Deja-vu

Deja-vu

Yesterday I got reamed out by my boss for doing what he asked me to do. It's very familiar.

I gave them until October 25. I was too generous.

Actually, I do know. He has probably spent his life bullying and manipulating people into doing what, when, and how he wants while devaluing themselves and their contributions.

He must have worked with people that didn't call him on mistakes, oversights or inappropriate behaviour that he tried to heave on someone else.

He told me once that he takes credit for everything that happened at his workplace because that's how you get ahead. I told him it was more in my nature to praise my team, since they do the heavy lifting. He said that humility doesn't exemplify confidence and I am not promotable.

I called him on being contradictory. I called him on it when he was being abusive. I called him on it when he tried to manipulate me. And I called him on it when he tried to run my department. It wasn't always graceful, and at times I was consumed with self doubt. But i held my ground, and I can't tell you how proud of myself I am.

I also had a good relationship with my staff and he envied that. I believe you earn the respect of your team by valuing what they do and treating them like people. He believes you demand respect from the title you hold and being at the top should make you invincible.

Well. I found out he resigned from his position. Funny how that all worked out.

Not that it particularly matters, but that interaction with my boss was the last one I had with him. No good luck wish, no hand shake, nothing.

He hated me to my very core and I have no idea why.

I never thought I'd have to write a post like this, but here we are.

If your "feminism" excludes anyone or your definition of woman is reduced to a series of dna check marks, we're not like-minded.

I'm not interested in discourse and I will shut that down if it begins. So y'all can keep it to yourself.

But if you're using any of my posts to make a point even in that ball park, you're barking up the wrong tree. And i will tell you so - the politeness of which will vary depending on the kind of day I'm having and the severity of your infraction.

Just something to think about before you hit reblog.

I auditioned for a show I REALLY wanted and was not cast. I feel this is the end of my youth.

[while choking back a sob, tears visible] i’m good dude i’m so good. i’m way fucking. good. man. i’m GOOD

I made these and I'm quite pleased with how they turned out. I'm always a little surprised when I can do things, since he said I can't do anything right.

Turns out, he's wrong.

Here is to another year of pumpkin carving and another year of healing. Happy Halloween friends.

Depression is hitting pretty hard. The last few job prospects were not what i thought they were.

My last paycheck will be November 15 and i have nothing to replace it.

My woman has already insisted she buy me snow tires, because I advised that I won't have the money to buy them at this time. This makes me ashamed. Especially since she has been stretched thin lately herself.

And a quick flashback to a conversation with my Father yesterday who helpfully reminded me that i "shouldn't be depending on anybody." Thanks, Pops, for the pep talk.

And i still have to go to this place for another 8 shifts. Once again, I'd like to ask why I have to be in this discouraging position while my shithead, incompetent, mysogenist boss suffers with none of it.