Actually Narcissistic - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

sometimes i like wonder if im actually narcissistic until i talk to my parents and im like. oh yeah. right.

the holy trinity is god, my mother, and him. (but the trinity is more than three, where my ex, my father, and they all also sit and laugh.)

when someone asks me what i like

i hate my brain because im supposed to be studying but i literally cannot stop thinking about how (basically me, my ex and our friend we all went to a thing together) and my ex split to go study somewhere else different from us two and after they split off us two (me and my friend) the vibes immediately went up lol

that is to say, i am superior to my ex in every way and i bet theyre miserable while us two are actually being productive (well as productive as i can be while these thoughts fucking took over my mind. i hope posting this makes them shut the fuck up a little bit) and i hope theyre fucking sad while us two are joking around

bro haha i used to do the groups thing but then i tricked myself into thinking it wasnt worth my time. also the blogs one is just about instagram lmao

Woe I made a hyper specific NPD bingo

Egotypicals can interact just dont be weird

being hpd/npd/in recovery is fucking wild because theres this guy that is so obsessive and i have like three reactions to him:

holy fuck hes fucking obsessed YES PLEASE hello??? i can do whatever the fuck i want??? and he is so akjsjjkaskdjksakjajsdlasjkdsa. the attention he gives me is so everything and i dont have to do anything for it. like ill wake up and have three digit notifications from him. LIKE. HELLO. and i can literally not even read any of it and send him a one sentence response. and he is so fucking EASY hes like a fucking dog. like he'll do whatever i say and he gives me so much attention especially sexually and romantically and god. its so FUNNY. its so addicting and like. he doesnt even fucking realise how much hes obsessed. (and he doesnt realise this isnt what friends do.... haha)

i hope he fucking kills himself. like. he is the worst man ever and he is so ANNOYING and he has such a shit reputation and can we just fucking drop him already like fucking. i hope he dies. i hope he suffers a long and painful death. but not too long. god and can he like stop. ive already told him multiple times to his face that i hate him and i hope he dies and that i dont care about him. hes such a nuisance and ive told him. like. stop. stop stop stop. kill yourself. like please hes such a BITCH- calling him a dog would be an insult to dogs.

hello why the fuck are we still??? talking to him??? god we are fucking arguing with ourselves everyday and also like its not worth it. and also he's fucking stalking us??? like yes i understand we get a kick out of it but also we are terrified??? LIKE. AND HES AWFUL. AND ANNOYING. can we fucking stop talking to him already??? we've expressed to him multiple times we hate his ass and he doesnt listen. he doesnt fucking listen???? gang- like-

anyways worth it

gang i love having low empathy honestly. just makes life slightly more convenient. like yeah maybe i want emotions but like. empathy kind of seems like a bother no?

if there was no one around me, who would i be?

would i even want to draw doodles in the sand?

not to brag but i have a friend who gives me attention when i explicitly express i need it and understands that im cluster b and actively cares for me with it

sometimes i wonder what i could have done differently.

but i was only five, eight, twelve years old. he was only twelve, fifteen, twenty years old.

my brother deserved better. i couldn't have helped him.

i was the golden, favourite child. more beloved than him. so sometimes i wonder what i could have done differently. instead of being paralysed, pathetically crying or drowning out the screaming as i hid. as the police sirens came to our house. having to ignore the blood and slamming noises.

as the golden child. the delicate, younger one. more perfect. more in line. sometimes i wonder if i could have stopped our parents. that maybe he would see my innocent beady eyes filled with sadness.

but i couldn't have.

because as i idealise that life i forget all the times my own life has been on the line. spit on my face. cigarette smoke blowing off his jacket. and where my father would yell at me and my mother would scold him. yet on another occasion the only comfort i could receive was being enshrouded by nicotine while her screams punctured my heart.

being the favourite did not mean being gold. it just meant coming out barely better than last place. it meant i had valued holding my tongue back. under the table jabs rather than overt critiques. that i forgot how to cry. that i cried when it was neither our parents fault and they felt like good parents for comforting me. that that was the only time i could receive attention and love.

my performance was the only thing deserving of love. that i was better than everyone else. but still beloved by everyone. that everyone was looking at me. that everyone was looking at me? i did not feel good about that one. they drilled it into me that i should be happy about it.

i have not had a conversation with my brother until this year. not a proper one.

