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You: fuck, it’s so hotttt…

*nudges choso gently*

Choso: *snores softly*

You: why does he have to sleep so close to me? uugghhhh…

You: *looks at him and smiles as choso snores softly* ughhh he’s too damn cute

Choso: *moves slightly closer and grabs your waist* don’t push me away, darling *says in a sleepy voice*

You: It’s just that; your body heat is really hot, choso

Choso: *pulls away from you* okay, just wait.

*sits up and pulls his shirt off and tosses it somewhere in the room*

Choso: there, better? *cuddles close to you*

You: *blushes* uhhh, yeah

Choso: good, now go to sleep *kisses your neck softly*

You: if you want, we can watch the moon

Megumi: *looks at you and smirks* Nah, I prefer seeing you naked on my bed…

You: *shocked* Megumi! Where did all this confidence come from?

Megumi: I don’t know…wanna find out?

You: Satoru! Where’s the formula?

Gojo: Formula? I ain’t no Mr.Krabs. Go look for it somewhere else, Plankton.

You: No, you dumbass! The baby’s powder milk!

Gojo: Ohhhh, I thought you feed the baby boobie milk?

You: …Satoru…please Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

Gojo: Hehehe, boobie milk(*≧∀≦*)

Gojo: What a lucky baby we have

Gojo: nah Megumi, you don’t love her…

Megumi: …that’s none of your business mop headass

Gojo: that’s foul 🥺

Megumi: look…I love her so much that…just looking at other b*tches it makes me vomit

This is the menace of society

Give us Nanami back🥹

You: yeah, I cleanse my house every week or so

Megumi: that’s cool, but why?

You: you never know; there could be dark energies left behind by visitors

*yuji walks into the room*

Yuji: what’s up guys what are you- what’s that smell? I can’t breathe! It burns my skin!

You: hmmm, it’s that demon of yours

Megumi: wow, you weren’t lying

Omg where did you get your pfp 😭 they look so cutee, I love chosoo <33

I was just lurking through Pinterest and voilà; cute little choso came out✿ I love choso too

Almost forgot: Here’s your cookie 🍪 (〃ω〃)

Toji: wanna know something?

You: yeah, I guess so

Toji: every time I jump; my c♡ck hits my face

Toji: you got lucky; you have found yourself a man with a long and thicc c♡c-

You: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, DONT CARE!!!

You: Megumi?

Megumi: hmmm?

You: do you like elephant seals?

Megumi: nah, not really

Megumi: why?

You: so if I was an elephant seal, you wouldn’t love me? You’re such an assh☻le !

Megumi: are you been serious?

You: of course I am! You know what?! Don’t talk to me!

*5 days later*

Yuji: that’s why you guys haven’t talked or seen each other?

Megumi: yeah

*chillin on the couch with Inumaki*

Inumaki: *looks at you and smiles sweetly*

You: *looks at him* What? Do I have something on my face?

Inumaki: *giggles and shakes his head*

You: uhhh, what is it then?

Inumaki: *takes his phone out and proceeds to text you*

You: *bing* huh?

*opens the text message*

Text message: I love you 🫶

You: awww, toge! I love you too!

Inumaki: *blushes*

You: wait, more than Roblox?

Inumaki: *messages you something*

Text message: know your limits hoe

They ran out of condoms

They’re probably size small (can’t tell me otherwise)

You: pick after yourself, Toji. It’s annoying, gosh…

Toji: …whatever…

You: whatever? What do you mean whatever? You’re not a little boy!

Toji: Hey!? Don’t tell me what to do!

You: …fine then, eat me out

Toji: awww, okay you can tell me what to do (^_-) whatever you say, ma’am

*on the phone with choso*

You: HELLO?! CHOSO!?

Choso: don’t yell, I’m right here. What’s wrong?

You: M-my nose just started bleeding out of nowhere and it won’t stop bleeding…

Choso: …

You: hello? Choso? Are you there?

Choso: I know…

You: what?

Choso: I did that. Telepathically.

You: …you b*tch

Gojo: but, I don’t wanna fold the laundry (＞＜)

You: just do it, im busy

Gojo: ughhhhhhhh!! fineeeeee

You: pft, what a lazy ass…

*proceeds to go to the laundry room & fold the laundry*

Gojo: go do this, go do that…geez, she’s like my mom…

Gojo: *grabs one of your shirts* hmmm, I wonder what it smells like? *sniff sniff*

Gojo: mmmmmm, she definitely knows how to do the laundry *holds your shirt close to his nose* ahhhh, it still has her perfume scent

You: what’s taking him forever?

