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A Guide to Graveyard Work

One of the earliest introductions I had to spirit work as a baby witch was graveyard work. In short, this practice involves building relationships with the deceased spirits of a graveyard, by communicating, leaving offerings and being mindful of their space. It is part of a wider practice known as death work, but this focuses specifically on how to enter and respect what is essentially the 'home' of the spirits you are working with. You can further build on your practice from this.

This is a handy guide to the different aspects of the practice, looking into the appropriate offerings and etiquette, written with a lot of love.

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Graveyard Etiquette

There are rules you must follow in graveyards, whether for your personal safety, out of politeness, or following the law of your country. Sometimes these overlap. But sometimes, the rules you hear might be no more than baseless superstition, which there is a lot of concerning graveyards. There are way too many superstitions to list, however -

Some good rules to follow are:

Don't begin this work with the intention of taking from the graveyard or using the spirits in your practice. In the same way you wouldn't take from a stranger, it's important to build a relationship before you ask for things.

Try not to stand on graves where possible, out of respect for the dead but also those mourning them. Sometimes, graveyards are set up so that it is impossible to go anywhere without stepping on something, which is okay so long as you're not intending disrespect. However, do be wary that headstones can fall and the ground can shift.

Some people believe you shouldn't take any photos of the graves. I personally think that if the grave is old enough, it doesn't matter too much. If the grave is modern, it might be inappropriate for those in mourning to see you taking photos.

You can clean up trash, but be mindful of what might be considered trash. Obvious thrown-away food and drink packaging might be appropriate to clean up, but what if someone left a deceased one's favourite food at their grave? Or what if you decide to get rid of a toy or letter left there? Try to avoid cleaning up around the actual graves and focus on cleaning near the gates or in empty areas.

Don't trespass! If the cemetery has set entry times, enter and leave only within those times. Don't jump the fence, and don't enter any areas that are clearly gated or off-limits.

Leave an offering when asking to take something from the cemetery grounds. I don't feel it necessary to leave an offering each time you enter, especially if you plan on visiting often. But, if you want to take something like graveyard dirt or plants growing there, leave an offering for sure. And make sure to ASK. If you feel wrong, it's a no.

If you EVER find anything askew in a graveyard, such as vandalism, theft, or even dug up bones (it happens, I've found them before) PLEASE report it straight to the groundskeeper, associated church, or relevant authorities. It is not your responsibility to attempt to fix these things, or take things for yourself.

Offerings

You can leave offerings at the gate, or on specific graves if you want to work directly with that spirit. You don't always need to leave an offering, but it is a good thing to do when building a relationship and especially when asking to take from the site.

Some good offerings are:

Coins, especially two coins. There is a belief that the two coins are placed on the eyes of the deceased to pay the ferryman taking them over the river Styx. This has been maintained as a tradition.

Flowers. Even better if you look into Victorian flower symbolism for older grave sites and base your offering on this.

Origami. I would often fold multiple tiny cranes and leave them as offerings on individual graves. The best part is they are biodegradable.

I would be wary of leaving any kind of food or drink, as you might attract animals or even cause harm to the ecosystems living there. The same goes for anything made of plastic or that could hurt an animal.

Natural items such as seashells, feathers or stones are great, safe options for offerings.

You could also burn a candle or incense, but remember to stay with them while they burn and make sure they are extinguished when you leave.

Offerings don't have to be physical - you could say a few kind words, sing to them, or even just dedicating time to sit with the dead or talk with them can be an offering in itself.

Protection

I personally don't go into my practice thinking I could get possessed or followed by a demon at any given moment. However, I do think it's important to remember that graveyards can be full of a lot of upset, angry, and occasionally malevolent energies. Even if you don't intend to, these energies can attach to you or be taken home by you and can make you feel off.

Here are some ways you can protect yourself:

Cleanse yourself before and after entering a cemetery, even just by meditating and visualising or by using incense.

Check out my post on shielding techniques, and try to familiarise yourself with the visualisation techniques until you feel comfortable doing them.

Charm an item of clothing, such as a piece of jewellery, as an amulet to ward against negative energies that you can wear.

Find or create a protective sigil or rune that you can draw on something or on yourself.

You can pray to any deities you work with to ask for protection, especially if these deities are associated with death or spirits.

