with me, your mind is constantly somewhere else!” you exclaim exasperatedly.

“okay, y/n, but what am i supposed to do about that?” he yells out, his voice raising once again. “i just don’t know what you want from me right now. you knew about my job since we met, you knew what you were getting into,” he breathes out, frustration filling him to the brim.

“yeah, i know, and i thought i would be okay with it, but i can’t keep waiting for you like a sad puppy while you’re out having the time of your life with who knows who.” you don’t mean that. you know you don’t. but right now you can only see red, and all you want to do is hurt him the way you’ve been hurting. 

and that you did.

your words hit jungwon in the chest like a truck. of everything that’s been said today, this one hurts the most. as if his heart wasn’t already in pieces, it feels like an anvil has crashed down on the fragments, crushing them even further. his eyes fill to the brim with tears, and he does everything he can to keep them from falling.

as your words continue to sink in, hurt flashes in his eyes. “you think i’m out there having the time of my life? with “who knows who”? you really think i would cheat on you?” he looks at you incredulously as he says that, as if he can’t believe those words even came out of your mouth. jungwon’s voice is quieter now, everything coming out in a whisper. “you have no idea how hard it is for me to leave you every time i go on tour,” he sighs, his voice laced with frustration and shock. “i’m not some asshole who’s choosing this over you. i’m doing it because i care about us, y/n! it’s like you don’t even know me anymore.”

the pain in his voice goes straight to your heart, but you know you can’t stop now. “i barely do, jungwon, that’s what i’m trying to tell you! this relationship is going nowhere because we’re never around each other anymore… i thought i’d be able to handle you constantly being away but i guess i overestimated myself.”

jungwon lets out a bitter laugh at your remark. “overestimated yourself or your love for me?” he pauses for a second before continuing, “you know what, maybe you’re right. maybe it is best if we break up,” he looks at you, his sweet brown orbs now replaced with piercing feline eyes filled with anger and sadness, “because if you really loved me, you wouldn’t have given up this easily.” his fists are clenched tightly as he speaks, nails digging into his palms almost painfully. he doesn’t really want to break up, right now he’s just throwing your words back at you in a pathetic attempt to hurt you back.

your heart sinks at his words. “oh my god, jungwon, don’t you get it? it’s been like this for months now, this isn’t a new issue,” you stand up and face him, hands reaching out for his arms to hold him down, trying to ground him to get him to listen to you. “i’ve reached my limit, jungwon. we’re at two different stages in our lives right now, and i can’t keep spending my life waiting for you while you’re out living yours,” you say, your voice much more gentle now as you watch his eyes soften back into the adorable big brown eyes you’ve always loved to lose yourself in.

he squeezes his eyes shut, struggling to contain the whirlwind of emotions swirling within him. “i can’t help my job, y/n. i want to be there for you, but you’re acting like i’m actively choosing my job over you as if i have a choice... it’s just not that simple.”

“i know, none of this is.” your hands move to brush his overgrown bangs out of his face. silence hangs heavy between you, both of you grappling with your emotions. jungwon’s gaze flickers away, and for a brief moment, he looks lost. “i didn’t realize how hard this was for you,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “i just... i thought you understood.”

you soften at his sad tone, all the anger drained from your veins now. “i do, jungwon, but i feel so alone sometimes, and i can’t go on like this anymore. this is what’s best for us. for both of us.” despite the tears softly trickling down your face, your voice was steady, almost serene, as if you had been preparing yourself for this moment. jungwon’s confusion deepened, his brows knitting together as he tried to process the calmness that radiated from you.

“how can you be so calm about this?” jungwon asked with a sniffle, almost in disbelief. his voice had softened, but there was a hint of desperation behind it. “you’re just… okay with breaking up? just like that?” his heart drops to the bottom of his stomach with the realization that this is really happening. you’re really breaking up with him right now. his eyes fill with tears for the nth time this evening as he looks at you, waiting for an answer.

you met his gaze, and for a moment, jungwon saw a flicker of something he couldn’t quite place—was it resignation, or acceptance? he couldn’t tell, and that only made him feel more unsettled.

