Doctors - Tumblr Posts
“Israel” burned many children, women, and the elderly tonight in Rafah, an event that Israel knows will be nothing more than a minor fire in the eyes of world leaders. None of them will comment or pay attention, and if they do comment, the argument is ready and the understanding of the situation is present. A world without justice. To every living human conscience, I urge you to help us escape from Gaza and save us from the hell of war before our turn comes in this genocide.
If you don't mind me asking, what ARE the right codewords to use on doctors and such?
I’ve thought, many times, about writing a book or something that was basically How To Negotiate Your Disability Without Curling Into A Ball And Weeping More Than Once Or Twice A Week *Or* Murdering The Entire Universe (More Than Once Or Twice A Week).
Here are some highlights:
1) On acquiring adequate pain medication.
Never actually say “I really need strong drugs here doctor, because the drugs you and every other doctor gave me for this injury/illness didn’t work, and also I’ve been in pain for years and I’d like that to stop.”
While there are some doctors who speak human languages and will understand what you’re saying, most, when you say that, will hear:
“I am a ravening junkie werekaiju, and I will come to your house and EAT YOUR BABIES IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME HEROIN.”
You think I’m kidding? Watch a healthcare professional’s eyes when someone else says something like the following. Watch them shut down and back away and tighten up and generally stop treating the person like a human. So what do you say?
Try this:
“Well, I hate these drugs that make me *stupid*, you know? One of these so-called doctors — they gave me some pill that made me feel like I was on a whole separate planet for *years*, but I was still in pain! I have things to *do*, doctor. I have a job/family/projects. I wouldn’t be here if I could get my work done the way I am now, but if I can’t do them with the drugs you give me, then what’s the point?”
Make sure to translate this into the appropriate dialect for your area, but note the important points:
a) Reassures the doctor that you’re not one of those ~*eeevil*~ junkies.b) Reassures the doctor that you’re not one of those ~*eeevil*~ non-productive members of society.
c) Reassures the doctor that you’re not one of those ~*eeevil*~ weak-willed disabled people.
Remember not to use too *much* *correct* medical jargon — they get suspicious about that.
Yes, all of this is necessary a *lot* of the time.
With the above code, 95% of the time the doctors begin *cooing* at me and treating me like *royalty* — and *100%* of the time I have gotten the effective medication.
Pro-tip: If you can add a true (or true-sounding) story about how much you *hate* one *particular* opiate (“Percocet is useless! All it does is make me stupid!”), then you’re probably in the bag.
2) Acquiring mobility devices.
Never actually say “I need a walker/wheelchair/scooter, because I have trouble getting around, and also I have a great deal of fatigue and pain when I try to do so.”
While some healthcare professionals speak human languages and have souls… well. A lot of them? Will hear this:
“I am a fat, lazy, Fatty McFatFat, and I will continue to expand, much like the universe, until I am a drain on the resources of this great nation and a proof that you, doctor, are a failure. I will never use the mobility devices, ever, and they will gather dust in my home — a mockery of everything you, Morally Healthy Person, holds dear.”
Yes, I know this makes even less sense than the former, but I’ve interrogated these people — the ones who have still have partially-functional souls and minds — and this really is how it works in their adorable little pinheads.
They really do think we’re asking for these devices for… no reason at all.
Or, as my otherwise sane GP put it, she has an honest fear that people like us will take one look at our new mobility devices and throw all caution — and sense — to the winds. That we’ll stop stretching and exercising. That those of us who *can* walk for short distances will — somehow! — decide to *never walk again*. That we’ll decide to — gleefully! cheerfully! blithely! — let every last one of the muscles we’ve been clinging to with our *fingernails* *atrophy* to *nothing*, because…
Because they think we’re idiots, that’s why. So, try this instead:
“I have a lot of pain and fatigue when I try to walk for any kind of distance, at all, and that’s getting in the way of my ability to have anything resembling an active life. It’s even hard to get to my doctor’s appointments sometimes! I want to do at least some of my own shopping and other errands, and go out with my friends, and at least try to hold down a job, but unless the weather is really good and I’m having a good day in other ways, it’s just not going to happen. I don’t want to stop using my cane/walker/whatever completely — and I *won’t* unless I *have* to, just like I won’t stop doing my PT and OT exercises — but I need something that will let me actually have a life.” Note the similarities to the pain management code — and yes, do make sure you put this in your own words.
But also make sure you keep everything that makes you sound like the Virtuous Handicapable Person you totally are.
Because that’s necessary.Yes, it is.Yes. It. Is. Just as it will be necessary, in many states — make sure you check — to add in this little number:
“It’s just… well, you know that I don’t really have any bladder or GI issues, doctor, but I still… sometimes… on bad mobility days… you know.”
Here’s where you look down.
“Sometimes I don’t make it… you know. In time.”
Understand that you’ll have to repeat this to, like, four different people. At least.Understand that some of them will make you get specific.
If it helps, pretend you’re Steph Brown, doing her level best to gross the everloving bejeezus out of her P.E. teacher with graphic stories about her period so she can get out of class and fight crime.
*I* certainly found that helpful.
