The Room - Tumblr Posts
And say hello to Tomorrow when we get there.
"you are tearing me apart lisa" is such a raw line, you could read it in an ancient greek tragedy or a hardcore yaoi doujinshi but actually it's from the room
Best Worst Movies: "The Room"
Ever wondered what would happen if someone with absolutely no talent was given enough funding to produce a movie? Ever wonder what would happen if that same person also starred in, directed, and wrote said movie? If you said yes, then "The Room" will answer all of your questions. Tommy Wiseau directs, produces, writes, and stars in this film about Johnny, a man whose fiancee begins cheating on him with his best friend. Almost every single flaw in this movie can be traced back to Wiseau. His acting is hilariously atrocious. He goes through the entire movie without really changing his expression, and his accent is so thick and indeterminate that he could just be spouting nonsense (which is not far from the truth), and it would make just as much sense. The other actors aren't much better, but, then again, they didn't have much to work with. The script is very repetitive, yet it somehow still manages to not give us information that we, as viewers, want and need. Relatively important characters and plot points show up and disappear completely unintroduced and unexplained, people do and say random things that make even less sense in context, and the audience gets beat over the head with the same couple of scenes over and over. For example, Lisa, Johnny's fiancee, talks to her mother about not wanting to marry Johnny several times. Nothing new is added to each scene to make it any different from the last (except for the revelation that Lisa's mother has breast cancer, but that's only brought up once and is never mentioned again). Drama ends up becoming funny because of how poorly executed it is, and the lack of actual compassion that the viewer feels for the characters leaves you with nothing to do but laugh at them. This is another great movie to snark at with friends, just make sure that you're ready for long and uncomfortable sex scenes with terrible original music playing in the background.
The Room: The Game
The Room is a blessing to mankind. When you meet someone new, you can ask them "Have you seen The Room?" and whether they say "Yes" or "No," you can always follow-up with "Oh my God! We should totally get together and watch The Room sometime!"
Now someone has taken The Room and made a full-scale adventure game out of it. YOU ARE Johnny as he goes to work, is denied a promotion, buys Lisa a red dress, and throws a football around while wearing a tuxedo. And look, it's Claudette! Denny! Michelle! Michelle's boyfriend Mike! There's even an awesome battle sequence where you and your best friend Mark must defeat the notorious druglord Chris R!
Be advised, though: the game contains cartoon nudity, violence, and 80% of the script from The Room.
The Room - a poorly attempted review
This post is dedicated to the friend who gave me his spare ticket. I would say more nice words but his ego is big enough and I already bought him a chicken kebab.
Holy shit, Tommy Wiseau. Holy shit.
On Saturday night I was lucky enough to get a ticket to see The Room. This is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I’m gonna frame my ticket. Holy shit.
The Room is described as “the Citizen Kane of bad movies.” Audiences all over the world have gathered together to touch base with their inner bitches and laugh at this film. It’s so bad that it came out the other end and is now cinematic gold.
The Room is the world’s most hilariously confusing soft-core mystery-porn. Who knew that was a genre? I would give a breakdown of the plot but I honestly don’t know what the fuck happened. There was a love triangle. There were framed spoons in the background (of course I’m not kidding). There was a football. There was boning and it was awkward. Things didn’t make any damn sense.
The three primary actors are Johnny (Tommy Wiseau), Lisa (Juliette Danielle) and Mark (Greg Sestero). Johnny is the main character. He has an accent that I can’t place. The best description I can think of is Arnold Schwarzenegger: drunk and high. Mark is his best friend and we know this because it gets repeated. A lot. Lisa is Johnny’s “hot” fiancé but is cheating on him with Mark. Lisa is probably my favourite character out of the lot. Think of the 3 trashiest towns in your area. She is a combination of their finest, but with a super special extra dose of crazy. At one point it’s announced that she is pregnant, but she then back tracks and says that she made it up because she was bored. BORED! Ahahahaha!
It’s like Tommy Wiseau wanted to make a film about the Dawson-Joey-Pacey love triangle from Dawson’s Creek. But he wanted to make everything worse: acting, actors, dialogue, sets, shots - EVERYTHING! He also decided to throw in a bit of the drama from Dawson’s Creek, but didn’t which ones to go with. Happily, Wiseau seems to have looked at all his options and decided that shit, they’re all good! Imma use ‘em all.
Every subplot was picked up and dropped almost immediately. But that's okay because these unexplored subplots certainly bring the LOLs. A secondary character gets roughed up by a drug dealer that he owes money to, and then it's never mentioned again. Another character announces that she has cancer. Her 5-second announcement is all the time that is spent on this. How fabulous is that?
Sometimes/often when I go to movies I end up laughing loudly at inappropriate times. I’m usually the only one. Not this time. The laughter was so intense that I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing a few times. I’ve never been in a movie with audience participation like this. There were waves of plastic spoons being thrown. That’s not an exaggeration – those bastards kept flying over the crowd. After all, why clap when you can throw a spoon? I left the cinema to the sounds of laughter and plastic spoons being crunched underfoot. Good times.
The experience of seeing this film was overwhelming. The movie itself is awesomely bad, but the experience of being in that audience was on a level that I've never seen before. We were still quoting lines from this movie at 3am-ish while eating a Kebab after several hours of drinking. At one point, we were trading/yelling one liners with another table who’d been at the same film. I've spent 3 days working on this damn review because every time I sit down to write something, I get overcome by the whole experience. This wasn't really a film that was meant to entertain and tell a story. This was a vanity project that went horribly wrong. This 'shrine' to Tommy Wiseau's self-perceived greatness has turned him into a bizarre joke and apparently he's cool with it, to the point where he shows up and sells merchandise at midnight screenings.
I knew it was gonna be a good night when I got ID’d while buying a bottle of Tui. It was more than that. It was transcendent. I live in a post-Wiseau world now. Come join me. We have footballs.
I'm still buzzing about The Room. If you've seen it (and loved it) you'll understand.
Anyways, go ahead and click on the heading. It's exactly what it says it is while also being safe for work. Yay!
My favourite quote:
Do multiple shoots for editing’s sake
It’s based on the cost. Each scene, we usually did one to four, but certain scenes including the love scenes -- or the Chris R. scene -- we did more than four times.
Damn! No wonder Lisa only did missionary!
Thank you for your wisdom, Tommy Wiseau!
I'm bored, so I painted one of my favorite quotes.
Happy Room-iversary! (*ﾟｰﾟ)
A summary of art for 2021 because why not.
...I didn't have anything for February and July. ; w ;
Guess who watched The Room lmao
It’s so under appreciated I swear
I don’t always get to do digital art but when I do it comes out better than anything I do. Thanks @polygonalangel ❤️