*walks to the laundry room*

You: Gojo!?! What are you doing?!

Gojo: Oh f*ck! I was just sniffing your shirt and gosh, it definitely smells like you. I may or may not have gotten an instant bon☻r

You: h-huh…

Gojo: hahaha jk…but not really jk ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

You:…（；＿；）

Gojo: heyyyyy!!! Nanamin!!! I wanna tell you something!!!

Nanami: Don’t call me like that.

Gojo: but…nanaminnnn it’s important!

Nanami: Leave me alone.

Gojo: come on!! Its important!!

Nanami: Fine! But, once you tell me. You leave me alone.

Gojo: you got it :)

Nanami: …

Gojo: ok! But just imagine going to the dentist and once you open your mouth he spits in it?!? (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

Nanami: ….why are you the why you are?

Gojo: Geto, didn’t you wore that shirt yesterday?

Geto: well, everyone has that one shirt that they like to wear too much…

You: awww yeah, like my boyfriend’s shirt ♥️

Geto: shut the f*uck up, no one asked!

Gojo: Me? Beg for anything? Hahaha! Geez, people get on their knees for me and beg. I’m too powerful and strong to beg.

You: hmmm, too egotistic but okay

*1 week later*

You: eww no!

Gojo: please! I never begged nobody like this!

Gojo: please, please, please!!

Gojo: just let me squeeze your tits for a minute and that’s it!

Gojo: please, I beg on my knees!

You: …never beg, my ass

You: don’t move, you’re just making this harder for us

Choso: what do you mean, don’t move? You’re pulling my hair, dummy

You: your hair has too much knots. What? You want me to kiss the knots away?

Choso: I mean, if you can. Why not?

You: really, dude?

Choso: sorry, continue brushing, I’ll sit still

You: thank you, hot stuff

*5 mins later*

You: so, yeah. That is why I jumped the girl…

Choso:…

You: choso, are you listening?

Choso: huh? uhhh? Of course, baby. You are absolutely right, pineapple totally belongs on pizza.

You: you son of-

Choso: hey! No cussing

You: you weren’t listening to me! You were asleep!

Choso: how would I not? You brushing my hair and your hands on my scalp is very much calming and relaxing

You: remind me not to do this again

Gojo: come on

You: not interested, Gojo

Gojo: why not?

You: you’re immature, annoying, loud, and obnoxious. Want more?

Gojo: b-but dating me you’re not just gonna have that but a comedian, p*rnstar, and a mental patient all in one ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

*yuji on the phone with megumi*

Megumi: so? are you here, or not?

Yuji: I think so?

Megumi: you think so? What does that mean?

Yuji: wait, is it the red house? Yeah?

Yuji: there’s a man with huge pecks outside?

Megumi:…that’s my dad…

Megumi, your daddy high key kinda hot (・ω・)

You: ay babe? wanna try some of my noodles?

Yuji: ooo, heck yeah:)

*proceeds to feed Yuji some noodles*

Yuji: mmmm they’re really good. Especially the broth-

Sukuna’s mouth: hey! I wanna try some!

*you look at Yuji and then at sukuna*

Yuji: *smacks the mouth* hahaha, don’t listen to him, honey

Sukuna’s mouth: stupid brat! Don’t be selfish and let your girlfriend feed me too!

Yuji: shut up, dude

You: hahahaha, it’s fine. I don’t mind…

Yuji: you don’t have-

Sukuna’s mouth: shut it kid, she said, she don’t mind ;)

Yuji: pft, whatever

*brings the bowl near Yuji’s cheek and feeds Sukuna some noodles*

Sukuna: what the fuck?! For once in my life time I actually agree with you, stupid brat! It’s the broth that gives it that special kick!

You: glad you like it, sukuna

Sukuna: anytime sweet stuff

You: hahahaha *blushes*

Yuji: okay, quit flirting with my girl

Sukuna: Hahahaha, once I take full control of this body! I will totally bang the crap out of-

*shoves more noodles into his mouth*

You: okay…

You: but, I love you

Getou: hahaha, oh darling…

You: …please Getou….

Getou: Look at me. I’m utterly insane.

You: so what? That’s not gonna stop the love I have for you

Getou: hmmm fine then

*Getou continues to commit crimes*

You: that’s my baby ♡(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)♡

Do you guys think that gramps was hot when he was younger?