Tezcatlipoca - Tumblr Posts

Aztec Gods Incorrect Quotes 12

*After Tezcatlipoca gets himself in deep shit*

Huitzilopochtli: Okay, so I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Quetzalcoatl: I don't care, honestly.

Huitzilopochtli: Okay, so we received confirmation that Tez is alive.

Quetzalcoatl: Okay, now what's the good news?

Aztec Gods Incorrect Quotes 11

Tezcatlipoca: There you go, a nice hot cup of coffee.

Quetzalcoatl: ...It's cold.

Tezcatlipoca: A nice cup of coffee.

Quetzalcoatl: It tastes terrible.

Tezcatlipoca: A cup of coffee.

Quetzalcoatl: Are you sure this is even---

Tezcatlipoca: CUP.

I require the elixir of life m'lord (headcanons abt the trickster gods ie set loki tez hermes huehuecoyotl heck throw in odin and susanoo for a lil bit of razzle dazzle)

-mythos made of soup

Hi Kata! and yes I have SO MANY HCS about this gang.

Here are my hcs:

Mix and matching the prankster and prankee. Because we all know these gods have been dealing with their respective trickster for centuries on end, like the norse world has been dealing with Loki's shit for way too long to not know what's coming. But that's the beautiful thing of trickster gods banding together---they come up with new methods of creating chaos. And of course they use it to torture gods like Huitzilopochtli and Osiris.

They definitely have game nights, but very rarely does it ever work out. Like, they'll be playing Uno but the moment a +4 is laid down, you know that someone's going to be threatened with obliteration.

They look out for each other, you know? And I mean that in a sense where one of them is bored, finds out some shit that happened to another trickster god a century ago, and goes to mess things up for the pantheon. Or at least pickpocket them until all their gods have gone bankrupt (I see you there, Hermes)

There's always got to be a voice of reason, even within a group of people creating chaos. And more times than not I think that's because there are the chaotic tricksters (Loki, Tez, etc), and then there's the more serious "This is just murder it's not even trickery" tricksters (Set). Often, these two groups present each other with some version of "Are you sure this'll work out? I mean seems pretty stupid imo" and "This seems pretty heavy on the murder-y parts, tone it down a little we're not trying to start an ALL out war here..."

They go out to dinner sometimes, which often turns out like their game nights (although a little better).

Certain members of the group like hanging out together. Tez and Loki, because both are chaotic, Susanoo and Set because both are not so chaotic (Set definitely is sometimes, but I think he's a tad bit of the violent kind rather than the shits-and-giggles-pranks guy).

The rest of their pantheons are terrified at this new "alliance", as they should be. They'll be locking away their valuables in magic-proof containers for years after.

Me needs Vishnu x Tez bromantic hcs ft. Quetz and Shesh maybe :3

Probably sent this ask hoping for one or two headcanons, but too bad. You're getting a speech.

-So, they first met while trying to set up Shesh and Quetz. Tez didn't know anything about the Hindu pantheon and vice versa with Vishnu, and they both just heard someone they hang out with a lot (in Tez's case, his brother) say "So I met this cute guy" and Vishnu probably went "Cool, you need any help with that?" And Tez went "Oh fuck no, you can't date to save your life here I'll set you up".

-When they met, each with no knowledge on the other's pantheons, I imagine their conversation to be like this: "My brother is such an idiot." "I'm sure he's not that bad, my friend likes him a lot." "Maybe his flirting won't go to waste if my brother actually UNDERSTANDS that he's being flirted with."

-After they met, they clicked pretty quickly, they started off trying to make their respective friend/brother (in Tez's case) realize the other's clear feelings, but then they started just hanging out.

so here are some hcs on their relationship after then, because I don't want to bore you with backstory

-Vishnu is the "If someone hurts you I'll heal you" type and Tez is the "If someone hurts you I'll kill them" type. They compliment each other well.

-Tez is a master at UNO. He taught Vishnu how to play, and they often just play UNO if there's no other pastime.

-They watch murder mystery TV shows. Tez can determine the murderer in about .5 seconds except he doesn't know why and Vishnu can explain to him in a TED talk exactly why the murderer is the murderer and how to catch him/her.

-They both love Disney movies, surprisingly.

-Like Shesh and Quetz, they also like to point out the historical inaccuracies in shows/movies.

-Tez can metabolize any kind of alcohol, although he rarely drinks. Based on previous hcs, Vishnu often prefers milk (despite being lactose intolerant. That's just lactose intolerant culture). They sometimes go to bars together just because one of them want to try it out gain.

-Tezcatlipoca has like 60 cats. Wild cats, house cats, etc. Vishnu comes over just for his cats.

-Vishnu is overall more successful in getting Shesh to admit his feelings, although the two of them have a little friendly competition over who can get the other to stop being more dense. The current bet is up to 200 dollars.

