Zoing - Tumblr Posts
Zoing didn’t originally have a hat.
But with all the jagerkin around, it was inevitable Zoing heard about hats.
It wasn’t so much that Zoing got along with the jagers.
Just he was very impressionable.
And jagers always were talking about hats.
Hats seemed important!
Some had feathers.
Some were very, very small.
All of them had great colors.
There were the ones with wide brims.
Some were pointy on top!
Some were taller than Zoing.
Zoing always had a new hat to tell Gil about.
Till one day, finally, Gil acquired a hat for Zoing.
Zoing’s very own hat!
Suddenly, the jagers were very aware of the blue arthropod's existence.
Especially this one hatless jager.
Zoing felt sorry for that jager.
Until the jagers all tried to pounce Zoing.
Tried to snatch Zoing.
Tried to squish Zoing.
They also thought Zoing looked pretty tasty.
Gil always managed to stop them.
Even when he was not much bigger than Zoing himself.
Somehow.
Still, this happened a lot.
Especially after the Baron let slip his son needed extra training.
Zoing got very good at running with tea.
Gil got very good at fighting jagers.
To this day, Zoing remains undefeated.
I’ve been thinking nonstop about Zoing with a little cup of tea running from a pouncing jager. I’ve thought about it so much I’m now half convinced this must already be art given how well I can visualize it. If you art, would draw this, and take commish, message me?
Zoing didn’t originally have a hat.
But with all the jagerkin around, it was inevitable Zoing heard about hats.
It wasn’t so much that Zoing got along with the jagers.
Just he was very impressionable.
And jagers always were talking about hats.
Hats seemed important!
Some had feathers.
Some were very, very small.
All of them had great colors.
There were the ones with wide brims.
Some were pointy on top!
Some were taller than Zoing.
Zoing always had a new hat to tell Gil about.
Till one day, finally, Gil acquired a hat for Zoing.
Zoing’s very own hat!
Suddenly, the jagers were very aware of the blue arthropod’s existence.
Especially this one hatless jager.
Zoing felt sorry for that jager.
Until the jagers all tried to pounce Zoing.
Tried to snatch Zoing.
Tried to squish Zoing.
They also thought Zoing looked pretty tasty.
Gil always managed to stop them.
Even when he was not much bigger than Zoing himself.
Somehow.
Still, this happened a lot.
Especially after the Baron let slip his son needed extra training.
Zoing got very good at running with tea.
Gil got very good at fighting jagers.
To this day, Zoing remains undefeated.
I’ve been thinking nonstop about Zoing with a little cup of tea running from a pouncing jager. I’ve thought about it so much I’m now half convinced this must already be art given how well I can visualize it. If you art, would draw this, and take commish, message me?
Girl Genius Fave Characters + Hogwarts Houses
Or, "Two characters you thought were in Slytherin, but aren't, and two you thought weren't in Slytherin (but one of whom actually is)"
Since Tarvek's section is Long and I live on AO3 where you know ahead of time who’s getting written up): the faves are {Bang, Tarvek, Violetta, Zoing}. No, there is not a favoriter much less favoritest among them.
Bang: Gryffindor
She's Gryff in that she has one hammer [well, knife] that she applies to all problems. You might think be tempted to think she's Slytherin because she's willing to kill people to get what she wants, but she's not really ends justify the means. She's more stabbing justifies the stabbing. She has one value system, and applies it to everything. Pretty much Gryffindor in a nutshell. You don't conform to my value system? I will make you conform!
Tarvek: Ravenclaw
Tarvek is the hardest to place. The natural inclination is Slytherin. He's our beloved underhanded weasel of ambition. Smells exactly like Slytherin. But there's something a little off. He wants to rule the world, but rather than it being an ends in and of itself, for Tarvek, this appears to be a means.
Ravenclaw, however, fits, and not just from Sparkiness. He studied the socio-political problem, and believes that his solution is the best solution, not just for his own gain. The world can be a better place, not just "better for him," and the way to get there is to rule it all. And I believe he wouldn't necessarily fight for the title if he thought the world was going to be okay (probably in Gil or Agatha's hands. Maybe not Gil).
Let's take a look at the ways we see he isn't just for himself:
He saves Grandma
He saves Colette
He saves Anevka
He saves Lucrezia
He saves Violetta (by sending her to Mechanicsburg)
He drops onto a Fun-Sized Mobile Agony and Death Dispenser
He saves a jager and a Vespiary Squad member from a burning dirigible
He goes up against a Slaver with a wooden sword (and thank goodness Agatha is there)
Okay, so most of these you can argue are still Slytherin. Saving Grandma wins him lots of Family Points, for example. But grabbing Jorgi on top of Ruxala? Recall, his first and primary goal was to save the weasels. (Wait a second... how does he even know to save the little furballs? Bang, a high-ranking Wulfenbach captain didn't know about them until a few hours ago. I guess that's a question for another day.) He's 2 seconds from death the entire time. You could still argue he wants Ruxala for her knowledge, and the jager wins him points with Agatha. But the wooden sword move is exactly the sort of nonsense you expect from Gryffindors.
