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stuff that wouldve happened if seth were still w the foxes
“it’s a sad day… we lost our dear teammate seth…” “stop telling everyone i’m dead” “sometimes i can still hear his voice”
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Here’s to the Fools Who Dream
Loosely based on ‘City of Stars’ from La La Land and ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ from ‘Les Misérables’. Lyrics in italics.
We all dream every now and then. The human mind likes to wander beyond the sky and beyond what is, into a world where everything feels lighter than the heaviness of our reality. We like to dream of the future and of the past and of the things that we wish were true. Of things that will never be because they’re impossible or unreachable or just made of magic and stardust. They’re the things that seem untouchable to us. That’s the essence of the dream – the longing for something that appears to be so, so far away.
So is it any wonder that there were two little boys, a long time ago, laying awake at night, staring through the window at the night sky, dreaming. Building themselves castles made of clouds. Getting caught up in a dream, an illusion, didn’t seem all that bad to them. Even if a castle of clouds wasn’t real, it was still better than what was awaiting them in the morning: nothing. They would have done anything to run away from the nothingness.
One day, there laid a little blonde boy in his bed in the orphanage. He was called Simon Snow, a name the other kids laughed about whenever he introduced himself. He watched the clock on his nightstand. The number turned and suddenly it was midnight. Simon let his gaze drift out of the window and at the sky. It was midnight.
Wow, he thought. Now I’m six years old.
As he gazed at the sky, he thought about how it was his birthday that day and only the stars even cared enough to shine for him. Nobody would light the world for him to make him feel special.
City of stars,
are you shining just for me?
City of stars,
there’s so much that I can’t see
But there was no one there to judge him or to remind him of how things really were – so he let his mind wander off. Tomorrow morning, his mother would wake him up, with a smile so bright, it would light up the whole room. She’d have light red hair that’d dance like fire in the sunlight. She’d have chubby cheeks and the warmest hugs anyone could imagine. (Simon didn’t remember what it felt like to be hugged really tight and full of love but he was still allowed to dream about it). And tomorrow morning, she’d give him freshly baked cherry scones for breakfast. (Simon didn’t know what cherry scones tasted like, but he imagined if he ever ate one, it would taste like Christmas and pretty sunflowers and soft voices.)
City of stars Just one thing everybody wants There in the bars And through the smokescreen of the crowded restaurants It’s love Yes, all we’re looking for is love from someone else A rush A glance A touch A dance
Then his father would come in, a tough looking man who would protect him from all the ones who shot him hateful glances every day. He’d laugh the most heartfelt laughter, loud and gentle, like a warm summer rain. And then he’d turn up music – cheerful and happy, carrying all the colours in the world into his ears. The three of them would dance together, messy and constantly stepping on each others feet because, and Simon was sure of that, they all would suck at dancing. They’d dance until their feet would hurt and they were completely out of breath.
A look in somebody’s eyes To light up the skies To open the world and send it reeling A voice that says, I’ll be here And you’ll be alright
Just someone – they wouldn’t have to be his parents. Realistically, Simon knew that his parents had left him and that they wouldn’t come back for him. But someone – anyone. Anyone could come to give him all the love he needed. Someone who’d be there for him when he cried. Someone to tell him it was alright when he had gotten into a fight with someone – even though he never wanted to hurt anyone.
He wished at the stars that someone would come for him. They wouldn’t even need to save him. They wouldn’t even need to do anything – the only thing Simon needed was for someone to be there.
Because he was well aware of the truth. Tomorrow morning, he would wake up, on his own. He’d go to breakfast and they’d give him a muffin, bought at the store, with a single candle. Everyone’s attention would be on him for a moment as they wished him ‘happy birthday’ and he’d feel nothing but uncomfortable.
As he looked at the stars, he pushed every thought away. Because he’d do anything, for just a minute, to live in a different world. He turned in his bed and closed his eyes.
He didn’t think about the laughter – never with him, always on his costs. Nor did he think about the mean words of his bullies that hunted him day by day. He didn’t dare think about the fights he got into far too frequently or the others, who talked to their friends whereas he sat all alone at lunch.
