To Be Collared - Tumblr Posts

At some point last year I decided I needed to get serious about finding my own Dominant. I've always been incredibly turned on by the act of submission and giving myself fully over to someone else. I didn't realize until pretty recently that normal romantic relationships don't excite me the way the D/s dynamic does. There's no feeling in the world like sub space and I desperately crave it more & more. I don't have a lot of real life experience being a submissive, but a good friend of mine has acted as a Dom for me over the last year or so and I'm becoming addicted to the sensuality and safety of sub space.

But that dynamic wasn't going to be sustainable in the long run. He has a lovely girlfriend and I started developing romantic feelings for him (which had to be inevitable, what with my mind and body stripped completely naked by and for him).

My challenge thus far, in my sexual and romantic lives, is not getting too attached to people. I've always found it difficult to differentiate between just sex and real intimacy, and it's made even more difficult within the D/s dynamic.

Absolute openness and honesty and vulnerability is vital to any real power play dynamic. There's nothing more erotic than giving yourself over to that, but that also makes it harder to see the situations clearly sometimes.

I was recently corresponding with a Dom I really wanted to be mine. He pushed me out of my comfort zone and left me wet only with his words. His account was deactivated in the middle of a chat one day and I don't think I'll ever know if he deactivated it or if the tumblr police did. But when I tried to respond to him and was unable to, I felt like I literally couldn't breathe.

Sub space is a challenging concept, and at least for me, sub space makes it even more difficult to keep your wits about you and to not feel too much and to always keep a line drawn between fantasy and reality.

Why am I writing all this? Most probably as therapy of sorts. But I do really want to find a real Dom this year who will actively choose me every day we're together.

Fingers and nipples crossed. Happy New Year, Everyone!