“i don’t know, jungwon,” you replied with a sigh, glancing away for a moment. “i’ve thought about this so much… and maybe i’ve just come to terms with it. we need different things, jungwon. you need someone who’ll be okay with your busy schedule, and i need someone who’s always going to be there for me.”

at your last sentence, jungwon’s resolve breaks, salty tears flowing out of his beautiful eyes. 

you need someone who’ll always be there for you. you’re saying you need someone else. 

hearing you say that you need more than him pains him to no end, as if each word is a dagger to his heart. he feels a surge of panic, the thought of a future without you consuming him. his mind races, replaying every moment, every laugh, every shared dream, and he realizes how much he’s taken for granted. he wants to scream, to tell you that he can change, that he can be better, but the words feel stuck in his throat. instead, he stares at you, feeling helpless and terrified, grappling with the reality that the love of his life feels abandoned in a relationship he thought was built on understanding.

jungwon’s face crumples at the thought of you needing someone else, his expression torn between hurt and understanding. “you’re right,” he says after a moment, his voice barely above a whisper. “i haven’t been giving you what you need, and i hate that i’ve made you feel so alone.”

your eyes widen as jungwon gets on his knees as he reaches for your hands, holding them tightly in his, as if anchoring himself. “y/n, i know i’ve been so focused on my job that i haven’t been there for you. but i don’t want you to feel like you need more than what i can give. i want to be enough for you—i need to be enough for you. i’m ready to change, to do whatever it takes to make this work.”

“jungwon—” he cuts you off as he notices your hesitancy to accept his words. 

“please, y/n. i’m not letting you go like this. not when i know i can give you what you need. just give me a chance to show you. please, baby, don’t leave me like this.” his hands are wrapped around your smaller ones, his watery, pleading eyes looking up at you as he begs you to stay with him.

you want to believe him, you really do. you’re just scared of nothing changing. he opens his mouth to speak again when he notices your silence. his grip on your hands tightens, as if he’s afraid you might slip away. “i know i’ve messed up,” he says, his voice raw and honest. “but i’m willing to fight for us. i’ll make time for you, i’ll change for you. just give me the chance to prove that i can be the boyfriend you deserve. the one you need.”

“please, princess, trust me.”

you feel a tear run down your cheek at his words. “i’m scared, jungwon. but i want to believe you. we can try again, but if things don’t change…” your words trail off, shaking your head while looking into his eyes, gesturing that this is his last chance.

“i understand, baby,” he replies, his tone earnest. “and i swear i’ll make it happen. i’ll show you that i can put you first. just please don’t walk away from me. i love you so much, y/n.”

“i love you too, jungwon.” you smile at him, a twinge of sadness still evident in your expression, a result of the heated argument you two just had. you pull him up by his cheeks, your lips meeting his a kiss filled with love, fear, and relief. you taste the saltiness of his tears on his lips as they continue to fall from his eyes. when you pull away from him, he gently drags you down onto the bed with him, his warm body enveloping yours in a tight embrace. you hear his uncontrollable sniffles coming from behind you, making you turn to face him. your hands instinctively move to his face to wipe his tears away, and his eyes close at the feeling of your fingers carefully treading his soft skin.

“wonie, baby, it’s okay, i’m here with you.” you whisper to him, kissing his nose in reassurance, trying to soothe his emotions that are still in the process of coming down from their high. his heart rate starts to slow at the sound of your sweet voice calling him by your nicknames for him again.

“i just can’t believe i almost lost you, princess. that was so scary,” your heart aches knowing that you made him hurt like that, but at the same time, you knew it had to be done. “please don’t ever do that to me again. i promise i’ll never give you a reason to feel like you need more than me ever again.” his hands move to rest on top of yours which are still placed on his cheeks.

“i won’t, baby. i didn’t want to hurt you, but i guess i needed you to understand how i felt. i never wanted to bring it up before because i didn’t want to add my needs to your already full plate.” you can’t shake the slight feeling of embarrassment that rises at the realization that this whole argument happened because you hid this one thing from him.

“you can always tell me anything, my love. your needs are my priority, your happiness being the most important thing to me over everything else in the world. please don’t ever think otherwise.” his eyes don’t leave your glossy, embarrassed ones as he speaks, ensuring that you remember his words. his chapped lips move to leave a soft kiss on your forehead, his lips barely grazing your skin as if he’s scared you’ll fade away at his touch. “and next time there’s something on your mind, please just tell me as soon as it comes up. slapping a bandaid on it is just going to let it fester and blow up again, and i can’t stress enough how badly i don’t want to lose you.” 

“i understand, wonie. i’m not going anywhere.”

he nods, relief washing over his features. “no more hiding our feelings, okay?” a small smile breaking through his tears.

“okay,” you promise, feeling the warmth of his hands still cradling yours, grounding you in the moment.

in that shared silence, you both know that challenges may still lie ahead, but you know you have each other. and right now, that’s more than enough.

i’m screaming

𝓂𝔂 𝖻𝘰ᴏ ꒰ ᵎᵎ 🪜𖧧ヾ (en- archive)

( ot7 ) ᵎᵎ 𝓫𝖺𝖻𝗒 𝘂 𝘴𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗅𝘥 𝗅𝖾𝘁 𝓶𝖾 𝓁𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝘺𝑜𝒖

synopsis ! enha's luv language

content ! bf!enha x gf!reader ⸝⸝ fluff ⸝⸝ warnings : none ⸝⸝ WC.15O-18O per member

heeseung

⸝⸝⸝ physical touch

whenever you are around him, expect him to be all over you. weather it's having his hands in your back pocket, or his arms around your waist. 

it was sunghoon's birthday party. you were sitting on heeseung's lap on the couch while singing happy birthday to sunghoon. once they had cut the cake, they told everyone to come and get a slice if they wanted one.