Communication

People who practice death work might communicate with the dead in different ways. They might be clairvoyant, use divination, feel energies or sometimes even just know what the spirits are saying. In any sense, spirit communication is a skill that is very much required in this practice. @koscheys-skull said it best here. You need good communication skills, in the sense that you are still talking to PEOPLE. And you need to go in with good intentions. If you are going in purely with the intention of using the dead for your own benefit, you won't get very far. If you can't talk to and actively listen with some semblance of empathy, you won't get very far. Death work is not an aesthetic, it is not for you to take your emo photos and be disrespectful. it is a serious, difficult and tolling practice that takes a lot of time and refining.

If you have gotten this far, I wish you all the best. It is a difficult but ultimately fulfilling part of spirit work, and if you are ready to dedicate the time and effort to it, you will get a lot out of it.

Thanks for reading! Please visit my tags for more guides, and feel free to reach out with requests for more information. Lots of love.

Only mildly related to my previous post, but I need more witchy friends/a community of some sort. I’m new to this and so I’m 🥲 confused and waddling about like a toddler on ice for the first time.

I’d be inclined to create a discord group, but I’d need help with bots and modding the whole thing me thinks.

Anyways uh, hey everyone 😭 who wants to be witchy friends (all skill levels)

Fruit Magic: I

Apple:

Protection, immortality, romance, longevity, adoration, endurance, warding, happiness, and love.

Apricot:

Admiration, compassion, cheerfulness, devotion, bliss, love, happiness, romance, and optimism.

Avocado:

Compassion, adoration, contentment, optimism, pleasure, romance, happiness, lasting love, and positivity.

Banana:

Fruitfulness, affluence, s*xuality, lustfulness, fertility, prosperity, passion, bounty, sensuality, and desire.

Cherry:

Resurgence, reawakening, prosperity, revival, rebirth, sensuality, romance, rejuvenation, and fortune.

Coconut:

Purifying, revolution, rejuvenating, reawakening, exclusion, cleansing, transformation, and banishment.

Dragon Fruit:

Conquest, opulence, strengthening, excellent luck, victory, energizing, achievement, and success.

Grape:

Extravagance, lushness, prosperity, fruitfulness, magnificence, regard, bountifulness, fertility, and luxury.

Lemon:

Cleansing, invigorating, cunning, purification, dexterity, refreshing, intelligence, and banishing.

Lime:

Regeneration, cleansing, stimulating, sustenance, transformation, revitalization, purification, energizing, and transformation.

Lychee:

Good fortune, sophistication, love, attraction, wealth, excellent treasure, elegance, romance, splendor, and abundance.

Mango:

Cheerfulness, success, happiness, delightfulness, prosperity, pleasure, abundance, and blissfulness.

Olive:

Camaraderie, coherence, cleansing, harmonization, restoration, purification, collaboration, synchronization, and healing.

Papaya:

Escalation, inspiration, contemplation, love, prosperity, and compassion, attraction, introspection, and romance.

Peach:

Vitality, perseverance, rejuvenation, wellbeing, spiritual rebirth, vigor, fertility, longevity, vitality, and fecundity.

Pear:

Synchronization, intelligence, wellbeing, affluence, endurance, harmonization, healthiness, prosperity, and longevity.

Pineapple:

Decadence, magnificence, affluence, knowledge, abundance, understanding, good luck, and opulence.

Pomegranate:

Fruitfulness, attraction, majesty, magnetism, lushness, fruitfulness, splendor, magnificence, and fecundity.

Tomato:

Relationships, accomplishment, dignity, reward, triumph, desire, connections, success, honor, bounty, victory, and lustfulness.

Watermelon:

Great fortune, fecundity, profusion, fertility, abundance, bounty, lushness, opulence, potency, multitude, and good luck.

had already sent this to a mutual of mine but i thought this might be helpful for anyone else who may need it

it’s a tarot spread on how to know what deities are trying to reach out with you and why, works like a charm i swear

have a good night everyone!

-star <3

Hi, I'm a 'beginner' witch and pagan just looking for some advice. I say beginner because orthough I have been slowly researching and engaging with my practice for years because of other life events I have never really gotten too involved.

But now that my life had calmed down a bit more I was looking or working with/worshiping both Demeter and aphrodite. I have made alters and cast spells in the name of both goddess for years but have never truly worshipped them. I'm a classics student so know the mythology surrounding them both already but was just wondering if anyone had any advice on what is should do next?