This Was So Funny Omigod - Tumblr Posts

OMIGOD

This made my morning, made my day, made my week.

I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES. LMAO I LOVE THIS

I CAN'T GET OVER MIKU'S DIALOGUE.

thank you banana for the food 🙏🙏🙏

Sun's Wedding [2]

Cringe: hahaa... I have no idea what I am Writing...

Part 1

“--And then she dared to drag Sun along with her, like he was just some toys!!”

The dark blue animatronic’s heels crunched on Monty’s million-dollar tile floor. The crocodile was already sleepy, but they still couldn’t go back to cuddle with Earth in their bedroom because someone was still shamelessly refusing to leave.

The elegant yellow-green wedding invitation was torn to shreds on the glass table, but still managed to form some fancy letters, Sun x Miku.

‘Oh my god, it’s really late, Moon! Give me a damn break.’ 

Monty’s eyes twitched, almost closing under their sunglasses. The thought of throwing Moon in the trash was getting more and more appealing with every minute the damn moon-model kept them from sleeping. The vision ahead was getting more and more blurry, and Moon’s face was starting to resemble a mutated eggplant.

“Monty. Are you listening to me!”

Damn, Monty almost fell. They adjusted their glasses, snapped two fingers at Moon, their voices a little groggy. 

“Sure, bud. Crystal clear.”

The silence was filled with gravel and the judgmental look from those red eyes. Moon looked like he wanted to snap their necks, which was impossible but kinda cute because that twink thought he could with these two rotten noodles the blue animatronic called hands.

“Monty, if you doze off again, I’ll blow up every vault you’ve hidden under the Pacific Ocean.”

A chill ran through Monty’s body, just like the day they’d discovered the money they’d invested all went bankrupt in a Soviet project. Using the German scientists was not a good move.

Their mouths dropped open, they clutched their metaphorical hearts. Their hands shook as they removed their glasses and stared at Moon’s eyes.

“Moon… Moon… Please…! Come on, buddy!? You don’t mean it, do you?” Monty stammered. “Those are my babies!!”

“Oh well Monty, guess your babies are about to go shit.” Moon sneered. “241 gold vaults and 462 weapon vaults. One wrong move and–.” Moon made the sound of an explosion, the activation button hovering teasingly in Moon’s hand.

A withered sigh of resignation came from Monty. They leaned back, both hands rubbing their foreheads.

“Geez! I don’t remember you being this scary…” They muttered under their breath, completely nonchalantly admitting their crimes. “Alright! I admit, I slept through half of your monologue.”

Not even looking at Moon’s finger that was so close to the button, Monty picked at their ear. “But what do you want me to do with that information?!! Find a sniper and deal with Miku myself??? Throw that crazy girl into the East Sea?”

“I don’t know!” Moon waved his hand, shouting. “I’m desperate, okay!! And you’re the one who does all the weird stuff all the time!!”

“So what?” Monty laughed, their voices almost mingling together. “You think I can pull something out of my ass magically, Moon? Do you really think I can do that without preparing anything? It is Art, Moon! I need time to think! And some minors are in labor!! If they’re orphans then even better, I don’t have to pay them anymore.” They waved their hands ridiculously, their handsome reflections in the glasses making them stop their movements and admire the mirror.

Oh yes, who has such beautiful muscles… It’s you~~~

“Monty! Focus!!” Moon snapped his fingers. He felt his own patience level going out the window, and just thinking about his poor little brother trapped in Miku’s evil embrace made Moon’s blood boil.

He wanted to find Solar, but somehow that orange animatronic had disappeared along with Lunar or Earth to nowhere.

“Fine! My God! You need to relax, Moon. This fussing isn’t going to solve anything.” Monty sighed, rubbing their shoulders. They took a sip of their gin, too sober to continue this conversation.

“Well, I don’t think Miku’s that bad. She’s pretty, and she has money, a lot of money. Heh…” Monty’s eyes might have turned into $$ shapes as their hands made the same counting motion before coughing and adjusting their glasses.

“What I am trying to say is that… I think you’re overreacting. Didn’t Sun look happy looking forward to this wedding?”

“Well Monty. The truth is… I don’t care!!! As long as the person Sun gets married is not Miku!! Besides, if you like her so much, why don’t you just marry her yourself.” 