 "heeseung, you want some cake?" you asked him. he nodded in response while he was drinking some fruit punch. you tried to get up when heeseung suddenly held onto your waist tighter. "where are you going?" you looked at him with a confused expression. "you said you wanted cake right? i was going to go get us some." 

"i'll come with you" he said as he placed you on your feet, standing up from the couch. he grabbed you by the waist (again) slipping his hand in your back pocket and he walked you over to the table.

jay

⸝⸝⸝ quality time

you and jay never really had time to be together. you were both adults with jobs and responsibilities. every single second jay had time off, he was always with you.

you and jay were watching a movie at his place. the blue light shining on both of you, creating a comfortable atmosphere. while you were watching the tv—captivated by the scene playing-–jay was looking at you.

the way your eyes were lit up by the light. the way you cuddled into your blanket. everything about you was so cute to him.

he scooted closer to you, pulling your body to his. you looked up at him, softly giggling and smiling up at him. "watch'a up to lil bro?" you said with a goofy smile.

he let out a small chuckle. "you looked cold, gotta warm you up." he pecked your temple, placing his hand on your thigh while his other arm wrapped around your waist.

jaeyun

⸝⸝⸝ sharing his hobbies

jake loves hanging out with you, its something he looks forward to every.single.day, so why not share his favorite thing to do play? soccer

jake took you to the park, it was a rainy day—he said it was more fun playing in the rain. he had your hand in one hand and the bag with all the soccer equipment in the other. when you made it over to the soccer field, he set the bag on a nearby bench, sitting down on it and putting on his cleats—he let you borrow some old ones he had since he was 8.

"ughhh jake! my hairs wet" he looked up at you with an evil smile, "you'll live"

jake took you over to the grass, teaching how to play soccer. you were trying to kick the ball when you slipped. jake rushed over to you, trying to hold in his laugh as you glared at him. he grabbed your hand, lifting you back up. he softly pecks your lips and wraps his arm around your shivering body. 

"you okay mamas?" he mimicked a concerned voice, looking at you with a pout. you gently slap his arm, "quit it sim!"

sunghoon

⸝⸝⸝ spoiling you

If there was something you wanted while you both were out, best believe sunghoon would buy it for you.

you and sunghoon were on a date at the mall, eating at the food courts. he noticed that you had been looking at something behind him. he turned to look at what you were looking at and saw a cute little clothing store. behind the window was a mannequin wearing a gorgeous dress. he he looked back at you, he knew he had to buy the dress for you.

"you really like that dress huh?" you eyes shifted back to him. you didn't even noticed he looked behind him and saw the dress you've been staring at for the past couple of minutes.

you hummed, not even paying attention to what he said. he chuckled and repeated it again, "you like that dress?" you shyly smiled while nodding. "its pretty huh?" he said with a small smile. "i.ll buy it for you" you tilted your head to the side, giggling. "as if you got enough money for that" you teased.

sunghoon scoffed, standing up and walking backwards towards the store. "watch, my card wont decline." your eyes widen, you didn't think he would actually want to buy the dress for you. you stood up. speed walking over to him. "sunghoon, you really dont have to buy it for me." he looked down at you, the corner of his lips lifting. "i want to" 

sunoo

⸝⸝⸝ writing love notes to you

ever since sunoo had a crush on you, he always wrote notes to you. he noticed how your eyes always lit up and you read notes from your "secret admirer" and continued to write them for you even after he confessed to you.

you and sunoo lived together so every morning, after waking up, you always saw either a sticky note or a piece of paper sitting on your night stand. they were filled with words of love, showing how much he enjoys waking up to the sight of you everyday and how sad he was to leave you every single morning to go to work.

the note would usually go something like : "good morning my love, you look so peaceful sleeping. my pretty baby, i love you so much. have a good day today, i love you." with hearts all over the paper.

jungwon

⸝⸝⸝ taking care of you

when you're sick, expect jungwon to be there. he cared about you so much that he wanted to always to take care of you and be right next to you.

you were laying there, your bed filled with used tissues. your forehead warn and your nose continuously running.

you had texted jungwon, telling him you wouldn't be able to go to school today and to not wait for you at the bus stop. he knew that your parents wouldn't be home to take care of you, as they have jobs to attend to, so as soon as he got the text, he came running to your house. 

he knocked on the door, waiting for you to open it and let him in. when you finally do, he takes in your appearance. 

you had a blanket wrapped around you, your nose was red and your hair was a mess. "jungwon? what are you doing here? why aren't you on the bus already?" you continue to ask questions till jungwon cut you off. "you said you were sick so i came over to take care of you"

riki

⸝⸝⸝ teasing

whenever riki had the opportunity to tease you, best believe he's going to take it. he's not really good with showing affection, so he shows it through making fun of you.

you were doing your work in class, minding your own business. riki was sitting next to you, bored out his mind. you weren't paying attention to him so he decided to make you pay attention to him.

