Don't Know How Close I Got Since I'm Loathe To Publish Unfinished Stories - Tumblr Posts
One of the first fanfics I uploaded, back in 2016 (on FFN; I didn't start posting on AO3 until a year later), was a Fire Emblem Fates oneshot, a non-con, yandere gorefest about Jakob killing my Corrin stand-in, Nerr (you might recognize her as "the green-haired girl in all my Fates art and also my pfp"). I wrote that fic before the game was even fully localized (hence Niles being referred to as "Zero" and Beruka as "Belka") and it was... devisive, but I loved it enough to start writing a sequel. Said sequel somehow ended up even darker, and got real messed up before I moved onto other things and eventually forgot how I wanted to end it. But in the spirit of the spooky season, I thought I share an excerpt from the first chapter.
(The OG fic if you've got a hankering for some unhinged Jakob, or Gunter emotional torture, content)
Nohr never was, and never would be, a country known for its sunny days. The sun only managed to cross the border of the Infinite Chasm every few decades. Even so, it was clear that despite the perpetual darkness that lay over the land like a blanket, it was as beautiful a day as one could hope for in the desolate west. Though the sky was a dark bluish shade of gray, birds twittered unseen in the trees, the leaves painted in brilliant hues of red and gold as winter began creeping upon them. This was picnic worthy weather in Nohr, but it was downright gloomy to Azura. A small part of her was grateful for that. It would have seemed horribly inappropriate for the weather to be nice today of all days. The songstress surreptitiously tugged at the lacing on her bodice. She had long forgotten how much she despised Nohrian clothes, with their heavy skirts and pinching shapers, but she had no choice but to wear them today. After all, the flowing white gowns she preferred had no place at a funeral.
Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes, trying to keep from wringing her hands. She had never been to a funeral before. Her father had died before she was old enough to remember him from anything but portraits. Her mother... There had been no body then, the curse that took her breaking down and gelatinizing her body until it had sloshed across the bed she'd lain in, soaking into the covers and mattress...
Azura swallowed hard, opening her eyes. At least there was a body this time, however incomplete it might have been. As she headed towards the great hall of the castle, the buzz of dozens of people all whispering at once sent a chill down her spine. Nobles and courtiers had assembled as though they were in attendance of a gala rather than there to pay their respects. Most of them weren't, she knew that. The number of Nohrians who would grieve the loss of a Hoshidan was negligible. No, they were only there to see and be seen, and to talk. The songstress tried her hardest to ignore the hiss of voices as she walked past them, but it was impossible to block everything out. Bits and pieces still reached her.
“--the Hoshidans--”
“--filthy savages--”
“--legs wide open--”
“--tried to cover it up--”
“--blood everywhere--”
“--secret lover--”
Her hands balled into tight fists at those last words, and it took every ounce of self control she had not to storm over to the bloated prick who had said them. There were two particularly strong rumors being circulated around Krakenburg. The first was that Hoshidan assassins had infiltrated the castle and murdered their own princess as gruesomely as possible to send a message to King Garon. That was the accepted rumor that the king himself encouraged. The second, spread mostly by the servants, was that Princess Nerr was a whore of the highest order and all her sleeping around had come back to bite her in the ass when one of her many jealous lovers decided he didn't like being made a cuckold any more.
It hurt Azura to the depths of her core to see her friends' name dragged through the mud in such a way. The nerve of those people, blaming someone for their own murder, daring to say they deserved it; did they have no shame? She paused for a moment, reaching up to brush away the tears gathering on her lashes. It had been a horrid few days, with far too many emotions and not nearly enough sleep. So many times when she closed her eyes, she found herself standing at the Infinite Chasm, only for emaciated, rotting arms to reach up and twist around her ankles, dragging her towards them. The woman jumped, gasping loudly as a hand brushed against her shoulder. She nearly struck its owner in her haste to rid herself of it.
“Oh. Xander... I thought-- you startled me.”