Moon glared, trying to slap Monty. Of course, if Monty was hurt by this, it wouldn’t be Monty. “I’d love to, but I have Earth.” The crocodile waved their hand. “Not worth the effort and the insurance. Besides, you’d definitely kill me if I planned to do it.”

“Good, you’re right.” Moon sighed, picking up his glass of water. “I’ll make a mess out of you if you make Earth sad.”

“But honestly Moon, my hands are tied.” Monty sighed, scratching their head. “I promised Earth I’d ​​be ‘a good boy’ when I attend Sun’s wedding. Which means—” Monty held up their fingers to show. “—I can’t do anything illegal for you.” 

The crocodile looked sleepy when they said it, which made Moon feel a little pity before he thought of all the scams Monty had put them through and that pity turned into hatred.

The two sat in silence for about a minute and twenty seconds before another voice suddenly rang out from the darkness.

“Well hello gentlemen, I see you're in trouble!"

Lunar's 4x4 body lurched behind Monty, causing the crocodile that was nodding off on the sofa to fall to the ground, lunging at the bottle.

"Cheese of Christ, Lunar!!! You scared the crap out of me!!" Monty yelled. Moon was startled too, but for a different reason, and he was too cool to act pathetically like Monty so he just opened his mouth before silently closing it.

"Lunar." Moon said slowly, sliding the orange silhouette of someone tied up pathetically, placed on top of Lunar's head. "What's that sitting on your head?"

There was a faint groan from someone Moon didn't expect. A candy corn. Or rather, Solar - The candy corn.

The poor orange animatronic was transformed into a candy corn, and was wrapped (?), tied up in a baby carrier and placed on top of Lunar's head.

There was a ribbon wrapped around his head(?), the triangular tip of the candy, and the words ‘I am the twink’ are really colorful.

“Please Moon… You have to help me.”

His friend’s voice was sad. Desperate. 

Moon knew he should remember all the life-and-death moments with Solar, remember what Solar had done for them, both Sun and Moon. Moon also needs to remember he should rescue his best friend, his partner, his close brother for some holy reason that Sun would have made him do if he were here.

But for some reason, as if possessed by a devil, Moon’s hand made the sound of a camera snapping.

‘Clack! Clack! Clack!’

“OH, FUCK YOU TOO, MOON!!!”

That night, in Monty’s mansion, Solar’s ​​curses resounded.

***

“Okay, it’s good that everyone’s settled down.” Lunar cleared his throat. Solar the candy corn had been freed, and was now soaking in a bowl of water with a tiny float. There was a gurgling sound underwater, as if there was still a lot of unique vocabulary that Solar had yet to exploit, bursting out in a place where no one could possibly hear.

Underwater.

Why doesn’t Solar dissolve in water? Moon's scientific side was eager to find out the answer.

But not now.

“First let me ask—” Moon raised his hand to signal Lunar. “Can you tell me why Solar… turned out like this?”

“That’s right, I also want to know why Moon’s weird boyfriend turned out like this.” Monty smacked their lips, and blurted out the most disgusting line of the year.

“Ew, gross. Solar’s ​​my best friend. He’s like a brother to me.” Moon stuck out his tongue, looking like he was about to throw up. Struggling in the bowl of water, Solar gasped and clung to the edge of the bowl, also speaking up.

“Yeah… technically, I am his distant relative. Besides, Moon is an aroace. And… also no offense, but I don't see you that way, Moon.”

“None taken.” Moon nodded. “And since we've ended this awkward conversation here, can you tell me how Solar got turned into a candy?”

“Oh?” Lunar glanced back at Solar, who looked like he'd seen death and returned, with the melancholy of an old man who'd lived past 100 or a beggar who'd been swept away by a river.

“My dearest brother, the story started when the portal's malfunctioning again, and as revenge for making Jack follow me,” Lunar's tone was indifferent, but his brother's starry eyes were as cold as death that it made Moon shiver, “--I decided to take Solar for a walk before returning him to his home. It was actually quite easy, since he was small, and pickable.”

Solar, now almost resigned to the currents of life, still tried to draw a middle finger on the rim of the bowl with her tiny pieces of candy.

“So.” Lunar clapped his hands. “Do you have any plans to ruin the wedding?”

“Hey, wait.” Moon shaked his head. “We haven’t talked about that yet.”

