Tw Suicide Baiting - Tumblr Posts
I nearly did.
On Wednesday I had a flashback as I was walking into therapy.
It was the first few days of January in 2016 and he was confronting me about my transgressions. He had found a letter I had written to Rapist. I think I've told this story before, but reliving it this time made me drop like a tonne of bricks.
He asked what the deal was with Rapist and what he did to make me hate him so much.
I was cornered, so I told him. Telling anyone is hard, but telling someone who is unreservedly hostile and violent? He had just closed a door on my arm and kept pushing on it. It bruised purple immediately.
This was one of the hardest moments of my life ever.
After telling him I collapsed ( literally) into tears. He came over to me real gentle like as though he was going to comfort me. He whispered real softly and real close to my ear "you know, it would really make it better if you just killed yourself."
I felt his hot breathe on my ear on Wednesday.
Fuck it. Spoiler below for a A Star is Born:
Tw - suicide and suicide baiting.
Streak Over
I was just thinking to myself the other day how it has been at least a month since I have cried properly. Yesterday I went to a movie and it triggered something fierce.
I wish I’d done what I normally do and read the plot ahead of time to be prepared.
I’m actually torn between sending a warning about it and spoiling the movie. .
That would require me to feel shame about this subject, which I simply don't 🤷♀️
it would be a little easier if the people who were "coping with childhood sexual abuse" by making content that is perfectly described as "child pornography" seemed a little less gleeful about it. But what do I know.
Chat, do you think I’m a cutie?
Do you think I’m a cuuuutie, Chat?
…
“No, go krill yourself-”
*THUD*
MATE, YOU DON’T THINK I’VE TRIED?!
*chat conversation under read more*
Who’s Who
Happy_Noodle777 - Johnny “Nny” C (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac)
TheBestByFar - Mihael “Mello” Keehl (Death Note)
Moon_Light - Light Yagami (Death Note)
Jeff_Der_K1ller - Jeffrey “Jeff the Killer” Woods (Creepypasta)
Matsuda78 - Touta Matsuda (Death Note)
xX_mmy_Xx - Jimmy “Mmy” (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac)
Chat
Happy_Noodle777: plz change the song. I'm going to commit crimes if I hear this shit one more time
TheBestByFar: You should play dress to impress
Moon_Light: Elden Ring?
Jeff_Der_K1ller: DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS
Matsuda78: DRESS TO IMPRESS!
Happy_Noodle777: NO!!! DON'T PLAY THAT SHITTY ROBLOX GAME!!!
Happy_Noodle777: PLAY POSTAL INSTEAD
Matsuda78: Of course you're pretty! ^-^
Moon_Light: You're cute
Moon_Light: No homo
Jeff_Der_K1ller: No XD
TheBestByFar: ig
Happy_Noodle777: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!
Jeff_Der_K1ller: u look stinky
Happy_Noodle777: GO KRILL YOURSELF
Jeff_Der_Killer: stinky bastard man
xX_mmy_Xx: f@ggot
Moon_Light: This is why you need mods
Happy_Noodle777: @xX_mmy_Xx SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!! NO ONE FUCKING LOVES YOU!!!!!!!
Matsuda78: I can mod for you! ^_^
xX_mmy_Xx: @Happy_Noodle777 sorry
Jeff_Der_KIller: LMAOOOOO
TheBestByFar: HOLY SHIT
Matsuda78: O_O
Moon_Light: What's that poster in the back?
Jeff_Der_K1ller: LMFAOOOOO
xX_mmy_Xx: clipped
TheBestByFar: Jesus Christ
Moon_Light: Calm down!
Happy_Noodle777: Me too, you're not special
Jeff_Der_K1ller: KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF