My Nine Year Old Cousin Just Saw A No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service And She Immediately Proclaimed That

My nine year old cousin just saw a “no shirt, no shoes, no service” and she immediately proclaimed that she would wear in a very short crop top, slippers, and no pants. If that isn’t malicious compliance, I don’t know what is. Already trying to beat the system. I’m so proud of her.

SOMEONE WRITE THIS!!

An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.

Honestly I still think this is the best thing I ever posted.

Is “oh fuck” an emotion

I was thinking about that post that says Mom stands for “mother of mine” and I started thinking about what Dad would stand for and all I could think of was “dead ass duck”.

Personally, I used to use my barbies to play out scenes from homefront World War 2. I actually learned a lot by doing it.

It kind of really confuses me when Barbie commercials have little girls dressing them up and brushing their hair Like no Barbie is not about fashion. Barbie is about collecting as many dolls as you can get your grubby 7 year old hands on and dominating the living room with your expansive empire of plastic women. Barbie is about creating intricate social structures and spicy inter-family conflicts between town house residents. Barbie is about formulating complex back stories for tortured Ken dolls with emotional scars. It’s about creating near-sadistic dramatic plot twists that split up marriages and cause that one Barbie you really dislike to be ceremoniously tossed down the stairs in order to be offed by the jealous ex-wife of Ken #4.

Very Bad Idea:

What if we replaced “mean, median, and mode” with “meme, memeian, and mood”?