Unhinged Tim Drake - Tumblr Posts

tim drake doing the trend of avoiding the pride themed rainbow crosswalks (his boyfriend is filming)

For those Titan's Tower AUs where Tim is all like, "That's Jason, so I'll let him torture/kill me when he pops by," what if Red Hood walks in on Robin being extra prepared. Tim greets him at the door with a smile, beckons him on over, and shows him the table of torture devices he gathered. It's almost like a kid trying to show their parent the amazing job they did in hopes they'll be praised.

"I wasn't sure which ones you preferred to use, so I grabbed a variety just in case."

“Tim Drake is addicted to coffee” “tim Drake is tired” “Tim Drake can’t take care of himself”

Tim Drake has a step-by-step billionaire day routine as well as a custom nutritionist diet.

MY GOD THE TAGS AND EXTRA STUFF WRITTEN IS SO FUNNY 😭😭

My favorite hc for Tim is that his stress relief is fucking over other villains. He makes his bad days their problem.

Are the city officials being needlessly tedious in Neon Knights programs? Luthor suddenly has IRS knocking on his door for improper tax filing.

Did one of his siblings postpone plans? Deathstroke starts to have difficulty finding contracts.

Does he get an injury that prevents him from patrolling for a few weeks? Ra's doesn't need so many Lazarus Pits.

He's petty and takes his anger out on villains without warning. Could he do any of these actions before he gets annoyed with life? Yes. Does he purposefully wait until he wants to snap? Also yes.

Dick: hey Tim! How was patrol?

Tim, sodden, dripping diseased Gotham harbor water, missing a gauntlet, with a crazed look and 3 active warrants out for his arrest: It was lowkey a bit of a vibe check

The two biggest pranksters of the Batfam are Dick and Tim

Dick like to do pranks that are just fun and makes people laugh - His motto is “confuse and amuse, not abuse”

He’s the person who will replace a picture of you with one of a llama

This is the kind of person you want to get into a prank war with (Steph will undoubtedly join and it’s vital she’s on your side)

Tim likes to view pranking as a way to express displeasure towards people he is upset with instead of actually discussing things.

He thinks he’s being a mild inconvenience. He’s actually being psychological terror.

Everything in your room is 2 inches to the left

You keep seeing rubber ducks but they disappear before you can actually get a closer look

You will never feel safe again

Ok, but the Batfam playing 2 truths and a lie... it would be so chaotic, hilarious, and concerning all at once.

I consider myself to only rlly know Tim Drake well enough to give examples so feel free to add on for other characters!!!

For context, order is based on who has to go last: Tim and Cass, because the likelihood is they already know all your secrets, and/or they can tell when your lying. Tim 'I lie to batman' drake may be able to fool Bruce, but nobody can fool Cass. 2 truths and a lie is both a team bonding and team training exercise because of this; learn to lie to adversaries better!

Tim: "Two truths and a lie.... I'm missing an organ, I've shot the joker, and I have a girlfriend."

Dick: "Yeah... its gotta be a little harder Timmy, I'm voting organ, although I don't remember you shooting the joker... vutbjf you lost an organ, You'd have told us."

Jason: "joker obviously."

Damian: "tch. The joker. There is no way you managed to hit such an adversary, Drake." (Or) "Tch. The girlfriend. No self-respecting girl would want to date you."

Following on from the second option:

Steph: "Hey! I dated him!"

Damian: "Well then there you go."

*Steph places Dami into a headlock*

Steph: "I think girlfriend." (She's met Bernard)

Cass: *has also met Bernard* "girlfriend."

*the boys stares at Tim in shock* "YOUT MISSING A WHAT NOW?"

"You shot WHO??"

Tim: "heh. Dick, your turn."

Another round, another example: (for the record, Tim is aiming for how much he can shock ppl, rather than how well he can lie)

Tim: "I hid a batmobile in the batarang budget and hid it in California, I took part in a hostile take over of a country, and I stabbed Ra's in the dick."

Dick: "uhm...... hostile take over?"

Jason: "......either hostile take over or batmobile... I'm gonna go with hostile take over "

Damian: would either assume takeover because "your too weak-willed for that, Drake" or Batmobile because "there is no way you successfully lied to father"

Steph: "Ra's. Although I bet you wish you would."

Cass: *scrutinises Tim carefully, and with a slight hint of surprise,* "Ra's."

Tim grins and nods at the girls. "Yep"

The boy's: "WHAT?"

@emperorsfoot made me come up with a really funny idea. (sorry about the tag i can get rid of it if you want :3 )

AU where Tim sees Bruce not dealing with his grief very well after losing Jason, so he googles ways to calm down, and instead of heading to the manor and telling Bruce he needs a Robin, Tim just hands him a joint.

"You to chill the fuck out, Bruce. Batman is supposed to be Gothams protector, you can't do that if you're beating up criminals to the point of permanent injuries for an offence as little as stealing food. So, take a chill pill. Or, actually. i didn't get you any pills but i can if you want-"

Boom. Instead of gaining another Robin, Batman gains a dealer, who doesn't accept cash, but instead counts 'nights without brutal beatings' as payment.