Anyway, that's all for now, sorry it wasn't neat and kinda rambley but I do have a LOT of thoughts on these characters!

Aztec Gods Incorrect Quotes 12

Tezcatlipoca: I really hate it when I say I hate a song and then Quetzalcoatl goes, "But you have to admit it's catchy."

Tezcatlipoca: Bitch, the plague is catchy, doesn't mean it's good.

Aztec Gods Incorrect Quotes 13

Quetzalcoatl: Tezcatlipoca, I need some advice. 

Tezcatlipoca: You need advice from ME? 

Quetzalcoatl: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Aztec Gods Incorrect Quotes 14

Tezcatlipoca: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying

Aztec Gods Incorrect Quotes 15

Quetzalcoatl: I have a problem. 

Tezcatlipoca: Kill it. 

Quetzalcoatl: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

Aztec Gods Incorrect Quotes 16

Tezcatlipoca: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Hello idk if someone asked you this before but what singers/bands do you think the 4 tezcatlipoca listen too? (As well any other Aztec gods you want to list as well)

I thought about Tezcatlipoca liking aurelio voltaire but it could be because I see him maybe liking the gothic aesthetic since he’s associated with the night and things dark ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (also I think there was a myth saying him and quetz inventing music for the world so there’s that too)

Okay so I love love love this ask because JKDDFVVKJZDDHG RAMBLING TIME

So Tezcatlipoca and Quetzalcoatl did invent music. That’s why I sometimes hc that they’ll go to Broadway musicals or shows together, and sometimes they surprisingly both listen to classical music (specifically piano) because it tends to remind them about the quote unquote “earlier” forms of music (without lyrics). Now, I do think Tezcatlipoca occasionally listens to popular artists at the moment, but generally yea he listens to gothic aesthetic music (and electronic, because I can see him listening to it a lot somehow).

Huitzilopochtli also likes electronic music. It fits his fast paced vibe and the energy of...yk being the sun. He also tends to listen to songs without lyrics, but in that group he primarily listens to electronic or some other type of fast-paced music. He also gets dragged to Broadway musicals by his brothers, and while he doesn’t admit it he thinks it’s kind of cool.

Xipe Totec’s playlist would be more mellow, with more classical artists and occasionally just vibe music, yk? But his music tastes are the hardest to pin down for me because while he’s portrayed as benevolent and I like to think of him as this patient, quiet guy, he can also be ruthless, angry, and all the generally negative things that embody his being. So maybe he listens to more hardcore music. The sudden change from gentle music to rock or whatever the hell that guy likes will be pretty jarring but you get used to it (read: Tez has now withdrawn from stealing his AirPods because he has no fucking idea what song’s going to be playing in there).

Anyway I’m sorry this was kind of long and I didn’t name too many actual bands or singers/artists, but I kind of read this as their general music tastes if that’s ok lol 😅 plus idk that many artists in their range of music taste sooo

But seriously, whoever you are thank you so much for this ask, it made my day! 😄😄

Tezcatlipoca, Coyolxauhqui, Xipe Totec, and Mixcoatl: Why tell someone to kill themselves when you can do it for them

out of the aztec gods who would say kys and like actually mean it and who would not be serious

with the Aztecs, i feel like most of them can be scary and serious so many of them are serious lol... with Coyolxauhqui and her dad Mixcoatl,, i've always imagined them to be more serious and stern so i think they wouldn't bother saying "kys"-- they'd just get down to it.

I also head canon Xipe Totec as the true wild card of the four tezcatlipocas, because yes Tezcatlipoca is a ball of chaos but his brand of troublemaking is like...chaos within order. He brings strife for change. Meanwhile Xipe Totec embodies spring and like most seasons spring has the capability to be very diverse and unpredictable, so some of that carries onto him. Like, you cannot TELL what this man is going to do next. He's mostly nice but at the same time this guy skins himself every year, so you can't expect him to be that gentle (and he's probably in a bad mood around spring because yeah skinning yourself goes hard).

