Pietro: I Hate You

Pietro: I hate you

Scott: *in his head* Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words.

Peter: Scott freaked out because I told him I never drink water, so now he’s making me drink 8 glasses a day.

Peter: I mean, there’s water in soda, there’s water in coffee, there’s little pools of water on pizza…

Jean: …That’s grease, Peter.

Peter: Well, it’s wet, isn’t it?

Cyclops: I’m gonna take you out.

Quicksilver: Great, it’s a date.

Cyclops: I meant that as a threat.

Quicksilver: I know, I’ll pick you up at eight.

Scott: We prevented a murder today.

Charles: Wow really? I’m so proud of you two! How?

Pietro: Self-control.

Scott: You’re too fast for me Crowley.

Peter: I will break up with you if you quote Good Omens one more fucking time.

Scott: …

Peter: Don’t you dare.

Scott: Don’t let me tempt you.

Peter: THAT’S IT-

Peter: *sleep deprived* SKELETONS AREN’T SCARY.

Peter: WE’RE FILLED WITH PULSING, OOZING MEAT.

X-Men: *horrified silence*

Peter: IT’S THE MEAT THAT’S SCARY.

Peter: THE MEAT.

Erik: *sobbing* Peter, wha-

Scott: Honestly, nothing he says surprises me anymore.