
welcome to the madness of my mind
62 posts
H3lvegengar - A. - Tumblr Blog
that astro shines for everyone but me
if he looks at me, it's just to kill me, burn me, and throw me away
I dont feel real anymore
finally, the night has come
looking to a sky and there is no star in sight
there is no sign to be found, and now that my time has come, I pray to you, father, that at least you explain to me why, if I am worthy of knowing the answer.
For i've had always loved you and preached your word, now that my time has come, I'm afraid
Of everything
of leaving this earth, in which I learnt how to talk, to breathe, to feel, to cry, to love, to laugh, to cure, to help...
making good friends, showing your ways
the way you art and the words you said.
making my body a vessel for all the world can see your divine and holy nature
my hands are starting to shake, the tears fall down my cheeks and knees are getting weaker, leading to falling hardly on the ground while seeing through my hardly squinted eyes the face of my mother,and I want her here with me
but the only breef touch that I receive is the wind softly blowing benith my feet.
and now a leaf is falling, and while looking at it, I seize briefly at the tree whose leaf feel beautifully on the hard ground, and now I remember my father on earth
thinking about how we made tables and chairs together while saying hi to the neighbours passing by as they were doing an interrogatory at me about school
Guess I'm more human than I ever knew
Maybe I don't have enough strength to finish my task.
And it would be selfish to ask If you could take it back
But, If you could take it back? Would you?
In a body full of ambitions and opportunities
but trapped in a mind full of fears and resentment
i do things in the meantime of waiting for your response
I just wanna dress pretty and have dates with him
I'm outside my body
and out of my mind
I'm being punish for leaving the 'oh how sweet these pills are'
my stomach is still cold like the water I drank
and I don't recognise my surroundings anymore
like I know
but at the same time I don't
nobody told me that trying to get better can be worse than not
why you never call me?
why I feel nothing and everything at the same time?
I dont wanna do anything with my life
I'm unmotivated and uninterested in everything I once loved, but at the same time, I want everything
being good at everything, I want to feel everything and I want to be perfect at everything
I want to feel triumph and the desolation all at once
And not only wanting
But I can't escape from feeling this way
I'm scared of myself
if I get high, could I see the starts that once I dreamt off?
emotion that I will never get to experiencie
not because I'm not willing to
but because although I tried
all I see is an empty skyline
reminder of my solitude
I'm so fucking sad and lonely
if I tell you that I love you
will you hide from me ?
as you set me free from the uncertainty of my being
ripping my soul apart
seeing that don't have any heart
and as you look inside
you'll start to feel heavy
on that side of your chest where your heart rests
seeing two organs living, dancing together
in what seems to be the rhythm of and old love song
that I created for you a long time ago
that I used to sing myself when I tried to sleep.
I lost the last chance to make you love me
there's blood flowing in my legs
and I cannot feel my limbs
a river colored red that rushes with a pain
with a pain when I extend my ribs.
breathing hurts, and the mere thought of walking is unbearable
a pain like needles on skin
like the day you left me
was worth leaving the Paradise
for some freedom that wasn't even mine?
2000 years ago
fated Ymir, the God
and while I walk, I remember the sea
the one that you told me about
Blue, wild, salty... but you see?
your eyes contain more beauty, nevertheless
and your blond hair is like the sands of the desert
your smile as pure as the moon
and your strength as strong as the storm
if only I could choose
I would choose you.
cause you contain everything beautiful
all enough for myself to see.
apocalyptic nightmare
you were standing still
your eyes barely looking at me
and my heart burning like a candle
and while you were waiting for her
preparing a long term poem that she'd never heard
ignored the words
of a soul who only belonged to yours.
I'm so lonely
sitting on the couch watching tv
thinking about what I used to be
a concerning black shadow
it's hanging upon me
again, I'm so lonely
haven't seen my friends for a while
if I still have one
still, very lonely
consumes every inch of my being
rips my soul
making a hole
for my fears to come in.
"I'm sorry"
her last words sounded quietly as she kneeled
the next thing she heard
was the axe slicing her neck
seeing the fields through the hole of the wall
watching the birds singing their songs
exhaling the words that I could never spoke
the size of a kingdom that I call of my own
imprisonment never suited me well
only all those men
they grieve power and the glory of God
disguised in silver and gold
been here for too long
my eyes have been crying enough
that could fill the rivers of my home
my skin is detached from my soul
the testimony of a queen
that could have had everything beneath her feet
and now vanishes with the wind
with a legacy of ill-conceived
my biggest desire?
to be surrounded by flowers, bees and trees
having my little white dress on
and running in the fields
feeling wild, alive and young
having a passion to win
not unwilling to live
writing poetry
in silence,please
perfectly sounding
the river beneath my feet
and when it's time to go home
I fear to go alone
leave all my talents there
and forget about what you've said