i still wonder what i could have done differently.

i hold nothing but pure rage in me

I made a Dianthus if he was a sticker pack :D @stormcloudsarepretty

The amount of therapy I've had to go through. That I'm still going through. That I will have to go through. To sort out the last 8 yrs. To figure out why I made excuses for things that were right in front of me. Your constant lying. Blaming everyone and everything else. Never taking any accountability. The numerous grape accusations against people that NEVER HAPPENED to the point you could never keep your stories straight and lying about being drugged when you obviously don't know what that is like? Taking people's survivor stories and making them part of your own for sympathy and attention. Making up lies about your friends, family, and exes... like I wouldn't reach out and talk to people? Stalking accounts that actually have survived narcissistic abuse so you can pretend to not be one? Acting accounts so you can mimic facial expressions and body language? Trying to turn me into some villan too, like you aren't going to do what you've done to literally everyone else in your life to your current partner. And she's so isolated and obsessed it's going to take so long for her to figure anything out.

You're a sociopath. The MOST vile, evil person I wish I had never come across. SA victims aren't believed because of people like you. Disgusting piece of trash.

Tbfr I don't care. I'm living my little life and I'm happy. I shared that post on fb for all of 3 mins talking about how funny I thought it was. And I think this whole thing rn is hilarious at this point bc it is ACTUALLY INSANE. I've never seen anyone else so blatantly lie. It's like being in some weird movie. I could absolutely care less about strangers on the internet. I'm not chronically online? I post my own horrendous trauma on here, I'm 100% open. Why would I ever put anyone else's trauma down? I genuinely don't know what is wrong with y'all that you would be so vindictive to CAUSE more trauma to someone else, let alone can't comprehend why someone else would never want to do that to any other person. Idk what doesn't click there with y'all.

But it's not my problem anymore. I've tried, for a year. I've let it eat at me for a year. I was suicidal. Y'all KNEW this. You made fun of me. You made fun of the damage you caused. Who in their right minds does that?

Yall deserve each other. Truly. Both heartless. Both vindictive. Both liars. Both absolutely insane. I absolutely left for a reason. And she shows why every single day. Smfh. Both why I left the relationship and why I told her I couldn't be friends months later. Drama, chaos, horrid mental health, liar, god awful human being. Now there's 2? Ffs.

What do I have to do to get rid of you?

get this shit away from me i miss the gay porn ads

shut the fuck up about how Trump is a 'sociopath' and a 'narcissist'. It all just feels like an excuse to be ableist rather than a simple observation. quit it with the armchair diagnosing of narcissism and antisociality. I'm tired of leftist spaces so flippantly throwing these words around as synonyms to 'abusive cunt' as if there aren't narcissists and antisocials/"sociopaths" in these spaces too, as if we aren't valuable and good enough for you people.

it's one thing to make an assumption based on Trump's behavior, but to act like THAT'S the reason he's a fucking scumbag, all while laughing at the very traits you pointed out as signs of a fucking PERSONALITY DISORDER, really shows your ass. this isn't just holding someone accountable; it's reducing a group of disorders to being an abuser.

people instantly stop being mental health allies when it comes to being fucking respectful to cluster Bs. y'all stop being the 'tolerant left' when someone has a 'scary' disorder, and yes this also includes psychotic and schizospec individuals. I know this post won't stop the ableist behavior among leftists, but I'm tired of it. Leftist spaces are just as unsafe to me as someone with NPD and ASPD as right-wing spaces are to me as a trans and queer individual of color. that's fucking horrific.

I'm not the first and I won't be the last to say this, but leftists need to do better. stop using 'narcissist', 'sociopath', and 'psychotic' as insults. I'm not going to coddle you and hold your hand for spitting in my damn face; pick up a dictionary, since you're clearly capable of reading pop psychology articles on 'narc abuse'. it's not that hard.

question for my narcs, who have you told about your diagnosis? and has your family been shitty about it?

I'm asking because I'm trying to get diagnosed but I'm worried my family being shitty about it. like "you're manipulating me right now aren't you!!" is something I'm worried about hearing.

I really don’t like it when people tell me what to do, especially if I was already planning to do that thing. I will now not do that thing just because you told me to do it. You’ve ruined both our days now.

I take being told what to do as the other person assuming I’m stupid. I don’t need you to give me orders, I’ll do what I want and I’ll do it my way.