Nora: Want One?

Nora: Want one?

Emerald: Hard pass.

Nora: More for me.

Oscar: Maybe you should cut back on those.

Nora: My body, my choice.

Oscar: Are you serious?

Nora: I'm very serious about you minding your own business.

Emerald: What crawled up your ass and died?

Nora: Oh, just five of my closest friends. Hey, weren't YOUR friends involved with that?

Emerald: You wanna go, halfpint?

Nora: You don't want this smoke, puke-for-hair. (that's for you, Yang)

Emerald: That's it!

Oscar steps between them.

Oscar: We don't know if they're actually-

Nora: Don't you start, Oscar. I hear enough of that false hope nonsense from Ren.

Oscar: Nora, I miss them too. Why don't we process this together?

Nora: Let's not and say we did.

Oscar: I'm not gonna just leave you here to wallow.

Nora: Then you'll have to see me do stuff like this.

Oscar: Do stuff like wha-oh sweet Lord!

Nora:

Emerald: Ugh...

Oscar: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Nora: Like that trick? I've got a million of 'em.

Emerald: I'm out. Enjoy your wallowing.

Nora: I certainly will. Bye, Oscar.

Oscar: You know where to find me-

Nora: Bye, Oscar.

Oscar: ...bye, Nora....

Emerald: Whatcha got there?

Oscar: Oh, uh, candy cigarettes. Apparently, Vacuo has kinda cornered the market on them since they can't be sold anywhere else.

Emerald: Can I have one?

Oscar: Sure! (Hands one) Uh, need a light?

Emerald: (Giggles) Thanks, but I've got my own.

Oscar: (Nervously chuckles) Y'know, even with these looking like cigarettes, I don't feel like smoking the real things.

Emerald: Good. Means you're a lot smarter than some people. (Points)

Oscar: Like who- (Looks where she points)

Nora: (Scooping cigarette butts into bowl)

Weiss: Ignore her, Jaune. She's trying to cope and seethe, as Yang would say.

Ilia: You don't know what you're talking about.

Weiss: Our feline friend rejected 3 faunus for a blonde, pale-skinned human girl, and you're picking on the only other blonde, pale-skinned member of our group. Subtle.

Ilia: Seeing things that aren't there.

Weiss: I imagine it was quite a shock, that the one person you ever pined after didn't reject you for your sex but for your race.

Ilia: Watch your mouth, filthy Schnee. Or I'll-

Weiss: You watch your mouth, you spiteful peasant. Jaune might let it slide, but I won't. Apologize to him, or this gets back to Blake.

Ilia: Is that supposed to scare me?

Weiss: Who do you think she'll side with? Sweet, loveable Jaune Arc who she's looked up to since childhood?

Ilia: Now you're definitely making shit up.

Weiss: Or the psycho who almost got her parents murdered?

Ilia: She forgave me!

Weiss: Forgiveness does not beget friendship.

Ilia: I thought you were one of the good ones!

Weiss: And I always knew you were one of the bad.

Just ignore this one. I needed to vent and this was pretty much the only constructive way I can do this. Just move along.

Ilia: Racist.

Jaune: Huh?

Ilia: Yeah. You. Fucking bigot.

Jaune: What- What did I do?

Ilia: You're alive. That's enough.

Jaune: I- What are you talking about? What is going on?

Ilia: First, you're pale-skinned with blond hair and blue eyes. Failure at birth.

Jaune: Wh-

Ilia: Second, you're a human male. No diversity at all, and just garbage as a concept.

Jaune: I-

Ilia: And last, the only thing you've ever accomplished was done because of others. You never had to struggle or work hard to get where you are, because you are a walking waste of air long overdue for retirement AND extinction.

Jaune: ...You do realize how terrible you look, right? Like, you're racially profiling and acting awfully bigoted.

Ilia: I have no idea what you're talking about. You're human. You can't be racist to humans.

Was Jaune ever real? Was Ilia really herself? Who knows? Who cares? Like I said, just ignore this one.

Jaune: You're right. The nerdy, pretty girl from Scooby-Doo would totally have higher standards than you.

Weiss: What's that supposed to mean?

Jaune: It means you were falling over yourself in the Ever After to get my attention.

Weiss: T-those were special circumstances.

Jaune: Oh yeah, I was more "mature" back then.

Weiss: Ahp-...gah-...you!

Jaune: At least it's something to look forward to in a few years.

Weiss: Not if I KILL you before then!

Jaune: ...Y'know what? I'd fuck Velma Dinkley.

Weiss: But would she fuck you? Come now, Arc. Humble yourself.

Yang: Shadow the Hedgehog was a garbage game, and you only like him because your colors match.

Ruby: You watch your mouth! Shadow is a deeply flawed and misunderstood character.

Yang: I bet you styled your hair after him.

Ruby: And what if I did!

Ruby: The way I see it, some people just don't like playing as the bad guy in video games, and I get that.

Ruby: Some of us also don't like spicy food, and are condemned to a life of bland tastes.

Jaune: What's your problem? I've never once ragged on you.

Yang: Hah! What would you even rag on?

Jaune: You have the fashion sense of a middle-aged father.

Yang: (pulls him down by the collar) Take that back, you bastard!

Jaune: (Holding back tears) I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm okay!

Yang: It's okay, Jaune. I've felt this sadness before, when I lost my arm.

Yang: Except way fucking worse, you baby.

Jaune: Maybe...but what if there's two of them?

Yang: Oh babe, worry about this one before thinking about another.

Jaune: No, I mean if we have twins.

Yang: ...what?

Jaune: You know: 2 boys or 2 girls, birthed at the same time.

Yang: ...

Jaune: Although I guess they can be a boy and girl, too. Aren't Qrow and your mom-

Yang: (yanks him by the neck of his onesie so that they're face-to-face) Don't.

Jaune: (red eyes, bad sign) Sweetie?

Jaune: ...

Yang: What's wrong, Jaune?

Jaune: When I was a kid, I had Dad. And when I got to Beacon, I had Pyrrha. And now, I dunno if I can-

Yang: (Flicks his nose) Ya wanna know what I remember most about Pyrrha? It was how much trust she put in you. (Holds cheeks) And it wasn't just her. Ren, Nora... Hell, even RWBY believed in you before all of Remnant did. (Stares into his aqua eyes)

Jaune: (Stares into her lavender eyes)

Yang: (Lays down) Let's just go to bed already.

Jaune: (Cuddles her) Y'know, I'm really scared to do this, but I'm also really excited. It'll be a whole new experience for us. (Rubs her belly) All three of us.

Yang: (Smiling)

Jaune: (Smiling)

Yang: ...I've been thinking of some names. Like, if they're a boy.

Jaune: What if they're a girl?

Yang: Well... I have a feeling you already have something in mind.