If I Get High, Could I See The Starts That Once I Dreamt Off?

if I get high, could I see the starts that once I dreamt off?

emotion that I will never get to experiencie

not because I'm not willing to

but because although I tried

all I see is an empty skyline

reminder of my solitude

I dont feel real anymore

why I feel nothing and everything at the same time?

I dont wanna do anything with my life

I'm unmotivated and uninterested in everything I once loved, but at the same time, I want everything

being good at everything, I want to feel everything and I want to be perfect at everything

I want to feel triumph and the desolation all at once

And not only wanting

But I can't escape from feeling this way

I just wanna dress pretty and have dates with him

why you never call me?

if I tell you that I love you

will you hide from me ?

as you set me free from the uncertainty of my being

ripping my soul apart

seeing that don't have any heart

and as you look inside

you'll start to feel heavy

on that side of your chest where your heart rests

seeing two organs living, dancing together

in what seems to be the rhythm of and old love song

that I created for you a long time ago

that I used to sing myself when I tried to sleep.