“Really?” Lunar narrowed his eyes, “-because I heard all this time about how you two were planning on hiring an assassin to deal with Miku before you both become losers and stunted out.”

“Look, it’s not my fault.” Monty defended themselves, now that they had transformed into their female selves. “The promise to Earth is a sacred ritual between girlfriend and girlfriend. Or Boyfriend. Partner.”

“And Moon is the cowardly little shit who screams a lot right now, not me.”

“Look, it may not be to your ears, but not wanting to kill people isn’t a bad thing.” Moon gritted his teeth. “Besides, Sun hates it.”

“So we just need to find a way for Monty to freely help us do it… That should be easy.” Lunar muttered to himself. A metaphorical light bulb lit up above Lunar’s head. He took a deep breath, slamming his fist on the table.

“Don’t worry, my dear brother. I have a solution...” Lunar’s voice was stern, the darkness falling on his face creating a mysterious look.

The words were full of conspiracy mixed with the eyes that flashed with a cruel light like the way a crocodile stalks its victim, making Moon unable to think that he might have been trapped.

Throat dry, Moon swallowed, listening to Lunar’s golden words.

“But first, we need to break into the wedding and steal Sun.”

***

“Look, I don’t care what stupid thing Sun does,” Solar lifted his head from the water, his mouth slightly foaming. He said dejectedly.“--but instead of thinking of some stupid plans, why don’t you… I don’t know… talk to each other like normal people. And… ask someone you know to buy Sun?

Because we have money, and connections?”

“BOOOOO!!! How boring, Solar.” Lunar lowered his finger, pushing Solar into the water, causing the candy corn to squeal in confusion. “Don’t worry, Moon, we’ll take care of it from behind.”

“You just need to relax, and watch the show…”

‘That’s right, Solar. You deserve to be drawn for that stupid speech.’ Moon thought to himself, continuing to gulp down his fifth glass of orange juice at this damn ceremony.

The altar was filled with blooming yellow roses, white silk drapes were decorated everywhere very delicately.

The sound of glasses clinking against each other. The laughter of strangers that Moon didn’t know rang out. He stood in a corner hidden from everyone, praying that a meteorite would hit this place and turn everything into a pile of dust.

“No thanks.” Every five minutes, someone would come to buy him a drink. Every ten minutes after that, some bastard would flirt with him. Moon wondered if it would count as manslaughter if he just accidentally threw those people into the sea.

After all, they wouldn't die anyway.

At least half of them would be eaten by sharks.

"Moon! You're here!!" His sister's voice rang out from afar. She looked fresher than usual today, with a pink dress and black gloves. She threw herself into his arms and gave him a fierce hug.

"Can't breathe, Earth!!" Moon coughed, trying to struggle but failing.

"It's good you're here Moon, I thought you'd be too angry to come."

Earth smiled, lightly poking Moon's nightcap.

"Haha... no way." Moon laughed so hard his mouth twisted, constantly wondering where the hell Lunar was.

"You came alone?"

“That’s right. I haven’t seen Solar and Lunar since yesterday. Neither has Monty.” Earth shook her head. “They said they had to go on some secret mission and would be coming later.”

“Hmm, that’s strange.” Moon smiled wryly. An expression that completely showed he didn’t know anything.

The silver bell rang suddenly. A certain handsome guy, who looked exactly like Miku with short green hair, spoke in a sour and annoyed voice.

“Ah, well, everyone gather, let’s start the ceremony.”

Moon didn’t even have time to react, he was pulled into his seat by Earth.

The procedures were so cumbersome, he almost fell asleep. It felt like he was stuck with a python, with a long ceremony that seemed to hypnotize people into falling asleep.

Suddenly, there was a light nudge to his side.

“Look Moon! It’s Sun.”

His brain had drifted out to sea, and suddenly got dragged back.

The music started, sacred and painfully annoying. Purple flowers were thrown everywhere by Gregory, followed by FC and Dazzle. Sun looked awkward and worried as usual, but on a not so bright side, his brother wore a proud white wedding dress and looked really better on it.

Moon would have been more moved if his brother's husband wasn't MIKU!!!

The purple bouquet was held in his arms, dotted with yellow roses. The smile on Sun's lips was still very forced, but it seemed much softer when holding the hands, or tassel(?) of their father, Creator.

