Because I Would Be That Girl - Tumblr Posts

Imagine you’re at a party. A guy offers you a drink. You say no. He says “Come on, one drink!” You say “no thanks.” Later, he brings you a soda. “I know you said you didn’t want a drink, but I was getting one for myself and you looked thirsty.” For you to refuse at this point makes you the asshole. He’s just being nice, right? Predators use the social contract and our own good hearts and fear of being rude against us. If you drink the drink, you’re teaching him that it just takes a little persistence on his part to overcome your “no.” If you say “Really, I appreciate it, but no thanks” and put the drink down and walk away from it, you’re the one who looks rude in that moment. But the fact is, you didn’t ask for the drink and you don’t want the drink and you don’t have to drink it just to make some guy feel validated.

The art of “no,” continued: Saying no when you’ve already said yes. « CaptainAwkward.com

I love this post SO MUCH. 

(via heavenearthandhoratio)

This is absofuckinglutely true. Predators deliberately find the women they can manipulate out of a “no” in order to pick the most vulnerable women to coerce. If you see a guy doing this to someone else, step the fuck in. Amplify her “no” if you see her struggling to assert herself to someone pushy.

I’ve done this for a total stranger. When I said “I think she said no” he started acting sort of aggressive and told me to mind my own business, but she was looking at me with panic and when I asked if she knew him she said no. After it was clear I wasn’t budging he left, and after he left she told me she had been uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do, and that he’d grabbed her inappropriately.

Protect each other. Not everyone is able to voice a “no” firmly and repeatedly. Learn the skill and protect others who are still learning it.

(via thedatingfeminist)