But most of all, he didn’t want to think about the gaping hole in his heart.
We all dream, sometimes. But dreams can be painful and sometimes they can tear us apart.
Simon Snow knew nothing of the boy who, too, dreamed of impossible things and laid awake that night, far away from the orphanage. The boy was very different from Simon – he was dark where Simon was light and loud where Simon was silent. The thing they had in common was that they had the same parts broken and that loneliness was crushing their hearts.
The black haired boy lived in a house with little people and much space while the other lived in one with many, but neither of them felt at home where they spent their nights. Home is more than just a place. It can be a person or a feeling or the knowledge that no one will judge you.
That boy had eaten plenty of cherry scones and had he thought about them, he wouldn’t even have remembered what they tasted like. Because since a year or so, anything he ate tasted like nothing.
They boy had an equally weird name as Simon Snow. He was called Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, but the only part of that which he cared about was 'Pitch’. Not only did it perfectly describe the blackness in his soul, but it was also her name.
When he laid there that night, and looked at the same stars that Simon glanced at at the same time, without being able to close his eyes, he allowed himself to think of her.
There was a time when men were kind When their voices were soft And their words inviting There was a time when love was blind And the world was a song And the song was exciting There was a time Then it all went wrong
The blackness hadn’t always been there. There was a time when Baz had smiled and laughed and didn’t lie. There was a time when he was able to be happy with no concerns. When people loved him and there was no dreams needed, because the dream was reality.
Now she only existed in his memory. Her hair had been black and her skin had been dark and soft. He could still recall her smell when she held him in her arms. He knew that she had loved him unconditionally, as a mother was supposed to, and he still loved her.
I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high And life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung No wine untasted
Promises had been made when he was younger. Nice words she had said to him and all the what ifs. She had shown him the world and he had seen wonders in it and beauty. She had given him books to read. He remembered her being proud of him when he soothed the children in the nursery. He wondered whether he’d feel home there.
Baz knew that he was too young to feel sad like this, but in his mind there was only just before and after. Before she left him, hope beat in his heart. His future had looked bright then, now it was just grey.
But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they tear your hopes apart As they turn your dreams to shame
He knew that she was gone and that she wouldn’t come back. And at night, when nothing was there to distract him, he missed her like crazy.
“I’m scared,” he whispered and thought of the children in the nursery. He wished for her to come and tell him: “It’s okay, little puff.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them again, he thought he saw her face in the stars for a second.
“Please,” he whispered again. “I know you can’t come back… But can’t you send someone? Is there not a hero who can save me? Because - ”
He buried his face in the pillow. “Because it’s really hard to carry on, all on my own.”
For a second, he waited, as if she’d send him a sign or answer. But there was nothing, no sound and nothing else. He was alone.
She slept a summer by my side She filled my days with endless wonder She took my childhood in her stride But she was gone when autumn came
And he thought of her lying there, by his side, stroking his hair when he was afraid or had a nightmare. He wished that this was nothing more than a nightmare too and he’d wake up in the morning. She’d still be here and she’d smile her caring smile.
And I still dream she’ll come to me That we will live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weather
But Baz knows that these dreams are stupidity. He won’t ever wake up from this nightmare. There’ll be no one saving him from the darkness. His father told him more than enough that he’s supposed to live in the real world. And so he does. He faces the plain white wall and the scary gargoyles at his bed post. No need to be afraid of them, or anything in the real world. What’s hidden in his soul is much scarier. And he’s endlessly afraid of the day it awakes and he knows that there’s no way that his mother could love him again.
I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I’m living So different now, from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed
Two boys laid awake that night, two sad songs playing in the darkness. The thing they longed for was the love of someone else. They were waiting for a miracle to happen. And little did they know that only five years later, a miracle would happen, when the crucible put them together and they attended a magical school.
But it was even more years later when their dreams finally clashed. It was another dark night and they sat in their bedroom, closer than usual, on Baz’ bed. They looked at each other, hesitantly, and Baz’ heart was swelling with love. He’d fought against the monsters for a very long time and he’d lived in the castle of clouds for just as long.
He looked into Simon’s eyes and as he stared into the depths of blue, he found something he’d been looking for for a very long time. He swallowed nervously and took Simon’s hands in his. He felt Simon’s magic pulsing through him and suddenly he felt like he could walk on clouds. “Twinkle, twinkle, little star,” he whispered. And that was the moment gold and black crashed and united to become something new.
A look in somebody’s eyes To light up the skies To open the world and send it reeling
It was pure magic. The room seemed to vanish around them and there was nothing left but the stars, shining brightly. There were so many of them and they were beautiful and Baz started laughing because he was holding Simon Snow’s hands and it was like touching the stars.
And then Simon started laughing with them because it seems ridiculous when dreams come true.
Their laughter was light hearted and honest and this was the place where for the first time in a very long time, they found home.
A voice that says, I’ll be here And you’ll be alright
In Simon’s smile, Baz could see that he felt it too.
I don’t care if I know Just where I will go 'Cause all that I need is this crazy feeling A rat-tat-tat on my heart
It was the feeling the both of them had dreamed of one night when they were kids.
Think I want it to stay City of stars Are you shining just for me? City of stars
Baz wanted to stay like this forever. He didn’t want to let go of Simon’s hands and neither did Simon. The stars around them were the wonder that they’d been waiting for. You never shined so brightly
Some say it’s foolish to dream. But for some of us, dreaming is the only way to keep breathing. Sometimes, dreams guide us through the dark until one day, we don’t need them any more.
So whenever you meet a dreamer, be aware of the darkness that might lay somewhere in their soul. Be aware of the dangerous path that they’re walking and never once yell at them for it.
Because it takes bravery to walk through the forest and don’t you dare take away the light in their hearts. Don’t you dare take away the hope that, one day, they’ll reach the stars. Because, no matter how foolish it might be, the dream of it is better than nothing at all.
Rant
Listen up folks because this is going to be a long one and I can’t sleep and it’s been bugging me for hours.
I hate people. HATE. People who abandon, abuses, or neglects their pets. It’s the worst thing in the goddamn world and it makes me cry everytime I think about it or come across it on the internet. I adore my pets. ADORE THEM. And I can’t fucking imagine hurting them or getting rid of them. It makes me cry thinking about someone hurting these precious animals. Like who in the world would do that when they look up to you with so much love in their eyes!? These animals love you and you betray their love by stabbing them in the back and they don’t understand, they just see you leaving them behind and have to wonder when you’re going to come back for them. It’s SAD. Leaving your pets on the side of the road is like leaving your child on the side of the road because you ‘just got bored of them’ or ‘couldn’t take care of it anymore’. And I fucking swear if any of you come on here and say that pets aren’t like children, I will personally attack you and take any pets you fucking own and kick you off my blog because fuck you. I know some of my friends (me included) will fucking die if something happened to their pets. Same goes for parents if anything happens to their children. To us, our pets are our fucking children. I know when I first got Heebo (my first cat) she climbed up a tree, I flipped my shit because I thought I was going to lose her. I couldn’t bare the thought of never seeing her again or any of my animals again and it would break my heart to know that my animals are out on the streets and I couldn’t find them and people are probably being mean to them by shooing or kicking them away when they are trying to find help to get back home. You don’t understand how upset that makes me and wanting to punch anybody who abandons or hurts their pets. I would be looking non-fucking-stop to find my pets and I would be bawling my goddamn eyes out until they were found. It sucks and it makes me super Upset. Even seeing animals on the side of the streets wandering around I want to help them by giving it food and water and a nice shelter. I don’t like seeing animals on the streets, I hate it. I hate seeing animals flinch or cower away from people’s touch because of past abuse. And I fucking Hate seeing malnourished -to the point where you can clearly see and count their ribs- animals.
What I’m basically saying is that you are the scum of the earth if you abuse/neglect or abandon your pets. And if I catch anybody mistreating their animals I will fucking steal them away from you and make sure you never hurt them.
