H3lvegengar - A.

why I feel nothing and everything at the same time?

I dont wanna do anything with my life

I'm unmotivated and uninterested in everything I once loved, but at the same time, I want everything

being good at everything, I want to feel everything and I want to be perfect at everything

I want to feel triumph and the desolation all at once

And not only wanting

But I can't escape from feeling this way

why you never call me?

I'm so lonely

sitting on the couch watching tv

thinking about what I used to be

a concerning black shadow

it's hanging upon me

again, I'm so lonely

haven't seen my friends for a while

if I still have one

still, very lonely

consumes every inch of my being

rips my soul

making a hole

for my fears to come in.

am I doomed to live an ordinary life?

where all I can do is rest in bed

in a bed that once was comfortable

now feels like fire burning my skin

but still, I'm attached to it

like a kid with their favourite toy

like the past love that once I felt.

this is me 100%