Yess I See It - Tumblr Posts
I'm thinking about how Matthew's perfectionism has always gotten in the way of all his hobbies. He tells James in Nothing but Shadows that he can't draw, can't write prose or poetry, can't compose or do anything like that, and, even without counting the fact that he is literally 13 and shouldn't expect to be good at those things anyway, you just know he probably only tried each of those things once or twice before giving up because he wasn't immediately good at them so for him that meant he had failed and couldn't be good ever and he was only good to watch the arts he loved from afar (spectate).
The only hobby he ever had was baking and only because no one else knew. Since it wasn't something anyone expected of him, he could do it in secret with no pressure, and allow Cook to teach him slowly because he was just "helping" her.
And then he lost it too by accidentally poisioning his mom and being too traumatised to ever do it again