True Crime Podcast Geraskier - Tumblr Posts

Modern AU where Geralt is ex FBI and runs a true crime podcast with his overly exuberant and terribly dark humored husband Jaskier with expert guest forensic pathologist Yennefer and the occasional appearance from his brother Eskel who is 100% a believer in aliens and government cover ups.

They once recorded the conversations at Thanksgiving dinner and just posted it unedited.

Fans want to hear more from Vessimir, but only on the topic of how pretentious Geralt was as a child.

No one knew Jask and Geralt were married til season 5 when Jask says 'babe' (which is common bc he's just constantly over affectionate) and Geralt responds with 'darling' and the fans go buck wild.

They post a little 5 minute montage of wedding photos/clips in response to all the questions with the caption "no shit Sherlock?" Bc Geralt thought it was obvious.

They actually end up solving a cold case one time and Lambert is SO annoyed with the attention they're getting and the smug looks Jaskier gives him.

Meet and greets get wild. All the booze. They go WAY over time on any and all panels bc they're just so into it and Geralt wants to hear all the theories regardless of how stupid they are bc "its important in any investigation to think outside the box"

Geralt throwing Jask over his shoulder when he gets too excited (and angry) over a suspect in that one cold case he cannot stop thinking about.

Valdo runs a podcast himself that started true crime but morphed into roasting Jask and trying to prove their theories wrong. He doesn't upload for three months when they solved the cold case.

Geralt has a rant at least once every couple episodes on proper crime scene and evidence collecting procedure. He's sick of these lazy deputie's and officer's shit.

Jaskier cries often. Our boy is empathetic af and fans start sending kleenexes to the studio they record in. Pretty soon they have to tell people to stop bc there's just too many. They donate them to shelters and preschools.

They are asked for merch so they do tshirts and tank tops with images of blue latex gloves, evidence bags, and long tweezers with the text "don't be fucking lazy" and there's a couple different versions with names of shitty coroners (Fami Malik anyone?) or cops that threw entire cases by fucking up the chain of evidence.

Guys I could go on forever.