Steve Rogers Is Dying - Tumblr Posts
The Last Breath || Steve Rogers x reader
Summary: Fight against Thanos takes a dramatic turn.
Warnings: Major character’s death, overall sadness.
Words: 1600
Request by: @herdofsambars
Authors: Rouge & Cass
Everything was incredibly still.
The pain that once burned like fire had faded away to an icy numbness. You didn’t pay attention to it anymore. You were running through the jungle, just to find Steve. You had to find Steve. It was your target.
And when you saw him getting injured by Thanos who was laughing at his own actions, you felt like your soul has split.
There was something in that shout, a pain behind it. You simply watched. You watched Steve’s eyes. Then you knew that the anger was nothing but a shield for pain, like a cornered soldier randomly throwing out grenades, scared for his life, lonely, desperate. You breathed in real, looking Thanos straight in the eye, and when he dissapeared, you approached Steve slowly, sanking on your knees right next to him.
Steve looked at you trying to force a comforting smile, he already knew what was coming.
He lowered his glance and looked at the bloody spot right in the middle of a place where a silver star from his uniform used to be.
“It will be okay,” he tried his best to assure you but was there really a point?
He could feel every inch of his body screaming from pain, his breath was getting rapid and the wound was bleeding heavily, staining his uniform.
Was it really his end? Steve could feel how his body began to give up and he slumped completely on the ground, grabbing your arm tightly, he could feel the panic rising in his mind. Right now, the brave Captain America was gone, there was only Steve Rogers, just a scared boy from Brooklyn.
“Crystal…,” he breathed out.
You inhaled a trembling breath, sweat accumulating on your skin, an icy cold.
“Yes? Yes, Steven?” You asked, barely moving your lips.
You reached out and touched his cheek.
Steve was getting pale slowly and you did anything you could to hold your tears back.
‘It’s… It’s getting so cold, why..?“ Steve mumbled. Even talking was getting harder, he tried to desperately squeeze your arm harder in a quiet scream for help but all he could do was to twitch his fingers, he was losing control, and this was sending even bigger waves of fear through his already weak body.
Steve tried to move, grasping onto remained vestiges of his strengths, he could simply feel how gravitation was pulling him toward the ground and he could do nothing about this.
Stain on his uniform was only getting bigger and bigger, it was already reaching his stomach and blood didn’t stop pouring out of the wound.
"Crystal… Please… Do something! Save me… I don’t wanna vanish…” Steve thought that he was screaming but in fact, it was nothing more than a pathetic whimper of a person that was looking for a salvation.
Just like those clouds above, your insides were in a chaos. A mess. Something was bothering you. Something was hurting you. Something ached inside you. Something felt so wrong, so invalid but you couldn’t tell what. You tried to pin point the cause for this unexplained pain but failed. You tried to reason this unbearable burning but didn’t find any. Everything felt so confused, just like a jumbled set of a puzzle.
And then you realized. Previously unspoken fear has torn your insides apart, from mind to soul.
Steve was dying and there was nothing you could have done to help him, to save his life like he’s done many times for you.
“Breathe…,” you whispered, leaning over him, “I’m with you, you’re not alone… I’m with you till the end of the line.”
“Crystal… Crystal, please, help me… I can’t feel my legs. Why my chest… Why is it so heavy?” Steve asked with a quiet whimper.
With every minute Steve felt like strength was draining out of him, he couldn’t move, he was cold, and every breath was painfully hard to take.
He wasn’t ready to go, he didn’t want to go.
He was Captain America himself but on the other hand maybe it was a good thing.
Steve was fighting through his whole life. Maybe it was a good time to give up? With these thoughts, Steve calmed down and embraced the fact that he was drifting away into the darkness. This was his real salvation, no more fighting nor saving the world.
He smiled at you weakly while his eyes filled with tears. “Is this the end Crystal, right? Do you think they all are waiting for me? All of my friends? Mom and dad? Peggy?”
