I've Developed Somniphobia Gradually Within The Past Year Or So, But It's Gotten Horribly Bad Recently.

I've developed Somniphobia gradually within the past year or so, but it's gotten horribly bad recently. I get sleep paralysis occasionally and night terrors most nights- I have BPD and dream about my worst triggers and life experiences consistently.

Any other Borderline or Somniphobic people have tips? I'm getting pretty exhausted asking people to stay with me and sobbing uncontrollably when they have to leave.

Isn't it funny how the whole concept of the punk rock movement was to escape stereotypes and labels and to promote the inclusivity of all people and the lovely things that make them different?

Yet, in the process... they labeled themselves, afflicted themselves with one of the most crippling stereotypes and became one of the most non inclusive and gatekeeping groups of all time. Most punk rockers spend more time debating what the definition of "punk" is, and kicking those out of the scene who don't fit their own personal definition, than they do actually chasing their own ideals.

And it's sad. I love the punk rock movement in concept... but the reality is very different.

In my studies and observations, I feel that punk was never about fighting for one specific thing. Punk was about radical individuality and accepting yourself the way you are. It was about fighting the system. It was about bonding together over music and fashion and culture so tightly that they could never break us apart. Yes, punk is a political movement, but it's not just about ONE political belief. It wasn't about what you believed but rather HOW you believed it.

The Ramones and the Sex Pistols were both right wing bands. The Clash was left wing. There's videos of punks from the eighties, the OGs, talking about being conservative and fighting for right wing politics. And in actuality, the whole idea was built on Anarchy anyway, not this dividing, ostracizing, black and white mindset that modern day American politics uses to turn us against each other and make us weak.

Are you fighting for what you believe in? Are you out there being bold and raising hell and never compromising or selling out? Fighting for the greater good of humanity, whatever that is to you? That's punk rock to me. Unfortunately, the new generation of punk rockers doesn't see things that way. Which is alright with me, I suppose. The title isn't worth enough to me to argue with my brothers and sisters over it. I'm just here to rock out and throw up the finger at the Man.

I never wanted the labels anyway.

In summary, punk's not dead. Just confused.

The Front Bottoms lyrics are so great because a song will have a chorus about knowing CPR that doesn’t make much sense (but you still feel it) and then it will also drop the lyric

“I just want this to mean something to anyone/even if they don’t know who I am”

And fuck up your entire day

"He didn't text me back and I'm freaking out, I'm so BPD!"

No you're not. There's far more to borderline personality disorder than being a little text sensitive. Don't pretend to understand even an ounce of what I go through. Can we stop using personality disorders as buzz words?

Crumpled up on the floor of the shower

Hope the neighbors aren't home

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Like the photographs hung up

Of tangled up bodies

On my old kitchen floor

The faces come flooding in

Soak up the reasons why

We're not that close anymore

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

AND I JUST

BLACK OUT

IT'S WHAT I DO

TO SURVIVE

LIFE'S GOT TWO

YELLOW LINES

AND I FELL ASLEEP

DRIVING

Your heart screams the words

Your mouth finds their shape

"I'm not gonna die here"

The glass cuts your feet

As you walk away

The picture gets clearer

It's a house up in flames

And you built your own cage

Just so no one could hurt you

If there's nothing to lose

There's nothing to gain

That's just something you learn through.