“Azura! Calm yourself, sister, it is only I.” Forcing her breathing to slow, she looked back to see Xander standing behind her, his brows more tightly furrowed than usual as he regarded her with concern. Azura sighed deeply, the tension leaving her body at once.
“I can see that. I saw you just standing here and began to worry if everything was alright.”
“Yes, it's-- I'm fine.” The crown prince remained silent for a long time. If she looked at him long enough, the singer got the feeling that he had aged years in only a few days. His once noble demeanor was now sullen and withdrawn. Gone was his confidence and pride, leaving only misery in its wake. For once, it seemed it wasn't the weight of the crown on his brow that was crushing him.
“...we are not fine, Azura. None of us are.” He said quietly. Her heart went out to her older brother, and she rested her hand on his shoulder the way he so often did with her. She had only seen a glimpse of the room, smelled the faintest whiff of blood, before it had been too much for her. Xander had been in there for so long... For a moment, he covered her hand with his own, squeezing it slightly, before removing it from his shoulder. “Come, Azura. Our siblings are waiting for us.” They both walked in silence to the hall. There were even more people amassed there. In the furthest corner of the massive room, a small group of people huddled closely together. Elise had been sobbing into Camilla's dress all the while before, but the moment Azura drew closer, she detached from one sister to run over and bury her tear streaked face in the other's stomach. Azura could do nothing but lightly stroke her head, the long blonde hair tucked under a black cap as was customary in Nohr.
Now that her arms were free, Camilla pulled a lacy black kerchief from her sleeve, dabbing at the corners of her eyes. Leo did not even look at her when she approached, instead keeping his gaze glued to the floor. Rather than greet his family as he usually did, Xander looked around the great hall, his ever present frown deepening. Azura followed his gaze, frowning as well. She too found it odd that Gunther would not be there with them, especially considering that even Flora and Felicia stood there, albeit a bit further away from the royals, though still close enough to be considered part of the group. It was no secret that there was... friction between him and the eldest prince and princess (to put it kindly), but one would think they could at least set their differences aside on today of all days.
“I would've thought Father would be here by now...”
“What?” Father? King Garon, that was who he was looking for? Xander nodded grimly, abandoning his futile search for the errant king.
“I assumed he would already be here, condemning the Hoshidans for their cowardly actions...” Elise stopped sniveling long enough to look up at her eldest brother, her eyes bloodshot.
“But it wasn't the Hoshidans; it was--”
“Quiet!” Leo hissed at her, his jaw tight. “We know that, and so does Father, but he clearly wants to stir up fervor amidst the nobility. I can tell you that while none of them might give a damn what happened to--” His voice broke, and he cut himself off for a moment, trying to regain his composure. “...they might not care what happened here, but you'd best believe they won't be sleeping soundly now that they know the Hoshidans can sneak past any security measure. They'll be far more willing to dig into their stingy pockets and donate funds to our war chest if they think it's Hoshidans going around murdering people, rather than lunatic butlers...”
A veritable chill filled the air at his bitter words, aided by the cold surrounding the Freesian twins. It seemed to be an unspoken rule that they were not to mention Jakob anymore, even in passing. A sinking feeling turned her stomach as she recalled speaking to the butler on more than one occasion. He had seemed perfectly affable, charming even. Her heart had bled for him as he told her of his cold parents, and she had even felt a twinge of jealousy at his devotion towards Nerr. Now, though...
'I desperately wanted to stay and earn a place by her side...'
The memory of his words made her sick. Azura glanced at the long black box at the head of the room, surrounded by flowers and incense. Although it looked very lovely, the only purpose they actually served was to conceal the stench of decaying flesh. Even keeping the princess' body in the cool, dark cellars while nobles had gathered had not been enough to stave off the rot. Azura shuddered suddenly, though she couldn't put her finger on why. It wasn't from the cold, the whispers, or even the horrid knowledge that the first true friend she'd made was slowly liquefying in a box. For a brief moment, something had just felt too wrong for her to ignore.