You simply sobbed into his chest unceasingly, hands clutching at his uniform covered in dirt, blood and dust.
Steve held you in silence, rocking you a bit as your tears soaked his chest. A tiny lapse let you pull away, blinking lashes heavy with tears, before you collapsed again, your howls of misery worsening. The pain must have come in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling you back into the outstretched arms of his grief.
“Don’t leave me, Steve. Just hold on, I will get help for you, just wait for me, and don’t close your eyes. We will pull you out of this, okay? Just don’t you dare to close your eyes, Rogers!” Your grief has turned into a panic mixed with dose of helplessness.
You looked around, trying to figure out where you could have started with looking for other team members but you were too afraid to leave Steve alone.
Steve took your cheeks into his hands, looking you right in the eyes. “Crystal, it’s over, I can’t fight anymore. I’m afraid this is the end,” he said quietly and pressed his lips to yours. It was his goodbye to you, the death was slowly coming to harvest his soul.
Was he scared? He couldn’t tell, he was truly scared of what was coming but at the same time, he felt happy. Steve was going into a better place, where everyone was awaiting him.
His hand slipped into your palm. “Crystal, please. Be brave and don’t cry. I had a wonderful life here, I couldn’t ask for more. Finish what we all have started,” Steve smiled at you slightly as his eyelids became heavier. He started to slowly drifting away, and at this point no one could stop it.
You became quiet, yet you have wanted to scream and shout all these emotions out of you, it would be easier that way. Unfortunately, your throat was swollen, so you couldn’t even properly breathe.
You laid next to him, nuzzling into his neck, trying to be as close as it was possible.
“I’m sorry, for all I’ve done, for how awful person I was many times, for all the moments when I disobeyed you…,” you were counting quietly. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t have saved you, Steve… Forgive me, my love…”
You pulled up a bit to reach his pale lips. You pressed yours to his for the very last time, letting the tears roll down your cheeks.
*********
Steve felt weird, he expected to see nothing but darkness, instead he felt the warmth.
He looked down at his body, inspecting every little inch; his uniform, blood and whole suffering were gone.
The place was warm and oddly familiar, Steve looked around and then recognized it. It was one of those places where young soldiers used to hang out before they were sent on the front.
“Excuse me, handsome,” he heard a voice and felt like someone grabbed his palm. “I believe you promised me a dance, sir.”
Steve turned his head only to see Peggy smiling at him.
He gladly returned the smile. “I believe so, too,” Steve answered and followed Peggy on a dance floor.
Steve wrapped his arms around her waist while she wrapped hers around his neck. “You did a great job, soldier but the war is over now, Steve. No more fighting, no more suffering,” Peggy whispered and gently caressed his cheek.
“I know,” Steve nodded and smiled.
*********
The sun shone brilliantly and the virescent colour of the spring day under it’s glare was offensively bright and cheerful. It was as if they conspired to show you how the world would go on without Steve. It shouldn’t. Everything should be as grey and foggy as my emotions, it should be cold and damp with silent air. But the birds still sang and the flowers still bloomed. You walked through the churchyard like a silhouette of yourself, wishing you really were as insubstantial as the shadows so that your insides might not feel so mangled.
The battle against Thanos was lost. Not many of your colleagues have survived.
But now, all of you met up again, at the funeral of Captain America. And you were the one to make a speech.
“I could write a million letters, each one the same as the last in sentiment and cadence. They stay the same, only the word arrangement changes. It boils down to one thing, we all miss you…,” you said, trying to keep your head straight, “You should be here. Ultimately, no one knows if that is selfish or not and even if it is, to hell with the rest of the world and their opinions. You should be here. I miss you. Your pretty blue eyes, beautiful smile, wily heart, torn mind, and kind, tortured soul. My heart is missing an integral piece, a part that keeps it from working correctly. I miss you, Steven Grant Rogers. And I do hope you finally found your peace.”
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