THIS

THIS

my feelings of superiority that come from my npd is usually not "im better than everyone" but "everyone is worse than me" and even though they sound similar, they feel completely different to me

I don't care about getting better. I care about being happy.

If you’re a stereotypically “good” person because of being abused then that’s great

If you’re a stereotypically “bad” person because of being abused then that’s great

Your response to trauma is valid, your response to abuse is valid and you don’t owe it to anyone to be inspirational.

people with ‘scary’ and ‘weird’ mental issues i love you.

i love schizophrenics. i love psychotic people, i love people on the schizospectrum, i love people with DID and OSDD, i love people with NPD, i love people with PPD, i love people with SPD, i love people with ASPD, i love people with personality disorders, i love people who hallucinate, people who have delusions, and people who have paranoia. i love people who are mentally ill in ways that are viewed as strange and scary by society. 

it is not your fault that you struggle. you are valid. you are deserving of care and you are deserving of love. your issues do not negate any of that.

NPD traits haver here! NPD affects literally every aspect of my life. Personal relationships are much harder because I either need people to think I’m better than them or I need to hate them enough that they’re automatically inferior to me so their opinion doesn’t matter.

My intense aversion to feeling inferior to anyone makes it really hard to be vulnerable with people and I rarely have stable friends. All my friends I befriended at a time in their lives when they were unstable, unsure of themselves and their opinions and socially awkward because they’re far more likely to have an inferiority complex which makes them far more likely to think I’m better than them.

The downside of that is that I then have very unhealthy relationships with people because stable people make me feel threatened so I immediately revert to hating them and two very unstable people in a friendship is a recipe for disaster.

I also end up getting very visibly frustrated at times when I’m not the one leading a conversation because I can’t stand to be in the background. I also have an intense need to be the one people go to for advice because why would they ever go to anyone but me for what they need? But then when they do come for advice I hate actually giving it because them being emotional and really needing something from me overwhelms me, which makes me frustrated and then that frustration turns into anger/apathy.

There’s also a part of me that really struggles to tell which of my feelings in a relationship are caused by what. All my relationships are somewhat superficial and not knowing whether I like this person for them or for the attention they give me can be worrying.

NPD makes things very hard but it gives me good traits too. I befriend loners, treat people how I want to be treated and even if my actions have greyer motivations I am strongly inclined to do the right thing no matter what.

For example whilst someone might see bullying and go “I have to stop it because it’s wrong” I would go “I have to stop it to prove I am morally superior and an amazing person”. At the end of the day we both end up doing the right thing and that’s what matters.

I rambled but yeah.

Anyone with personality disorders willing to share difficulties in relationships/intimate connections?? Asks, comments, rbs??

-Cluster b (borderline) trying to get to know more about the other clusters and PDs because you never really understand until you talk w em I find.

For me personally the main trigger is just fear of abandonment and emotional permanency. Which literally categorizes bpd but idk if other clusters are as interpersonally defined and recognizable as b???

You're all valid! This is a safe space correct me if I said anything wrong.