Im Fucking Cackling - Tumblr Posts
Homelander is so funny to me, cause I saw so many sigma grindset patrick-bateman style edits of him saying dramatic stuff to phonk music, and I thought, "oh this guy must be a completely fucking terrifying villain, he must have more power than the sun or some shit" And he is and he does,,, but those edits did not at all prepare me for watching the show. He is a fucking loser. he has an oedipus complex, he is obsessed with drinking breast milk, he spent a scene scrolling through a compilation of memes about himself, while clenching his fist and whimpering, he's shorter than the normal guy protagonist, he elects himself head of Vought and then gets scared because he doesn't understand a single thing being said at a board meeting, for the first season his arch-nemesis is a fucking baby. And somehow, this guy has tapped into the manosphere gym-bro community, and become the pretty princess poor little meow meow for the tumblrinas, all while being an absolute fucking loser
In this house we respect the Fullmetal Alchemist and his younger brother, the angry child in the red coat
Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.
I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.
LONG STREAK OF JIZZ HAD ME SCREAMING
Stoic
When Gojo assumes Nanami Kento's lack of PDA for the reader shows a lack of desire for her, a tipsy Kento is quick to correct him.
Warnings: 18+ drabble, Kento goes on a smutty rant
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
'A quick drink' after work had soon turned into two, three, four. Shoko took full advantage of the rooftop bar's balcony, smoking and idly chatting; Higuruma and Atsuya gossipped and quipped, snorting into their drinks; Satoru observed Kento and you keenly behind his dark lens; you stood, excusing yourself to the bathroom as Kento gave you a gentle smile.
"I'm sorry," Satoru interrupted loudly when you were gone, his pot boiling over, "I just-- I just don't get it, Nanami." All eyes were on Satoru and Kento now-- Kento, with one thin eyebrow raised in quiet disdain at Satoru, and Satoru, with his elbows planted forward on his knees in challenge.
A few moments of silence. Kento huffed, "Should I be apologising for someth--"
"--you've been together for years," Satoru interrupted, "and I'm just not convinced. She could be-- she could be a coat rack for all the affection you show her, you're supposed to not be able to keep your hands off her--"
"--you want me to grope my fiancée in public, am I correct--"
"--well maybe, anything to show that you love her--"
Kento laughed out loud, deep and humourless, continuing to chuckle into his glass, scoffing to himself; "Love her," he rumbled, swirling his whiskey, amber eyes flickering and carnal in the firelight.
Shoko had turned, smirking, to watch the scene. Atsuya leaned back, scowling, chewing on a toothpick with crossed arms. Hiromi leaned, glimmer-eyed, into the drama, one hand cupping his jaw and the other clasping his wineglass. He picked up the bottle, slowly beginning to pour another glass.
"I don't love her," Kento spat, downing his glass of whiskey in one smooth swallow, hissing and slamming the glass down on the table, "I worship her. I'm obsessed with her."
Satoru was silent, mulish, as Kento continued.
"I would walk through rains of bullets for her," he mused aloud, "I would cut off fingers with blunt knives--"
"Nanami, alright, I'm sorry--"
"Any second I'm not with her," Kento continued, his voice quieter, darker, the group leaning into him, "is a second wasted. I don't know what point there was in the years I spent without her-- probably just there to build me into even a semblance of the man she deserves--"
"--why are we doing this--"
"-- and when I'm not thinking about talking to her, watching her, being near her, holding her, or-- fuck, just having her look at me goes bone-deep...I spend at least eighty-percent of my time thinking about different ways to make her cum--"
Satoru was blushing now, his face in his hands, while the others leaned into Kento's mild breakdown with awe, "--fucking hell Nanami, I didn't mean--"
"I almost died last week, at work," Kento mused, as a laughing Hiromi slid the glass of wine down the table to Kento, which he caught seamlessly, "because I was too busy thinking about how her mouth had felt around my cock the night before, because I was pondering the many applications for my tie, because I was thinking about how incredible she felt underneath me--"
Atsuya and Shoko whispered together, Hiromi now giggling to himself unashamedly; "Oh he's really going for it--" "I know I know, shhh, let him finish--"
"--and I've been sat here with her all evening, resisting the urge to strip her, tie her wrists together and have her ride me until I go fucking blind, all because of social-fucking-propriety, just for some long streak of jizz like you to say I clearly don't love her--"
Satoru had shrunk in on himself now, his soul quietly leaving his body, mortified and put to rights as Kento tsked, swirling his wine before downing that, too. He accepted the bottle Hiromi slid towards him in approval.
"...it really just is rather rude and presumptuous of you, isn't it, Gojo?"
The group sat in stunned silence as you returned, sitting beside Kento and laying a hand on his crossed knees. You felt the bizarre tension; Hiromi unable to conceal a blush as he looked at you, Shoko giving you a knowing smile around her cigarette, Atsuya unable to make eye contact. You smiled uncertainly.
"...what did I miss?"
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
Still waters run deep 💀💀💀
I once saw rumours floating around that jk was a furry and that hed been photographed at a furry convention, along with other things
the way they spoke about it didnt seem like a joke, i did find 1 really old tweet referencing it but other than that couldnt see anything
I was wondering it there was anything you heard about it
All I know about that bit is that there were 2 to 3 accounts claiming as such on Twitter, while being at the event themselves. Later on they made obvious tweets about them "telling lies on the internet". So idk if that's what you're referring to but that's the only thing I remember in regards to that lol.
Shrek reference in MY character ai?
THIS FUCKING VIDEO MY FRIEND JUST SENT ME OF THE TUNGSTEN D20 HE BOUGHT
A herd of Falcarius with a giant polacanthine in the middle. Inspired by the bonebed that preserves these two as well as a gif showing an elephant seal in a penguin colony.
And yes, all noises are just me. Unaltered.
fellas i’m starting to worry there might not even be a spigot from which god meters out grace
"Ocean Man" with every second beat removed
reblogging to save this forever
Alex the little arson bastard