The brain, inexplicably, had a bow attached to his cerebellum(?), looking extremely moved. There was a stuffy nose sound when Creator led Sun down the aisle, or vice versa because every few steps Sun had to stop to calm Creator down.

"Oh my, looking at Sun like this, I also want to get married soon. Let our father walk me down the aisle like this.” His sister cooed, something he didn’t understand why his sister wanted so much, when Creator was such a bastard—

“Oh my dear wife. You ate. Guess today guys I’m taking the big W.” Miku stood next to the priest, looking utterly smug. Beside her was Dark Sun, who looked like he didn’t want to be here at all, wearing a saffron bridesmaid dress. Their red eyes looked up at the sky as if they were waiting for this whole thing to end.

Honestly, and surprisingly, if this situation got any worse, Moon shared their sentiments.

“The Ring bearer is coming!”

On the pure white carpet with yellow petals, Ruin wore their damn purple dress, walking shakily like a British, with two bracelet-sized rings, glistening in the sunlight, placed on a soft velvet pillow.

“Oh dear! I hope I’m not too late.”

‘And I want you to cease to exist.’ Moon thought bitterly. Compared to someone who had destroyed over 4 million worlds, the treatment Ruin had received was too light. Moon wanted to do more than push them against the wall and break that arm—

Strange… Has he ever done that before?

The priest spoke up.

“Miku, do you agree to take this person as your husband?”

“Period, Father. This is lit.” Miku snapped her fingers. “Please hurry so I can bring my baby girl home.”

“And Sun, do you agree to take this person as your wife?”

The light shone on the veil, penetrating Sun’s pearl-colored pupils. His brother seemed scared. He blinked his eyelashes looking back at Moon as if seeking help, looking so heartbreaking.

Moon was about to stand up when a voice suddenly rang out in his ear.

'--No!! No!!! Lunar!!!.'

There was a loud explosion. Half the guests were blown up everywhere. The door flew open, smoke poured in and figures stood in the backlight, making Moon squint.

"Lunar!!! You little shit!!! How dare you throw me like that!!??"

"I have no choice, Monty!!! Only you have enough weight to break the door."

"You can use Bomb, Lunar!!! You don't need your bullshit magic to throw me inside!!!"

"It's star power, Monty!!!"

"I'll call it that when it does more than shoot lightning out of your ass! And turn me into barbecue!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP THE FUCKING FUCK!!! I RATHER DEAD THEN KEEP HEARING YOU GUYS MOANING EVER SINCE WHEN WE CAME HERE!!!"

"Oh look, Lunar! Solar is talking!! Why don't we listen to that craftsman, huh? Sure, let's hear the one who didn’t contribute a single bit!!!” Monty roared. Rushing forward to bite the candy corn before being stopped by Molten who was lifting them up like that hundred pound alligator only just weighed as Solar.

“Come on you bastard!!! Even if I’m small I’ll still make you shit!!!”

“How, with your short legs? And your invisible hands??”

The air melted to reveal four people standing and arguing. Technically it was one, or two. Only Lunar was human. Or animatronic. There was a roaring alligator on the ground, and Molten(???) appeared from nowhere holding Solar on his shoulder.

They were all black with soot, and still arguing.

“What the hell is going on here?” Miku yelled, her voice rising to an octave.

No one said anything, and there was an awkward silence, before Molten cleared his throat. Molten’s muffled, innocent voice dropped a few bombs on the seemingly ruined ceremony.

“Uh… We’re here to rescue Sun. Can you please let Sun go?”

“And for what?” Miku scoffed, tossing her green hair. “Just because you said please?”

“Um, yes?”

“Oh, my sweet summer child. The answer is no. Go home and play with your toy. Adults are married here.” Miku’s voice was sweet as venom. She gave the priest a commanding tone. “Let’s start quick before I fire you.”

“Urm… Wait… Sun can’t marry you.” Molten said in a soft, timid voice. Their icy blue eyes fixed on Sun with a look that Moon could only dare to call cherish.

“Why?” Miku narrowed her eyes in confusion. She looked as if she was about to call security to escort them all out.

A voice whispered into Moon’s ear.

‘Don’t interfere, big brother. Things start getting interesting.’

“Lunar, what are you on about!???” Moon screamed softly at lunar.“Because Sun married me.”

The bomb Molten drops, even makes Moon drop his phone.