Too Soon?

Too soon?

Hoitily-toitily

SNL's Samberg had

Asked an alluring young

Lady to dance.

Finding some privacy

Andy excitedly,

Anti-climactically

Jizzed in his pants.

This. Is. Awesome.

the doubtful guest

This one's a bit gross, but if you have an iron stomach and the same sick sense of humor that I do, I urge you to read below the cut (it's worth it).

Like A Snickers, For The Undead

There once was a Vampire named Jack,

Who had a severe hunger attack.

It may seem disgusting to you,

But he sucked a used Kotex or two.

To a Vampire, that’s just a light snack.

This is why you should always drink on an empty stomach

There was once a big oaf named McGill,

Who quite stupidly drank himself ill.

He threw up wine corks,

Two meals with three forks

And a chewed-upon five dollar bill.

Rambam

Higgledy-piggldy

Moses Maimonides:

Jewish philosopher

Coming from Spain.

 ~

Thinking of poems as

Uber-frivolity,

Surely rolls in his grave,

With due disdain.

~

For a little more info on Rambam (aka Moses Maimonides) check out Wikipedia or the Jewish Virtual Library.

It's always the quiet ones...

There once was a lady named Heather

Who seemed frail and as light as a feather.

But do not be fooled,

'Cause she'll have you schooled

When she's got you in handcuffs and leather. 

- This wonderful poem was written by my friend Raph: may your mind never truly escape the gutter.