Story Starter - Tumblr Posts
Story Starter #27
Church ladies aren’t necessarily immune to homicidal tendencies.
Story Starter #28
It’s one of those days where I’m blaring big band like it’s metal.
(True story, actually...)
Story Starter #29
“What do you want to be remembered for?”
“Heck, I just want to be remembered.”
Story Starter #30
“Some days, I think my life would be saner if I lived with Cthulhu.”
Story Starter #31
“Cats are such lovable little psychopaths.”
“I’m not sure lovable is the right word.”
Story Starter #33
“That’s two hours of my life I’m never getting back.”
“Oh, come on. You know it wasn’t that bad.”
Story Starter #34
“Do you ever wonder if God’s actually playing a resource management game?”
“Man, just go to sleep already.”
Story Starter #35
“I don’t care what wild leaps of logic you present me this time. You’re not getting a raise.”
Story Starter #36
“Rise and shine!”
"You rise and shine. I’m not a freaking lightbulb.”
Story Starter #37
The things that go bump in the night are way more scared of the things that go bump in the daytime.
Story Starter #38
“This is known to cause cancer in California.”
“Everything does. If you live in California, you’re going to die of cancer. That’s just how it is.”
Story Starter #39
Relationships should come with warning labels; “Caution: High Maintenance,” maybe, or “Handle with care.”
Story Starter #40
“What would Jesus do?”
“He wouldn’t be in this mess, for starters.”
Story Starter #41
“I’m not much of a people person.”
“Do you like kids?”
“Aren’t kids people?”
Story Starter #42
To a cannibal, everyone is a human resource.
Story Starter #46
“Do I look like someone with a conscience?”
Story Starter #47
“So…I accidentally joined a biker gang.”
“How do you accidentally join a gang?”
Story Starter #48
“Oh, come on. It’s not all doom and gloom.”
“No, just 97% of it.”
Story Starter #49
“Tell your mother the wolves sent me.”
Story Stater #50
“I never half-ass anything. I always make a complete ass of myself, or it’s not worth doing.”