"yn, help me pwease?" he said in a whiny baby voice. you gave him the biggest side eye. "do it yourself" he pouted—exaggeratedly—and crossed his arms. "some of us aren't as studious as you… nerd" he said with a mischievous smirk.

you knew he was joking so you played along with him. you turned your head at a speed you didn't even know was possible. "shut up loser, at least im gonna be young and rich, unlike you." you hit back with a sassy tone. "no no baby, i'll be the money maker, you won't even have to move an inch." he said as he winked at you.

perm tl - @orimuraa @seozii @silquids @saeivra @woniesprincess @jiiyen @wonwonpuffs (send an ask to be added !)

networks - @k-films @en-diaries

when i tell you i SCREAMED

.❦ ݁˖ Cause I’m so stupid in love - Lee Heeseung

(synopsis) ೀ winning a ticket to an enhypen fansign was the craziest thing that had ever happened to y/n. but what happens when she accidentally catches the eye of her ult bias? 𑁍ࠬܓ

idol!heeseung x fan!reader ✧₊⁺ fluff, crack ✧₊⁺ oneshot ✧₊⁺ wc 3.2k ✧₊⁺ petnames, includes all of enha, a couple of ocs as y/n’s friends

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"OMG! GUYS I GOT IN!! I'M GONNA MEET ENHYPEN!!" y/n screamed to her best friends on the phone. for context, y/n has just won the raffle for an enhypen fansign and now she is going to meet them and her husband ult bias, heeseung. hanni, seojun, and yuri were y/n's closest friends and her number one supporters. there was no doubt that y/n was drop-dead gorgeous. you would have to be blind to say that y/n wasn't pretty. so when her best friends heard the news about her meeting enhypen, they immediately started to plan how they can make heeseung fall for y/n. seojun was like the older brother that y/n never had while hanni and yuri were like the two older sisters she never had. "GIRL YES!!! WE NEED TO PLAN RIGHT NOW!! meet us at the mall in 15 babes!" yuri screamed, immediately thinking of y/n's outfit.

when everyone arrived at the mall, they all started shrieking and jumping up and down in excitement, ignoring the weird stares they got. "okay so i was already thinking about your outfit while hanni was looking at makeup looks and hairstyles and junnie was planning what you're gonna say to everyone!" yuri exclaimed. as a fashion major, this is basically what yuri has been waiting for her entire career. to dress up her baby to go and meet her man.

the afternoon was filled with many giggles, lots of trying on stuff, and taking a small snack break to replenish their energy. in the end, y/n ended up with a baby blue dress with a white shrug, a pair of black, platformed, mary jane shoes, and a white miu miu bag. "and for your hair, i was thinking of two little heart buns!" hanni giggled. "ughhh you're literally gonna be IRRESISTIBLE! heeseung will definitely want you girl!" hanni added.

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it was the day of the fansign and y/n was beyond nervous. she kept walking back and forth in her room, going over what she's gonna say to everyone. her best friends had just left after doing her hair and makeup, and wishing her the best of luck. it was now 15 minutes before y/n would leave her apartment and go meet enhypen.

the car ride to the fansign was the most nerve-wracking ride y/n had ever taken. she decided to take a taxi instead of the metro system as it would take her directly to the spot. "thank you!" y/n thanked the driver and quickly payed before brushing out her skirt. with as much confidence as she could get, she walked into the building (i have little to no knowledge of how fansigns work so this is all based off of how i think they go, please bear with me) and carefully took notes of the interior. she was given a ticket for her place in the line that read, 15. oh my lord- i'm number 15!!! i really won the lottery y/n thought to herself.