Just out of curiosity, why do you consider doctors to be the easiest to seduce and keep? What factors make them easy? Don’t they prefer to stick to their own kind? (nurses, other physicians, hospital secretaries). I don’t know much about doctors so I’m curious
And I totally understand your viewpoint when you stated “businessmen can rise and fall but doctors are employable in any economy”. But my only concern is that doctors also tend to have LOADS of student loan debt and are likely to be hardcore frugal penny pinchers because of that. And I don’t wanna constantly have to deal with that :/
iykyk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Just out of curiosity, why do you consider doctors to be the easiest to seduce and keep? What factors make them easy? Don’t they prefer to stick to their own kind? (nurses, other physicians, hospital secretaries). I don’t know much about doctors so I’m curious
And I totally understand your viewpoint when you stated “businessmen can rise and fall but doctors are employable in any economy”. But my only concern is that doctors also tend to have LOADS of student loan debt and are likely to be hardcore frugal penny pinchers because of that. And I don’t wanna constantly have to deal with that :/
iykyk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Just out of curiosity, why do you consider doctors to be the easiest to seduce and keep? What factors make them easy? Don’t they prefer to stick to their own kind? (nurses, other physicians, hospital secretaries). I don’t know much about doctors so I’m curious
And I totally understand your viewpoint when you stated “businessmen can rise and fall but doctors are employable in any economy”. But my only concern is that doctors also tend to have LOADS of student loan debt and are likely to be hardcore frugal penny pinchers because of that. And I don’t wanna constantly have to deal with that :/
iykyk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Shard of Glass
Hello hello and welcome to this week’s six-sentence story that I will hopefully remember to actually post this week. The word of the week is STRAIN, and I used it referring to bacterial strain, specifically strep. Join our narrator as they deal with condescending doctors, and try and get a prescription for antibiotics. Note, last time I tried to get antibiotics, I thought the pharmacist was…
View On WordPress
An accute exploration
Is sometimes necessary
resolving the questions
With all their consideration
The doctors say
They will give you X-ray
While you're biting your nails
Be sure they will tell you
During the next rendez vous
They will look at your nerves
To be sure you can stand
The disease you deserve
Thinking about the time that a friend and I went to the optometrist together cause he was scared of doctor’s appointments and we for real could NOT stop laughing. Both the doctors got in on it and our appointments were delayed because none of us could stop laughing long enough to actually do what we came for. It makes me think about all the photos of people who couldn’t stop laughing when cameras first came out and everyone was trying to be super serious adults, but the joy of being around people you love was so much that you can’t stop smiling even back then!
This ABSOLUTELY works.
I have used this for many years. Definitely b do it.
This is why fat shaming can have tragic consequences.
I agree because I’ve had some shitty doctors. They don’t listen to the patient and want it to be easy. Then I find out later that the meds they give you for the problem they want it to be make it worse. Anyway don’t be afraid to do your own research and ask questions. This is also why people watched the show House MD.
Doctors should snark at each other more, be a bit mean. Not for no reason, mind you. But if five doctors blow me off about symptoms and doctor number six FINALLY runs actual tests and gets a diagnosis, I think it should be Doctor Six's right to call up the other five and tell them they're lazy pieces of shit. That should be socially encouraged. Those first five doctors clearly can't listen to patients, but maybe another doctor might finally get to them.
Ok so sometimes I forget about this and like do all doctors do this or just mine? Story time in 4th grade I went to the doctors I was very VERY sick and needed medicine I felt like I was dying. So they told me I needed to diet and put me on a diet. It was because I was “severely overweight” (I wasn’t I was perfect weight for 4th grader) and it made me worse to the point I was HOSPITALIZED and turns out I had a severe case of the flu and the diet didn’t help. Do you guys have stories like this.
Agreed 👍
🧚🏻♂️🧚🏾🧚♀️
Well, it looks like I am on Tumblr now. I thought this might be a good place to show off some of my art. Here is one of my favorite pieces from earlier this year. Two of my friends, who happen to be doctors, wanted a cartoon for their wedding showing them as Flash Gordon space adventurers. I do a lot of these wedding cartoons and its always fun when they have creative requests.
Ok y’all, tip from a scheduler at a hospital. We can’t do much. We don’t have the ability to overbook drs and nurses and we sure as hell can’t just look over our shoulder and talk to them. We’re not medically trained, can’t give you advice, don’t need to know your whole health history, and frankly ew. Telling us all about it doesn’t magically give us the power to cancel someone else’s appointment and give it to you. Sorry but what we give you is all we can give you.
So I can't go to the hospital or doctor because I don't have insurance but I also can't find the answer on google so I'm gonna ask here. I fell earlier today like maybe 3 hours ago and hurt my ankle. I can still bend it. Pointing my foot only has a little pain. When I bend my ankle the other way it's buts but not only in the ankle but like the muscle by my ankle a little to the inner side of it. What do I do?
Won a game and made the mistake of mildly celebrating cuz now my rib hurts 😐👍
Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.
The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.
I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.
That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."
And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."
And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."
And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.
And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.
Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.
"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.
Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.
May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.
Okay so why the FLYING FUCK do I display EVERY FUCKING SYMPTOM OF A DISEASE AND I AM SO DEBILITATED THAT I HAVENT GONE INTO SCHOOL FOR OVER A WEEK but the fucking blood tests from the fucking doctor STILL come back NEGATIVE?!