Even as the remaining nobles piled into the room, even as King Garon himself made his way inside, standing with Iago and Hans rather than his children as the priest led them in prayer, she could not shake the feeling of wrongness. Every few minutes, her eyes would dart around the room, searching for another head of lilac hair. On the one hand, she could almost understand Gunther's absence. It made sense that he would want to mourn in peace, somewhere far away from the stares and sneers that always seemed directed at him as of late, but on the other... didn't he want to spend a few more moments in his wife's presence? It was the last chance he would have, after all...
Dwelling on such a line of thoughts was too depressing, even for a funeral, so Azura turned her attention back to the priest, pretending to care about the words he spoke. When she was little, her mother had told her that when people died, they became stars so that they could always look upon those they'd left behind. She had believed that as a child, believed that when she looked up at night, her father was up there somewhere, but as she grew older, she found it harder and harder to find comfort in that particular fairytale. People didn't turn into stars. They turned into soil or, if they were very unlucky, a rushing river's foam, and left you all alone.
As the prayers ended and silence descended on the hall once more, a group of pallbearers approached the coffin, intending to take it out where the carriage was waiting to transfer Nerr's earthly remains to the graveyard the Nohrian royal family had been interred in for generations. Azura was sincerely surprised Garon would allow someone everyone now knew was truly a Hoshidan to lay amongst his ancestors. She had a sneaking suspicion this was Xander and Camilla's doing more than his. Rather than proceed, it seemed the bearers were talking to one another with increasing frustration. The way they jostled the coffin made it seem as though it was going to hit the ground at any moment. Camilla's hands balled into fist, her lips twisting into an enraged snarl as she stormed up to them, knocking aside any who were in her way. She did not bother controlling her voice, the acoustics of the massive chamber carrying her anger even further.
“What is wrong with you!? Have you no shame!? That is my sister you're about to drop, you worthless fools!!” The men cowed in the face of her fury.
“We beg your forgiveness, milady, b--but... something is wrong.”
“What can possibly be more wrong than it already is?!”
“...the coffin, princess... It feels loose. We're trying to be careful, so as to not drop it, but it feels like it might come apart at any moment...”
“What are you talking about?” Camilla panted as though she were running, and she grabbed one end of the lacquered box. “You're useless! Give me that!” She pushed the pallbearer away, the sudden shift in weight causing all the rest to stumble slightly. As the coffin shifted, the lid swung off, knocking one of the unfortunate men in the head. He dropped his corner, and the casket hit the ground, the loud crash silencing the room. Azura's hands flew to her mouth, horror and disbelief dueling inside her. She wanted to push her way to the front of the growing crowd, but at the same time, she didn't want to see a twisted body lying on the ground.
“It's empty!”
“What?”
She could barely hear her own whisper as the nobles began chattering again, gossip spreading over the room like a flame. There was no body. The nails holding the lid in place had been pried up. The inside looked as if it had been torn apart. Iago's unctuous voice seemed to float to the top of the clamor like a scummy film as he intoned that the Hoshidans were more dastardly than they gave them credit for, to resort to something like this. Beside her, Xander shook with barely contained fury.
“...no... No, Father would not stoop to such pettiness as this... he would not desecrate our sister's body just to further stoke Nohr's fervor... He wouldn't!” Once again, that indescribable chill ran through Azura's veins, like a cold hand tightening around her chest. Hesitantly, she reached out to the older man, pausing for a moment before gently tugging on his sleeve. He could have ignored her, he could have rushed over at once and confronted their father. She was secretly hoping he would do just that, but instead, the crown prince shifted his focus to her. “What is it, Azura?” She opened her mouth, but remained silent. She wasn't even sure what she was hoping to gain by speaking up. It might have even been better to just stay silent, but she could not stop the words from spilling from her mouth.
“...I haven't seen Gunther all day...” For a long moment, Xander just stared at her, nonplussed, but slowly, the meaning of her words dawned on him. He reached up, burying his face in his hands and looking more broken than Azura thought a man could look.
“Why...? Why are these deviants hellbent on taking my little princess from me...?” She had no answer for him. She regretted opening her mouth. It was easier to lay the blame for this at Garon's feet.