15 minutes later...y/n was finally able to see the boys come out and sit down at the long table. she could feel her heart pumping like crazy at the mere thought of being able to go up and meet her all-time favorite group. when it was her turn, she anxiously sat down in the first chair. the first member was jungwon. "hello, what's your name?" he asked, his dimples being much cuter up close. "h-hi, i'm y/n. i've been a fan since i-land," y/n said nervously, not believing that it was even real that she was meeting her favorite leader. "pretty name! i'm so grateful for fans like you. i always love hearing how long certain fans have been with us!" he smiled, melting y/n's heart. "of course! people like you guys who are so talented should definitely get as much recognition as possible!" the conversation was brief but as y/n had to move onto the next members. being able to talk to everyone felt insane but now, she was more nervous then ever because she was now sitting in front of the last member, her bias, lee heeseung. as she sat down, she felt his soft gaze on her and anyone could've noticed how heeseung looked like he just saw an angel. "hi i'm y/n...you're actually my ult bias so i'm so sorry if i seem super nervous right now," y/n laughed nervously, and heeseung found it adorable. "pretty name for a pretty girl," he smirked and y/n immediately felt her face heat up. "i'm flattered that i'm your bias. i'm a lot of people's bias, but you are by far, and if not, the prettiest girl i have ever seen." he flirted, wearing that smirk that y/n knew well. he took her hand into his and y/n felt like she was floating. her ult bias, whom she has been stanning since pre-debut, is holding. her. hand. and calling her pretty. if that's not winning in life, y/n doesn't know what is. they spent the rest of their short time together chatting but never once letting go of each other's hands.

when the staff told y/n she had to move along, heeseung put on the cutest pout ever and promised y/n that they'll see each other again soon, and scribbled something down in her album.

of course, y/n thought that she would never actually meet heeseung again and that it would be impossible, but here she was, back at home, staring at the phone number heeseung had left her. hey pretty girl, i really enjoyed your presence and i want to get to know you better. text me when you can, ###-###-####. xoxo, heeseung. "oh. my. god." she whispered, being in too much shock to even speak properly. the lee heeseung, had just given her his phone number. scrambling to find her phone, she grabbed it and immediately opened messages, going straight to her group chat with her best friends to fangirl over this.

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heeseung was not able to focus on anything else after y/n had sat down in front of him. he tried hard to focus on the other engenes he was meeting but ended up drifting his thoughts back to y/n. he did feel guilty about it and when an engene brought it up, he made the excuse of a bit of fatigue and jet lag. however, once the fansign came to an end, all the members met up just to chat with each other how it went. "sooo...anything to share?" jake asked the group, wanting to hear the juicy gossip. heeseung looked away, not wanting to share anything about his encounter with y/n. "yeah actually! there was this super sweet girl who said she has been stanning us since i-land! she kept complimenting how far we've come and how we deserve all the recognition and stuff! i think her name was y/n?" jungwon explained, immediately catching the interest of heeseung. "oh my gosh yeah! she was so sweet! i was able to chat about layla with her without getting argued with how someone's dog cough gaeul cough is smarter than layla!" jake said, side-eyeing sunghoon who just rolled his eyes at him. heeseung started to zone out a bit about y/n again. what if the members like her as well? wait, do i even like her? i just met her! heeseung had a lot on his mind but the slight nudge of jay's arm brought him back. "dude, you alright? you've been strangely quiet since we finished," jay asked, concerned for his only hyung. "yeah, just tired i guess..." heeseung replied, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away. jay just shrugged it off and got in the van to go back to their dorms and relax.

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meanwhile, y/n had been panicking about whether or not she should text heeseung. deciding to woman up, and shoot him a text, y/n sat on her bed and carefully thought out her messege.

y/n: hey this is y/n from the fansign :) is this heeseung?

heeseung?: oh hey y/n! i was starting to think that you'd never text!

y/n had to put her phone down for a moment to truly believe that LEE HEESEUNG was texting HER.

y/n: ah sorry about that! i just got some time to relax and text you >.<

heeseung: no worries! i was actually wondering if you wanted to maybe hang out sometime?

y/n: but i might get you into a scandal :( here, call me now if you can to discuss

y/n soon felt her phone ring and had to take a few deep breathes before answering. "hey heeseung! so when were you thinking of and where? it's kinda hard to go somewhere without you getting spotted!" y/n joked, earning a slight chuckle from the man on the phone. "yeah...maybe you could just come over to the dorms and we can watch a movie? i just want to get to know you better," heeseung replied, his voice slightly distorted from the phone. "y-yeah that sounds fine. how about next week??" y/n asked, not being able to help herself from stuttering due to the fact that her and her ult bias, lee heeseung, are gonna hang out together. "sure! i'll send you the address. arrive at 10am next friday y/n!" heeseung exclaimed. and then, all y/n heard was the sound of heeseung hanging up the call. "god dammit y/n, what did you get yourself into??" she groaned, pulling at her hair a bit. in all honesty, y/n really wanted to go over, but she also knew that if anyone saw her enter their dorm or be seen with heeseung, it could very well ruin his career. deciding to make the most of the opportunity, y/n put those thoughts on hold and decided that she would just have fun with heeseung. she would be lying though if she said that she didn't find heeseung hot and didn't have a crush on him, but she also didn't want her hangout with him tomorrow to be awkward. little did she know, there was some mutual pining going on between the two of them.

