H3lvegengar - A. - Tumblr Blog

that astro shines for everyone but me

if he looks at me, it's just to kill me, burn me, and throw me away

I dont feel real anymore

finally, the night has come

looking to a sky and there is no star in sight

there is no sign to be found, and now that my time has come, I pray to you, father, that at least you explain to me why, if I am worthy of knowing the answer.

For i've had always loved you and preached your word, now that my time has come, I'm afraid

Of everything

of leaving this earth, in which I learnt how to talk, to breathe, to feel, to cry, to love, to laugh, to cure, to help...

making good friends, showing your ways

the way you art and the words you said.

making my body a vessel for all the world can see your divine and holy nature

my hands are starting to shake, the tears fall down my cheeks and knees are getting weaker, leading to falling hardly on the ground while seeing through my hardly squinted eyes the face of my mother,and I want her here with me

but the only breef touch that I receive is the wind softly blowing benith my feet.

and now a leaf is falling, and while looking at it, I seize briefly at the tree whose leaf feel beautifully on the hard ground, and now I remember my father on earth

thinking about how we made tables and chairs together while saying hi to the neighbours passing by as they were doing an interrogatory at me about school

Guess I'm more human than I ever knew

Maybe I don't have enough strength to finish my task.

And it would be selfish to ask If you could take it back

But, If you could take it back? Would you?

In a body full of ambitions and opportunities

but trapped in a mind full of fears and resentment

i do things in the meantime of waiting for your response

I just wanna dress pretty and have dates with him

I'm outside my body

and out of my mind

I'm being punish for leaving the 'oh how sweet these pills are'

my stomach is still cold like the water I drank

and I don't recognise my surroundings anymore

like I know

but at the same time I don't

nobody told me that trying to get better can be worse than not

why you never call me?

why I feel nothing and everything at the same time?

I dont wanna do anything with my life

I'm unmotivated and uninterested in everything I once loved, but at the same time, I want everything

being good at everything, I want to feel everything and I want to be perfect at everything

I want to feel triumph and the desolation all at once

And not only wanting

But I can't escape from feeling this way

I'm scared of myself

this is me 100%

if I get high, could I see the starts that once I dreamt off?

emotion that I will never get to experiencie

not because I'm not willing to

but because although I tried

all I see is an empty skyline

reminder of my solitude

I'm so fucking sad and lonely

if I tell you that I love you

will you hide from me ?

as you set me free from the uncertainty of my being

ripping my soul apart

seeing that don't have any heart

and as you look inside

you'll start to feel heavy

on that side of your chest where your heart rests

seeing two organs living, dancing together

in what seems to be the rhythm of and old love song

that I created for you a long time ago

that I used to sing myself when I tried to sleep.

I lost the last chance to make you love me

am I doomed to live an ordinary life?

where all I can do is rest in bed

in a bed that once was comfortable

now feels like fire burning my skin

but still, I'm attached to it

like a kid with their favourite toy

like the past love that once I felt.

there's blood flowing in my legs

and I cannot feel my limbs

a river colored red that rushes with a pain

with a pain when I extend my ribs.

breathing hurts, and the mere thought of walking is unbearable

a pain like needles on skin

like the day you left me

was worth leaving the Paradise

for some freedom that wasn't even mine?

2000 years ago

fated Ymir, the God

and while I walk, I remember the sea

the one that you told me about

Blue, wild, salty... but you see?

your eyes contain more beauty, nevertheless

and your blond hair is like the sands of the desert

your smile as pure as the moon

and your strength as strong as the storm

if only I could choose

I would choose you.

cause you contain everything beautiful

all enough for myself to see.

apocalyptic nightmare

you were standing still

your eyes barely looking at me

and my heart burning like a candle

and while you were waiting for her

preparing a long term poem that she'd never heard

ignored the words

of a soul who only belonged to yours.

I'm so lonely

sitting on the couch watching tv

thinking about what I used to be

a concerning black shadow

it's hanging upon me

again, I'm so lonely

haven't seen my friends for a while

if I still have one

still, very lonely

consumes every inch of my being

rips my soul

making a hole

for my fears to come in.

"I'm sorry"

her last words sounded quietly as she kneeled

the next thing she heard

was the axe slicing her neck

seeing the fields through the hole of the wall

watching the birds singing their songs

exhaling the words that I could never spoke

the size of a kingdom that I call of my own

imprisonment never suited me well

only all those men

they grieve power and the glory of God

disguised in silver and gold

been here for too long

my eyes have been crying enough

that could fill the rivers of my home

my skin is detached from my soul

the testimony of a queen

that could have had everything beneath her feet

and now vanishes with the wind

with a legacy of ill-conceived

my biggest desire?

to be surrounded by flowers, bees and trees

having my little white dress on

and running in the fields

feeling wild, alive and young

having a passion to win

not unwilling to live

writing poetry

in silence,please

perfectly sounding

the river beneath my feet

and when it's time to go home

I fear to go alone

leave all my talents there

and forget about what you've said