Yap Sesh - Tumblr Posts
Humans were never meant to exist (Yap session)
Some of the most tragic homes I've seen were merely a shelter, something to fend against the elements, and nothing more. It leads me to wonder which is the real tragedy? Is it being forced to abandon what we could've been, our morals, or whatever It may be to simply survive? Is it a tragedy when it is no longer an option to live but a choice to not die? Is that the real tragedy? The loss of desire? The lack of want? The right to live being taxed? In which all that remains is need? Though there isn't a loss or lack of desire, is there? It is surely there but neglected out of necessity; all that remains is unfulfilled longing. The tragedy, which is our system that ensures we no longer need to be animals, we no longer need to survive and hunt and defend, that we can be civilized, continues to fail? And oftentimes on purpose. What is wrong? What is wrong with this system? What is wrong with those who made it? Is that not a question we often find ourselves asking? What is wrong?
What is wrong with the brain? The body? The systems and the histories and the children and the economy and environment! What is wrong with it all! With me! With them! Is that not why we create science and philosophy and religion? to figure out what is wrong with it all? And do we not categorize to determine what is right? Maybe not; I am not a scientist, nor am I a philosopher, and I'm certainly not religious. I think. It's surface leveled of me to simply say it is about the wrong with our world. I know better, I know that it is also about our curiosity, our seemingly never-ending hunger for understanding. But bear with me. Isn't it something we often find ourselves asking? What is sin? What is immoral? What is the issue, the problem, what is wrong? And we have a variety of answers to choose from. We've had a millennium to decide for ourselves, to pose the question. I sometimes wonder if we are what's wrong? Is the common denominator simply us? Humans? Are we always trying to discover what is wrong because we know intuitively that we are simply wrong as a species? Humans were never meant to exist. We Were a 1 in a million chance. Is that perhaps the problem? Is it simply that nothing we do or think or feel will ever be right because our mere existence was wrong, and flawed and parasitic to begin with? Are humans just inherently wrong? But wait--my mother told me that by saying we were "never meant to exist" would imply there is an order, that there is some code, something that predetermines existence. Life, What is meant to be, and what is right. That statement would imply something fateful. If we were never "meant" to exist, then why do we? If there is some divine set of rules and codes determining the privilege and curse of existence, why did it mess up? Am I wrong? Perhaps I'll never be right if this is the case.
Idm being ace anymore. I should've never had an issue with it but I did. I thought I'd feel empty. I'd never feel passion , I'd never get to experience the vulnerability of sex. I'd never get to show someone parts of me that I hide from the world.
I know now that being ace doesn't limit that. It just presents different ways of doing it. I'm not sure if I'll ever get into a long-term relationship anytime soon, but I think I can live with that. I get to daydream possibilities and look forward to it. Even if it never happens, I'll be fine. I like being alone. I like crocheting and listening to music. I like reading random books and writing essays on them. I like trying new recipes. I like myself and I wouldn't mind spending some alone time for a long time, yk?
This is just a random post lmao, idk what to put here
i am going to yap because this is my blog and i do what i want ok. on the outside danger days is like an upbeat summer album with a storyline about a group of rebels fighting an evil corporation in a post-apocalyptic world but it makes me tear up a lil cause like... the fab four died at the end of the sing mv and danger days was mcrs last album. gerard wrote summertime for lindsey and their love. scarecrow samples the song mcr did on yo gabba gabba cause bandit liked the show and its like a kids song about the death of innocence and the end of the world. and i couldnt get through the kids of yesterday mv without crying. the whole album is (in a way) about them knowing they're going to end (they die in the mv and disband irl) and accepting that and its also gerard sending his love to lindsey and bandit and i also think there's a bit of a message in there for the fans to keep on fighting and being themselves even after the band is gone. alright now im going to cry again i have big feelings ok