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the week leading up to their hangout was filled with many texts and life updates between heeseung and y/n. the pair quick;y grew super close and now more than ever, couldn't wait to meet up again.

the morning of, y/n was up early, making sure she had everything in order and ready to go over to heeseung's. hanni, yuri, and seojun came over to hype her up again as she was feeling quite nervous. getting dressed and doing her hair and makeup nice and simple, y/n decided to pass time by just chatting with her friends until it was time for her to go.

finally, it was time for y/n to hop on the metro system and take it down to the enhypen dorms. the ride there was easy as she didn't need to transfer lines. making her way up the stairs, she found herself in front of the door with a 1009 on the door as the apartment number. knocking on the door gave y/n worse anxiety because she was not only entering her crush/biases living space, BUT enhypen's! her all-time favorite group. the sound of the door opening knocked y/n out of her thoughts and she suddenly felt her heart rate increase. "OH MY GOSH YOU'RE THE GIRL HEESEUNG HYUNG LIK-MJSBHGSHS!" y/n was immediately greeted with sunoo yelling, only to get tackled by jungwon, who was attempting to get sunoo to shut up. y/n just watched the two pocketz roll around on the floor when someone clearing his throat caused the pair and y/n to look up. there was heeseung, standing in the hallway, looking like he would absolutely murder the two on the ground. his eyes read, "we'll talk later. this isn't over." mkaing the two boys shiver a bit. "i'm so sorry y/n. please ignore these idiots and come inside!" and just like that, heeseung's whole demeanor changed when he was talking to y/n. she slowly stepped over the pocketz, who were still lying on the ground, and followed heeseung to his room. looking around, she could see framed pictures of all seven of them at award shows, music bank, and mv shooting places. there were also a couple trophies, and some random decor that made the place very homey. following heeseung into his room, she looked around and saw his room exactly like how she saw in the video where they showed off their new dorms. (ik they live on two different floors, so just pretend that all of enha was on the same floor hanging out together) the only difference was that it had a bit more stuff lying around and it was a lot brighter due to heeseung opening the curtains a bit. "woah, this is just like i saw in the video," y/n mumbled, mainly just talking to herself. she heard heeseung chuckle a bit and reply. "yeah..well, it's a bit messy..sorry 'bout that," he said while rubbing his neck sheepishly. "no no it's fine! it's actually very cozy," y/n smiles, and heeseung finds himself falling for her a little more.

the two ended up watching a movie together and y/n slowly found herself drifting off, surrounded by the comfort of heeseung's warmth and smell. heeseung felt a weight leaning on his shoulder and when he looked over, he saw y/n, peacefully sleeping and looking so adorable. he quickly positioned her into a more comfortable position and snuggled into her. i really shouldn't be feeling this way about a fan...but y/n's more than just a fan... he thought to himself.

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y/n woke up to someone's arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to the mysterious person's chest. carefully, she looked over her shoulder to be greeted with heeseung's beautiful face, buried into her back. now this is most definitely something out of crazy dream because one moment, y/n is heeseung's biggest fan and would probably never meet him, and the next, she's cuddled up with him and taking a nap together. reading the time, 1:09 pm, y/n decided that maybe she could plan something for her and heeseung to do here in the dorm so no one would spot them. so, carefully slipping out of heeseung's hold, y/n makes her way into the living room/kitchen and spots jake, sunghoon, and riki playing games on the sofa. "oh- hello," she bows, remembering that these are her favorite idols and still wanting to make a good impression. "oh my goodness! are you y/n?? we've heard so much about you!! we only had a short period of time to talk last time so this is really nice!" jake exclaimed, making his way over to y/n. he really was just like a cute little puppy. "yes hi! i can't believe this is actually real. thank you for having me over," y/n smiles brightly. "of course! actually, we've noticed a change in heeseung hyung's attitude and we think it's because of you! he's always so smiley now and always updates us about you," sunghoon adds, with riki trailing in behind him, nodding his head in agreement. after talking a bit more with them, y/n notices out of the corner of her eye, a figure slumped against the door frame. jake, sunghoon, and riki take this time as a time to escape their lovey dovey-ness and head back to their rooms. turning and seeing a freshly-woken-up heeseung wearing the cutest pout ever, she walks over and simply adores his little pout. "woke up and you were gone," he mumbled, sleep evident in his voice still. "thought you left but turns out you were too busy with them." he adds, his lower lip jutting out more. truth be told, y/n wasn't really listening as she was too busy adoring his features. then, all of the sudden, heeseung wrapped his body around y/n's and carried her over to the couch.