Also yes. Tezcatlipoca rage quits. Every time he loses at anything Quetz needs to physically hold him back from destroying humanity again.

heyyyy its been a while but I have some more aztec mythology head canons regarding the four tezcatlipocas

Ooo okie letsa see

(Yes ik theres more than four but thats bc of the like depends who you ask thing)

Tezcatlipoca: the kind of guy that gets upset if you dont pick up the phone or show up like 2 seconds late for something while never answering the telephone and always showing up late, is thinking miku miku ooeeoo, waluigi on mario kart, rage quit playing knots and crosses with a computer;

Mictlantecuhtli: listens to classical music like its heavy metal and calmly listens to metal like ots classical music, idk why but i think he watches novelas, cinnamon roll, "cant rn, having a tea party with gertrude, shes telling me about her grandkids and how excited she is to see them in dia de los muertos", yoshi in mariokart, the embodiment of that "literally name one thing better than a dog" post if yk what im talking abt;

Quetzacoatl: if he got the golden ticket he would have robbed all of the chocolate in the factory and helped the oompa loompas to make a workers union, toad in mariokart, likes to laugh at conspiracy theories;

Xipe-totec: same vein as mictlantecuhtli with music stuff, great at cooking, baby peach in mariokart, victim of deez nutz jokes;

Huitzilopochtli: do not allow him on the kitchen my man cannot cook for the life of him, "be the reason why the music stops in a videogame", luigi in mariokart, is in the sun deities groupchat and only ever replies with "k." when someone tells him its his turn to be the sun;

We got

Quetzalcoatl x Shesh

Tezcatlipoca x Vishnu /plat

Now I suggest you...

Xipe Totec x Vasant /plat

SPRING BOIS SPRING BOIS SPRING BOIS

(their dynamic would be very interesting)

Also it's funny how Tez got along with Vishnu when if we're going sibling-wise he should've gotten along with Vasuki instead ☠️

shhhhhh no one else gets it but them

Four tezcatlipocas likes blood ketchup

Anddd Quetzalcoatl likes chocolate

His brother are fighting

Blood ketchup like mixing blood with tomatoes? Actually, yeah, kinda. I hc that the four gods (except for quetzalcoatl) need blood offerings to survive (kinda like vampires, but also a little different because they specifically need blood that was made as an offering), but they're pretty grossed out at the concept of just straight up drinking blood over the years. Hence why they try to make it into something that's actually edible.

Also yeah, Quetzalcoatl is very against human sacrifice, the snake boi just wants his chocolate

They fight about it sometimes

Hello I just wanted to know if you have any head canons of what shows the 4 Tezcatlipocas would watch :3

Hi, thanks for the ask! I think they would watch:

Animated movies so they can point out historical inaccuracies. They already do this with a couple of friends, but with their family, I think they actually like to watch the movies for the plot and action (not that they would tell anyone haha)

Murder mystery shows! They have a little game where they see who can figure out the murderer the fastest, and then the next person would try to beat that time (all of them are aiming to figure out the murderer's identity before the protagonist does)

Reality TV shows. Tezcatlipoca drags them to watch these.

Anyways, that's all I have for now because it's early morning for me, but I will be back with more (let me know if you would like to be tagged in the other hcs I will post eventually!)

Tezcatlipoca: "I lost a bet." 

Tezcatlipoca: The second-most ominous phrase in existence. 

Quetzalcoatl: What's the first? 

Tezcatlipoca: "Let's make a bet."

tezcatlipoca hcs pls? (They don't need to be about any particular subject it can just be general or silly hcs about him)

okieee silly hc's because i've already done serious ones here :))

one thing about Tezcatlipoca is i think he is really petty, and his favourite hobby is doing everything opposite to Quetzalcoatl.

so like.. if Quetzalcoatl says ''i think it's time for a new sun'', he will adamantly try and convince everyone that it is NOT time for a new sun even if he doesn't even believe that himself.

yes, he is editing wikipedia to prove his arguments correct.

also, he's super good liar so i think he often just spurts out any nonsense from the top of his head, but because he delivers it with such a serious face, i think many of the gods believe him.

Huitzilopochtli falls victim to these lies most often, but he is getting BETTER and picking out Tez's little falsehoods :))

if he watched TV, his favourite genre would be drama, no doubt. like the bad, bold & the beautiful type drama.

i think he'd send letters and stuff to the writers of the shows to say how they treated certain plotlines absolutely terribly and it would be paired with very colourful language and hilarious insults.

um, i think i've mentioned in my previous hcs that i think Tezcatlipoca is pretty much always seen with a jaguar. he has a pet one (read: several), and they all have the same temperament as him.

i like the idea of these jaguars lazing around everywhere.. sometimes they will sleep in Quetzalcoatl's favourite chair and they will NOT MOVE and there is nothing Quetzalcoatl can do about it... Tez may or may not have trained them to do this.

Xipe Totec: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?  Quetzalcoatl: Um, murder???  Huitzilopochtli: Adventuring!  Tezcatlipoca: Tuesday.

Quetzalcoatl: I’m gonna die alone.  Tezcatlipoca: Quetzalcoatl, you’re not gonna die alone.  Quetzalcoatl: Xipe Totec, was my safety net, okay? They have better things to do and now I have to get a snake.  Huitzilopochtli: Uh-huh. Why is that?  Quetzalcoatl: If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face.  Quetzalcoatl: So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man.  Quetzalcoatl: Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!