Vulnerable Dodge Mason - Tumblr Posts

Dodge Mason x Reader: Told you there was not much to see.

Words: 1038

Warnings: Suicide mention and a bit detailed, please do not scroll down if you are triggered by this kind of stuff.

Reader pronouns: not stated.

Summary: Dodge tells you about his dad.

Author's note: I hated so much the way Natalie reacted to Dodge opening up about his father's suicide. So I'm here to change that. Reader kind of takes over Natalie's role. Dodge and Reader aren't in a relationship but you can imagine them as a couple, I guess. Feedback is appreciated! Requests are still open, especially for Dodge!

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You looked around Dodge's bedroom one more time, spinning around yourself. The room's furniture was pretty simple, and there was a clear lack of decorative objects, except for the trophies in a shelf next to the bed.

"I like it. It's nice. Austere," you chuckled, glancing at him.

He cracked a smile, that seemed too forced to be true "Told ya there was not much to see"

You glanced at the closet, half open. All the clothes there were either black or grey, which made you laugh again. You felt him staring right at you, wondering what you were giggling about.

"There are more colors, y'know?" Still chuckling, you grinned at him.

"I've heard rumors," he chuckled back, this time a real smile appearing on his face as he shrugged. His hands went to te pockets of his pants.

You walked towards the shelf full of trophies. You had never seen so many together, except for the ones back at high school that were won a lot of years ago. You yourself had never gotten a trophy for anything. Dodge took a step closer to you, to look at those trophies just like you were watching them, but you sensed he was tense. In fact, he had tensed since the very moment you two had walked into the bedroom.

"Yours?" Your question broke the sudden silence.

"Some of them, yeah," Dodge's mouth ran dry. He had to lick his lips before continuing "Some of them are my dad's"

"Wow"

He knew where your eyes were fixed: on the biggest trophy of them all. It was the one at the back, with all the other trophies trying to cover them, like he had tried to hide it and failed miserably.

"Yeah. I was, uh, 16? When I got that after I beat his time" his voice had changed, and you didn't know if that was good. You glanced at him and noticed how he seemed too far away from you, even though your shoulders were almost touching "Never forget the look on his face after I came out of the pit that day"

"He must have been proud"

Dodge shook his head and you sensed you had touched a tricky subject "Not really, he was drunk. That was the last day I saw him actually alive" he watched how your eyes flickered with regret "Anyway, he was... uhm, I don't know. He came back a few months later after that. And he hung himself"

He had lost control on how to use his mouth, how to stop himself from saying all those things. You found yourself not knowing how to react.

"Dodge-" your voice broke.

"We always used to joke that, you know," Dodfe nervously laugh, like the thing was funny. It really wasn't "He'd, he would die with a bull rope on his hand. I'm sorry, that's a..."

"No, I'm sorry," you rushed to interrupt him, shaking your head and still having your eyes widened by the surprise "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, I'm... uh-"

You shook your head again "I didn't want to- bring bad vibes... bad memories-"

"No," both of you were making complete messes of yourselves, constantly interrupting each other. You forced yourself to keep quiet and not interrupt him this time "I know you didn't mean to- You didn't know"

Inevitably, Dodge looked so sad. Of course, you couldn't think of anyone you knew who would be happy to abruptly tell someone one of your parents had hung themself to death. And suddenly you got scared Dodge could think him winning that trophy was the reason his father had...

"Dodge... I'm so sorry"

Dodge pursed his lips, feeling ridiculous "Thanks"

The pain on his eyes was too much for you to just let it be. Slowly, to let him know he could reject you, you pulled him close and hug him tight. He hugged you back, but not as tight. Instead of holding hard your waist he just allowed his arms to be loose around it.

"It wasn't your fault" you muttered, one of your hands making small, relaxing circles on his back. He shook his head, which broke your heart "You were a child. He was the adult. I swear it's not your fault"

"I couldn't do anything-" his voice broke, worst than when your own had broken.

The circles on his back become more intense. You knew he was fighting off tears by the way his body tensed against yours "Is not like you should have given up riding, or your score, or the trophy. Look, you weren't the one in charge, you weren't responsible of him. Because you shouldn't have been"

Dodge tried to nod, gently breaking away from the hug. He was, in fact, trying to not shed all the tears that were shyly forming in his eyes. You caressed his hand as softly as you could, trying to cheer him up, even if it was just a little bit.

"Thank you, Y/N" he murmured, softly, still not having all his voice back. Dodge looked more relaxed, though. He watched as your fingers kept making those circles on his palm "You're the first person- the only who has actually... said that"

You smiled softly. Your hand left his as you looked up at him. He was trying to go back to who he was, which made sense. You wouldn't like to show yourself as vulnerable as he was showing himself in that moment, even though you didn't mind. Then you realized, you wouldn't mind being vulnerable around him. You knew Dodge well enough to know he would take care of you as well as you had taken care of him.

"You good? We can talk"

"I'm good"

He was telling the truth, or that's what you saw behind his eyes. You nodded, pleased with the answer, and then smiled at him. You were surprised when he smiled back, he was always so picky about when to smile and he usually didn't do it, and you certainly wouldn't have expected him to start smiling after that. But it felt nice the way he smiled, and you were happy he was able to be okay. Dodge Mason deserved to be okay.