Within three months time, Tim is fully leaning into the act and uses 90's movies as his point of reference for how drug dealers should look, sound, and act. Goodbye Bristol Boy, meet T-Dawg.

I think it would be very funny if the Batfam and Tim had two drastically different reactions to the Teen Titans Incident.

Like Bruce is super concerned about Tim's safety, and Dick is tearing himself apart because on one hand, the perpetrator is his little brother and Dick remembers him as tiny little Jason who loves classic stories and on the other hand, his new little brother has just been brutalized and possibly traumatized. Jason pretends that he is okay with having beaten up a child, but he is drowning in guilt and can barely look Tim in the eye.

Meanwhile, Tim just... does not care. It was literally another Wednesday for him. He is so delusional, he looks at the Red Hood and thinks "Yeah, I can take him." There is no fear in those eyes, just revenge.

So many posts today basically going “btw everyone in the Batfam is hot EXCEPT TIM WHO IS AN AWFUL LITTLE GREMLIN HAHA LMFAOOO” like he isn’t the one with the most girls (AND GUYS) beating down his door. Sure, he messes up after because he is obsessive, manipulative, depressed and probably insane, but he is absolutely a catch if you don’t know his personality 😂 those eyebags are, indeed, designer.

YES YES YES

Having thoughts about the League of Assassins. It’s pretty common among them to form hierchy/ranking around who’s a better fighter and who beat/killed who. I can’t remember if it’s canon but I like the idea that to prove your teacher has taught you all they have to teach you must kill them (not sure how that applies to history/math/whatever but. Moving on.) Working off of that idea, a lot of assassins in the organisation would already respect Tim for causing the death/defeat of the Council of Spiders; assassins that are so skilled they kill other assassins for fun. Him then TRICKING RA’S AL GHUL AND BLOWING UP (almost??) ALL OF HIS BASES, AND THEN OUTSMARTING HIM AGAIN WHEN HE TRIES TO DESTROY EVERYTHING BATMAN HAS BUILT, I feel like it’s reasonable to assume a lot of them would’ve decided Tim is the bigger threat or at least proved himself very formidable and a large threat. I imagine a lot of them would’ve sought him out in Gotham and pledged loyalty to him (kind of like Minions seeking out the evilest leader thanks for that thought brain), maybe doing full on traditional rituals to prove the transferring of their loyalty, like blood oaths or ritual spars idk, maybe giving him gifts or displaying their skills so he accepts them as allies rather than being disrespected and killing or maiming them since that’s the standard they expect in the League.

And Tim is uh. Very confused. Very surprised. And also trying hard not to show it. He accepts all the gifts and pledges and shit, because he sure as fuck ain’t gonna turn them back to Ra’s, but after that he doesn’t really know what to do with them. He hires a bunch of them at Wayne Enterprise and Drake Industries, tasks a bunch of them with working for Red Hood on the down low, maybe sends a couple on undercover missions to Arkham Asylum so they start treating inmates as actual human beings and stop using shock therapy or something, and makes sure to write them all up fair contracts and great pay with good work bonuses and plenty of leave, and makes sure most or all of them start going to therapy. The assassins love their new leader and would do practically anything for him.

But anyway, all that aside. I’ve had those thoughts in my head for more than a month. Something that just recently occurred to me is Mara al Ghul. Damian’s cousin. Another child raised by the League of Assassins, only this one never left.

Until, that is, she watches this freshly-immunocompromised vigilante arguably outsmart her grandfather twice, and decides he is the bigger threat, actually, I want to be on his good side when he takes over the world.

So now Tim is being forced into basically adopting this feral child, who’s only experience in American society was undercover missions to kill people, who thinks decapitated heads are reasonable gifts, who’s introduction to Tim was something batshit inside like dumping the Joker’s head in his lap because the Joker is Gotham’s most dangerous rogue and of course Tim will appreciate having him gone. But even with a well crafted facade she can tell Tim is unnerved and horrified, so she must be doing something wrong. Maybe it was because the Joker is Batman’s enemy and not Tim’s specifically? But Tim doesn’t have any arch nemesis aside from maybe Ra’s who she obviously can’t kill, so she does more research into Tim’s life and background and finds out Captain Boomerang killed his father so next she brings Tim HIS head and she can already tell he’s much more pleased this time. But there’s still that edge of unsettlement and wariness, and he’s acting so strange around her, so she digs deeper and finds out about the Titans Tower incident but Tim sent all these other assassins to work for red hood so they must be on good terms, and then she finds out about all the bad blood between him and Damian and Dick so she starts trying to kill them next, starting with Damian obviously (a mix of jealousy over him leaving the league and a good amount of cousin rivalry/cain instinct), but Tim stops the fight and tells her to stand down and now she’s scared that he’s going to punish her and Ra’s’ punishments were always so harsh and perhaps this time she can’t quite fight down the urge to hide.