after a comfortable silence filled with cuddles and affectionate gestures, heeseung takes a deep breath and turns to face y/n. "y/n, can i be real with you?" he asks, breaking the silence. y/n can only nod as she for some reason, can't form any words at the moment. maybe it's his doe eyes staring right at her, filled with nothing but softness, care, and maybe something else? "i'm just gonna say it. i think i'm in love with you. no, actually, i know i'm in love with you. i know we've only really known each other for a month now and this is our second time meeting, but i truly believe that you are the one for me. you help me get through tough days of training, and root for me like no one else has. you make me feel enough for myself and i truly thank you for that. i totally understand if you don't feel the same way, but i just wanted to let you know." heeseung confessed. it took y/n a second to process the fact that her bias just confessed feelings to her but then she was able to form some words and reply. "i'm so glad that i can be that person for you seungie," she starts, taking his hands into hers. "i actually feel the same way. whenever i was feeling down or discouraged, i would just listen to your words or lyrics and they just made me feel so loved. i should be the one thanking you! you have helped me for almost 4 years now, and i'd be so stupid to say i didn't like you back. lee heeseung, i like you so much and i have since the minute i saw you on i-land. thank you for being the reason i smile and laugh nowadays." y/n and heeseung meant every single word they said to each other. they had both been each other's person for the past month past 4 years for y/n and they truly felt something special for each other. "can i kiss you?" heeseung whispers, leaning so close to y/n, their faces mere centimeters apart. "yes," and with that singular word, heeseung closed the gap between them. their lips were like puzzle pieces, they fit perfectly together and everything just felt so complete now that they were together. the kiss was passionate, yet soft, and was sweeter than anything y/n or heeseung had ever tasted. when they finally pulled apart, heeseung rested his forehead against y/n's. whispering "i'm so stupid in love with you" against her lips, he pecks her again, short and sweet, yet filled with love. "soo...one last question. will you be my girlfriend?" "is that even a question? yes!!" and the two stuck together for the rest of the day, treasuring their moments together. heeseung figured that telling management was for another day. today was filled with their crazy, stupid love.

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first heeseung fic!!! i honestly couldn't help but feel real delulu while writing this but it's okayyyy....delulu is the solulu after all. hope you guys enjoy this!! reblogs, likes, and feedback are very much appreciated! <33

i love you for this

𝓂𝔂 𝖻𝘰ᴏ ꒰ ᵎᵎ 🪜𖧧ヾ (en- archive)

( ot7 ) ᵎᵎ 𝓫𝖺𝖻𝗒 𝘂 𝘴𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗅𝘥 𝗅𝖾𝘁 𝓶𝖾 𝓁𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝘺𝑜𝒖

synopsis ! enha's luv language

content ! bf!enha x gf!reader ⸝⸝ fluff ⸝⸝ warnings : none ⸝⸝ WC.15O-18O per member

heeseung

⸝⸝⸝ physical touch

whenever you are around him, expect him to be all over you. weather it's having his hands in your back pocket, or his arms around your waist. 

it was sunghoon's birthday party. you were sitting on heeseung's lap on the couch while singing happy birthday to sunghoon. once they had cut the cake, they told everyone to come and get a slice if they wanted one.

 "heeseung, you want some cake?" you asked him. he nodded in response while he was drinking some fruit punch. you tried to get up when heeseung suddenly held onto your waist tighter. "where are you going?" you looked at him with a confused expression. "you said you wanted cake right? i was going to go get us some." 

"i'll come with you" he said as he placed you on your feet, standing up from the couch. he grabbed you by the waist (again) slipping his hand in your back pocket and he walked you over to the table.

jay

⸝⸝⸝ quality time

you and jay never really had time to be together. you were both adults with jobs and responsibilities. every single second jay had time off, he was always with you.

you and jay were watching a movie at his place. the blue light shining on both of you, creating a comfortable atmosphere. while you were watching the tv—captivated by the scene playing-–jay was looking at you.

the way your eyes were lit up by the light. the way you cuddled into your blanket. everything about you was so cute to him.

he scooted closer to you, pulling your body to his. you looked up at him, softly giggling and smiling up at him. "watch'a up to lil bro?" you said with a goofy smile.

he let out a small chuckle. "you looked cold, gotta warm you up." he pecked your temple, placing his hand on your thigh while his other arm wrapped around your waist.

jaeyun

⸝⸝⸝ sharing his hobbies

jake loves hanging out with you, its something he looks forward to every.single.day, so why not share his favorite thing to do play? soccer

jake took you to the park, it was a rainy day—he said it was more fun playing in the rain. he had your hand in one hand and the bag with all the soccer equipment in the other. when you made it over to the soccer field, he set the bag on a nearby bench, sitting down on it and putting on his cleats—he let you borrow some old ones he had since he was 8.