So Gryffindor!? Motives are a closer match, but the methods are off (which, you'll note, is exactly the opposite problem he has with being a Slytherin). Tarvek's way of dealing with problems is basically everything but straightforward because he knows if he hits a problem head-on, he's going to die. (And maybe this is why his type is too heroic for their own good.) Also, I don't know how you would do a Gryffindor calculation and think, "Yeah, I should save Lucrezia." (You're about to bring up a Wormtail-shaped argument, aren't you? I love me some Peter Pettigrew character analysis so Bring. It. ON!)
Well, Hufflepuffs are do-gooders, too, so why not Hufflepuff? Tarvek does work his butt off, but have you heard him talk about his family? There's a piece to Hufflepuff that believes in the very best of people, and that is very much not Tarvek. Maybe it's that he believes it of everyone but his family. Which is like, anti-Slytherin (arguably therefore Slytherin). Or something.
It's a little unfair that at this point, we only have one house left standing, especially because, surface level, you could easily place every Spark in Ravenclaw, and no one would really say you were wrong. They're all capable of disappearing into their lab, spending hours (if not days) on their chosen project (or whatever happens to pass under their hands), and operate at a level that is untouched by non-Sparks. But just because they're all able to do that, does not mean we should just lump them all in Ravenclaw. (First of all, that'd have to be one sturdy tower.)
For Tarvek, though, it fits. His approach to the socio-political situation doesn't seem to stem from what do I gain from it and how do I end up on top. Instead, he studied and understood the game, thoroughly thought about each and every possibility and the futures they could bring, decided he hated it, that it does no one a benefit, and the only way to get out is to win it, and to do that, he again leaves no means unexamined in crafting his plans. To him, it's chess. And when Agatha walks into the picture, he does a lot of re-calculating. Suddenly the things he had taken for granted as the only way are no longer the only way, and he's willing to adjust his plans to fit the new reality. He’s sort of an experimental Ravenclaw in that way. Come up with the theory, see how it unfolds, and adjust as you go.
The only "outlier" on Ravenclaw is that Tarvek has amazing restraint for a Spark, and doesn't get lost in his passions and interests. But you could also chalk that up to, he's calculated it out, and this really just is the best way. (I mean, well, it is.)
Violetta: Hufflepuff
By far the most straightforward to place. She knows her family is problematic, but then argues that Auntie Margolotta was awfully sweet for not trying very hard to kill her. She spends her first part of Mechanicsburg hating Tarvek for sending her away, but manages to figure out on her own why he sent her. And at the end of the day, she'll save his ass. (It's her job, she says.) And she works insanely hard. Sure, she also complains about it incessantly. (Just let her have cakes and dresses already!)
Zoing: Slytherin
If Tarvek was the hardest to place, Zoing is probably the most surprising. The obvious easy choice here would be another Puff because wholesome, but it just doesn't feel right. No one's going to argue against Zoing being the purest, but Zoing does not think of everyone as equal or even pretend that some people are more equal than others. Zoing's #1 is Gil. He will be loyal forever and always to Gil first. And Zoing has teeeea ambitions. (Who knows what he would've done if Gil said Agatha was there to make tea. And Zoing probably has a running [one-sided] competition with Wooster as to who can be more helpful to Gil.)
For all his tea ambitions, not everyone gets Zoing!tea. There are people who deserve tea, and people who don't deserve tea. Othar probably isn't ever getting tea (unless Gil explicitly says Othar gets tea). If you dissed Gil or laughed at Zoing's hat, you're probably not getting tea. I'd have words with you for making Zoing spite you, but it'd be possible.
You might think of loyalty as a Gryffindor trait, but, let's face it, Zoing is not the bravest.
A full Hogwarts
I swear I didn't pick houses or characters so that I could have a full set, but let's not pretend … I am very pleased by this conclusion. Sorting method a little bit derived from @sortinghatchats, but I didn't want understanding their taxonomy to be required reading (it’s fun though!). And shout out to @circumference-pie without whom this post would have never existed.
Zoing serves the Wulfenbachs and tea.
I just want an AU where Gil and Tarvek have to work through their shit to avoid upsetting Zoing
Like, enough shit went sideways back home after Tarvek leaves Paris that he ends up as one of Klaus's Sparks on the Castle. (Albeit much more heavily monitored than most)
And Tarvek meets Zoing, likes Zoing, bonds with this lonely lobster who misses his first friend.
Zoing likes Tarvek, he appreciates tea, and sure, learning that he was a bad friend to Gil is upsetting, but he agreed to let Zoing teach him how to be a better friend. (He was made for this, after all)
Gil comes back from university to find Zoing in much nicer clothes (still violently orange and oversized, simply because the fight wasn't worth it) and enthusiastically dragging him to a heavily guarded lab.
Tarvek is in there and Zoing points an authoritative claw back and forth at them. "Newoldfren!" He declares and starts setting tea for three.
Did anyone ever sit tarvek down and explain to him that the talking bug in gils lab was a replacement for him. Like does he know about that.
Crossover fanart for Girl Genius and Big Hero 6. Originally posted here.