Meanwhile, Tim is being dragged through a parent arc kicking and screaming, the bats are wondering why the hell there are suddenly so many assassins only after they scare off Ra’s, Jason is more or less vibing because he thinks the assassins are from Talia and the Joker’s dead so of course he’s ecstatic (even tho he wishes he knew who did it so he can thank them), Dick and Damian are still reeling from learning Bruce is alive/getting him back from the time stream when all of a sudden this masked child comes out of nowhere mid patrol and attacks Damian, and isn’t backing down even though Dick arrived quickly but when Red Robin arrives and yells stop she’s already three rooftops away by the time he’s done speaking. Everyone is tired and doesn’t know what the hell is going on except mayybe Oracle.

Tim: oh Jason can't kill me anymore Jason: can't???? Tim: if you kill me, it'll be (Red Hood former alias of) the Joker killing (Red) Robin Tim: which means I will have aped every major aspect of your tenure as Robin, and since you'll have killed me, you'll be the one who made me your perfect replacement Jason: ...wh- Dick: okay, wait, getting killed by the Joker is NOT every aspect of Jason's tenure as Robin- Tim: I embezzled a Batmobile from Batman (stealing the Batmobile tires) Tim: I dropped out of high school (never got to finish) Tim: I was hated by the Robin before me (Dick hating Jason) Tim: and my falling out with Batman was based on him thinking I killed someone I didn't when they fell off a building (Bruce thinking Jason pushed Felipe Garzonas off a balcony) Tim: oh! and since Ra's al Ghul wants me alive, I'm reasonably sure he'd use the Lazarus Pit to revive me, so I could take that too! then I can get to work on stealing your identity as Red Hood :) Jason: Dick: Tim: I already took Red Robin :) Dick: ...wh- Jason: Tim, I hate you, I hate you so goddamn much. You are my favorite brother. You are the only Bat I respect and the only one I will ever willingly work with. You are completely insane. You are the best Robin there ever has been or ever will be. What the fuck is wrong with you. I love you. I'm going to shoot you in the leg now. Tim: make sure you miss the femoral artery!

i personally like to think instead of Tim putting on a siren or something when he gave warning for the whole blowing up LOA buildings and stuff he played Blow by Kesha and figured they’d get the hint (it worked surprisingly well). I just think it’s funnier if we let tim be extra cunty even when he’s literally having the worst time in his life :D

i also think it’d be hilarious if like a couple years down the road the batfam still has like no clue what tim did while he was on his bruce hunt. like whenever they ask he just gets a haunted look and says “you don’t wanna know” and calls it a day. but somehow(maybe ra’s sent it to them for some power play type thing???) they get footage of this specific instance. and all of them are looking at tim in varying amounts of horror(except jason, because i also like to think he’s the only one who sees through tim’s normal human mask and sees him as unhinged as he is) and tim has to be like “well shucks guys i needed a little bit of humor in my life at the time idk what to tell you”

Tim: oh Jason can't kill me anymore Jason: can't???? Tim: if you kill me, it'll be (Red Hood former alias of) the Joker killing (Red) Robin Tim: which means I will have aped every major aspect of your tenure as Robin, and since you'll have killed me, you'll be the one who made me your perfect replacement Jason: ...wh- Dick: okay, wait, getting killed by the Joker is NOT every aspect of Jason's tenure as Robin- Tim: I embezzled a Batmobile from Batman (stealing the Batmobile tires) Tim: I dropped out of high school (never got to finish) Tim: I was hated by the Robin before me (Dick hating Jason) Tim: and my falling out with Batman was based on him thinking I killed someone I didn't when they fell off a building (Bruce thinking Jason pushed Felipe Garzonas off a balcony) Tim: oh! and since Ra's al Ghul wants me alive, I'm reasonably sure he'd use the Lazarus Pit to revive me, so I could take that too! then I can get to work on stealing your identity as Red Hood :) Jason: Dick: Tim: I already took Red Robin :) Dick: ...wh- Jason: Tim, I hate you, I hate you so goddamn much. You are my favorite brother. You are the only Bat I respect and the only one I will ever willingly work with. You are completely insane. You are the best Robin there ever has been or ever will be. What the fuck is wrong with you. I love you. I'm going to shoot you in the leg now. Tim: make sure you miss the femoral artery!

Silly goofy head cannon

Where did Tim learn to read people? Gossiping old ladies at galas. He would sit with them as they pointed out different guests, indicated a slight difference, and then accurately depicted what skeletons their closet held.

Lady 1: "Did you see what cufflinks John Wess had on?"

Lady 2: "Oh? They're the ones inherited by his father? It looks like we'll be reading about a divorce by the end of the year."

Tim: *purposefully playing up his naive clueless innocence so he can learn their skills*

Lady 4: "Oh. It seems Rebecca Till has sunset orange lipstick on tonight."

Lady 2: *sighs and starts chugging her champagne*

Lady 3: "Ha! You all owe me a social favor now. I told you she was sleeping with the mayor."

Tim: *startles as he looks at Ms. Till's lipstick and then back at the ladies confused how those add up*