"ughhh jake! my hairs wet" he looked up at you with an evil smile, "you'll live"

jake took you over to the grass, teaching how to play soccer. you were trying to kick the ball when you slipped. jake rushed over to you, trying to hold in his laugh as you glared at him. he grabbed your hand, lifting you back up. he softly pecks your lips and wraps his arm around your shivering body. 

"you okay mamas?" he mimicked a concerned voice, looking at you with a pout. you gently slap his arm, "quit it sim!"

sunghoon

⸝⸝⸝ spoiling you

If there was something you wanted while you both were out, best believe sunghoon would buy it for you.

you and sunghoon were on a date at the mall, eating at the food courts. he noticed that you had been looking at something behind him. he turned to look at what you were looking at and saw a cute little clothing store. behind the window was a mannequin wearing a gorgeous dress. he he looked back at you, he knew he had to buy the dress for you.

"you really like that dress huh?" you eyes shifted back to him. you didn't even noticed he looked behind him and saw the dress you've been staring at for the past couple of minutes.

you hummed, not even paying attention to what he said. he chuckled and repeated it again, "you like that dress?" you shyly smiled while nodding. "its pretty huh?" he said with a small smile. "i.ll buy it for you" you tilted your head to the side, giggling. "as if you got enough money for that" you teased.

sunghoon scoffed, standing up and walking backwards towards the store. "watch, my card wont decline." your eyes widen, you didn't think he would actually want to buy the dress for you. you stood up. speed walking over to him. "sunghoon, you really dont have to buy it for me." he looked down at you, the corner of his lips lifting. "i want to" 

sunoo

⸝⸝⸝ writing love notes to you

ever since sunoo had a crush on you, he always wrote notes to you. he noticed how your eyes always lit up and you read notes from your "secret admirer" and continued to write them for you even after he confessed to you.

you and sunoo lived together so every morning, after waking up, you always saw either a sticky note or a piece of paper sitting on your night stand. they were filled with words of love, showing how much he enjoys waking up to the sight of you everyday and how sad he was to leave you every single morning to go to work.

the note would usually go something like : "good morning my love, you look so peaceful sleeping. my pretty baby, i love you so much. have a good day today, i love you." with hearts all over the paper.

jungwon

⸝⸝⸝ taking care of you

when you're sick, expect jungwon to be there. he cared about you so much that he wanted to always to take care of you and be right next to you.

you were laying there, your bed filled with used tissues. your forehead warn and your nose continuously running.

you had texted jungwon, telling him you wouldn't be able to go to school today and to not wait for you at the bus stop. he knew that your parents wouldn't be home to take care of you, as they have jobs to attend to, so as soon as he got the text, he came running to your house. 

he knocked on the door, waiting for you to open it and let him in. when you finally do, he takes in your appearance. 

you had a blanket wrapped around you, your nose was red and your hair was a mess. "jungwon? what are you doing here? why aren't you on the bus already?" you continue to ask questions till jungwon cut you off. "you said you were sick so i came over to take care of you"

riki

⸝⸝⸝ teasing

whenever riki had the opportunity to tease you, best believe he's going to take it. he's not really good with showing affection, so he shows it through making fun of you.

you were doing your work in class, minding your own business. riki was sitting next to you, bored out his mind. you weren't paying attention to him so he decided to make you pay attention to him.

"yn, help me pwease?" he said in a whiny baby voice. you gave him the biggest side eye. "do it yourself" he pouted—exaggeratedly—and crossed his arms. "some of us aren't as studious as you… nerd" he said with a mischievous smirk.

you knew he was joking so you played along with him. you turned your head at a speed you didn't even know was possible. "shut up loser, at least im gonna be young and rich, unlike you." you hit back with a sassy tone. "no no baby, i'll be the money maker, you won't even have to move an inch." he said as he winked at you.

perm tl - @orimuraa @seozii @silquids @saeivra @woniesprincess @jiiyen @wonwonpuffs (send an ask to be added !)

networks - @k-films @en-diaries

no bc jake’s little “this wolf bites back” moment made me cackle so hard

𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐃𝐔𝐎 ; you are NOT spiderman lil bro

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. nishimura riki x fem!reader

any likes or reblogs is highly appreciated!

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I SAW THIS THIS MORNING IM SCARED

i cannot emphasize how necessary it is to have a buddy to participate in fandom with. completely elevated experience. don't have a buddy? find someone you like and message them and be their friend. gush over every sketch and drabble and insane headcanon they have. live life to the fullest.